No, you don't want to be perfect.
People who think they're perfect just end up killing themselves.
Just live your imperfect life and see the beauty of that stain on your white shirt.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Last night I had my post-birthday dinner with Richard at a Mexican restaurant at the Jumeirah Beach Hotel. It was such a nice place, but it was even nicer of him to have a plan, because even if I was underdressed I wouldn't feel good if he took me to KFC.
Anyway he did NOT take me to KFC, so why did I have to write that?
So we had dinner at this place called Go West, for a sumptuous Tex Mex meal. I was expecting a bull ride until I realized that the bull was right across the table. Hehehe.
Of course there was a houseband that was supposed to play country music like Jambalaya (which they did), but we were surprised to hear them play Where Is the Love. Cowboys and Indians go hiphop once in a while, no problem.
It's weird because he might not even realize it, but to me, it's been the most meaningful exchange of insights that we had. I had questions that he answered properly, not without the corny jokes of course, but I liked his answers.
So after that huge dinner we walked awhile and talked some more and on the way to my place he was just very calm (=SLEEPY) and that was the end of a nice evening.
When I came home it wasn't the heavy stuff that we talked about that I retained in my mind. I actually remembered the random things, like he wants to adopt a cat (which freaked me out, because I never liked cats they never liked me), he hates cockroaches (I'm sure they hate him too?), and that he's travelling the whole September, so can I just join Billy in singing Wake Me Up When September Ends? Anyway it was a fun night all in all, and I'm thrilled that he encouraged me to write a book. That's probably a long time from now, but I've had some ideas for quite some time.
And surprisingly, I slept well last night. I didn't wake up at 3 in the morning or toss and turn. That's how I really knew that it was genuinely a nice evening with Richard.
Anyway he did NOT take me to KFC, so why did I have to write that?
So we had dinner at this place called Go West, for a sumptuous Tex Mex meal. I was expecting a bull ride until I realized that the bull was right across the table. Hehehe.
Of course there was a houseband that was supposed to play country music like Jambalaya (which they did), but we were surprised to hear them play Where Is the Love. Cowboys and Indians go hiphop once in a while, no problem.
It's weird because he might not even realize it, but to me, it's been the most meaningful exchange of insights that we had. I had questions that he answered properly, not without the corny jokes of course, but I liked his answers.
So after that huge dinner we walked awhile and talked some more and on the way to my place he was just very calm (=SLEEPY) and that was the end of a nice evening.
When I came home it wasn't the heavy stuff that we talked about that I retained in my mind. I actually remembered the random things, like he wants to adopt a cat (which freaked me out, because I never liked cats they never liked me), he hates cockroaches (I'm sure they hate him too?), and that he's travelling the whole September, so can I just join Billy in singing Wake Me Up When September Ends? Anyway it was a fun night all in all, and I'm thrilled that he encouraged me to write a book. That's probably a long time from now, but I've had some ideas for quite some time.
And surprisingly, I slept well last night. I didn't wake up at 3 in the morning or toss and turn. That's how I really knew that it was genuinely a nice evening with Richard.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
YES
It's never enough to make her say yes.
You have to make sure that before you pursue her,
you yourself must say yes first.
Yes to the consequences of your decision,
yes to the responsibilities that come with it,
yes to her, whether her answer is yes or no.
Yes to the people surrounding her,
yes to the no's and maybe's of other people,
yes to a new life that's sure to be better once you say yes.
Yes to the world, the girl has come!
Yes, her yes is just a yes until you say yes to yourself.
You have to make sure that before you pursue her,
you yourself must say yes first.
Yes to the consequences of your decision,
yes to the responsibilities that come with it,
yes to her, whether her answer is yes or no.
Yes to the people surrounding her,
yes to the no's and maybe's of other people,
yes to a new life that's sure to be better once you say yes.
Yes to the world, the girl has come!
Yes, her yes is just a yes until you say yes to yourself.
my dear friend pachy
I just read Pachy's blog and saw my name on it.
She published three senseless notes that I wrote her in fourth year high school, when I was infatuated with an Atenean, who I recently realized looks like Edd from Ed, Edd and Eddy.
I don't know if I can sue her for publishing that and letting all her Friendsters read it, because it makes me look like a dud, but I'm really looking forward to publishing something she will NEVER forget . . . oh no, not in this lifetime.
Ok for starters I remember her inviting everyone to go to McDonald's Katipunan, all fourteen of us, to share a McFlurry, because "girls just wanna have fun". WELL . . . I regret to inform Cjay, Dianne, Pia, Louann and the rest of our classmates who went to McDonald's that day for gossip and laughter that Pachy was actually waiting for Mike Santos. He was supposed to go there after class I think. That was roughly seven years ago, but I can still remember Pachy's excited face --- the sort of face that tried to HIDE the excitement, but it showed anyway, and because she was trying to suppress it, it looked a little more ridiculous than the normal excited face.
Also, she used to contemplate going to the prom or grad ball with Mike, which at that time was the same as getting married to Mike. And Mike, that lucky guy who had ALWAYS worn his oversized collared checkered shirt and his velvet loafers with white socks, was just so happy that someone appreciated him, rain or shine, no matter his fashion sense.
And let's not forget the nights she cried whenever her dreamboy was linked to another girl.
But yeah that was almost a decade ago and I heard Pachy's now a registered nurse, and I assumed her course had helped her treat herself and get rid of MikeSantositis (CORNY SORRY). And of course the reason she is not going back to that Atenean is because she is happily engaged to her Lasallean jowa JB. She looks very happy now, no doubt about it! Here's proof:
She published three senseless notes that I wrote her in fourth year high school, when I was infatuated with an Atenean, who I recently realized looks like Edd from Ed, Edd and Eddy.
I don't know if I can sue her for publishing that and letting all her Friendsters read it, because it makes me look like a dud, but I'm really looking forward to publishing something she will NEVER forget . . . oh no, not in this lifetime.
Ok for starters I remember her inviting everyone to go to McDonald's Katipunan, all fourteen of us, to share a McFlurry, because "girls just wanna have fun". WELL . . . I regret to inform Cjay, Dianne, Pia, Louann and the rest of our classmates who went to McDonald's that day for gossip and laughter that Pachy was actually waiting for Mike Santos. He was supposed to go there after class I think. That was roughly seven years ago, but I can still remember Pachy's excited face --- the sort of face that tried to HIDE the excitement, but it showed anyway, and because she was trying to suppress it, it looked a little more ridiculous than the normal excited face.
Also, she used to contemplate going to the prom or grad ball with Mike, which at that time was the same as getting married to Mike. And Mike, that lucky guy who had ALWAYS worn his oversized collared checkered shirt and his velvet loafers with white socks, was just so happy that someone appreciated him, rain or shine, no matter his fashion sense.
And let's not forget the nights she cried whenever her dreamboy was linked to another girl.
But yeah that was almost a decade ago and I heard Pachy's now a registered nurse, and I assumed her course had helped her treat herself and get rid of MikeSantositis (CORNY SORRY). And of course the reason she is not going back to that Atenean is because she is happily engaged to her Lasallean jowa JB. She looks very happy now, no doubt about it! Here's proof:
Monday, August 28, 2006
hey frontliner
if you're really that brave
come out of that box
and give me what it takes
to calm me and shut me up
because i'm nagging myself
could you be the scent
i'm longing to smell?
i was hostile
but i was just scared
typical story
claiming to be rare
so if you shoot once
and miss the target
shoot me again
and i'll be sure to catch it
no i'm not really complicated
i'm not really profound
i'm one and a half
of a whole i just found
i'm just a second away
from that beautiful place
where we're supposed to meet
oh frontliner
i asked the rest to retreat
so won't you pull that trigger
as i get on my feet?
if you're really that brave
come out of that box
and give me what it takes
to calm me and shut me up
because i'm nagging myself
could you be the scent
i'm longing to smell?
i was hostile
but i was just scared
typical story
claiming to be rare
so if you shoot once
and miss the target
shoot me again
and i'll be sure to catch it
no i'm not really complicated
i'm not really profound
i'm one and a half
of a whole i just found
i'm just a second away
from that beautiful place
where we're supposed to meet
oh frontliner
i asked the rest to retreat
so won't you pull that trigger
as i get on my feet?
