unreserved prose

Last night Guillaume visited me extra early, like 1 AM (Jeeesus). Global Village was quiet, as everyone planned to have an early night in preparation for work today, and so his small crepery had to close down a little earlier. He looked extra fine last night. We went to Crowne Plaza for mojitos and he told me stuff about his teenage years (which weren’t very long ago), and life in Europe. I realized that I still had a lot to learn about the world, and the information he volunteered, while not really useful, was interesting and welcome to my library of trivias.

I like making him pronounce French words, so I can feel like I’m in Paris and so I can secretly laugh at the nasal sounds of them. Take Elizabeth Arden for example. He pronounced it as Eleezabeth Arghhhhden, like he was about to spit, God forbid in my face. Very entertaining.

It’s certainly wise to be wary. But I don’t really know what I’m trying to be wise for. Some things in one’s life are fleeting, and Guillaume may be one of them in my life, but I really want to make the most of it and just go through the whole thing, and it is much better than thinking, “Ok get this over with. What do you want? Stay or scram.” That was me. That’s how I sounded before. Not very pleasant huh? And the thing about Guillaume, he makes an effort to spend time with me. Be with me. Even in unimaginable times. And he’s such a fun guy. He’s always walking around bumping into things and hugging me. And while we hugged I thanked him for the warmth his hug had given me, and he had to ruin the moment by asking what “hug” meant. But it’s ok. I like ruined moments. (Still dream eyed.)

I hope he’s all right and I know I can only hope and not demand or expect, but as long as he is there I will open my doors to him. It makes so much sense. And I am rationalizing my feelings again! But that’s a good sign, because it means I’ve taken off the sign on my forehead that said “Jaded Hag”.

Happiness is not a crime. And this man has never done anything to hurt me. Hallelujah! I am tempted to write another piece entitled “What if it ends tomorrow?”, but I’ve decided to get on with that one if and when it happens.

OK for the second time this gushing has GOT to stop.

Later maybe.