end it with a bang!

How did I spend the last three days of 2006?

I went with my friends to OWWA where we made loads of troubled fellow Filipinas happy by giving them what they needed --- a little fun, entertainment, and stuff to get by.

I went to Global Village and shopped for my friends. Checked out the awesome stalls. Sherry and I danced o the tune of a Japanese pop song and posed with a Sumo wrestler, wore hats from Vietnam, shopped for bags in India, munched on Pinoy snacks, bought a few trinkets in Kenya, and of course I had fun eating crepes at the French stall. Even "crepe-t" to the back of the stall to have a chat with the chef.

Then welcomed Jen (fresh from Manila), and I got pasalubongs from Jel!!! Yahoo!!! Thanks Jel, loved everything, you know what I like! Galing! Kiss Kiss!!!!

Fifi and I had a chat this morning, and now I'm online with Kath and Charm. They're funny, amazing, and we've been friends for what? 14 years already? That's something. Love 'em, love 'em.

Slowly making amends.

I remember making a promise to myself last year, that I would do something big and bold and good, and I did! I did just that!

Now I promise this year is going to be FABULOUS.

weekend plans

Last day of work. Yahoo!
I’m working again on Tuesday.
Love it.
Unfortunately I feel a bad flu coming. What a bummer.
But knowing myself, I will ward it off in no time.
I must’ve eaten ten mini-oranges today.
That should do the trick.

My program for the weekend?
I’ll kick it off with a movie date with Sherry.
Maybe Apocalypto or something else.
Just an easy Thursday night.
Tomorrow I’ll meet with my fellow alumni to go to the Philippine consulate to visit unfortunate Pinays stuck for a place to stay, jobless and cannot go back home because they can’t buy plane tickets. So we’re giving them phone cards to call home, food and some toiletries to get by.
If we’re really lucky we might even raise money to buy some of them plane tickets.
My former officemates managed to raise more than half of what I need to turn in and that really made me happy. Thanks, guys.
This is me doing charity work, thank you very much.
I can’t remember the last time I did something for my fellow Pinoys.
Well, I used to donate blood regularly in college but that was because I wanted to lose weight, even it meant anemia for me.
Now it’s different. Raising money won’t give me anemia.
I think this is my way of giving back to the people who helped me during my first months here in Dubai. The amount of help extended to me by so many nameless faces pulled me out of a slump I never want myself or other people to experience again.

Chuck the drama out.
Friday night will most probably be a party night for me.
Friends, champagne, dessert, probably karaoke if the bars are opem.

I also plan to do a bit of shopping in the weekend.
A new wallet to replace my ratty old one.
Or perhaps a pair of REAL shoes, or a bag that has a decent handle.
Or a nice gym shirt. Or rubber shoes.

This might never end, so I’ll spare you the rest of the stuff on my list.

Ciao!

i hate my hair

I hate my hair!
No character whatsoever.
Just a bundle of long, silky smooth, lovely-to-hold, fragrant black hair.
Hang on, that sounded nice.
But I miss my old hairdo.
The one that made me look unique and even weird.
The short, rockstar-ish ‘do that made me want to take a guitar and write a song.
The one you don’t dare touch.
In January I will have my hair cut.
Something new for the new year.
Maybe I should try something else.
Not the rock star look, not this Maria Clara style either.
If I grew a beard, will people finally remember my name?

ambivalent

I took an online quiz this morning to find out my relationship style. You can now roll your eyes.

According to them experts, there are three categories that people can fall under when it comes to dealing with relationships:

ISOLATORS
If you are an Isolator, you need a lot of personal space. Isolators minimize emotion, are often guarded and unconsciously push people away, keeping them at a distance.

FUSER
If you are a Fuser, you have an insatiable appetite for closeness and don't like being alone. Fusers crave attention and are sometimes described as clingy.

AMBIVALENT
If you are an Ambivalent, you are a little bit of both. Ambivalents like to pull away, yet they want to feel close at the same time. They can also be confusing and hard to read.

The quiz results say that I am ambivalent, based on my childhood experiences.
This means that I am “uniquely qualified to have a successful relationship with a partner from either category: Fusers or Isolators”. This excited me a lot. I know now that I can end up with a yuppie or a hippie and I’ll be fine.

I’m so ambivalent I can date a plant! Quite relieved, actually.
Better yet, as an ambivalent I can also choose to be temporarily asexual. And not mind relationships yet.

pictures. again.

More... can't help it, sorry!

Here I am alongside the best-dressed nominees. The idiot on the left, explaining why I dressed that way.A rather candid picture. Did Obet really have to pee in his pants? And did it have to lean to the right?Another group picture. See my shiny happy face? Chatting to myself. And of course listening to them.Being such an idiot, trying to gues the word on my forehead. I look downright ugly and there was absolutely no excuse for this!

optimist with a bad face

Last night I was having a nice evening when an unfortunate incident occurred.
Some old guy did a Zidane on me for no apparent reason.
No, I don’t have inverted breasts now, because he went straight for my face.
He smashed my left eye and broke my nose and I think I know how Bakekang feels.
Now my nose is soooo sore it hurts when I chew, and my left eye has a big red dot. I freaking damaged a vein.

(Long deep breath, remember that I am now an optimist.)

Otherwise yesterday was fabulous! I stayed under my calorie limit and gulped down 2 gallons of water, plus I remembered to take my keys with me in the morning so I wasn’t locked out when I came home in the evening. I wore one of my favorite necklaces and watched a bit of Stewie Griffin on YouTube. Slept peacefully after reading a bit of Yes Man and was once again inspired to be positive and let Yes lead the way, take me wherever it wants.

(Long deep breath again, affirm that I am indeed an optimist.)

more pictures

A truly Filipino Christmas party.

The titas and titos, the high-pitched shrieking of girls, the fabulous gays, nipa hut in the garden, the never-ending green jokes, the picture-taking til we dropped, and the pride of being truly Pinoy. Amen.

Sir Abet, Sir Obet88 (pun intended), Sherry, and me! Notice the banderitas in the background. Festive and homey!

Making a fool of myself to make up for all the kakanin I devoured in minutes.

The traditional group pic. Most of us came in Filipino costumes. I loooooved the costumes, the people , the pokpok palayok, and of course, the FOOD.

Another group pic. Great!

(got the pics from Ria, an alumna)

merry christmas!

