Interesting.

September 5, 2011

Breakfast:

Lemon water

Half an apple

3 biscuits with cashew nuts

Lunch:

Buffet takeaway from Organic Foods & Cafe

- Beef patty with tomato and cheese, sauteed veggies, fish curry, half a cup brown rice

Snack:

2 Walnuts

1 raisin

1 apple

Dinner:

Inasal chicken breast

Sauteed veggies

2 spoonfuls of rice

1 piece chicken chicharon

1 peppermint tea

Water intake: At least 3.5 liters

Physical activity: Zero

I feel good though. That, minus the chicharon plus a 30-minute walk, would be the perfect day for me.

I don't feel heavy, guilty or depressed with what I allowed my body to take in today.

I am temporarily turning this into a food journal.

September 3, 2011

Breakfast:
Lemon water
2 Flaxseed chocolate chip cookies
Tamarind

Lunch:
6-inch Turkey breast sub - wheat bread, peppers, onions, olives, sweet onion sauce, no cheese
1 small pack Salted peanuts

Pre-dinner (WTF):
Tamarind
2 Flaxseed choc cookies

Dinner
Wine
Turkey, cranberry and brie sandwich (thanks Fifi!) - white bread, plastic cheese, lettuce and cucumber slices
A small piece of leftover Max's fried chicken
Peppermint tea

As you can see I had a very bad dinner last evening.
This will NOT be tolerated. By myself.

My Birthdays

Every year on my birthday I have so much fun and wish the day would never end.
There's so much laughter and food and singing and dancing and picture-taking!
My friends here really work hard leading up to the celebrations to make sure that my party turns out fabulous and more importantly, to make me feel loved.
I feel so blessed every year that I don't mind being older.
But at the back of my mind, I always have this fear that my party will bomb, or at least won't be as fun as the year before.
But I am always proved wrong, because every year it turns out to be more fun, more meaningful, more boozy and more ... fun!
So for now I am holding on to the memories of my last party until my next one rolls around.
Maybe it's time to produce my own concert on my next birthday.
It's my only chance to have one really. Remember, the world will end in December 2012?

Pinoy Table Manners

Oh my gosh, this is so true. He is so annoying but he's got all the quirks and mannerisms right.
And yes, I do everything he illustrates in the video, except eating banana and rice together.

Traditional Filipino Courtship.

I hope this still exists.
How sweet!

Tatay

Tatay, you will be missed.

Thank you for every thing you have done to make life better for us.

For teaching Mama how to drive.

For picking up Daniella, Carlo and me from school.

For treating my wound when I got bitten by April the crazy dog.

For cooking talbos ng kamote for Daniella.

For watching Jesus Christ Superstar with us.

For caring for Carlo's dog.

For running errands for all of us.

For always taking every thing in stride.

And most of all, thank you reuniting your children, who had not been okay before you passed away. No, we are not mourning your death, but celebrating a life lived meaningfully, and a honoring a selfless man who possessed nothing but lived as if he had everything he needed in life.

I love you Tatay.

No. No. No.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDakFfLQDF4&feature=fvwrel

The 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge

I feel great!
Fifi and I agreed to take on the 30-day at the only Bikram yoga studio in Dubai.
We've been doing Bikram for over 2 years, but never regularly.
So in a way this is going to be a first for us.
Thirty straight days of non stop stretching, flexing, breathing, intense movement and sweating.
It is going to be great.
Last evening I already felt the difference in my body - all stretched out, energized, detoxified and refreshed.
My acne subsided a little bit, and I imagine by the end of the month it's going to feel and look a lot better.
This is going to be super awesome.
What a great way to take advantage of Ramadan timings!

A very touching song.

Haha. Nerd is the new hunk. Why not.

I feel better after reading all those acne-related forums online.

It turns out, a lot of people get cystic acne after quitting smoking.

It's the body's way of detoxifying and getting it used to a nicotine-free system.

I am happy that I finally quit. It has been more than a month and I feel fine.

I don't crave it, and I am pretty sure I will forever be against it.

Now back to my acne. I am trying to ignore the fact that it is getting severe.

I am on medication and I am positive that I will see miraculous results in a month or two, but for now it is really hard to look at my face in the mirror and say "You are beautiful".

I have always been very confident, and when I go out I always think that acne doesn't exist.

But there are times like today when it really gets to me and I just really want to disappear, and resurface when my face is clear again.

Oh well. Patience is a virtue.

It took a great deal of patience to kick the bad habit.

A little more to wait for my skin to heal is nothing.

Bow.

Unlike former Prez GMA whose State of the Nation Addresses focused on the economy and eradicating poverty, PNoy started his with a list of corruption cases and extra judicial killings that are on their way to seeing the court's verdict. That's his thing. Okay I like that.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching this in film class.
It was described as a shining example of a poorly made movie.
The director intended to make it extra crappy by failing to maintain continuity in certain scenes, making some of the events illogical, unacceptable and simply too gross for anyone's viewing.
But he made trannies and fatties fashionable and irresistibly funny.
I wish I had a copy of this! Would be fun to see again.