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
– Andy Warhol
I totally agree with that.
So who changed things?
Who declared that Marilyn's a lardass?
I could be today's Monroe (Marilyn, not Matt, thank you) . . .
. . . if some people didn't suddenly think healthy is fat.
– Andy Warhol
I totally agree with that.So who changed things?
Who declared that Marilyn's a lardass?
I could be today's Monroe (Marilyn, not Matt, thank you) . . .
. . . if some people didn't suddenly think healthy is fat.
Making Out by No Doubt
I'm starting to love No Doubt's Rock Steady album. I was so reluctant to listen to it, but exploring Colin's iPod made me. All the songs are really good, and there's one fun song I really like now...
Yeah...
I'm on the second floor with a lock on my door
I'm looking at a picture of your face
The last time I looked you were looking really good
But somehow pictures fade
Then we're on the phone and we're all alone
But that just ain't good enough
I go around the world to see your face
'Cause this just ain't good enough
So I'm just kicking it
I'm counting the days
I hardly can wait
For us to hang out
I'm really missing it
In so many ways
I anticipate us making out
(Here comes another one)
Sip my morning tea but you're not next to me
Here goes another day
I'm driving in my car
I wonder how you are
When our favorite music plays
And there are flowers above to my surprise
But that just ain't good enough
And I got the note
It gave me hope
But that just ain't good enough
So I'm just kicking it
I'm counting the days
I hardly can wait
For us to hang out
I'm really missing it in so many ways
I anticipate us making out
Yeah...
Ooh oohh
Ooh oohh
Ooh oohh
Soon you'll be here with me (making out...)
Soon you'll be right here with me
I'm with my friends 'till the night ends
But that just ain't good enough
And honestly you can trust me
But that just ain't good enough
So I'm just kicking it
I'm counting the days
I hardly can wait for us to hang out
I'm really missing it in so many ways
I anticipate us making out
Yeah...
I'm on the second floor with a lock on my door
I'm looking at a picture of your face
The last time I looked you were looking really good
But somehow pictures fade
Then we're on the phone and we're all alone
But that just ain't good enough
I go around the world to see your face
'Cause this just ain't good enough
So I'm just kicking it
I'm counting the days
I hardly can wait
For us to hang out
I'm really missing it
In so many ways
I anticipate us making out
(Here comes another one)
Sip my morning tea but you're not next to me
Here goes another day
I'm driving in my car
I wonder how you are
When our favorite music plays
And there are flowers above to my surprise
But that just ain't good enough
And I got the note
It gave me hope
But that just ain't good enough
So I'm just kicking it
I'm counting the days
I hardly can wait
For us to hang out
I'm really missing it in so many ways
I anticipate us making out
Yeah...
Ooh oohh
Ooh oohh
Ooh oohh
Soon you'll be here with me (making out...)
Soon you'll be right here with me
I'm with my friends 'till the night ends
But that just ain't good enough
And honestly you can trust me
But that just ain't good enough
So I'm just kicking it
I'm counting the days
I hardly can wait for us to hang out
I'm really missing it in so many ways
I anticipate us making out
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Lately my highschool classmate and good friend Dianne Dominguez have been chatting and updating each other on our lives. I found out that she. a registered dentist, still has been having problems with what she really wants to do. she's in Canada now, and there's not much to do in Canada when you're not working or studying. And while she's still deciding on what to do, she's been hibernating at her aunt's house.
Aha. Even a professional, who at the start of college had some brilliant almost definite plans can be confused about her future. I thought this "indecisiveness" or should I say lack of options is only exclusively felt by media practitioners like me. Media is very broad --- you can be in TV, radio, advertising, events, what have you! It's because we mass communication graduates do not really have professional licences, therefore we can assume any position as long as it has to do with communications. The reason for not needing a licence is the very purpose or root of existence of this course --- freedom of speech. Journalism, broadacasting and so on and so forth are all tools for freely expressing one's self, or the truth, and a licence would just defeat this objective.
But after college I feel that no one else is defeated but us, products of the supposedly liberating experience of self-expression. And I feel so bad that I almost think it is completely OK to blame those people who drafted our curriculum for my fat ass. Yes, my fat ass. I took a job that doesn't do much for my communication skills, just sitting at my desk the whole time getting bigger by the minute, and I feel that I don't have any other choice. Where are the jobs?
Where are my skinny jeans?!
Aha. Even a professional, who at the start of college had some brilliant almost definite plans can be confused about her future. I thought this "indecisiveness" or should I say lack of options is only exclusively felt by media practitioners like me. Media is very broad --- you can be in TV, radio, advertising, events, what have you! It's because we mass communication graduates do not really have professional licences, therefore we can assume any position as long as it has to do with communications. The reason for not needing a licence is the very purpose or root of existence of this course --- freedom of speech. Journalism, broadacasting and so on and so forth are all tools for freely expressing one's self, or the truth, and a licence would just defeat this objective.
But after college I feel that no one else is defeated but us, products of the supposedly liberating experience of self-expression. And I feel so bad that I almost think it is completely OK to blame those people who drafted our curriculum for my fat ass. Yes, my fat ass. I took a job that doesn't do much for my communication skills, just sitting at my desk the whole time getting bigger by the minute, and I feel that I don't have any other choice. Where are the jobs?
Where are my skinny jeans?!
Saturday, August 26, 2006
I've NEVER had a decent sleep in Dubai.
Never.
I always find myself waking up in the middle of the night.
And when I sleep I can hear my snoring,
I can feel my drool,
I know that I need to pee,
and I know that I am dreaming.
How odd is that?
I miss my ratty pillows back home.
And I miss waking up in the morning
knowing that I have a million friends
I couldn't wait t hang out with.
Never.
I always find myself waking up in the middle of the night.
And when I sleep I can hear my snoring,
I can feel my drool,
I know that I need to pee,
and I know that I am dreaming.
How odd is that?
I miss my ratty pillows back home.
And I miss waking up in the morning
knowing that I have a million friends
I couldn't wait t hang out with.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
24
I cannot, for the life of me, believe that I am already twenty four years old.
What the hell had I been doing before I got this old?
Well I can only go back a year, and hopefully the past year had been meaningful and good for me.
Let's see.
1. I forced myself to find out if I had mean culinary skills, and well... I did! Actually it was wo weird. One day I came home from work very very tired, but for some reason, I went straight to the kitchen and decided I wanted to thaw the chicken and chop some onions and garlic. In less than an hour I made a really mean chicken dish that didn't have a name.
2. I tried to find out if I had the willpower to quit something, and I did. I quit a person, a person in my life that I had so much respect for, which I shouldn't have had. And I did, and that's such a big thing. Sometimes I am tempted to go back, but I remind myself that I must go forward, always forward. A step backward would mean defeat, no doubt about it.
3. Being away from my family and friends is something new to me. And I never imagined living without the convenience of having everyone around on a bad day, and still having them around in times of celebration. It's always been they who have been making me smile and laugh and joke and live life to the fullest! Now, without them, I love them more and more by the minute. And God knows how tight our hugs will be when I'm back.
4. Dating outside my race seemed really scary. The thought of someone not knowing any Pinoy joke, or not having the same etiquette and values was just too much for me. It was bad enough that I had to deal with men (don't ask. I just had to.), imagine how awful it would be to deal with men who may not understand you in so many levels. Well, I tried it and really, at the end of the day, there really wasn't much of a diference. Men are men.
