There is no doubt that I have so much self-love that I can found my own fan club, but sometimes it can be so lonely and the silence is just unbearable.
And I forgive myself for this, because it is true that I have been alone, except on evenings when my friends call me up and want to meet for coffee, or when Craig comes home and wants to talk about how stupid he is (of course that's his opinion og himself, not mine).
And I see no reason why I should not shamelessly publish my loneliness, because I am no different that most people on this planet.
Who in the world is completely happy?
Some people fool themselves by thinking they have everything they can ever ask for, and yet, when you look them in the eye, you don't exactly see sunshine, but a somber forced glow that they've been trying so hard to produce to make themselves believe that yes, they are ok with their lives and the way things are.
Sometimes I do escape loneliness, not to survive it but reinforce self-love.
I go out, write, learn new things, have conversations (that end up as friendly debates) with interesting people, and reading until I sleep.
And yes, these things make me happier, little by little.
Craig has been suggesting that I look for a man and just throw him away once I'm done with him, and I shook my head violently, knowing very well that although it's one of the many possible things to do in Dubai, I do not want it to be in my list of options.
So I guess it's still heavy petting and exchanging sweet nothings with the computer tonight, which has kept me company from the time I wake up until right before I head to bed.
Who knows, if it detects my persistence it might actually kiss me back.
"When you get into a tight place and it seems that you can't go on, hold on — for that's just the place and the time that the tide will turn." – Harriet Beecher Stowe
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