OD-ing on Vitamin A....

...is NOT funny.
it is supposed to get rid of my acne.
It worked for me in the past and I am trying it again.
Okay.
I understand that it will get worse before it clears up.
I was warned of the side effects like chapped lips and dehydration.
Lip balm? Check. Water? Check.
Overall, everything's going swimmingly, except that I think I am going blind.
I sometimes think I'm blinking too long - longer than the usual split-second eyelash batting I do - only to realize that my eyes are open and I cannot see a thing for a second or two.
And then my vision comes back in a snap.
Weird.
I also read somewhere that the harsher side effects include hallucination, depression and in some cases, suicidal tendencies.
Oh retinoids.
Love you and hate you like a schizo on acne meds.

Paul Scheer still cracks me up

I've been awake since 3 AM and nothing could make me go back to sleep.

But in the three hours that I have been up, I've accomplished a lot of things, thanks to the world wide web.

I learned a few things, like light beer has fewer calories than a gin and tonic. Shame.

Applied ice on a big zit on my forehead for thirty minutes. Yay.

Talked to Mama on the phone to say hello.

Phoned my cousin Daniella to sort out some paperwork in Manila. Check.

And now I'm about to help myself to a hot cup of cocoa before jumping in the pool.

And then my day starts. :)

I quit smoking completely.

Cold turkey.

Woke up one day, didn't want to light another cigarette again.

I thought it would take one brave, life-changing gesture on my part.

But the way I decided to give up this bad habit was understated and sincere.

I have not even announced it.

Not that it's of importance to a lot of people.

But it is definitely a big deal to me and my friends.

I love myself and I plan to live a long, happy, healthy and meaningful life.

Amen.

I am so proud of my sister Zoe for passing the tryouts for Company of 1, a prestigious dance group in her school!
It's only her first month in college and she is already making waves - making lots of friends, studying hard, and pursuing her passion for dancing.
Now I know that Mama and I did a great job raising her.
Bonus: she is also as pretty as her big sister and mom.
Are we perfect or what???
She's my Kendall Jenner. You know it!

Forget potions.

Dr. Ibrahim is the best dermatologist in the world.

Very reassuring, calm and prescribes nothing but the best.

Brunch with the girls!

This weekend took a LOT out of me.

But can't complain because it was awesome!

Here are some pictures from out Friday brunch.

It was super fun pigging out and goofing around with my sisters!

What my handwriting says about me...

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a social person who likes to talk and meet others.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

Best Overnight Zit Zappers

1. Bioessence Acne Lotion. This can be bought in the Philippines for a little over a hundred pesos, and it lasts for over six months. It's best applied on blackheads that tend to become full-blown zits. It contains salicylic acid and is tinted, so it can be applied under make up. I personally don't use it during the day, because it smells funny. But apply it in the evening and you will wake up less oily.

2. Fucidin H. It is an antibacterial cream and it was recommended by my dermatologist, for HUGE pus-filled pimples. Zits multiply because the bacteria is spread around the face, so it is important to stop stupidly touching your face all the time to check if your zits have vanished. Fucidin comes in gel or cream form. I personally like gel because it stays on my face longer, therefore more product is absorbed overnight. I woke up today to find the zit on my forehead less noticeable. Yay!

3. Ice. Oh my gosh, ice is the best! For really red zits that tend to get bigger during the day, ice application is the solution. Wrap a cube in a paper towel and dab it on the spot. Don't press hard, just enough to numb that sonuvagun. Do that for ten minutes, and do the whole thing at least twice a day.

And for scars, use papaya soap or hydroquinone cream. But use them sparingly. We girls tend to be impatient and put a sh*tload of product on our faces. That is NOT cool. Your face will saga and get all wrinkly fast if you do that. Moderately apply stuff on your face.

And also control your drinking. Make sure you drink lots of water to keep you hydrated. Especially in humid weather. I think that's how I got my gigantic zit on my forehead this week.

Had fun!
Spent lunch time at home stuffing my face with siopao and chips.
I also mock-proposed to Fifi by going down on one knee and offering her a piece of cake that looked exactly like a Tiffany blue box.
It was tear-jerking. In many ways.
Anyway Fifi and I collaborated on another rap song.
She's my Dr. Dre/Timbaland in a lot of ways, and I'm her Eminem/50 Cent.
Actually we borrowed Leslie Knope's rendition of a famous early 90s rap song.
Well, famous if you were a Fresh Prince fan.
We are not dorks, but we couldn't think of anything else to do.
Will post it here soon :)
Oh my gosh multi-media savvy beats being president any day!

I am so happy today!

The big zit smack in the middle of my forehead is a speck of dirt in my life.

That's the power of optimism and morning workouts.

Also I think my thighs are getting smaller.

