FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION?
When you show people how vulnerable you are in the hope of winning their affection, 90% of the time, that pretty much leads to a heartache. A bad one. That's why I resolved to hiding my feelings. Looking happy when inside I'm scared as hell; acting scared when really, I am more confident that ever. And it's very very tiring, but that's the only way I don't get hurt, shortchanged or toyed. I know, I know. When you like someone, tell him! Show the world! This might be your last day on earth and you should not waste a second. But who really wants to die looking stupid?

FACE IT
When I take a walk in the streets and observe people, I am particularly attentive towards younger women. Nineteen, twenty-year-olds who look fresher and sweeter than ever, not too old to get disillusioned or look like hags from worrying about finances and serious relationships, but not too young to get in the sack with male adults. Hmmm interesting. I often find myself wondering, if on the bus, I sat beside a younger woman, and a man was to look at us, would he think of me as old trash? Would he even glance at me? Tsk tsk. Whatever happened to banking on my youth? Where the hell is my youth? No, there is no way I can prevent growing old, unless I kill all women under 23, which is very very unlikely to happen. Maybe I can focus on my advantages, say, experience. Yes, my struggles and the lessons I have learned in life are incomparable. A cute face cannot compensate for naivite. Good. Never mind if looks and experience are two different things. There, I made myself feel better again.

LALALALALA
I've been sad the past couple of days. I have been listening to some of my favorite songs and they never fail to rise to the occasion. They kind of tell me how I feel, which is great, because I don't have to get lost in the middle of my emotions. I am NOT trying to sound profound here, but yeah they do that. Most of the time I find it really hard to determine what is upsetting me, and my tunes lead me to that direction.

"Where do we go? Nobody knows... I've gotta say I'm on my way down... God give me style and give me grace... God put a smile upon my face..."

"From time to time, do you guess what's really on my mind? Guess that "How you keeping now?"Means "Where are you sleeping now" ..."

"Sometimes I feel like I dont have a partner..Sometimes I feelLike my only friend...Is the city I live in the city of angels? Lonely as I am...Together we cry..."

The End.