i miss zoe

Yesterday I was chatting with my cousin Daniella, and I she was telling me about my sister Zoe, how she has grown to be such a beautiful lady. I told Daniella to try her best to teach Zoe to act like one, which I think she's very capable of. Because, I realized, I am not. I cannot talk to her everyday and observe her behavior and sit with her and tell her all about adolescence and the evils of it. Shit. That's a very crucial stage in a girl's life and more than anything, I want to guide Zoe and lead her to the right path. What is the right path? Simple. Do your homework, stay away from boys, always ask advise from Mama when you need it. But of course we didn't do these things when we were 12 or13. We wanted to be bad! We wanted to see how far we could go! And I am more than sure that Zoe feels that way.

I could always reply to her emails, if she only takes the time to email me first! I could call her from time to time if she would just tell me all about her day and not say goodbye after a minute. Why is she not opening up to me? Have we completely lost touch, or she just doesn't know how huge my role is in her adolescent life? Or maybe twenty-something older sisters who don't know much about how schoolgirls behave nowadays are just useless? Baduy?

I just really want her to be smart, maybe not in school, but in life at least.
I want her to always think of me and Mama and make us proud.
She's so much stronger than me emotionally, and I know that she'll never feel alone because she has all our love.

I miss Zoe!!!!