I have been waking up extra early lately to go for a swim in the morning and talk to my mom on the phone. It feels great!
I get a lot done before 9 AM, like go to the bank or make my morning warm water and lemon concoction and sip it slowly.
I also have a lot of time to clear my mind before starting another long day at work.
It is so great to be an early bird for a change!
I've been a late sleeper for so long, maybe a decade!
And to wake up at 630 in the morning to jump in the pool is a big achievement for me!
Some people climb Mt. Everest, some decide to end their drug addiction, some get all of their teeth repaired, and I decide to wake up three hours earlier than my usual wake up time.
Not bad.

Michelle Phan's rice water toner and cotton mask

I love this video! Yes I will try this. Don't eat rice. Put it on your face, biotches!

Handsome Men's Club

Oh my gosh!
How handsome are the men in the Handsome Men's Club?
I'm surprised the studio didn't explode when they all got together.
Okay, my top three picks are:

Rob Lowe
Lenny Kravitz
John Kasinski

World of 30

Check this out! This group I am working with posted the short video I made about two girls who share what they love about their age. Both are based in Dubai and turning 30 this year, and are looking forward to a lot of things after hitting the big Three-Oh. More importantly, they are happy!

World of 30 is a group dedicated to women who are either approaching their 30s, have turned 30, or are in their early 30s. The founders are beautiful, creative, and determined to reach out to women all over the world to address their concerns that come with their age.

I am so happy they found me! :)

They say that God will never give you a challenge that you cannot overcome.

Today, I have accepted a very big one, and it is about to change my life.

This will bring my self-respect to greater heights and make my family happier than ever.

Most importantly, it will make me worthy to be God's beautiful child.

All for Your glory, God. Amen.

+

=

Ok my video post was NOT successful at all.

For some reason the audio was not in synch with the video.

So my mouth is moving weirdly and this could distract the viewer.

Whatevah.

What up! I just found out you could post videos on this thing. How low-tech am I?

Ok so here's a video I made in February.

I wrote this song in high school. It's about... good guess. A boy.

He's a drummer and I never got the chance to know him because I was too shy to approach him.

Also he was part of a big band back home. Underground superstar status.

So there.

And how stupid do I look in the beginning and between verses?

Hahaha.

Enjoy!

I cannot stand watching this performance by Adele.
It's such a very good, very emotional, very precise account of every failed love story.
It drags the corners of my mouth down to the ground.
She is so good.

Bedtime Schmedtime

I am tempted by lots of C's this week. Panic!

Chocolate, Cosmos and carbs!

Yikes!

Must ask other C's to salvage this bovine lifestyle.

Vitamic C, costumes (wink) and Christian living!

Corny, cheesy, completely useless information.

I realized that one way I could help my Philippines is by supporting the Reproductive Health Bill.
It hit me when I had a conversation with a 23-year old Belgian who seemed to have vast intimate knowledge of what's going on in my uterus.
And I took no offense because I kind of had an idea why.
The Belgians have one of the best educational systems in the world.
The moment they hit puberty, their teachers are obliged to tell them what hormones do to you, and how they change your body.
As a result, they are smart enough to know when and when not to fool around.
They also know what to do when they do fool around.
And they now what's going on in their bodies.
And so the Belgians are able to plan their lives - when to settle down, have babies and juggle family life with career.
So the Kingdom of Belgium sits comfortably somewhere in Western Europe, with a population of over 10 million and a GDP of $466 billion.
The government does not need to worry about hungry mouths to feed, homeless families, and what the church will say about family planning.
Belgium is also a predominantly Roman Catholic nation, just like the Philippines.
I am no genius and have not conducted a study on whether the RH Bill will improve our lives and consequently the Philippine economy, but maybe it will.
Squeeze it into the curriculum.
Welcome questions.
Give people options.
We hear of families having too many babies because they couldn't afford condoms or pills, so they kill their babies or make them work before they could even go to school.
They're lucky if they could.
So what's wrong with a few free condoms being passed around the slums?
What's wrong with having options other than despair and death?
Let's give RH a shot.
Come one people.
We gave Erap a shot.
We will never ever be Belgium, but we can be a better, less hungry, less ignorant, happier Philippines.
Now where to start.

forward, always forward: The Kardashians are back!

forward, always forward: The Kardashians are back!

The Kardashians are back!

Kris and Kim at Sonya's Garden, Tagaytay

Khloe, Kim and Kourtney with Gab at Dubai WTC

Kim and Kris at Sonya's Garden

Kourtney, Kris and Khloe performing at Kim's birthday party

Kim, Kourtney and Khloe at Yas Island, Abu Dhabi

Kourtney's karaoke birthday party

Kourtney, Khloe, Kim and Kris at Comedy Junction

Kim and Khloe hanging out at a coffee shop

7 Female Celebs Who Got Plastic Surgery For “Medical Reasons”

7 Female Celebs Who Got Plastic Surgery For “Medical Reasons”

I wish there was a thigh-and-hip equivalent of a deviated septum.