Christmas has been ok so far.
I am at work. Beat that.
Then off to Karama Post Office to see if there is a package waiting to be claimed.
Gifts, greeting cards perhaps?

Last night it was a simple noche Buena with Obet, Mye, Arvin, Sherry and their guests.

And then I sent a bunch of happy Christmas messages to my friends in the Philippines, my friends here in Dubai, and called my mother, who was as usual, as evil as me, and we just had a blast talking about other people on the phone.

Talked to my cousins, aunts, grannies, etc etc. Happy.

I am as happy as that Somali boy Madonna adopted.
He knows he should be happy.
Hey, everyone must think so! But he has no idea why.
It’s like he goes, “I’m happy because Madonna adopted me. Madonna. The Madonna.”
And I go, “I’m happy because it’s Christmas day. Christmas. Jesus, three kings, all those smiling camels.”

I like that song by Eraserheads,
All around the world, people make a change
C’mon and have a celebration
All around the world, people make a change
It’s time to have a Christmas party…

And then the songs gets bastardized in a variety show, and it becomes more fun!

OK that’s it for today.

Merry Christmas!

a thank you note

This is a thank you note to all those who have helped me not only survive and eat three times a day, but keep my sanity and actually move forward in such a short period of time.
Just think of this as a long shout-out in a rock album.

• Colin Trees, for being the best landlord in Dubai. For sharing and genuinely caring for Fifi and me, and making my birthday a special one in a place where it could have been one of those forgettable and extremely hot summer days.
• Ayadh, who was a spiritual mentor and an angel to both of us. He was essentially one of the main reasons I didn’t give up trying to look for something better, and I will forever be grateful for his trust and concern.
• Haroon, for being nice and well, nice.
• Mike, for being a cool housemate. He was a little too frank to us, but it all worked out for the best. Hope he’s fine and keeping the faith.
• My former officemates, who never let go of my hand when I was down in the dumps. I hit rock bottom, but it didn’t hurt like hell because they were literally there to catch me, and they were there whenever I needed them.
• Karen, for showing us around and being very helpful. It’s nice to have someone from my high school.
• Richard Hall, for spending some time with me when I hated my job and I needed good company .
• Amir, who has been a big nuisance, but has managed to be there for me in the middle of the night when I need someone to talk to. A nice conversation that doesn’t need brains.
• Peter, who cooked for me and gave me one of the best evenings in my life.
• Friends of friends who have become part of me. Obet’s Mye and Arvin, Jen’s Khashif and Khashif’s Fahad, and so on and so forth.
• The Filipinos I encountered --- the ladies who shared their food with us in Oman, the coffee shop manager who gave us free lattes on our first day in the country, the waitress who gave us more than enough wifi stubs so we could surf to the death, the stranger who showed us how to get to the bus station, and all the other nameless faces who have helped us in one way or another.
• Craig and Yolanda, for being wonderful housemates, and making me feel like a part of a family. They’re a lovely couple and I can’t wait to see them again.
• My present officemates --- Khadijah, Renee, Lorna etc etc for making me feel at home and comfortable in the company and for sharing with me a wonderful work experience that I only dreamed of in the past.
• Of course, my UP friends. Eve, Obet, Jennyn, Sherry and all those who never gave up like me. We have seen the worst, all at the same time, and we were all drowning in a large pool of quicksand. But we managed to pull each other up until every one of us was ok again. More than OK, in fact. More than stable. What’s that word again? Happy. Yes, happy.

CHRISTMAS EVE IN DUBAI

…is irrelevant, really.

We have work today. It’s ok, since I don’t have anything else to do.
After work Sherry and I will fly to Deira (with my prized bottle of champagne of course) to shop for groceries.
I’m in charge of the bloody fruit salad. Hell yeah I’ll make it bloody with some red food coloring.
Can’t wait for our wine glasses to clink and our faces to be stuffed with hamon or morcon or queso de bola or…. Goldilocks polvoron. Whichever is served first.

I called Mama and we had a good 30-minute conversation.
I love her. She’s such a grouch but really funny.
We talked about disgusting people, good people, beautiful people (ourselves).
I love the fact that we get along so well because we’re a thousand miles apart and so it is not possible for her to strangle me or for me to roll my eyes at her.
She’s going on a much needed vacation in the summer and I’m sure she will enjoy it and reaaaaaaally have a blast with my fun aunts in New York.

As for me, the Dubai Shopping Festival is on going. Which only means one thing: I’ll shop ‘til I either drop, or run out of dough.
But one thing I discovered about myself, I’m actually generous by nature.
Yeah, I don’t want to buy a phone card every week, and I can live on canned tuna for weeks, and I just DON’T appreciate it when people ask for change, because every fil adds up and I just don’t want to be a piggy bank.
But last night when I went with Sherry and Ethel to Magrudys and the shopping complex right across it, I saw some stuff and didn’t even think about myself.
I bought nice stuff for my friends, and I was eyeing some stuff for my sister.
Wow. I’m so selfless for a cheapskate.

I apologize to my thighs in advance. They’ll have to make room for more fats.
It’s noche buena time!

pinoy food, pinoy humor, pinoy christmas

Last night Obet, Sherry and I attended the UPAA (University of the Philippines Alumni Association) UAE Chapter Christmas Party. It was sooooooooooo much fun! We thought we'd stay in a corner, turn in our required gifts and just eat Pinoy food, then eventually sneak out without saying bye to anyone.

But we actually MET people. We had chats with them, played games (pokpok palayok and Pinoy Henyo, which we lost), and exchanged business cards. There were loud cute gay people who were of course the life of the party.

And so I ate a bunch of Pinoy food, check these out:

And I also did my monologue, to heed Obet and Sherry's forceful request, and it turned out fabulous. I promoted SAMASKOM and even promised them a DVD, which I have no idea where to get now. I'm glad they could relate to the piece. I guess everybody can relate to a provincial girl who goes to the city to work in a call center, never mind the fact that she was magna cum laude in her university, and once a year she gets her scheduled gang bang with a bunch of nasty men whose names start with J.

The villa was nice. It had a nipa hut in the garden, which sooo reminded me of the Philippines. The big Christmas tree in the living room, the baby grand, the altar, the Gary V. version of Pasko na Sinta Ko which Obet decided to sing so emotionally it was almost gay. And everywhere I went I engaged in a nice intelligent (but never without the green jokes) conversation with someone who more or less knew where I was coming from. I love UP.

