I want to be lean and mean and be a killing machine. Hehehe isn't that a line from a song? But I really do. I want to lose 10 more pounds and kick people's asses.

I don't know. I just don't like being fat.OK my body is OK, but my thighs...ooohhh one look at them and I think my life is ruined, I'm never going to succeed in anything I do. And for the first time in my life I am NOT exaggerating.

My giant thighs get in the way of EVERYTHING, really, and sometimes I think I don't have a career yet because of them. Hell, when I was grinding with everyone to the tune of My Humps, shaking my booty, they felt the dire need to shake too, like they were Apple D'Ap and Fergie! I punch them before I sleep at night, and wonder why I was chosen to possess possessed thighs that think they were given the power to rule my life.

I even wrote a letter to God, begging Him to please give my thighs to someone else and replace them with Kate Moss's. Hahaha that's funny. If I had Kate Moss's thighs I'd look like a popsicle. Well, all my life I've been giving people the impression that I just like cushioning my lower body, so any change is welcome, ridiculous or otherwise.

My thighs. I was so afraid to write about them with the fear of provoking them, and waking up in the morning to find out that they've grown bigger, so big each of them need a visa.

So please acknowledge my braveness, because this means so much more to me than defending the honor of my family. Ok maybe that was an exaggeration. I exaggerate almost 99 % of the time that I think every hyprobolic statement that comes out of my mouth equals an inch of flesh added to each of my thighs.

OK STOP IT ZEENA. Where was I? Yeah I'm brave. Talking about my thighs is harakiri to me. So yeah, I'm the defender of all women who resent their.....


THIGHS THIGHS THIGHS!