I've been reading Ignorance by Kundera and it's about two Czech immigrants who come to vist their motherland after 20 years.
I've always been apprehensive at the thought of going home again. I want everything to be exactly the same as when I left. But then again, Manila may have not changed at all, but I surely would have. A year in a different place is not a joke. But desperately, constantly, I've been trying to reconcile my lifestyle here with my attitude in Manila.
But I guess that's almost impossible.
I can just imagine. When I'm finally home again, I'll be trying to tell my friends about my life here, anecdotes and souvenirs and places I've been to and people I've met....
And they probably won't be as interested in those as they are in the fact that we're all together again. And that's ok, flattering even, that my friends should want to be with a friend who's not in the know anymore, who hasn't been around to witness the fun times the previous year.
But then again I want to tell them all about my adventure, how I've been, who I've been talking to, the friends I've gained, the people I've been with.
I want them to listen, to be with me in the moment, and just understand me by hearing every single detail.

Irena's friends made an effort to EVADE her stories about France, and they all just drank their beers merrily, clinking their beer mugs to celebrate her return.
But they have to accept Irena, everything abour her, the pluses and minuses in her life, the tough shit she's been through, and the happy times she's had.

I'm just really crossing my fingers that my friends will be understanding and eager to listen to my stories and I hope they have questions about Dubai and my job and my life here.
But since I'm not sure how they'll react to those, I thought of something to perhaps lessen my ancxiety and at the same time help them relate to the Zeena in Dubai, the OFW.
I'm going to film Dubai. My house, my friends here, my former office, the kitchen I cook in, the job I have right now, the places where I hang out and the places I'd like to visit, the people I've talked to.

And I can narrate there everything, I can laugh there, cry there, I don't know! Just try my best to make my dear friends feel me while I'm here.

Ok I'll borrow Bert's videocam tomorrow.