I love people like them. They're happy, and NOT in a yuppie way. And they were really just what I needed to brighten up the holiday season in a Middle Eastern country. A small community of some of the best Filipinos in the world.

Sherry, Obet and I were so happy. And I was ashamed that I bought candles for the gift giving. Candles. You'd think a UP alumna could give a little more effort or at least creativity into this kind of thing. Well, a dildo would be nice to give, especially if the recipient was a lonely single woman in her early thirties, but the problem is, I'm not a whore. I didn't know where to get a dildo here.

Oh and it was a costume party! The theme was Filipiniana. I went as a Muslim native in Mindanao. I wore a nice Asian-inspired wraparound skirt and a necklace of wooden beads. Plus my Aldo slippers. Hehe. I was nominated for best-dressed. Wow! I actually wear that outfit in the mall.

And you know what? They have big hearts. The arrozcaldo that we didn't finish, they brought to the Philippine Consulate, where some troubled Filipinos stayed. If that's not enough to convince you that we're one of the best Filipino communities in the world, we'll figure out a way to save souls from going to hell.

Last night made me proud. Of being myself. Of being a woman. Of being a UP student. Of being there at the party, with my friends. Of being a Filipino. Of being an OFW.

Looking forward to more UPAA activities.

stewie griffin

I love Stewie Griffin from that cartoon show called Family Guy.
I haven’t watched a whole episode yet but thank God for YouTube I’ve had the chance to acquaint myself with this cute little bastard.
I noticed that every month I have a favorite character that makes my evenings happier.
First it was Dimitri Martin, thanks to Jobee Buenazedacruz. (Next to Jobee herself, of course.)
Then it was Ali G.
And now.
Stewie Griffin, my latest addiction.

If you haven’t heard of him, let me introduce him to you.
He is the baby in the Griffin family.
His parents are Peter, the fat retard and Lois, the doormat.
He has two siblings, one irrelevant chub and Meg, an ugly teenage.
There’s a dog in the home, Brian, who writes novels and drinks like a fish.
And then the baby. The ruthless intellectual who is capable of beating people up, bossing the whole family around, and eventually destroying mankind.

HERE HE IS TALKING TO HIS BIG SISTER ABOUT THEIR FATHER BEING RETARDED:
Meg (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again!

Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight.

…AND HERE HE IS MOCKING BRIAN ON THE NOVEL HE’S WORKING ON:
Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.

…AND HERE HE IS WITH BILL COSBY ON HIS SHOW:
Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."

…AND HERE HE IS WITH HIS BUTLER:
Butler (cuts eggs): Your eggs are cut sir.

Stewie: Cut my milk!

Butler: I can't sir, it's liquid.

Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it, and if you question me again I'll put you on diaper detail and I promise I won't make it easy for you.

…WITH HIS MOM BY THE POOL:
Lois Griffin: Come on Stewie, don't be afraid. It's just water, it's not gonna bite.

Stewie: Shut up! I know it's not going to bite, stupid! What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it you moron! It doesn't have to bite you!

I can go on and on but I won’t.

This is just a 5-minute break from work.

If you want more you can search him on YouTube.

You’ll love him like you love your other evil vices.

DU you like this too?

This is my favorite ad in the whole of Dubai.

I like Du's ad campaign in general, associating water with all the important things in life.But this one I loved.

In a city that grows faster than fungus, it's nice to see some emotion from someone.

Sort of like an intermission, but one that doesn't suck, but relaxes the mind and heart and soul.

And the timing is perfect.

We've never seen so much rain in Dubai lately, and the summer has just ended.

This ad is also very aspirational and symbolic.

This is exactly where I want to be.

In the rain, smiling to the heavens.

And that is exactly what I want to feel.

Ecstasy.

DU you want to share your feelings with me?

zeena

The girl's name Zeena is related to Xenia, Zenia and Zenobia.
Search for names similar to Zeena starting with Ze-, Zee- or ending with -na, -ena, -eena, -zeena.
The girl's name Xenia is pronounced ZAYN-yah.
It is of Greek origin, and its meaning is "guest, stranger." The New Zealand production of the TV series "Xena: Warrior Princess" has brought attention to Xena (ZEE-nah) as a girl's name.
Xenia has 10 variant forms: Xeenia, Xena, Xia, Xiomara, Zaina, Zeena, Zena, Zenia, Zina and Zyna.
The girl's name Zenia is pronounced ZEEN-yah. Variant of Xenia (Greek) "guest, stranger." Zena is a short form of Zenobia. See also Zaina. Tennis player Zina Garrison.
Zenia has 6 variant forms: Zeena, Zeenia, Zeenya, Zena, Zenya and Zina.
The girl's name Zenobia is pronounced ze-NOH-bee-ah. It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "the life of Zeus."
Queen Zenobia (third century BC) was ruler of the wealthy city of Palmyra in the Arabian desert. The name was revived in the 19th century, and has a quaint sound today.
Zenobia has 12 variant forms: Cenobia, Cenobie, Zeba, Zeena, Zena, Zenaida, Zénaide, Zenayda, Zenda, Zenina, Zenobie and Zenna.

my fortune told

I had my fortune told last night with Sherry, Janis and friends.
The man was frighteningly good.
He told me things about myself. And they were very true.
Having my fortune told was good, in a way, because it encouraged me to do better in some partsof my life and jsut give up some stuff I care about.

Now I know that the chances of RIchie and I hanging out again are slim. Very slim.
But at least my mom and sister are safe and healthy and there's no need to worry about them.
I must take care of my back.
I must be a YES Girl and grab opportunities left and right.
This attitude may change my life and take me places.
My dad's worried about how to raise his other daughter and that's fine.
My mom's a very strong woman, and because of that I always consult her before making a big decision.
These are just some of the things I gained from this good man.
I don't ask you to believe it, but I surely do. I surely do.

