Ali G

Sorry, Ali G is my latest guilty pleasure.

[to a D.E.A. officer] Ali G: What is the different types of hasch out there? We all know that it's called the bionic, the bomb, the puff, the blow, the black, the herb, the sensie, the cronic, the sweet Mary Jane, the shit, Ganja, split, reefa, the bad, the buddha, the home grown, the ill, the maui-maui, the method, pot, lethal turbo, tie, shake, skunk, stress, whacky, weed, glaze, the boot, dimebag, Scooby Doo, bob, bogey, back yard boogie. But what is the other terms for it?

Boutros Boutros-Ghali: I am Boutros Boutros-Ghali / Put down your gun and listen to...

Ali G: Bob Marley.

Boutros Boutros-Ghali: ...Bob Marley!

Ali G: So, if this show teach you anything, it should teach you how to respek everyone: animals, children, bitches, spazmos, mingers, lezzers, fatty boombahs, and even gaylords. So, to all you lot watching this, but mainly to the normal people, respek. West side.

Ali G: But what harm has violence ever done?

Media analyst: Oh... death!

Ali G: Yeah, but apart from that.

Ali G: Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships.

Speech at Harvard:

Let's talk bout de future - your future. A lot of you iz probably worried bout employment. Unfortunately most of u WILL end up gettin jobs - especially now u iz got de burden of a degree.

You iz de elite, u will be tomorrow's captains of industry. Sittin infront of me is probly da next Bill Gates, Donald Trump...or even Ronald Mcdonald. And even if you can't all be Ronald himself, most of you iz probably McDonald's Team Leader material.

. . . look at de state of family today - girls is havin sex at younger ages, dere's an increase in absentee fathers and more and more people is havin affairs - but we shouldn't just concentrate on de good fings.Believing in something is easy. Actually doing something is harder. Actions speak louder dan birds.

I look out and I see 1000s of people wiv different hopes and different dreams - but it is important never to forget where u all came from - becoz black, white, brown or pakistani we all come from de same place - de punani.