I know that obsession over losing weight is not a unique trait.

Hundreds of girls shrink, get ill and even die from it.

But I am still learning how I as an individual developed it.

It's become embedded in my soul that I don't see it as a burden.

In fact, it is integral to my existence.

If within a month I don't shed unwanted fat, I panic and sometimes think my life is ruined.

But that is okay, because more often than not, I always do.

When I don't, I find a way to do so.

And the control I gain over how I am supposed to look and what the weighing scale should say is intoxicating, like falling in love or going on a really nice holiday.

Ok, at least I know where to start: control.

Control is synonymous for Leo.

Leos like being on top, whether it is of a situation or a nice young man.

They thrive in knowing that they are able to manipulate something or someone effortlessly that in the end, they are seen as powerful yet beautiful.

That is exactly how I feel and what I become when I lose a kilo, resist a cookie, or burn 900 calories in 90 minutes doing Bikram yoga.

So why do I feel the urge to control my weight?

I am generally a person who needs more patience.

And while it takes time to achieve my biggest goals in life, body weight is such an easy thing to play with.

Bikini season in a couple of weeks? No problem.

I can quit chocolate, drink a gazillion cups of green tea, walk a mile or two every day, and purchase every weight loss supplement in the market.

And then I am not tubby anymore.

And then I am happy.

Quick weight loss quenches my thirst for things to happen instantly.

Why did I grow up not being patient?

Because it was absolutely a no-no for my mother.

I am being completely neutral about this.

When I was a kid I thought my mom was ruthless and unbelievably impatient.

But as I grew up I learned that sometimes, patience is an excuse to not move a muscle and trigger activity in one's life.

In short, impatience makes me do stuff.

And I do stuff.

Wow sometimes I just go on and on about something and I totally lose my point and become sleepy.

Good night!

What is up with people who do NOT let me finish talking, only to either repeat what I was going to say, or make a really stupid point?
Along with deceiving a woman's heart, it should be illegal, Shakira.
I have developed this indispensable skill of standing straight and speaking without stuttering and looking down, and it is hard for me to maintain for years.
And it's hard for me to maintain that swag every time a douchelord interrupts me.
Good thing there is that breathe-and-count-to-ten technique, or prayers.

How incredible is life?
Seriously.
I have not had time to think about it lately, but when I do get a minute or two, like now, I make it a point to ponder events in my life lately, and it is simply awesome.
When a struggle ends, another starts.
And as we all know a struggle is not an end in itself.
Struggles make us stronger, wiser, happier in the long run.
But we can only take so much at once, and so we are given one at a time.
I am so happy that my mom is recovering fast and her doctor has reduced her meds.
It is truly good news for the whole family.
And right now we have something else - equally big and life-changing - to think about.
And it is a challenge I am willing to take on.
I am very excited because my family and I are working as a team again.
The fact that I am miles away is not even important.
We are so awesome.
I love it!

I am in love with Blaine even though he is gay.

Rebecca Gonzales Zalamea is my mother.

Call her Becky for short.

She had me when she was barely 18.

So she was this tiny 18-year-old mom in the early 80's.

After finishing college, she started to work.

Every day she would commute from Quezon City to Manila, where she worked as a designer.

Every day she would work hard and go home to greet me and prepare dinner.

She worked to buy my milk, clothes, pay our bills, send me to good schools, pay for my swimming and ballet and speech classes, pay for our weekend holidays with our aunts and cousins, and give me some money to buy food in the school cafeteria.

She taught me to pray and we walked to church together every Sunday.

She was not one to show weakness.

Rest and solitude were for losers.

She kept working even when she was pregnant with little Zoe.

She worked through the most turbulent times of her life, and worked her way up until she was not longer a mere employee but an indispensable figure in her firm.

She established her own line of clothing.

She put up her own business.

Everything we ate, used and enjoyed were from the fruits of her labor.

I always thought she worked really hard.

She would take a vacation once in a few years.

She loved the States and Hongkong.

Straight from the plane, she would make sure we were good girls, and go back to work.

I cried to her a lot of times and she didn't like it.

I didn't like it either.

I wanted to be strong for her and I wanted her to see that I took after her when it came to possessing strength and soldiering on in the face of adversity.

And then the daily grind stopped this year.

She took a minute to rest and catch her breath.

She is regaining her strength and can't wait to get back on track.

That's my Mama.

I've been witnessing her tireless and selfless efforts to keep our family intact for 28 years.

Many people tell me that they admire my mother's resilience, and that they wish they could be like her.

Well, it hasn't been easy to get to where she is.

It took a lot of twists and turns.

But at present, we have never been happier.

You are an amazing mother, Mama.

You deserve the world.

I love you.

This is the week of a LOT of Fs - fatigue, fun, friends, frivolous frolicking, fat figures, fading foundation, feces, favors, fixations, fiends and family.
And I cannot explain each one of em.