I still get goosebumps.

life's been good so far

Life's been good so far.
I badly want to be idle, because thinking too much has taken its toll on my laid-back side.
Started last Saturday, while walking to Crowne Plaza for my aerobics class.
I usually walked on the pavement, beside those massive construction projects.
So I decided to walk across the small grassy area, because the grass looked fresh and green and attractive to my old rubber shoes.
It was fine for the first second, until the sprinklers were automatically switched on and I was on the pavement again.
But no kind of sprinkler or amount of water could bring me down.
Soaking wet for no apparent reason (it was not raining), I relied on my iPod for that "don't know, don't care" look.
I reached Crowne Plaza to learn that Rania, the instructor, was not coming.
But there was a new instructor, and we could attend his class in an hour.
The instructor was Victor, a Filipino guy who had been in Dubai for only a week.
A staff member of the gym was in the studio evaluating him, and checking if we were ok with the moves he was demonstrating.
Yeah we were okay, but he incorporated some mambo, chacha and samba moves which I guess was completely off-putting to Mohammed, a macho local who perhaps attended the class for endurance, some serious hardcore cardio, not to learn a few gay steps.
I didn't go home after that. I went with Sherry, Ethel and Shai to Karama.
Shai shopped for souvenirs because she was coming home to Manila this Christmas.
It was a spur-of-the-moment thing (thanks to the ultra-optimistic character in the book I'm reading), a thing I said yes to in a split-second, and so I did not bring any money with me.
I ended up using the last minutes of my phone battery on a unique pictorial.
I proved that I still haven't lost my creativity.
In less than an hour I assumed several characters by just using some of the souvenirs in the queer Karama shop we went to.
I was a tissue dispenser, a gangsta rapper, a seductress with silver tits, a pregnant girl who bore Buddha, and a flight attendant for a cheap airline company.
All in less than one hour. Beat that!
I will have the pictures soon for those who don't believe this, once I figure this infrared thing out.
So yeah.
Life's been good so far.

pictures, pictures

I have not posted pictures in a looooooooong time, because i got fat and absolutely refused to be seen by relatives and friends in Manila from any angle possible. But now that I am slowly losing weight, here are some very nice pictures of two recent great events that I'm happy to have been part of.

The Christmas Party at Khashif's Place

Khashif is Jen's boyfriend and we held our Christmas party at his place, even if he doesn't celebrate Christmas at all.

So I was there with Sherry, Shai, Ethel, Obet, Mye, Arvin, Ronald (the macho dancer-looking guy), Fahad (the big bear with a pipe and Khashif's flatmate who insisted on dancing with me to the tune of Lady in Red), and a bunch of others.

CITY 7 TV Launch Party

It was a fun night. The guys in the pictures are Khadijah, Lorna and her boyfriend Richard, Renee and her boyfriend Abdul, Ruel the accountant, Evelyn, Angelo, Sonia and Fifi.

It was a fun night, because I made a few friends and I could have all the wine I could manage to gulp down just right before I knew I could do stupid things, and the best part: sushi. Dessert was disappointing. I expected to taste really sweet stuff, but instead had a bunch of sour "exotic" stuff.

kubrador

Sherry and I met up and had a snack and then we went off to see the film we'd been wanting to see.

Kubrador was touching. It showed the filth, the frustration, the struggle, the desperation of the people in my country. Oddly enough, I've never missed Manila more.

Direk Jeffrey Jeturian was there and I was literally starstruck. I followed him all the way outside the theater and told him we went to the same university, belong in the same organization, and are both proud to be Pinoys!

Gina Pareno followed suit with a Band Aid on her knee. She said she tripped on her way out the villa. Funny girl. She even gave us pictures of herself in Delhi. She won three international awards for this. So better watch it tonight at the Mall of the Emirates or get a copy.

Proud to be Pinoy,
Zeena

thursday night

It's Thursday and I'm happy.
At 530PM I plan to walk out of the office and start my well-deserved weekend with movie at the Madinat.
I'm not sure about watching Sean Paul on Friday; I'm not really fond of the guy unless I'm high or drunk maybe.
But Eve loves him. Hmm if I can afford to see him.
But as of now it's still Jueteng Kubrador with Sherry.
Anyone want to date me tonight? Kidding.




Not.




Of course I was kidding.




Well, a little.

salvage me

I received my ivillage regular newsletter via email and the subject read "COULD YOU UNKNOWINGLY HAVE HERPES?"
Honestly I wish I had THAT problem. Won't be surprised if in the next issue the subject reads "COULD YOU EVER SALVAGE YOURSELF BY GETTING IN THE SACK WITH SOMEONE...ANYONE?"

tuesday

What does Tuesday mean to me?

1. The day Anushe comes to make the villa look like a home, to tidy it up silly so it looks frighteningly spotless. She also irons some of my tops, and that's a HUUUGE bonus.

2. Middle of the week, which means Thursday is just around the corner and it's time to party again. Well, not exactly party PARTY, like a ruin-your-life night, but a nice evening to cap the past week. I'll probably go see a movie at the Dubai Film Fest.

3. Work is almost finished for the week. I usually get all berzerk with work on Sunday and Monday. What are we doing this week? God who's the guest for this day and who's the guest for that day? But by Tuesday everything is all set and I'vedone most of my work. Life's pretty much a piece of cake one this day. I can have all the tea I want because I've earned it. Yup, my salary comes with tea.

4. Time to have a mini-makeover. Tuesday is midweek in Dubai, which, for a normal female like me whose beauty wears out after a gruesome first half of the week, means I might have to do any, some or all of the following: wax my upper lip, shave my legs, put green gunk on my face, scrub my feet silly, shave my pits, clean my nails and change my boring three-day-old soap.

5. Tuesday slices through the week, which is then divided into two parts, which means Tuesday night must be a relaxing one, a breather, a "power nap" before I carry on with my work again.

It's not necessarily my favorite day, but for some reason I wanted to write about Tuesday.

Next time I'm going to write about algae or business books. Interested?

JUETENG KUBRADOR

I'm very excited to see the films at the DUBAI INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL.

Manila actually has an entry!

The film is called JUETENG KUBRADOR ("The Bet Collector"), and it stars Gina Pareno.

Directed by Jeffrey Jeturian (who went to MY university --- diba Jel?), I have no doubt that this will be another Pinoy favorite.

I want a feel of the outskirts of Manila once again.

I can't believe I'm getting a little tired of all this Dubai extravagance, but then again, this is still not home for me.

another day

Colin's parents are here and I haven't felt this cozy in a long time.
Bruce likes to repair stuff like the water heater and wash the dishes and just fiddle with things.
Pam likes to chat and is very pleasant and repeats things.
They're both very pleasant and I miss having folks in the house.
They brought this teapot with the embroidered covering, and for a minute I tried to see if they built a fireplace.

Work's looking good, especially now that I actually LOVE what I am doing. It doesn't really matter if I stay in the office for a few extra hours. I love my job. For one, there's some dignity to it and it's a TV job. I can't imagine myself working somewhere else at the moment.