5. Leaving my job. It was a fun fun job and the working environment was unbelievably happy. I had to leave Jel, and there's one thing you should know about us --- we just never separated. We were always together. I had to leave my officemates who came to be my closest friends, and I had to leave the creative position that I loved, despite a few assholes who made it shitty on hectic days. I remember WANTING to go to work, if only for the dance numbers and the yosi breaks and the fun fun fun creative meetings. But I guess that was enough time to build lasting friendships, and our work was just a tool to get us together. When I'm back, it'll still be the same, only I'm chubbier and they're more fun!
But so far I feel that I have not done enough, and I am getting impatient. I'm just dying to know what my life would be like in a few years. I just don't want to live a stagnant life. I don't want to be the envy of people; I just want to be happy. I was chatting with Randy this afternon and he reminded me to take it easy, to jus hope for the best and do everything I can to achieve my goals, and not try to listen to the ticking of the clock. Time is not running out. God has plans for me, and I jsut have to wait and see and watch in awe as He unfolds every single event that would lead me to what He wants me to be.
OK well, then.... no use having wrinkles over happily waiting for Him. No, I'm not whistling. I'm going back to work.
What the hell had I been doing before I got this old?
Well I can only go back a year, and hopefully the past year had been meaningful and good for me.
Let's see.
1. I forced myself to find out if I had mean culinary skills, and well... I did! Actually it was wo weird. One day I came home from work very very tired, but for some reason, I went straight to the kitchen and decided I wanted to thaw the chicken and chop some onions and garlic. In less than an hour I made a really mean chicken dish that didn't have a name.
2. I tried to find out if I had the willpower to quit something, and I did. I quit a person, a person in my life that I had so much respect for, which I shouldn't have had. And I did, and that's such a big thing. Sometimes I am tempted to go back, but I remind myself that I must go forward, always forward. A step backward would mean defeat, no doubt about it.
3. Being away from my family and friends is something new to me. And I never imagined living without the convenience of having everyone around on a bad day, and still having them around in times of celebration. It's always been they who have been making me smile and laugh and joke and live life to the fullest! Now, without them, I love them more and more by the minute. And God knows how tight our hugs will be when I'm back.
4. Dating outside my race seemed really scary. The thought of someone not knowing any Pinoy joke, or not having the same etiquette and values was just too much for me. It was bad enough that I had to deal with men (don't ask. I just had to.), imagine how awful it would be to deal with men who may not understand you in so many levels. Well, I tried it and really, at the end of the day, there really wasn't much of a diference. Men are men.
5. Leaving my job. It was a fun fun job and the working environment was unbelievably happy. I had to leave Jel, and there's one thing you should know about us --- we just never separated. We were always together. I had to leave my officemates who came to be my closest friends, and I had to leave the creative position that I loved, despite a few assholes who made it shitty on hectic days. I remember WANTING to go to work, if only for the dance numbers and the yosi breaks and the fun fun fun creative meetings. But I guess that was enough time to build lasting friendships, and our work was just a tool to get us together. When I'm back, it'll still be the same, only I'm chubbier and they're more fun!
But so far I feel that I have not done enough, and I am getting impatient. I'm just dying to know what my life would be like in a few years. I just don't want to live a stagnant life. I don't want to be the envy of people; I just want to be happy. I was chatting with Randy this afternon and he reminded me to take it easy, to jus hope for the best and do everything I can to achieve my goals, and not try to listen to the ticking of the clock. Time is not running out. God has plans for me, and I jsut have to wait and see and watch in awe as He unfolds every single event that would lead me to what He wants me to be.
OK well, then.... no use having wrinkles over happily waiting for Him. No, I'm not whistling. I'm going back to work.
The Dalai Lama delivering a speech in Ulan Bator.
He looks really cool with his sunglasses,
and the way he wears his robe in a
"I'm just going to dinner with some friends. Tata!" way
and the almost-psychedelic-bohemian-
indigenous podium and backdrop.
See? You CAN look cute with the help of a few accessories.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
PMS
I don't know how many times I've written about this, but I will again anyway.
I have PMS and it's making me feel like the ugliest person in the world.
All the symptoms seem to think my body is the best place to hang out, and now they're inside me, all over my thighs, my arms, my tummy, my brains, my energy, my emotions. They're probably smoking pot, which explains why I've been acting very strangely lately.
I'm more moody than Moody Diaz because I want to go home and sleep, but I still have to do a million things and sort out stuff in my mind. My thighs are extra large and my arms are unusually big that I have to spread them out once in a while to see if they're still ok, that they haven't multiplied or grown into two separate entities.
I guess this kind of bitchiness is excusable for a person like me, who fears objecting to anything that moves. It's a great exercise to improve my assertiveness.
I want to think that I will lose five pounds once this my time of the month has transpired, because back home that usually happened. What's with this place anyway?
And lastly I want to share with you my hate list, because I cannot contain all of them in my mind, otherwise I'd be so upset I'd just burst in to tears or run away all the way to Oman (must remember to bring my passport).
MY HATE LIST:
1. my crabby carlift driver
2. my tummy
3. my thighs
4. my arms
5. my skin
6. backache
7. all the guys at work
8. constipation
9. the guy who promised to call us but didn't
10. my metabolism
11. my waller
12. my teeth
13. magazines
14. newpapers
15. my clothes
I have PMS and it's making me feel like the ugliest person in the world.
All the symptoms seem to think my body is the best place to hang out, and now they're inside me, all over my thighs, my arms, my tummy, my brains, my energy, my emotions. They're probably smoking pot, which explains why I've been acting very strangely lately.
I'm more moody than Moody Diaz because I want to go home and sleep, but I still have to do a million things and sort out stuff in my mind. My thighs are extra large and my arms are unusually big that I have to spread them out once in a while to see if they're still ok, that they haven't multiplied or grown into two separate entities.
I guess this kind of bitchiness is excusable for a person like me, who fears objecting to anything that moves. It's a great exercise to improve my assertiveness.
I want to think that I will lose five pounds once this my time of the month has transpired, because back home that usually happened. What's with this place anyway?
And lastly I want to share with you my hate list, because I cannot contain all of them in my mind, otherwise I'd be so upset I'd just burst in to tears or run away all the way to Oman (must remember to bring my passport).
MY HATE LIST:
1. my crabby carlift driver
2. my tummy
3. my thighs
4. my arms
5. my skin
6. backache
7. all the guys at work
8. constipation
9. the guy who promised to call us but didn't
10. my metabolism
11. my waller
12. my teeth
13. magazines
14. newpapers
15. my clothes
morning!
It's becoming a habit of mine to check out www.bbc.co.uk before officially starting to work.
TOday I've learned a few interesting things that are worth sharing with you guys...
AGRO-TERRORISM
There COULD be such a thing. A Western professor named Larry Wein that milk could be an easy channel for killing millions. 10 grams of botulinum toxin in a milk tanker could kill a whole community. And the best lace to start this kind of terrorism is in Kansas, where cattle are king.
"They could poison our feed stuff, water - I hate to even talk about it, we don't want to educate the terrorists."
Mark Fisher, Kansas farmer
NEWS IN THE NUDE
Swedish State Broadcaster SVT showed some scenes from a Czech porn video in the background of a news bulletin. It lasted for 30 seconds and stirred a commotion among viewers. It was a result of the negligence (and frankly the love for sex) of some of the staff, who had been watching a porn channel prior to the airing of the news program. Nevertheless it's still entertaining.
CAMEL UPS MAURITANIA ECONOMY
Camel milk is becoming popular in this part of Africa and is contributing to the area's economy. It's being supplied to lots of corner shops and is fastly becoming a popular refreshing drink for travellers. Bonus: camel milk is low in fat. Down with the lard ass cows!
OK time to work. Later!
TOday I've learned a few interesting things that are worth sharing with you guys...