Housewarming Party Guest Wish List

ok i was so bored i played a game in my head.

what if my friends and i had lots of money but we could only use it to pay for good company?

and so my housewarming party guest wish list idea was born.

Zeena's Guests:

1. Zach Galifianakis. My favorite person at the moment. "If a foot could fart..."

2. Aziz Ansari. Tom Haverford is a close second, thanks to www.tomhaverfoods.com

3. Jim Balsillie. Please give me a new BlackBerry and a PlayBook. And I will rest my case.

Fifi's Guests:

1-5. The hosts of TV5's Juicy. They MUST sing the Blind Items jingle because it tickles Fifi.

Momzi's Guests:

1. A lover. Nuff said.

2. A new boss. Word.

3. Our trusted dermatologist. Good luck getting out of the party place alive.

I know I tend to overuse the word "literally", but right now, I'm not kidding, there are literally hundreds of things happening at the moment - in me, around me, concerning me, concerning the people around me, and they can all be too much to handle. I am only one tiny brown girl. And while not entirely empty, my brain cannot cope with things that all need to be thought through and decided upon at once.

A lot of people around me seem to think they know better.

I don't, but neither do they.

It is just sad when they are arrogant, negative and inconsiderate.

But in the spirit of Easter, may they finally obtain the knowledge they thought they had.

Google Me

I just discovered that if you googled me, all my Tweets, blog posts, stand up comedy videos, idly written comments on various websites and profile on all networking sites turn up - all in between my online resume, work videos and sites that mention my work.

I am very careful when writing something which is not work-related online, but my opinions and story-telling are too much information for potential employers.

And I have not idea how to clean up my act on the world wide web. Apparently typing and clicking are not the only skills one has to have in order to use the web properly.

Sorry Mike Sorrentino, but this is The Situation.

I realized that since finding this out, I've become more cautious when expressing my thoughts and insights on any website, even this precious blog of mine. If I eventually learned to edit my Google results, I would be faced with a dilemma: do I really want to hide my blog from people? Nobody reads it at the moment but that is not the point. Do I want my Tweets to be read only by my followers? Most of them are US-based companies selling random stuff, but again that is not the point.

It would be horrible to worry about it all night. Well I don't have to, thanks to Sleep N Restore. Melatonin and Valerian will help me sleep like a baby in 5, 4, 3...

I am not a loser, but this morning I went online to look for inspirational quotes that would inspire me to go to work today.
A short backgrounder: I have been restless since I landed in Dubai last week, and started trying a bunch of home remedies and herbal pills to keep my stress levels down and help me go to sleep.
My efforts are not entirely futile, but I seem to be tiring myself more looking for more remedies to feel better and better.
It was becoming a pointless snowball of temporary cures to a messy mind.
So I tried another method.
Let's have a go at this Zen thing.
So I start by going online (dur... how do we always start something?) and these words made a HUGE difference to my day.
If they make you feel a little better, good.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
Henry David Thoreau

The only journey is the journey within.
Rainer Maria Rilke

We are either progressing or retrograding all the while; there is no such thing as remaining stationary in this life.
James Freeman Clarke

Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and good things will be yours.
Swedish Proverb

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one's horse when he is leaping.
Thomas Hood

Quarter life crisis visited me late.

Too late, in fact.

I am 28. I have no business worrying about what to do with my life.

I should have had that cheap insane moment ten years ago.

But there was no way I could slam the door in its face.

It came uninvited, and if I didn't deal with it, it was going to sleep over.

Jerk.

So I pondered.

Tried to think like a poet/the Dalai Lama/Maya Angelou and struggled to find words to console myself.

Needless to say, QLC left a gaping hole in my brain and I could not think of anything good to tell myself.

What a bummer.

Not even little miss perfect Kim Kardashian inspired me.

Tried to smile but ended up smirking at the thought of smiling.

What was there to smile about?

I was a big lump of mess.

Until Cookie went online.

She saved me.

We talked, talked some more, and laughed.

I feel so much better knowing that on the other side of the world a friend understands exactly what I am going through.

And helps me cope too.

And encourages me to be positive, productive, grateful and resilient.

Now all I need is a warm bath, two sleeping pills and I am all set to bury this episode six feet underground.

If I wake up and it's still there, God will find a way to save me again.

I'm glad He sent Cookie tonight.

Amen.

"The Daily Stat: Mobile-Phone Purchases Reduce Tobacco Use in Philippines"

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2058946_2059124_2059119,00.html #ixzz1IurYdM3M

- a Tweet by Harvard Business Review

Okay, this makes Lucio Tan poorer and MVP richer.
But this also means that more people may get cancer from mobile phone radiation than from tobacco.
But if I had to choose, I would go for the phones.
At least they don't smell and they are actually a tool for dating, not a turn off.
I am one to talk.

Family first

I have spent a week and a half in Manila and I feel nothing but gratitude and happiness.

I am so glad to be able to witness my sister's graduation ceremonies and walk by her side as she ends a chapter in her life and begins a new one.