Attended pilates. The instructor Denise was very helpful. Upon seeing that I was the only one in class who couldn't raise her feet all the way up past my legs (because of my fat ass), she asked me to stay after class for two minutes. She put two extra rolled-up mats under my butt and told me to keep my elbows still. And I did it! My giant thighs finally moved and contracted and I looked like a pretzel. A large one from Auntie Anne's.

Had coffee with Sherry at Shakepeare. Yes yes yes it was all about love. For the Nth time. But we also told ourselves that we really didn't have to be sad because we are ok, waaaaaaaaaay better than the others. We're actually breathing and able to smile and laugh. Boisterously, like rugby players in a dugout. It was a fun night.

Have to sleep now. Good night.

How was your weekend?

THURSDAY NIGHT
Sherry and I met after work and went straight to the mall. We bought clothes and a few gifts for Christmas. Then we went to my place to shower and change. Then we went straight to Lal's to buy a cake for my Mediawatch officemates. Then walked to my officemates' apartment to find everyone in a festive mood. I gave them the cake (which had a MISHU GUYS LOVE, ZEENA written across the surface) and had a smoke with the guys and I headed off to meet Sherry again.
Then we went aaaaall the way to The Gardens to get wasted and dance to the tune of Lady in Red, Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now and other freaking 80's slow tunes. I slow danced with this big Pakistani bear named Fahad. I stepped on his feet the whole time, and I felt like a floating princess. In a tribe of course, because he's a bear and the place was a jungle. Khashif, Jen's mate, danced My Humps at least a hundred times. OK, I don't have a problem with that. Then there was this Filipino guy named Kerr who wanted to fight Fahad because the bear kicked his shin playfully. Key word: playfully. Kerr was insisting that Fahad was a maniac and that he wanted to bash Filipinos. Hahahahaha that was quite a laugh, because the bear just wanted to have some fun and had so much respect for us.

FRIDAY
Got home from the Gardens at 530 AM. Sherry spent the night at my place and we woke up at 2 PM. We decided to have brunch at good ole Salt N' Pepper in Satwa (daing! monggo! buko pandan!), then we went straight to the Mall of the Emirates to watch The Holiday. It literally moved us to tears. We both looked at each other in a youre-not-crying-are-you-?-because-i-am way. Iris (Winslet) has a huge problem --- she can't fall out of love with a jerk. Amanda (Diaz) has an even bigger problem because she can't love properly --- can't even say the three magic words, and can't cry over a break up. They switch houses under a house exchange program on the internet, and in doing so, they find themselves reversing their fate. AWwwwwww. More tears.
OK enough of that. Then I did my groceries (my favorite buy? Carrefour granola bars, cheap and delicious in berry flavors). Then went home and read a good book.

SATURDAY
Ray and I had lunch yesterday at More, a nice laid-back restaurant at the Al Murooj Rotana. I had a huuuuuuuuge plate of paella, but just ate the seafood and chicken bits. So after the meal my plate looked like a huge pile of rice and bell peppers, like what Peter cooked last Wednesday. Hahaha.
Then he took me to Petzone. I hate pets. He knew that very well. I made that clear to him weeks ago. But the little demons were cute. Especially the turtles. I hated the cats. Their eyes pierced mine. Ugh. They almost opened their mouths and told me to get lost, bitch.
Then I worked out at Crowne Plaza. The step circuit class by Rania was great! I guess she was Indian, because the workout had traces of the Kama Sutra. Occasionally she would scream "Cleavage! Cleavage!" or "Pump! Pump!" That was quite a laugh, but it also made me sad because it reminded me that I wasn't getting any. Any. Anyyyyyy!!!!!!!
Was supposed to have dinner at Ray's place but my stomach acted up. Had to stay home to read a book to sleep and ignore my gas. I felt so bad because he already cooked something --- a big dish, one that involved correander (the spelling correct?) and coconut dressing.

So all in all I had an eventful weekend.

How was yours?

nice evening

Last night was amazing.
Not only because I stuffed my face silly with evil munchies, but because I got to spend a lovely evening with my friend Peter.
I arrived at his flat to take a whiff of his mystery dish: salami, loads of bell peppers, sprouts.
I'm not exclusively a carnivore, but I'm no goat either.
But I ate the the dish because of its rich flavor - the soy sauce, the salt, the pepper.
Plus the rice, which will soon translate to 5 extra pounds.
He also baked cookies to prepare for Christmas.
They were irresistable. I swear.
Even the way he poured our wine, I fancied.
And of course the icing to the cake: dessert.
Caramelized banana and raspberry sorbet.
What the?! No man had ever paid much attention to what he feeds his female guest.
SOme women starve in a man's flat.
Anyway we had dessert while watching Over the Hedge.
Not as funny as Ice Age 2, but deeply touching, if you're an Al Gore kind of person.
Anyway it was nice evening, and I went home with a full stomach and a happy feeling.
In fact when I woke up this morning I didn't feel tired at all.
Even while sleeping, I was aware that someone went out of his way to make me happy.
And he absolutely succeeded.

These are the little things that make me smile.
The little things that make me forget the bad stuff.
These are the dead ends that I'm never worried about.
These are the moments of my youth.

I guess the book I'm reading rubs off on me.
I am the YES GIRL, always nodding my head to anything, because opportunities are there to take advantage of.
No, I am not retarded, nor am I in my second childhood.
I am 24, and I'm living my age.
Bow.

world's greatest nobody

am the world's greatest nobody, and aren't i happy
well you know me, always a somebody to myself
and it feels good to be nobody when you're really somebody
you have this tremendoes potential that people are yet to discover
and it's volatile...any moment, ready to explode, ready to spark in a dark corner

i do not take myself too seriously, for fear that i will eventually be serious
and the fact of the matter is, i want to play with life
just as life has played with me
the thrill of involving myself in an unstable situation
the high of throwing myself in the arms of a shady man
the provocative language i use when i feel like getting an unusual reaction

i am noble, i am warm, i am a challenge to myself and maybe to you
i am easy and unkind, i am all-knowing bordering on annoying
i am not afraid, but i'm shaking like a madman
i am not intoxicated but i wish i were
that way the nights are not silent and the days are extra-bright
and my head is aching sooo bad i become numb to the pain

i am small, i am big, the so-called woman with balls
who runs away from a man to get away from happiness
who runs towards a man to get away from happiness
sooner or later this great nobody will find somebody
and happiness will run to me

pulp

Right now I'm so hung up on old school Pulp songs.
Catchy lyrics.
And painfully real.