AGRO-TERRORISM
There COULD be such a thing. A Western professor named Larry Wein that milk could be an easy channel for killing millions. 10 grams of botulinum toxin in a milk tanker could kill a whole community. And the best lace to start this kind of terrorism is in Kansas, where cattle are king.
"They could poison our feed stuff, water - I hate to even talk about it, we don't want to educate the terrorists."
Mark Fisher, Kansas farmer
NEWS IN THE NUDE
Swedish State Broadcaster SVT showed some scenes from a Czech porn video in the background of a news bulletin. It lasted for 30 seconds and stirred a commotion among viewers. It was a result of the negligence (and frankly the love for sex) of some of the staff, who had been watching a porn channel prior to the airing of the news program. Nevertheless it's still entertaining.
CAMEL UPS MAURITANIA ECONOMY
Camel milk is becoming popular in this part of Africa and is contributing to the area's economy. It's being supplied to lots of corner shops and is fastly becoming a popular refreshing drink for travellers. Bonus: camel milk is low in fat. Down with the lard ass cows!
OK time to work. Later!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
THANKS JEL AND BRIDGE FOR THIS SUPER NICE VIDEO!
ANG SWEET NG PINKS KO.... AWWW....
LOVE KO KAYO SUPER! KISS!
http://s13.photobucket.com/albums/a259/jelgueco/?action=view¤t=stickwituz.flv
ANG SWEET NG PINKS KO.... AWWW....
LOVE KO KAYO SUPER! KISS!
http://s13.photobucket.com
Sunday, August 20, 2006
it's not just about the sandals
Apparently it's not only the people you care about who can possibly give up on you.
The three pairs of sandals that I had and sooo loved just did, all in the same week. Smiling soles, the skeleton of the base sticking out (an ugly rusty piece of metal), and thongs that were held together by a rubber band. So I thought about it, and yes, I dismissed my feelings of guilt and went for it!
After work I went to the mall with my friends to buy myself a decent pair of shoes. I looked around and found LOTS of 'em --- in a thousand different colors and designs. Stilettos, wedges, flats. Velvet, leather, vinyl. Black, brown, cotton candy pink. Flowers, Butterflies, intricate Indian designs. Sequins, embroideries, studs. I looked around and convinced myself that I should get a nice pair, one that would make me look and feel like a princess.
So I tried pair after pair after pair, and didn't like any of them. I don't like my shoes all glammed up. I just want something that goes with everything, and of course, very comfortable.
So after trying on a hundred pairs, I opted for plain brown thongs with rubber soles. PLain bown thongs than cushion my feet, that if my feet were myself, I would be sleeping in a big marshmallow bed.
So the plain brown thongs are proving to be my best friend. They love me, I love them, and I don't think I want to get glammed up soon. I just really want to get cozy.
The three pairs of sandals that I had and sooo loved just did, all in the same week. Smiling soles, the skeleton of the base sticking out (an ugly rusty piece of metal), and thongs that were held together by a rubber band. So I thought about it, and yes, I dismissed my feelings of guilt and went for it!
After work I went to the mall with my friends to buy myself a decent pair of shoes. I looked around and found LOTS of 'em --- in a thousand different colors and designs. Stilettos, wedges, flats. Velvet, leather, vinyl. Black, brown, cotton candy pink. Flowers, Butterflies, intricate Indian designs. Sequins, embroideries, studs. I looked around and convinced myself that I should get a nice pair, one that would make me look and feel like a princess.
So I tried pair after pair after pair, and didn't like any of them. I don't like my shoes all glammed up. I just want something that goes with everything, and of course, very comfortable.
So after trying on a hundred pairs, I opted for plain brown thongs with rubber soles. PLain bown thongs than cushion my feet, that if my feet were myself, I would be sleeping in a big marshmallow bed.
So the plain brown thongs are proving to be my best friend. They love me, I love them, and I don't think I want to get glammed up soon. I just really want to get cozy.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Dieting is proving to be very very tedious.
I've been doing this since I was 1!
I have no idea why some unidentified forces juse decide to pile on extra pounds around my hips and thighs.
It's NOT funny.
I never binge. Never.
I eat thrice a day and occasionally drink.
I've been drinking lukewarm water for over 4 years now, because according to several sources cold water can cause bloating.
And I've been doing that "stomach in" thing since time immemorial, but nothing ever comes of it!
Gave up soda years ago.
I know I'm pear shaped, but if I don't find the right diet,
I'll become a watermelon. And nobody wants to have a watermelon friend!
And I can blame genetics --- from my mom down to the first big-thighed woman in our clan, but that won't get rid of the fats.
Lypo? Can't afford it.
Exercise? Don't have time for it (seriously, don't start preaching about how one ALWAYS has the time for something if he puts his mind into it).
I'm fat from the waist down.
I'm F from the W down!
I've been doing this since I was 1!
I have no idea why some unidentified forces juse decide to pile on extra pounds around my hips and thighs.
It's NOT funny.
I never binge. Never.
I eat thrice a day and occasionally drink.
I've been drinking lukewarm water for over 4 years now, because according to several sources cold water can cause bloating.
And I've been doing that "stomach in" thing since time immemorial, but nothing ever comes of it!
Gave up soda years ago.
I know I'm pear shaped, but if I don't find the right diet,
I'll become a watermelon. And nobody wants to have a watermelon friend!
And I can blame genetics --- from my mom down to the first big-thighed woman in our clan, but that won't get rid of the fats.
Lypo? Can't afford it.
Exercise? Don't have time for it (seriously, don't start preaching about how one ALWAYS has the time for something if he puts his mind into it).
I'm fat from the waist down.
I'm F from the W down!
I didn't throw your questions away
I just kept them in my safe
For me to answer when until I felt sure
So I thought about it
Went round and round
But not out and about
So now I invite you
To unlock the safe
So I can take out the questions
And answer them for you
BUt you refuse to open it
You say, ok, wait
We've got lots of time
Keep the questions safe
Will they expire?
Will they ever be answered?
Why do I feel
that I am being punished
for thinking aloud
And being less proud
And why, now that
the earth is ready to swallow me,
do I feel that I can show my face to you again?
I'm taking out the questions
returning them to you
Keep them in your safe
Won't wait for answers
Won't wait at all
I just kept them in my safe
For me to answer when until I felt sure
So I thought about it
Went round and round
But not out and about
So now I invite you
To unlock the safe
So I can take out the questions
And answer them for you
BUt you refuse to open it
You say, ok, wait
We've got lots of time
Keep the questions safe
Will they expire?
Will they ever be answered?
Why do I feel
that I am being punished
for thinking aloud
And being less proud
And why, now that
the earth is ready to swallow me,
do I feel that I can show my face to you again?
I'm taking out the questions
returning them to you
Keep them in your safe
Won't wait for answers
Won't wait at all
He's gone out of his way
To find his spirit
To India, to Mecca, Somalia and Rome
He goes back refreshed
With dirty nails and a big, big smile
Never to return to his old ways
Of greed, of envy and sexual feats
So he preaches and preaches
And she listens to him
And he tells her to stop
All the things she's been doing
"You're wrong, you know,
Young woman, you've a long way to go
I'm here, I'll tell you what to believe
Oh my, don't you ever fornicate
Don't you ever sin and hate
Good people are hard to find
Nowadays we just all go blind."