By doing this I've made two very important points that I hope she will never forget - I love her very much, and obtaining top notch education will take her places.

The day of my sister's graduation was also my mother's birthday.

On her special day and during my entire stay I made sure that I was able to serve her and show her how much I love her.

I cooked, shopped for clothes and waited on her.

I bought her favorite food and accompanied her to the hospital.

These are very small gestures, but these are the things I am capable of doing to make her happy.

My heart is filled with nothing but happiness and love, two things even the meanest, tallest, funkiest pair of shoes cannot replace.

Amen.

Interesting Dinner Date Rule - Very Helpful

5. If you have to use the powder room, just say, "Excuse me please." Or "Will you excuse me for just a moment?" Your date doesn’t need to be told that you’re off to evacuate your bowels.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/rules-for-a-dinner-date-2464185/

There's a lot to learn on the world wide web! Sigh. Thanks Internet!

This little girl from Winnipeg took YouTube by storm and actually got to sing with Lady Gaga on stage. She's Filipino by blood, and I associate myself with her because. Like millions of others back home do.

Crying in my head to Stevie Wonder songs.
Yes it's one of those crazy days.
I made a mistake of finishing all my self-imposed tasks at 4 PM.
Now it's Thursday, and with one foot out the door, I've had to improvise with some - or any - form of entertainment to keep me awake.

The painkillers are (pun intended) big downers and I am scared to close my eyes.
I've reapplied lipstick for the nth time today, so don't suggest that.
I also did some research, stretching and a lot of thinking about what to do with my appearance.
Sometimes I think I look like a monkey.
But just on really really bad days.

this is what i ought to do. now.

Second day staying at home with a lopsided face.

My lumpy cheek is so annoying.

I sometimes think I'm chewing, and then I realize it's only mouth ulcer.

What a gross thing to have, especially on days when I'm all fired up to work.

I am restless but doc won't allow me to go out.

A 90-minute yoga class won't harm me.

It's a detox thing, so why would it.

Unless some old guy farts in my face again.

If my mouth ulcer was flammable that would be the end of the only bikram yoga studio in Dubai.

my wisdom tooth is getting in the way of work.

i woke up yesterday morning and suddenly there was an extra gum flap forming around it.

my dentist calls it pericoronitis.

i call it the nemesis of botox.

it completely dragged my left cheek down.

and inflamed it - hopefully not beyond repair.

today was tiring: i had to pretend i was chewing all the time.

antibiotics, painkillers, topical shiznit, here we go again.

This is the only day of the week I feel like lazing about, but all these unfinished tasks won't allow me to.
I am swamped!
But it's totally okay because this morning I finished all the boring stuff.
Things that needed to be signed, fixed, paid for, ordered and ignored.
Healthy breakfast too.
So anyway I am faced with at least a dozen things I promised to do before the end of the week.
And that is at 7 PM today.
I have a few ideas on how to speed things up:

1. Think: work now, drink later.
2. My work is still so much better than an ass wiper.
3. I would feel awful if I didn't finish my work.
4. My weekend would be spent worrying about unfinished tasks.
5. I am paid to work. Dur. Thursday 10-7 does not belong to me. I am owned by my company and I must compensate them for giving me a chair and a computer.


OR... stop blogging and actually work!

The glass is still half full.
While other friends of mine are embarrassed by ALL their relatives on Facebook by posting either irrelevant, cheesy or unsolicited advise on their walls, only ONE of my relatives does that.
It's annoying, it's equivalent to death in the social media world, BUT there is always the delete button.

What?!

I knew it was going to be awesome but I didn't realize it was going to be such a huge deal.
Plus, he is such a nice guy.

Who pees in a lotion bottle while driving?

That is ridiculous. That is gross and uncivilized and no one should ever reduce a delicately-scented beauty product like that to a portable toilet.
And no one should treat a car seat as a urinal.

Or...

That is awesome.
If there is no nearby toilet and it's the only option left to release those evil toxins, then I'm all for it.
In your face, urinary tract infection.

If your family is prone to renal disease, your reaction would be the latter.

No doubt.

I had an interesting lunch.
Let's see.
A spoonful of peanut butter.
A cup of hot choc'lit.
Some fancy biscuits.
A handful of popcorn.
Spanish olives. They're the best.
Nachos.
Hotdog tidbits.
Lotsa nuts.
A mini sandwich.
Yogurt.
Cheeseseseseses.
There's a big party in my stomach.
Thanks, Gulfood.

No amount of Retinol, moisturizers, affirmation moments and denial can turn back the clock.

People don't say I look 18. No, not anymore.

They either say 22 or 24. Good enough I guess.

But that's only good enough for a few years.

I need a game plan.

I ruled out Botox and unemployment, so this is going to be tough.

Dear random chubby mom,

If you have to explain to a total stranger like me why you took ages inside that cubicle, then you're probably guilty of dropping a bomb in there.

