24

I cannot, for the life of me, believe that I am already twenty four years old.
What the hell had I been doing before I got this old?
Well I can only go back a year, and hopefully the past year had been meaningful and good for me.
Let's see.

1. I forced myself to find out if I had mean culinary skills, and well... I did! Actually it was wo weird. One day I came home from work very very tired, but for some reason, I went straight to the kitchen and decided I wanted to thaw the chicken and chop some onions and garlic. In less than an hour I made a really mean chicken dish that didn't have a name.

2. I tried to find out if I had the willpower to quit something, and I did. I quit a person, a person in my life that I had so much respect for, which I shouldn't have had. And I did, and that's such a big thing. Sometimes I am tempted to go back, but I remind myself that I must go forward, always forward. A step backward would mean defeat, no doubt about it.

3. Being away from my family and friends is something new to me. And I never imagined living without the convenience of having everyone around on a bad day, and still having them around in times of celebration. It's always been they who have been making me smile and laugh and joke and live life to the fullest! Now, without them, I love them more and more by the minute. And God knows how tight our hugs will be when I'm back.

4. Dating outside my race seemed really scary. The thought of someone not knowing any Pinoy joke, or not having the same etiquette and values was just too much for me. It was bad enough that I had to deal with men (don't ask. I just had to.), imagine how awful it would be to deal with men who may not understand you in so many levels. Well, I tried it and really, at the end of the day, there really wasn't much of a diference. Men are men.

5. Leaving my job. It was a fun fun job and the working environment was unbelievably happy. I had to leave Jel, and there's one thing you should know about us --- we just never separated. We were always together. I had to leave my officemates who came to be my closest friends, and I had to leave the creative position that I loved, despite a few assholes who made it shitty on hectic days. I remember WANTING to go to work, if only for the dance numbers and the yosi breaks and the fun fun fun creative meetings. But I guess that was enough time to build lasting friendships, and our work was just a tool to get us together. When I'm back, it'll still be the same, only I'm chubbier and they're more fun!

But so far I feel that I have not done enough, and I am getting impatient. I'm just dying to know what my life would be like in a few years. I just don't want to live a stagnant life. I don't want to be the envy of people; I just want to be happy. I was chatting with Randy this afternon and he reminded me to take it easy, to jus hope for the best and do everything I can to achieve my goals, and not try to listen to the ticking of the clock. Time is not running out. God has plans for me, and I jsut have to wait and see and watch in awe as He unfolds every single event that would lead me to what He wants me to be.

OK well, then.... no use having wrinkles over happily waiting for Him. No, I'm not whistling. I'm going back to work.