And then he feels her up
No way she can tell him to stop
Oh no, might as well give it up
All the druids say he's right
His noble acts adorn his name with pride
Don't ever shame
The man who taught you to live
And don't you ever question
What he's doing to you
It's a matter of choice,
BUt poor woman doesn't have a voice
Oh well let's ignore the noise
It's a walk in the park
Take it easy my friend
Belief is an end in itself
Practice is a different thing
And he wants to practice with young women
Barely 18, not yet greased
And he is there, just so eager to please
This man of peace
She makes him weak in the knees
Oh well let's sleep through it
Tomorrow it'll be old news
And she will be bad news
And he'll ready to another trip
To find his spirit
To find his spirit
To India, to Mecca, Somalia and Rome
He goes back refreshed
With dirty nails and a big, big smile
Never to return to his old ways
Of greed, of envy and sexual feats
So he preaches and preaches
And she listens to him
And he tells her to stop
All the things she's been doing
"You're wrong, you know,
Young woman, you've a long way to go
I'm here, I'll tell you what to believe
Oh my, don't you ever fornicate
Don't you ever sin and hate
Good people are hard to find
Nowadays we just all go blind."
And then he feels her up
No way she can tell him to stop
Oh no, might as well give it up
All the druids say he's right
His noble acts adorn his name with pride
Don't ever shame
The man who taught you to live
And don't you ever question
What he's doing to you
It's a matter of choice,
BUt poor woman doesn't have a voice
Oh well let's ignore the noise
It's a walk in the park
Take it easy my friend
Belief is an end in itself
Practice is a different thing
And he wants to practice with young women
Barely 18, not yet greased
And he is there, just so eager to please
This man of peace
She makes him weak in the knees
Oh well let's sleep through it
Tomorrow it'll be old news
And she will be bad news
And he'll ready to another trip
To find his spirit
Thursday, August 17, 2006
August 21
Did you know that August 21, is a holiday in the Philippines? It's the death anniversary of Benigno Aquino, one of the greatest statesmen in the Philippines.
Did you also know that August 21 is a holiday here in the UAE as well? It's the day to commemorate sra and Mi'raj, two parts of a journey the Islamic prophet Muhammad took in one night.
Did you know that August 21 is my birthday? That makes me a very lucky girl, wherever I am!
Woohoo!
I am not really at my best behavior lately.
Maybe it's the heat, or my job, or my diet.
I am not in the mood for a heart-to-heart talk or even a decent chat. My greatest attempt to interact with someone was in the form of sarcasm and outright nasty comments.
I doubt everyone's sincerity and think that everyone's an enemy. And when someone consoles me or makes me laugh, I simply dismiss the slightest possiblity of friendliness and optimism.
No doubt about it, my time of the month is just around the corner. And trust me, you don't want to bump into me at that corner.
Maybe it's the heat, or my job, or my diet.
I am not in the mood for a heart-to-heart talk or even a decent chat. My greatest attempt to interact with someone was in the form of sarcasm and outright nasty comments.
I doubt everyone's sincerity and think that everyone's an enemy. And when someone consoles me or makes me laugh, I simply dismiss the slightest possiblity of friendliness and optimism.
No doubt about it, my time of the month is just around the corner. And trust me, you don't want to bump into me at that corner.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
High School is Cool
High school sounds so much fun that it did when I was actually in high school.
I really don't mind taking our food and nutrition class again and make that molo soup that looked like a jungle. When it was time to eat what we had made, our teacher (who coincidentally resembled a refirigerator) would close the doors and leave us for a few minutes while we conducted our taste test. We looked like prisoners --- dangerously hungry, disappointed by the food, and under the jurisdiction of a beastly warden. And this classmate of mine almost caused a commotion by accidentally swallowing a toothpick she used to eat her siomai, which wasn't even made in our class but ordered from the school caf.
And I also don't mind doing my gymnastics all over again. I remember when we were given jump ropes to practice with and make our own routine. My classmate tripped on her own jump rope and blamed someone else for her hideous fall. She was also the same girl who swallowed the toothpick in health and nutrition.
So my gymnastics routine consisted of me half splitting here and there and just really inventing moves that made me look like a hippo. I was all over the sports complex!
And really, I don't mind attending the intramurals. Me and my buddies, we used to pair each other with the male-looking basketball posses (take note: I went to an all0girls high scool). Ok so I was supposed to be Daryl's pupply love, so when they had a big game, my big-boned friends Wyson and Regine dragged me to the basketball court and forced me to show my support for Daryl and the rest of the Yellow Batch team. And that really wasn't enough for their amusement. THey had to show her my picture when I was 8 years old, kicking high up in the air in my ballerina costume, which they stole from my rattty old backpack.
And I don't mind standing up for a whole period because I couldn't find my Bible, and I was supposed to memorize one passage and interpret it. And getting reprimanded for eating brownies and leaving evidence of it (brown stuff in my teeth). And played the role of a dead politican (his corpse --- with cotton balls in my nostrils and all) in a so-called wholesome skit about Marcos that I myself directed. And getting a 25/100 in a geometry exam (my seatmate Diane Dominguez got the same score --- unbelievable!!!), and acing an Engish test because I thought out teacher would look really cute if she were a guy.
Everything about high school I miss. The "kick me" sign on a dork's back, the soggy fries in the caf, the bullies who unstrapped my bra while I slept at my desk, the Angelus, the stupid one-foot-from-the-ground skirt length rule, the atheists who ALWAYS forgot to NOT do the sign of the cross, the cliques (lesbians, mean girls, losers, outcasts, athletes, beauty queens, nobodies), the teachers with really nice nicknames (Tazmanian devil, Ewoks, Square Root, Pigface hehehe).
God I miss high school. Then we had the licence to be brats and pigs and foolish, to call everyone names and tell anyone senseless things. If I did those things at work, either I'd get fired or no one would speak to me forever. And if I acted like that to my boyfriend (hypothetically, since I don't have one right now) he'd run away, no questions asked.
It's sad. I can't bring back those days. Now I have to act like the rest of them --- hungry for money, career-oriented, capitalists-in-the-making. Oh well.
At least I'm not STILL in high school at 24.
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
...and you finish off as an orgasm.”
---George Carlin
I really don't mind taking our food and nutrition class again and make that molo soup that looked like a jungle. When it was time to eat what we had made, our teacher (who coincidentally resembled a refirigerator) would close the doors and leave us for a few minutes while we conducted our taste test. We looked like prisoners --- dangerously hungry, disappointed by the food, and under the jurisdiction of a beastly warden. And this classmate of mine almost caused a commotion by accidentally swallowing a toothpick she used to eat her siomai, which wasn't even made in our class but ordered from the school caf.
And I also don't mind doing my gymnastics all over again. I remember when we were given jump ropes to practice with and make our own routine. My classmate tripped on her own jump rope and blamed someone else for her hideous fall. She was also the same girl who swallowed the toothpick in health and nutrition.
So my gymnastics routine consisted of me half splitting here and there and just really inventing moves that made me look like a hippo. I was all over the sports complex!
And really, I don't mind attending the intramurals. Me and my buddies, we used to pair each other with the male-looking basketball posses (take note: I went to an all0girls high scool). Ok so I was supposed to be Daryl's pupply love, so when they had a big game, my big-boned friends Wyson and Regine dragged me to the basketball court and forced me to show my support for Daryl and the rest of the Yellow Batch team. And that really wasn't enough for their amusement. THey had to show her my picture when I was 8 years old, kicking high up in the air in my ballerina costume, which they stole from my rattty old backpack.
And I don't mind standing up for a whole period because I couldn't find my Bible, and I was supposed to memorize one passage and interpret it. And getting reprimanded for eating brownies and leaving evidence of it (brown stuff in my teeth). And played the role of a dead politican (his corpse --- with cotton balls in my nostrils and all) in a so-called wholesome skit about Marcos that I myself directed. And getting a 25/100 in a geometry exam (my seatmate Diane Dominguez got the same score --- unbelievable!!!), and acing an Engish test because I thought out teacher would look really cute if she were a guy.
Everything about high school I miss. The "kick me" sign on a dork's back, the soggy fries in the caf, the bullies who unstrapped my bra while I slept at my desk, the Angelus, the stupid one-foot-from-the-ground skirt length rule, the atheists who ALWAYS forgot to NOT do the sign of the cross, the cliques (lesbians, mean girls, losers, outcasts, athletes, beauty queens, nobodies), the teachers with really nice nicknames (Tazmanian devil, Ewoks, Square Root, Pigface hehehe).