HELP THE AGED
"Help the aged,
one time they were just like you,
drinking, smoking cigs and sniffing glue.
Help the aged,
don't just put them in a home,
can't have much fun when they're all on their own
When did you first realise?
It's time you took an older lover baby.
Teach you stuff although he's looking rough.
Funny how it all falls away"

DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME
"Do you remember the first time?
I can't remember a worse time.
But you know that we've changed so much since then,
oh yeah,
we've grown.
Now I don't care what you're doing,
no I don't care if you screw him.
Just as long as you save a piece for me,
oh yeah"

3 R's this weekend

RELAX
I cannot find a good excuse to go home and stay in bed all day.
I love work and all, but it's a national holiday and no one is interested in going on our show or having anything to do with it.
And by not going to work I am actually doing these hard-working professionaqls a favor, by cutting them some slack.
But the damage is done. I am in the office already pretending to be busy when, I really don't have much to do but email, which I can do in the comfort of our dinang area (where we play musical laptops).

RAIN
Yesterday it was not pouring, just drizzling from morning until before evening, but our compound was a big pool of mud.
I spent the first half od the day watching stuff about Scientology (horrible), and watching a the full version of AN IN CONVENIENT TRUTH, a documentary on Al Gore and his mission to make peope aware of how rapid global warming is taking place, and to encourage them to act on this problem.
I was very inspired that said no to plastic bags in Choitram later, and put all my groceries in my gym bag.
Never mind if my stinky socks were right on top of the plump oranges, and the mineral water was wrapped in my panties.
I managed to get out and go to the gym then meet Sherry afterwards for dinner.
Very laid-back, relaxed evening. Except I ate a huge omelette and gulped down half a tall glass of Coffee Frappe, which made my head hurt.
Bad news for my food journal.

REALIZE
After working out while waiting for Sherry, I went to the small bookshop in Crowne Plaza and ended up buying a book called YES MAN by Danny Wallace.
It's a true story of a bachelor (Danny) who retreated from the world (ie. not going to pubs every night with friends and the like), but a man ona train transformed him in 3 simple words: Say Yes More.
So he decided to say yes to everything, and in the first thirty pages of the book half of his yeses either gace him trouble, delayed his endeavors or frustrated him
But he's determined to be a positive person, and excited to see where his affirmative answers will lead him.

I got to thinking about my own life. I know I've said no to lots of invitations, but the few yeses that came out of my mouth had a huge impact on my life.
I came all the way here from a small place back home.
I had two relationships that were completely different you can't even compare them.
I made so many friends and been to lots of places, and met lots of people who made me happy, sad, better, prettier, smarter and so on and so forth.
All because I said yes.
So I realized that I didn't really need to say yes more, because my yeses were enough.
THe only thing I need to work on is trying others to say yes to me.
I have the best intentions. I have many great plans.
And if these people just believe in me, they'll never regret it.

let's face it

"Facing it — always facing it — that's the way to get through. Face it!"
– Joseph Conrad

Inside Business

Last night I received a text message from Greg.
He thanked me for all the effort I've put in the business program.
TV is a passion for me. I know it is where I belong, regardless of my designation.
I was deeply touched by his message. He actually noticed my hard work.
The extra hours I spend in the office to make sure that the program has great content and that we get nothing but the best guests.
The more I do my job the more interested I get in business, in the financial scene of Dubai.
I have yet to find out what the stock market is all about, or what bourses actually do, or why everyday there are top gainers and losers, and why some markets suck.
But facts will unfold each day and I look forward to the day when I can actually talk business. It may sound like a laugh to those who know me, but nothing fuels my desire to learn and work harder than ever than a pat on the back, a token of appreciation, a smile of approval.
For this I will remain INSIDE BUSINESS.

all i want for jel

It's been such a long time since I talked to Jel and Reiz, the Girls' Period Gang.

Jel was in an unbelievably unusual position last night as she found herself asking for our advise.
My insights on her problem -- though I didn't really think it's a problem but a good opportunity --- were enough to make her believe that I was jaded and most probably the biggest cynic she has heard from in a long time.
In the same way she must also think that Reiz was a hopeless romantic and a willing victim of love.
I found myself struggling to make a point, since Jel was leaning more towards Reiz's opinion and I could just sigh.

But in retrospect let's not forget that I forced myself to be tough and relentless when it comes to men, and in time I've trully come to be, and of course it was with the help of none other than my dear friends, Jel playing the biggest role in my graduation from naivete.
Well I don't really expect her to do what I suggested, because I didn't always heed her advise before, and that explains why I had a crappy relationship with a not-so-cute guy.
All I really want is for her to tell me that she is genuinely happy, that there is no other man who can treat her as good as this guy.
And then I will keep my mouth shut.

I do not discount the time and effort this guy spent on my friend, but I do not want him to think that he deserves to get the best, because what he has done has not proven him a guy worthy for my friend yet. And my friend is undoubtedly the best. In everything she does, she aims for no less than perfection.

So tonight or tomorrow morning I hope to speak to Jel or receive an email from her, and hopefully, as I read it, I will read happiness between the lines.
And if not? Of course I'll stay right beside her (though physically impossible), just as she did a million times in the past.

busy

I haven't written in ages.
I've been exhausted from work.
Which is good.
Busy is good.
Idle is eeeevil.

I must have spoken to a hundred different strangers this week, some of them very interesting.
Like the one who arranged for an interview with Mr. Max Clifford, PR god.
He made The Beatles sheikhs of rock and roll, among his successes.
And tomorrow I get to meet THE ONE, Thomas Lundgren.
I asked Greg if I could tag along with him and he said OK. Love it!

Actually I'm loving the business program.
I got a Creative MP3 player (1GB) from a guest we had, Mr. Halabi, just because we interviewed him.
Such a courteous man, and he saves the earth too!
He owns a water desalination plant.
What else? Hmmmm well I've steered away from the really important issues in my life.
I just want to concentrate on work for now, and it needs my efforts the most because we've just launched.

I attended pilates classs lat night, and I was inspired by this middle-aged local, Mohammed, who apparently attends all classes when he can.
He wobbles and falls down and can't balance, and in aero class he just can't keep up, but he keeps on attending the classes, whether he's improving or not.I believe he will.
I know he will. He's just really happy to be working out and sweating, and that's OK.
Perfectly fine.
I walked home singing a tacky version of Emotions by BeeGees, and the wind was just amazing.
It's officially winter.
I slept like a baby last night, in my satin pyjamas and next-to-nothing tank top.


