stewie griffin

I love Stewie Griffin from that cartoon show called Family Guy.
I haven’t watched a whole episode yet but thank God for YouTube I’ve had the chance to acquaint myself with this cute little bastard.
I noticed that every month I have a favorite character that makes my evenings happier.
First it was Dimitri Martin, thanks to Jobee Buenazedacruz. (Next to Jobee herself, of course.)
Then it was Ali G.
And now.
Stewie Griffin, my latest addiction.

If you haven’t heard of him, let me introduce him to you.
He is the baby in the Griffin family.
His parents are Peter, the fat retard and Lois, the doormat.
He has two siblings, one irrelevant chub and Meg, an ugly teenage.
There’s a dog in the home, Brian, who writes novels and drinks like a fish.
And then the baby. The ruthless intellectual who is capable of beating people up, bossing the whole family around, and eventually destroying mankind.

HERE HE IS TALKING TO HIS BIG SISTER ABOUT THEIR FATHER BEING RETARDED:
Meg (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again!

Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight.

…AND HERE HE IS MOCKING BRIAN ON THE NOVEL HE’S WORKING ON:
Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.

…AND HERE HE IS WITH BILL COSBY ON HIS SHOW:
Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."

…AND HERE HE IS WITH HIS BUTLER:
Butler (cuts eggs): Your eggs are cut sir.

Stewie: Cut my milk!

Butler: I can't sir, it's liquid.

Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it, and if you question me again I'll put you on diaper detail and I promise I won't make it easy for you.

…WITH HIS MOM BY THE POOL:
Lois Griffin: Come on Stewie, don't be afraid. It's just water, it's not gonna bite.

Stewie: Shut up! I know it's not going to bite, stupid! What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it you moron! It doesn't have to bite you!

I can go on and on but I won’t.

This is just a 5-minute break from work.

If you want more you can search him on YouTube.

You’ll love him like you love your other evil vices.