God I miss high school. Then we had the licence to be brats and pigs and foolish, to call everyone names and tell anyone senseless things. If I did those things at work, either I'd get fired or no one would speak to me forever. And if I acted like that to my boyfriend (hypothetically, since I don't have one right now) he'd run away, no questions asked.
It's sad. I can't bring back those days. Now I have to act like the rest of them --- hungry for money, career-oriented, capitalists-in-the-making. Oh well.
At least I'm not STILL in high school at 24.
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
...and you finish off as an orgasm.”
---George Carlin
DEAD FROM THE WAIST DOWN by Catatonia
The sun is shining
We should be making hay
But we're dead from the waist down
Like in Californ-i-a
Victory is empty
There are lessons in defeat
But we're dead from the waist down
We are sleeping on our feet
We stole the songs from birds in trees
Bought us time on easy street
Now our paths they never meet
We chose to court and flatter greed, ego disposability
I caught a glimpse, and it's not me
Make hay not war
Make hay not war
Make hay not war
Or else we're done for
And we're D from the W down
There's no contracts binding
No bad scene beyond repair
But when you're dead from the waist down
You're too far gone to even care
We stole the songs from birds in trees
Bought us time on easy street
Now our paths they never meet
We chose to court and flatter greed, ego disposability
I caught a glimpse, and it's not me
Make hay not war
Make hay not war
Make hay not war
Or else we're done for
And we're D from the W down
We should be making hay
But we're dead from the waist down
Like in Californ-i-a
Victory is empty
There are lessons in defeat
But we're dead from the waist down
We are sleeping on our feet
We stole the songs from birds in trees
Bought us time on easy street
Now our paths they never meet
We chose to court and flatter greed, ego disposability
I caught a glimpse, and it's not me
Make hay not war
Make hay not war
Make hay not war
Or else we're done for
And we're D from the W down
There's no contracts binding
No bad scene beyond repair
But when you're dead from the waist down
You're too far gone to even care
We stole the songs from birds in trees
Bought us time on easy street
Now our paths they never meet
We chose to court and flatter greed, ego disposability
I caught a glimpse, and it's not me
Make hay not war
Make hay not war
Make hay not war
Or else we're done for
And we're D from the W down
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
I don't believe in just being yourself.
Be stronger than yourself, because that strength will take you to places you never imagined you'd see.
And if in the end you're stripped of that strength, then you can be yourself. Technically you haven't lost anything, and that's not bad at all.
It's just like owning a pair of sandals with rhinestones on them. When the rhinestones fall off, the sandals still look decent, and you don't have to replace them. Maybe you'll even be inspired to redecorate them?
BODY ODOR
Hi!!! This is very very childish, annoying to some extent, but this will keep me cracking up for the next ten days I swear! If you want to reminisce the good ole grade school and high school days, read this. This goes out to all Miriam Yellow Batch 2000 girls who have never left high school after all --- in mind and heart, like Cookie and me....
cuxragasa: so what's up?
zinzin: well holiday dyan diba sa bday ko?
zinzin: dito rin, coz it's prophet mohammed's birthday
cuxragasa: wow!!! so kabirthday mo pala si prophet mohammed!! happy birthday zins!
cuxragasa: and prophet mohammed
zinzin: hhehehe
zinzin: yup
zinzin: tom bday ni madonna
cuxragasa: talaga? well sya ata idol ni pops fernandez kasi lumabas sya sa FHM . . tapos nagpapabata sya! yung lips nya pinakapal nya!
zinzin: YUCKY lang talaaga
cuxragasa: oo! pero kawawa kasi afectado sya sa pagkabuntis ni martin sa ibang babae
zinzin: nakabuntis si martin?
zinzin: sino?
cuxragasa: haha!!! si ********, non-showbiz
zinzin: ***********?
zinzin: gagee may batchmate tayo na ganon diba
zinzin: hindi siya yun?
cuxragasa: hindi! alam ko yung sinasabi mo, friend ko yun
cuxragasa: pero dko pinapansin kapag nasa up! hehe
zinzin: hahaha
zinzin: kasi parang may BO siya dati eh
zinzin: i hope wala kang BO nung high school
cuxragasa: hahaha pawisin kasi!
zinzin: siguro super baho mo
zinzin: kasi sporty ka eh
cuxragasa: huy wala naman! alam ko mapawis yung kilikili ko pero walang amoy!
zinzin: tapos super baho ng kilikili mo
zinzin: syempre hindi mo naaamoy
zinzin: pero naaamoy ng iba
zinzin: kala mo naaamoy mo si ***********
zinzin: pero sarili mo talaga yun
zinzin: diba? think abt it
cuxragasa: hahaha gageee ka! alalahanin mo? may BO ba ako nung HS?
zinzin: i think so
zinzin: i think everyone knew that
zinzin: parang, they just never talked abt it kasi mom mo si mama cynth
zinzin: kasi diba laging nasa school si mama cynth
zinzin: so tatakot mga tao
cuxragasa: SERYOSO????!!!! hindi nga zeena? excuse me wala akong BO no!
cuxragasa: nung grade school may possibility kasi tamad ako maligo nung mga grade 1-4 ako pero naging clean girl nako after!
cuxragasa: seryoso zeena may BO ako nung HS?
zinzin: ummmm
zinzin: wag na natin pag usapan cooks
zinzin: oks lang
zinzin: next topic
cuxragasa: gageee mo! shit talaga may BO ako nung hs? nakakahiya!
zinzin: ok lang at least ok na ngayon
zinzin: wag ka magalit a?
cuxragasa: talaga? shit hindi ko alam yun
cuxragasa: as in super BO? sigurado ka ako yun?
zinzin: ewan ko ha, pero leave it behind, it's all in the past
zinzin: nag dedeodorant ka na ngayon?
cuxragasa: oo naman! forever naman ako nagdeodorant no!
cuxragasa: parati akong amoy BO or once lang?
zinzin: im not sure. the first time i smelled you like that, super di na ko humihinga pag nandyan ka eh'
cuxragasa: seryoso?? huy grabe ka naman!!!
cuxragasa: ganun ba ako kabaho??
zinzin: hindi naman
zinzin: wala lang
zinzin: it could be worse next time diba?
cuxragasa: haha talaga? parang kasi i never thought na amoy BO ako
cuxragasa: baka naman kasi super exercise tayo nun tapos pati ikaw din nagamoy BO ka
zinzin: i never had a problem with that eh
zinzin: pero ikaw alam ko naamoy na talaga kita
cuxragasa: yan ang kala mo, ako rin ang alam ko i never had a problem with BO pero apparently meron pala
zinzin: JOKE LAAAAAAAANG!!!
cuxragasa: so may BO nga ako?
zinzin: wala nga!
zinzin: JOKe LANG
zinzin: hahaha
cuxragasa: nakakainis ka! i knew it!
cuxragasa: pero seryoso? are you telling me this just for the sake of me not continuing this topic?
zinzin: hahahahaha
zinzin: NO JOKE LANG NGA EH
zinzin: SUPER WALA
zinzin: kakatawa to i will post this on my blog i swear!!!!!!!
cuxragasa: huy tumigil ka!!! dont you dare post that!
cuxragasa: shit ka! wag mo lagay sa blog mo please?
cuxragasa: so what's up?
zinzin: well holiday dyan diba sa bday ko?
zinzin: dito rin, coz it's prophet mohammed's birthday
cuxragasa: wow!!! so kabirthday mo pala si prophet mohammed!! happy birthday zins!
cuxragasa: and prophet mohammed
zinzin: hhehehe
zinzin: yup
zinzin: tom bday ni madonna
cuxragasa: talaga? well sya ata idol ni pops fernandez kasi lumabas sya sa FHM . . tapos nagpapabata sya! yung lips nya pinakapal nya!