I might be uber busy for the next couple of days.
No worries, as long as I continue to work out, get my 8 hours of sleep, read my favorite books, and have two days off, everything should be all right, if not better.

lazy friday

Literally did nothing today.
I'm trying to save money.
Must remember to take a shower before bedtime.

I just went on http://youtube.com and watched loads of Ali G videos, some enlightening documentaries about Israel and Islam and Neo Nazis, and for 5 minutes got engrossed in Victoria Beckham.

Last night I was sent out for a shoot.
I had to go around bars and find bachelors to interview.
We're doing a piece about how single men in Dubai budget their money.
"Excuse me sir, I'm Zeena working for ____. Are you by any chance single? How are your finances?"
The first ten seconds of my inquiry made me sound like a gold-digger, but in the end it all worked out and we finished at midnight.
The cameraman was getting pissed because he'd been working all day, but a Cinnabon sorted out things between us.

Had tons of carbs today and feel miserable, but Yolanda made great pasta and I couldn't say no. That means working out like Shaq tomorrow. Oh I forgot, we have work tomorrow. Monday then.

When is my favorite guy coming to see me? Only God knows.

taxi fares and then some . . .

Flag-down rates go higher and higher.

Flag down indicates the start of the trip.

And it costs sooo much once the destination is reached.

The taxi driver did his best to avoid traffic jams and you arrived safely at your place of choice.

In relationships, flag-down is indicated by the slightest expression of interest.

A smile, a reply, a dirty joke.

Then the ball starts rolling. The ride begins.

And then it ends.

And it costs you peace of mind, sometimes almost your sanity.

But you both tried yoru best, and it was a good experience.

You learn in the end, and you're exactly where you are meant to be.

So it's not true that drivers are sweet lovers.

If anything, their work is the perfect analogy for pain caused by relationships.

So remind me not to hit on a cab driver.

Every girl has a hoe in her.

It's a fact, just like every guy has a bastard in him.

But I just can't find it in me.

I'm tired.

I find the whole dating thing too overrated and quite frankly, just a sick way of avoiding loneliness.

But I want to be a willing victim, and I want to find the hoe in me and just go out there and have fun.

Why am I not doing just that?

Why do I stay home every night and watch Ali G over and over again and just NOT worried that I might be missing out on something good?

I don't want to be Li'l Kim, but seriously, I've been acting like a granny lately and it's just not healthy.

I started working out (nice pilates session last evening by the way), but I feel so old for all other things.

Actually I kind of know the answer to my questions.

There's only one person in this world I want to be with, and he's not available.

Emotionally or otherwise.

Sad innit.

Li'l Kim must have ONE favorite guy among all her boy toys.

fight the cold

It's cooold already.
It might even drizzle.
But I'm fighting the cold and trying to feel warm and fuzzy.
And since I can't roll up a joint I opted to wear my ratty old jackets.
Yeah that's one of the things I need to buy, a decent jacket.
If I change my mind about that I just might settle for a cup of hot chocolate.
While watching a romantic comedy on DVD of course.

So how do you fight the cold?

significant discoveries

Turkish lemons
Last weekend I thought I did Fifi and myself a favor by buying 2kg of Turkish lemons for Dh2.40. This afternoon i made myself some fresh lemonade and it tasted like crap. If God wants me to end up with a Turkish guy I sure hope he's not as bad as his motherland's lemons.

Down with the yellow
So I started this protein diet that I'm sure won't last a week. I eat egg whites, and they're ok. Filling. I throw away the yellow stuff because that's all cholesterol, and I eat my hard-boiled egg whites with say, 1kg of salt.

breath-taking
I made it a point to brush my teeth for 30 minutes after a showered today. I just felt that my morning breath was scaring the shit out of my housemates (I am home alone again). They're very nice people so I'm sure they're keeping mum about it, but still I wanted to make sure I don't have monster breath. Plus I have a new toothbrush that's neon orange and light blue. Funky!

almonds
I'm excited to go out tonight with Jen and the rest of the gang. Now I have to find a place where they serve free almonds, because plain peanuts won't please these friends of mine. Give them something less than posh and they go craaaazzzy. Still they want their almonds for FREE, because it just doesn't make any sense to buy almonds at the co-op so you can munch on them in a hip bar. And don't believe I made sense with what I just wrote.

skinny jeans
I fit into my skinny jeans now. They're still a little snug, but maybe if I wear them often enough my thighs would just give up trying to get bigger. Skinny jeans are great, because they remind me of how thin I should be. One look at that sexy denim pair makes me want to quit chocolates, salt, and sometimes life. But now I'm very optimistic about my self-improvised weight loss program, and in a few weeks I shall visit my skinny jeans again and let them glide up thighs.

right now

My friends and I had a heavy night last weekend. Heavy in the sense that we were getting deep into relationships (or the lack of 'em), touching all aspects of love, and getting all silly with some German beer and cosmopolitans. And I realized that there are far more important questions that the ones we always ask each other. So love and sex will have to take a backseat right now, because we need to find out about more relevant stuff, like will we ever get away with wearing something that's not black? Or how do we get rid of our fats? And the most important question of all, are there free almonds at the place we're invading tonight?

We all have our problems. But let's chuck the vague, unanswerable ones out and concentrate on the things that will make us happier and produce instant, visible results.

Now where the hell is that girdle.

Ali G

Sorry, Ali G is my latest guilty pleasure.

[to a D.E.A. officer] Ali G: What is the different types of hasch out there? We all know that it's called the bionic, the bomb, the puff, the blow, the black, the herb, the sensie, the cronic, the sweet Mary Jane, the shit, Ganja, split, reefa, the bad, the buddha, the home grown, the ill, the maui-maui, the method, pot, lethal turbo, tie, shake, skunk, stress, whacky, weed, glaze, the boot, dimebag, Scooby Doo, bob, bogey, back yard boogie. But what is the other terms for it?

Boutros Boutros-Ghali: I am Boutros Boutros-Ghali / Put down your gun and listen to...

Ali G: Bob Marley.

Boutros Boutros-Ghali: ...Bob Marley!

