FRIENDLESSNESS

What does it mean to be truly independent?
I think at this point in my life, due to some circumstances,
I feel that I should be on my own literally, not caring whether I have company or not in doing things I like. I have been spending lots of time in coffee shops alone with my journal and pen, and it really helps to have a conversation with myself. I learned that it's really not so bad to be alone, think things over, assess the previous week and plan for the next week, and do better as I go along.
I also realized that independence is being okay with or without a constant companion, because when you don't consider anyone a permanent buffer, that's when you expect yourself to brave life on your own.
And I am doing just that. I think that since I've been here I've cared too much about other people and it's time I do things my way.
I can't expect them to look after me, and no they haven't been doing that, but I guess it's because they know that I am okay with or without them.
Well, guess what. I am.
I've also realized that friendship is not about being together every single day, but letting go and showing your true feelings, however harsh and extreme they are.
I'd always thought that it's not so bad to be there for someone, but when you get kicked in your face and you are simply being taken for granted, you just have to look after yourself and be the best person you can be, with or without a friend.

A true friend stabs you in the front -OscarWilde