If you walked away with your head held high, I would have respected you.

Too late.

Love,

Zeena

Validation is such a sweet word.
Whether you're getting it from a hotel's concierge to avoid exorbitant parking fees, or a stranger sent by God to give you a compliment just when your self-esteem is plummeting.
This is a good week.

Chek it out, check it out!

I feel like Nicki Minaj minus the slutty rapping and look-at-me-I'm-crazy hair.
I just exchanged six empty MAC containers for a brand new lip color.
Pink Nouveau.
My high school friend wore it at our reunion and I saw a number of cute girls wear it, and I just had to have it.
It is awesome on the lips.
Can't rap to match my lip color yet but working on it!

Another comedy gold discovered by Fifi.

Exciting week! I have not had the chance to have a proper night of sleep.

Ok let's see...

A new kidney for Mama.

Transplant over, bills paid.

She's back home, liking stuff on Facebook and keeping abreast of the whole showbiz scene in Manila.

Fifi and Zeena's visit to the Philippine Labor Office.

We finally got the chance to meet the two distressed maids we were sending home.

We managed to get some of the proceeds of our high school reunion and used it to buy a Dubai-Manila ticket for one of the Pinay housemaids that the labor office are giving shelter to.

And then Lye, Mae, Danters, Fifi and I recently sold old stuff at a flea market, which enabled us to buy another ticket.

So two happy girls going home.

It was truly a day of love.

And of course, pictures with shiny happy athletes at the tennis event.

And another one with Real Madrid's president.

And I lost a little weight.

Icing on the cake.

Miss you Zoe and Agnes!

I told my good friend Chris off for making a harmless comment about my sister's newly established enterprise. It was silly, really.

But I charged it to that time of the month and he was okay with it.

Okay. But it's true.

And that admission flooded the gates of truths that I had carefully hidden in my mind.

That was a nice release from my pointless desire to keep my reality from being discovered.

Sort of like a contrived mystery.

He's worth opening up to, I must say.

Brunch with Fifi

We were like stay-at-home moms who hadn't had time off since Christmas '03.

We dressed up and looked refined.

Took a cab to the hotel with sky-high expectations.

And didn't leave the place until we were numb from all the food, champagne and laughs.

And the massive sprinklers all over the place may have gotten us and our food a little wet, but they didn't succeed in dampening our spirits.

Sorry I'm so dramatic. Sorry to no one in particular.

And no poop jokes at the table, as far as I can remember.

But then again I never remember anything after brunch.

Hard to hate the dude when you know he's got game.

First he puts his junk in a box and gives it to his girl.

Then he acts all stupid on a boat.

And then he poops on his secretary's desk.

He may act like a douche, but it's hard to act like one when you're smart in real life.

That is why Andy Samberg is a genius.

Poor Aimee, her heart was broken by a douche graveyard shifter.
She must feel really bad. She didn't see it coming.
I did. Come on Aimee, give me a hundred push-ups and quit being a wuss.
We're going to celebrate all year round if your jean size drops an inch.
Motivated yet? :)

The latest songs on the radio get me through the day, but the big catch is they are looped in my brain. Possibly forever.

These black guys that sing about getting hoes and partying until they all die are the worst.

They keep me happily bouncing on Emirates Road, but once I reach the office, I can't think of anything else.

And then there are the party chicks like Pink and Katy Perry and Kesha.

They talk about loving forever and drinking until their glasses are empty and blowing up the place for fun. By the time I park I feel like a double gin and tonic.

BUT having said that, I am grateful for their existence.

If it weren't for them I would just be taking life seriously and maybe turn into a prick.

So thank you pop music, thank you pop singers, thank you pop culture for keeping me awake, alive and giving me just enough cheesiness to to keep me sane.

What the f

i live my life and (e)how!

Sometimes when I don't really feel like running my life, I let www.ehow.com do it for me.

Most of the time it does a great job. I can switch my brain off and still function as a human being.

I recommend these search phrases:

Hair color that suits you

How to not look sleepy

How to avoid flatulence

How to feel good

How to get a life

Me, only different

My actions this week have turned me into a completely different person.

Actually, a combination of people I know.

My obsession with chocolates has turned me into Kim Kardashian from the waist down.

Face-wise, I resemble a genetically-modified tomato, thanks to the super strong retinol cream Mama Becky gave me.

And from my neck to my mid-section, I could be either a boobless Sandra Bullock, or Wanda Sykes. Or Justin Bieber. I can't really tell.

My brain is turning into a big pile of nothing, thanks to a visiting friend of mine called insomnia.

I was looking up natural home remedies to simple beauty problems.

There was a site I came across and it was fantastic.

Vinegar to rinse the hair, olive oil to deep-condition it.

Petroleum jelly for the feet, to leave overnight.

Until it suggested that I put Preparation-H under my eyes to reduce the puffiness.

Ok, what's next, bathe in someone's breast milk?

Here's a treat

I cooked twice today.

Sue me fore being such an achiever.