zinzin: YUCKY lang talaaga
cuxragasa: oo! pero kawawa kasi afectado sya sa pagkabuntis ni martin sa ibang babae
zinzin: nakabuntis si martin?
zinzin: sino?
cuxragasa: haha!!! si ********, non-showbiz
zinzin: ***********?
zinzin: gagee may batchmate tayo na ganon diba
zinzin: hindi siya yun?
cuxragasa: hindi! alam ko yung sinasabi mo, friend ko yun
cuxragasa: pero dko pinapansin kapag nasa up! hehe
zinzin: hahaha
zinzin: kasi parang may BO siya dati eh
zinzin: i hope wala kang BO nung high school
cuxragasa: hahaha pawisin kasi!
zinzin: siguro super baho mo
zinzin: kasi sporty ka eh
cuxragasa: huy wala naman! alam ko mapawis yung kilikili ko pero walang amoy!
zinzin: tapos super baho ng kilikili mo
zinzin: syempre hindi mo naaamoy
zinzin: pero naaamoy ng iba
zinzin: kala mo naaamoy mo si ***********
zinzin: pero sarili mo talaga yun
zinzin: diba? think abt it
cuxragasa: hahaha gageee ka! alalahanin mo? may BO ba ako nung HS?
zinzin: i think so
zinzin: i think everyone knew that
zinzin: parang, they just never talked abt it kasi mom mo si mama cynth
zinzin: kasi diba laging nasa school si mama cynth
zinzin: so tatakot mga tao
cuxragasa: SERYOSO????!!!! hindi nga zeena? excuse me wala akong BO no!
cuxragasa: nung grade school may possibility kasi tamad ako maligo nung mga grade 1-4 ako pero naging clean girl nako after!
cuxragasa: seryoso zeena may BO ako nung HS?
zinzin: ummmm
zinzin: wag na natin pag usapan cooks
zinzin: oks lang
zinzin: next topic
cuxragasa: gageee mo! shit talaga may BO ako nung hs? nakakahiya!
zinzin: ok lang at least ok na ngayon
zinzin: wag ka magalit a?
cuxragasa: talaga? shit hindi ko alam yun
cuxragasa: as in super BO? sigurado ka ako yun?
zinzin: ewan ko ha, pero leave it behind, it's all in the past
zinzin: nag dedeodorant ka na ngayon?
cuxragasa: oo naman! forever naman ako nagdeodorant no!
cuxragasa: parati akong amoy BO or once lang?
zinzin: im not sure. the first time i smelled you like that, super di na ko humihinga pag nandyan ka eh'
cuxragasa: seryoso?? huy grabe ka naman!!!
cuxragasa: ganun ba ako kabaho??
zinzin: hindi naman
zinzin: wala lang
zinzin: it could be worse next time diba?
cuxragasa: haha talaga? parang kasi i never thought na amoy BO ako
cuxragasa: baka naman kasi super exercise tayo nun tapos pati ikaw din nagamoy BO ka
zinzin: i never had a problem with that eh
zinzin: pero ikaw alam ko naamoy na talaga kita
cuxragasa: yan ang kala mo, ako rin ang alam ko i never had a problem with BO pero apparently meron pala
zinzin: JOKE LAAAAAAAANG!!!
cuxragasa: so may BO nga ako?
zinzin: wala nga!
zinzin: JOKe LANG
zinzin: hahaha
cuxragasa: nakakainis ka! i knew it!
cuxragasa: pero seryoso? are you telling me this just for the sake of me not continuing this topic?
zinzin: hahahahaha
zinzin: NO JOKE LANG NGA EH
zinzin: SUPER WALA
zinzin: kakatawa to i will post this on my blog i swear!!!!!!!
cuxragasa: huy tumigil ka!!! dont you dare post that!
cuxragasa: shit ka! wag mo lagay sa blog mo please?
************
COOKIE AND I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. THE ABOVE WAS JUST A PRACTICAL JOKE THAT WE BOTH ENJOYED, AND I SWEAR . . . SHE'S ONE OF THE CLEANEST, NICEST-SMELLING WOMEN I KNOW, AND THEREFORE SHE'S NEVER HAD TROUBLE IN THE ARMPIT DEPARTMENT OR ELSEWHERE IN HER BODY. SHE'S ALWAYS USED DEODORANT AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO. SO COOKIE DID NOT, DOES NOT AND WILL NEVER HAVE BODY ODOR.
***********
***********
Bye Work!
I start a revolution
In my seat
I swivel in the chairs
And run up the stairs
And eat all the files
I refuse to keep
There's no secret language
No disorder to diagnose
I'm simply devastated
So I start climbing the roof
50 degrees torturing my mind
Inciting my brain
To inflict pain
To anyone who's nodding his head
Nothing to worry about
I'm not worried
I'm easy and I'm leaving
Goodbye!
In my seat
I swivel in the chairs
And run up the stairs
And eat all the files
I refuse to keep
There's no secret language
No disorder to diagnose
I'm simply devastated
So I start climbing the roof
50 degrees torturing my mind
Inciting my brain
To inflict pain
To anyone who's nodding his head
Nothing to worry about
I'm not worried
I'm easy and I'm leaving
Goodbye!
FRESHER
Last night after Colin fell asleep watching Anger Management and Eve had gone home, I went to our room thinking I'd get a good sleep and wake up fresh and with no eyebags at least. But I couldn't sleep. I read a few pages of Memoirs of a Geisha and some pages of Time Out Dubai and read some passages from the Quran (Eve lent it to me), and still I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes. So I went down and borrowed Colin's iPod, and listened to some soothing tunes. Catatoni's Dead From the Waist Down wasn't helping, because the voice of the lead vocalist --- don't get me wrong, she's excellent --- was so sweet it was almost creepy, it really made me fear going dead from the waist down.
So ok, literature and music wouldn't put poor me to sleep, so I logged on to YAHOO Messenger and found Jaja aka Jillian Prieto online. It was WHACK (a little nigga talk won't hurt)! She typed in upper case the whole time and she just wouldn't stop.
zinzin: Jaja alam mo ba ...
jillian prieto: ANOOOOOOOO
jillian prieto: ANOOOOOOOO
jillian prieto: ANOOOOOOOO
jillian prieto: GO KWENTO
jillian prieto: ANOoOOOOOO
I didn't expect anyone to be so chatty at that time, but then again she now lives in the California, and 1:30 AM in Dubai equals 2 PM in Cali. So we were both perky at the thought of our SAMASKOM memories, and we exchanged stories about men and career and some people's lives (the manadatory agenda of every girl talk), and it was so much fun I didn't want to end it. For that we went on and on about anything and everything and I ended up talking to her until around 3:30 AM. Of course in the end the talk wasn't just fun. I learned some things from her, like never ruin your life over someone who doesn't really care about you ---friend, lover, colleague, in-law. Of course I should have known that, but she made that pretty clear that I'd be ashamed to forget it the next day, which is today (I'm at work but I just have to blog).
Anyway I woke up with big circles under my eyes, but surprisingly, I felt fresh, probably fresher than if I opted to just toss and turn in my bed.
I guess laughter and a good conversation just have that effect on anyone. I look like a zombie today and I will be spacing out the whole day (oh yeah I sooo know it), but if Jaja's still online later, I might do it again!
