Saturday, September 09, 2006

Several interesting signs you're dating a commitment phobic.
Get a load of this:

1.They usually have a history of short relationships and they may never have been married - there is often an excuse that they haven’t met the right woman, or they justify their history by saying they still have plenty of time to settle down as they can have children at any age. A favourite line is "someday".

2. They want a relationship but they also want freedom and space so they are often attracted to long distance relationships and busy independent women.

3. They are fast to move in on a woman they are attracted to, and they pursue ardently until they win the woman over.

4. These men are usually very affectionate and loving. This is because in their mind the relationship is not going to be long term, so they feel free to give affection and love, knowing it won’t be forever. It isn’t long though before they suddenly start rejecting the woman, by not ringing or not wanting to see her for days, or not including her in weekend arrangements etc. This is because they subtly want to give the woman the message that they don’t want a long term committed relationship.

5. Severe commitment phobics play the seduction/rejection game. They can’t make the decision to give totally to the relationship, but they can’t commit to walk away either. They feel trapped by both choices. They feel love for the woman when they don’t see her, but they want to run away when they become involved again.

6. They tend to treat the woman like a mistress rather than a real girlfriend.

7. They tend to limit the amount of time they spend with the women and treat her as a low priority.

8. They often choose women who are not the type of partner they are looking for, for example they may be much older, much younger, married, or they may have different interests. They use these differences as excuses to end relationships.

9. Severe commitment phobics avoid events or outings that may include the woman's family or friends.

10. They know an ongoing sexual relationship often leads to commitment so they choose to run when things start to head in that direction.

11. They like to feel in control and create time frames that suit them, often treating the woman like a puppet on a string.

12. When they get the feeling they need to run, their words and actions are full of mixed messages. They play mind games.

13. A commitment phobic won’t allow the relationship to grow and they have no intentions of ever doing so.

14. They can have a history of unavailability and inaccessibility .They can be hard to contact, and they are often unpredictable when it comes to returning phone calls. They can even avoid answering calls completely.

15. They lie, or they are evasive and secretive about where they are and what they are doing to create space.

16. They are often unreliable, late and sometimes they don’t turn up at all. They are like this with family and friends as well, although this is not the case in their working environment.

17. They are often unfaithful in relationships.

18. They can be overly committed to their work or to their children to avoid spending a lot of time with a woman.

19. They often choose to travel a lot for work, to play a lot of sport, or be involved in many projects to create distance.

20. These men know on some level that they are deceptive and cruel to women.

21. They usually end up behaving worse and worse, and they sabotage more and more because they want the woman to end the relationship as they feel too anxious and guilty to do so.

22. Severe commitment phobics can also suffer from claustrophobia and/or a personality disorder.

23. They deny being commitment phobics. They usually claim to not have had caused problems in their past relationships.

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