Okay.

This morning I didn't want to wake my friend up, so I sneaked out to buy some ingredients.

An hour later, we were enjoying a fresh batch of vanilla cinnamon french toast and mushrooms sauteed in cayenne pepper.

So we lounged around like retired businessmen, Facebooking and watching The Lonely Island music videos while the drizzle took its time and flooded our neighborhood.

(Poor drainage, poor people.)

Come evening, I still had some energy left, which I spent grocery shopping and doing some magic in the kitchen.

While watching the awesomest Old Testament parody movie ever - Year One, starring Jack Black and Michael Cera - I effortlessly whipped up two to-die-for (there is NO room for modesty here) treats: French onion soup paired with baguette slices drowning in Gruyene nad parmesan cheese, and stir-fried orange beef with cashew nuts.

Cooking brings out the subservient Asian girl in me.

But I don't take comments lightly.

If you say that my culinary creation needs a bit more salt or reminds you of another dish, get ready to hear from a tiger (also from Asia).

I guess my defensiveness in the kitchen stems from the fact that I spent most of my womanhood trying to avoid cooking because I didn't want to disappoint myself or the people who would partake in my meals, and now, finally I am crawling out of my cave called Kitchiphobia (yes, I made that up, dork), so no one rain on my parade.

And I made it a point to tell everyone how I feel every single time I put on my imaginary apron.

And until now, not a single friend of mine has had anything bad to say about my salmon in grapefruit sauce, or my honey ginger chicken.

Go figure.

"you have to have a past colorful enough to look back at when you finally settle down" - Kat Canillas

pwede pwede!

I welcome today's good news.
A healthy kidney for Mama.
A profession of admiration.
A new song to hum to.
A renewed faith in the form of a big fat smile to the heavens.
Amen!

Feeling Gooood

	Unknown Artist - coco rosie/good friday .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Complete Womanhood

Last year I had my fill of sumptuous meals, thanks to people like Ladybug, Galo, Jen, Mhykie, and everyone else who cooked for me.
I enjoyed taking a whiff of an elaborate dish being prepared by a good friend, and looking over their shoulder to estimate the time left til eating time.
Being handed a plate and cutlery was like being told "you deserve my time and efforts, so here ya go, chew away".

Not this year.
This year I am going to return the favor. Wink.
Why? I love my friends and I want them to see me not as a mere parasite who eats off their kitchen, but someone who is actually capable of creating something beautiful that will nourish them and fill their stomachs and souls. I made that up just now thank you very much.

Also I realized that even though I have two ovaries and hundreds (if not thousands) of eggs, I wouldn't 100 per cent feel like a real woman if I didn't know how to cook. God knows how many envious stares I gave my friends last year for knowing what coriander or a sherry looked like, and also knowing what to do with them. I wanted to quickly learn, but there's no such thing. We learn everything in this life. So I needed to start fast. I promised to start fast. (If you are a feminist and ready to kill me, well boo ya! This is how I feel and feelings are never wrong.)

So I started cooking.
A two-course meal for two very understanding guests - Fifi and Dante.
I made Beautiful Salad - spinach leaves, mandarin oranges, dried strawberries, walnuts and honey, balsamic vinegar.
And for the main course, I made Salmon Steak in Grapefruit Sauce. Good for the heart and not at all bad for the wallet.

Because I got good reviews for that Friday lunch, I volunteered to do another one next weekend. So I guess it's another successful venture for me. And it might delight you to know that my cooking skills are now happily sitting next to my eggs on a bench called "complete womanhood".

Dear body,

Please stop expanding. It's not funny!

Love,

Zeena

Dear 23-year-old self,

Thank you.

For being stupidly impulsive and nodding yourself all the way to a big dump of trouble.
Because of your sick decision to sell out to the world.
I could not have done what you did. You're the bravest 23-year-old I know.
You have so many plans and some of them seem unattainable, but you'd rather be delusional than be convinced that something you want to happen is impossible.
A gigantic suitcase and a friend with an even more gigantic heart are with you, and they are all you need to survive.
You don't pity yourself and mourn your plight, but laugh at the kind of adventure you put yourself through.
I won't try to belittle what you have done for me by giving you a high-five or a tight hug.
I will try to relive you, my 23-year-old self.
It's the only way I can ever experience what you have, to may homage.
Bonus: your friends are here! They followed suit to pursue their own goals.
So you are awesome. And if you say I am too, I will be on my way to make it happen again.

Love,
Zeena

After a month-long holiday that kept me in the company of my family and friends and kept me busy with all kinds of gigs -- from taking care of Agnes our dog, to a pa-morningan at the karaoke bar, to a trip to the beach with my dearest friends -- and eating non-stop just because food was always available, I am here again on my belly in my Dubai bed that I share with Fifi, waiting for time to pass until it's time to shower and get ready to go to work, playing viral videos on YouTube to kill the possibility of total silence.

That is all I have to say. Happy 2011!