Ali G: So, if this show teach you anything, it should teach you how to respek everyone: animals, children, bitches, spazmos, mingers, lezzers, fatty boombahs, and even gaylords. So, to all you lot watching this, but mainly to the normal people, respek. West side.

Ali G: But what harm has violence ever done?

Media analyst: Oh... death!

Ali G: Yeah, but apart from that.

Ali G: Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships.

Speech at Harvard:

Let's talk bout de future - your future. A lot of you iz probably worried bout employment. Unfortunately most of u WILL end up gettin jobs - especially now u iz got de burden of a degree.

You iz de elite, u will be tomorrow's captains of industry. Sittin infront of me is probly da next Bill Gates, Donald Trump...or even Ronald Mcdonald. And even if you can't all be Ronald himself, most of you iz probably McDonald's Team Leader material.

. . . look at de state of family today - girls is havin sex at younger ages, dere's an increase in absentee fathers and more and more people is havin affairs - but we shouldn't just concentrate on de good fings.Believing in something is easy. Actually doing something is harder. Actions speak louder dan birds.

I look out and I see 1000s of people wiv different hopes and different dreams - but it is important never to forget where u all came from - becoz black, white, brown or pakistani we all come from de same place - de punani.

The Departed

I watched The Departed last night with Ray. I thought it was not goingto finish til Thursday. But even if it was extremely long, not a secondwas I not eager to know what was going to happen next. The movie was unbelievable. There were several jaw-dropping twists that involvedlies, cover-ups, and loyalty.

Deception is always a good theme in movies. It's interesting. You don'tknow who the bad guy is, and even if you did, you can't deny that deepinside he's still a good man who just wants to survive. That's why I believe that in real life, there are no bad guys. While I may hatepeople who have hurt me, I don't forget that I've also hurt otherpeople, and whether or not I'm the kiss of death to someone depends onwhat I have done to him.

Oh well. This can go on and on forever like The Departed. I'm justhoping that more people see the goodness in me, because like everybodyelse (except for maybe Saddam Hussein), I don't go around hurtingpeople on purpose.

episodes

"No episode is a priori condemned to remain an episode forever, forevery event, no matter how trivial, conceals within itself thepossibility of sooner or later becoming the cause of other events andthus changing into a story or an adventure. Episodes are like landmines. The majority of them never explode, but the most unremarkable ofthem may someday turn into a story that will prove fateful to you." -Milan Kundera, Immortality

I agree with Kundera.
An episode is a casual encounter, a spur-of-the-moment rendezvouz, anincident that occurs and ends itself.
But upon ending, however abruptly, it can create a lifelong theme in someone's life.
It can leave behind a lot of unsaid words, unexpressed feelings,unanswered questions and unforgettable memories.
It can make or break you.

Episodes.
I smile when I recall several episodes in my life.
I don't think they ever go away just like that.
I have a library of all the episodes in my life.
When I listen to a certain song or watch a certain movie, or smell a familar scent, I retrieve an episode from my mind and remember everything about it.

Nostalgia.
I beleive it's a gift that episodes leave behind when they end.But nostalgia comes once in a blue moon.
It's a uninvited but welcome guest we met once in a place we are never going to visit again.
Well, I'm thankful for this gift.
It's one reason to smile, and think that you never really lose in life.
You just gain more and more reasons to smile.

Forward, always forward.

make yourself warm

Winter is rolling around.
Last night the breeze was lovely.
A few more weeks and it'll be COLD.
Cold is good.
You should go out, the front yard.
Wrap yourself in a shawl.
Help yourself to a cup of hot chocolate.
Watch the trees swaying against a backdrop of bright lights.
Drop your shoulders, breathe slowly.
Feet on the table, hands on your tummy.
Close your eyes.
Don't let loneliness freeze you.
Make yourself warm.

you really have no choice

You're so happy in one place at one time, and it goes on long enough for you to think that it could actually last.
And then one day it just stops, so abruptly that you don't have time to react, to know and fully understand everything.
And you think, shit. What do I do now?
And you search for answers. Why? Was it this, was it that?
And you just go crazy.
But look calm, because that's all you can do to save face.
And you desperately try to KNOW why this is happening, and you just don't.
And then you hate. Hate so bad you say the nastiest things.
And then you hurt. You stop searching, you just bow down and sob, hoping no one is looking.
And then you just become indifferent. So what? Who cares? Oh yeah?
And then the beautiful part. You wake up one morning and decide it's about time you make yourself happy.
And you do things that make you feel good.
You go ahead and dare yourself. And you get a high out of it.
You stop trying to fight the feeling, and that's the time you really don't give a damn about what others think.
Nothing else matters, really. Nothing else at all.

I asked my friend Jobee what I could do to stop liking someone.
She said: "Well, he really didn't have a choice but be liked by you."
Powerful words. And very true.

TODAY IS A HAPPY DAY

On my way to work I told myself that TODAY IS A HAPPY DAY.
That's going to be my mantra from now on, thanks to Jen.
It works for me.
It's not some unfathomable quote from a dead philosopher, but a universal wish.
Very simple, simpler than life itself.
And if I keep on telling myself that TODAY IS A HAPPY DAY every morning, nothing should drag me down.
Since imbibing that mantra I have done things that I wouldn't have normally done.
I invited someone out to dinner because I missed him.
Never mind if he was unavailable.
It was all good.
I was not disappointed. Well, a little. but I just let it go.
It just felt good to finally bring myself to do it, to do something about what's been bothering me.
The more I fought the feeling, the lonelier I got.
So in a way I freed myself from stress, the cause of wrinkles and cerebral aneurysm.
And with TODAY IS A HAPPY DAY, I made the most of my weekend.I got up from bed, took a shower, did my groceries with Fifi, and in the evening after the cancelled dinner I went out with my college friends.
Saturday, I watched the The Devil Wears Prada, which by the way was brilliant.
Meryl Streep was just fabulous.
She reminded me of my former boss, but she's a hundred times more fashionable and sophisticated.
And then I spent the rest of the night in a secret garden, where flowers bloomed and women found refuge.
YUCK THAT WAS A BIT POETIC SORRY.

Anyway there are no I HOPES or IFS or BUTS from now on.
TODAY IS A HAPPY DAY.
Like a nursery rhyme I chant in in my head, I count to ten, and flush everything down the toilet bowl.

This morning instead of listening to Song for the Leftovers, I chose to listen to Sunscreen.
Good way to jumpstart the day:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’97
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….
You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…