So ok, literature and music wouldn't put poor me to sleep, so I logged on to YAHOO Messenger and found Jaja aka Jillian Prieto online. It was WHACK (a little nigga talk won't hurt)! She typed in upper case the whole time and she just wouldn't stop.
zinzin: Jaja alam mo ba ...
jillian prieto: ANOOOOOOOO
jillian prieto: ANOOOOOOOO
jillian prieto: ANOOOOOOOO
jillian prieto: GO KWENTO
jillian prieto: ANOoOOOOOO
I didn't expect anyone to be so chatty at that time, but then again she now lives in the California, and 1:30 AM in Dubai equals 2 PM in Cali. So we were both perky at the thought of our SAMASKOM memories, and we exchanged stories about men and career and some people's lives (the manadatory agenda of every girl talk), and it was so much fun I didn't want to end it. For that we went on and on about anything and everything and I ended up talking to her until around 3:30 AM. Of course in the end the talk wasn't just fun. I learned some things from her, like never ruin your life over someone who doesn't really care about you ---friend, lover, colleague, in-law. Of course I should have known that, but she made that pretty clear that I'd be ashamed to forget it the next day, which is today (I'm at work but I just have to blog).
Anyway I woke up with big circles under my eyes, but surprisingly, I felt fresh, probably fresher than if I opted to just toss and turn in my bed.
I guess laughter and a good conversation just have that effect on anyone. I look like a zombie today and I will be spacing out the whole day (oh yeah I sooo know it), but if Jaja's still online later, I might do it again!
another one about my cooking
My efforts in exploring the culinary world have paid off.
I cooked chicken for dinner and Eve and Colin loved it.
Ok here's what I did:
1. I marinated some chicken overnight.
2. Chopped some garlic and stuffed the chicken with it.
3. Glazed the chicken with brown sugar
4. Put it in the oven for an hour.
Then I served it as rice topping.
I ended up eating tuna because there wasn't enough chicken, but that's all right.
"Beautiful," was Colin's comment.
"Zins...sarap!" was Eve's.
OK who's up for dinner at our place?
I cooked chicken for dinner and Eve and Colin loved it.
Ok here's what I did:
1. I marinated some chicken overnight.
2. Chopped some garlic and stuffed the chicken with it.
3. Glazed the chicken with brown sugar
4. Put it in the oven for an hour.
Then I served it as rice topping.
I ended up eating tuna because there wasn't enough chicken, but that's all right.
"Beautiful," was Colin's comment.
"Zins...sarap!" was Eve's.
OK who's up for dinner at our place?
Monday, August 14, 2006
hot gossip
I was chatting with my high school friend this afternoon. She's now a proud mom of a baby girl who'll turn out to be more madlita than her, just give the cutie a year to grow her teeth and some mean bangs. We've been exchanging interesting stories abour our batchmates since I came here and she became a stay-home mom. So far I've been updated and welcomed memories from a fun past.
But her latest chika is something I plan to forget. It's about me and my first ex! When we were still together, he hit on her! She didn't give in of course, and it was so disturbing that this man I trusted the whole time we were together was lecturing my other friend about how every committed man needed a "side dish". Seriously, for someone so close to his mom to do that? I thought he was one of the most honest people in the world, and I even gave him credit for telling me that he liked someone else when we broke up. I'm not really affected, just a little surprised. I thought we had something serious going on.And I really meant to plan my life with him.
Oks lang siguro yun. At least I'm free from that crap, and I hope that the next guy I'll be with isn't a jerk like him. No more lesser-evil mentality (because that really tricked me, my 2nd boyfriend turned out ot be wrose --- but that's another story) and giving anyone the benefit of the doubt.
OK did I mention that I plan to forget about it?
So mare, ano pang chika?!
But her latest chika is something I plan to forget. It's about me and my first ex! When we were still together, he hit on her! She didn't give in of course, and it was so disturbing that this man I trusted the whole time we were together was lecturing my other friend about how every committed man needed a "side dish". Seriously, for someone so close to his mom to do that? I thought he was one of the most honest people in the world, and I even gave him credit for telling me that he liked someone else when we broke up. I'm not really affected, just a little surprised. I thought we had something serious going on.And I really meant to plan my life with him.
Oks lang siguro yun. At least I'm free from that crap, and I hope that the next guy I'll be with isn't a jerk like him. No more lesser-evil mentality (because that really tricked me, my 2nd boyfriend turned out ot be wrose --- but that's another story) and giving anyone the benefit of the doubt.
OK did I mention that I plan to forget about it?
So mare, ano pang chika?!
Drinking and Giving
Hi, was googling again and came across this article from www.sfgate.com.
For some this might be a little odd, but I say there is nothing weird in being generous, even under the influence of alcohol. IN VINO VERITAS.
A drunken man withdrew more than $16,700 from his bank account and then started handing out the money to passers-by in a western German town Tuesday, police said.
Police in Darmstadt said they were alerted at lunchtime to a man sitting on a bench in front of a bank and handing out notes. He had the money stuffed into plastic bags and his pockets, and some of it blew away.
Officers took the 63-year-old back into the bank and counted the money.
They said in a statement that he had handed out $1,935, but that he "didn't care because he had enough."
Police decided to hold on to the rest of the money temporarily. They told the man, whose name was not released, to come back and collect it once he sobered up.
For some this might be a little odd, but I say there is nothing weird in being generous, even under the influence of alcohol. IN VINO VERITAS.
A drunken man withdrew more than $16,700 from his bank account and then started handing out the money to passers-by in a western German town Tuesday, police said.
Police in Darmstadt said they were alerted at lunchtime to a man sitting on a bench in front of a bank and handing out notes. He had the money stuffed into plastic bags and his pockets, and some of it blew away.
Officers took the 63-year-old back into the bank and counted the money.
They said in a statement that he had handed out $1,935, but that he "didn't care because he had enough."
Police decided to hold on to the rest of the money temporarily. They told the man, whose name was not released, to come back and collect it once he sobered up.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
I was talking to Richie this evening, and I actually missed him.
I was trying to think, maybe it was the flowers that nailed it.
Or the fact that he keeps me company through email every day, and work has seemed easier since.
Or the open invitation to coffee, anytime, anywhere.
And he always has this sense of calmness. When I'm tensed or upset, he shows up and I'm OK.
Maybe it's because of his funny face? Nah, he looks nice most of the time.
He just manages to lower his voice and be his usual chatty self.
Not to say that he's complacent. He's very cautious about the way he acts when we're out together. He doesn't want to disrespect me in any way and wants me to feel comfortable around him.
And when we spend time together, we really talk. A man who talks and listens is a rare breed, but I have yet to find out if he really listens. I'll give him a pop quiz next week.
"How did I feel about you being blah blah...?" Hahaha that would freak out any man, but maybe not him. He'd just laugh it off or wrap it up with a "bloody" comment.
And I'm actually starting to have fun with him.
I was thinking, nah, it's awkward to date outside my race, and maybe this guy's not really serious, and maybe he was just trying to see if I was up for it or not...
Surprisingly he has stayed. Interesting.
I'm not publishing this so he'd stay forever --- haha that's scary --- but I just thought I'd let him know about these things I've never told him before. Because I know he reads my blog!
Someone taking his time to read my blog to know me more and appreciate my writing makes me feel like a star.
So there. He's almost finsihed reading this.
But if he missed this, that's his problem!!! I'm NOT going to write about this again.
I was trying to think, maybe it was the flowers that nailed it.
Or the fact that he keeps me company through email every day, and work has seemed easier since.
Or the open invitation to coffee, anytime, anywhere.
And he always has this sense of calmness. When I'm tensed or upset, he shows up and I'm OK.
Maybe it's because of his funny face? Nah, he looks nice most of the time.
He just manages to lower his voice and be his usual chatty self.
Not to say that he's complacent. He's very cautious about the way he acts when we're out together. He doesn't want to disrespect me in any way and wants me to feel comfortable around him.
And when we spend time together, we really talk. A man who talks and listens is a rare breed, but I have yet to find out if he really listens. I'll give him a pop quiz next week.
"How did I feel about you being blah blah...?" Hahaha that would freak out any man, but maybe not him. He'd just laugh it off or wrap it up with a "bloody" comment.
And I'm actually starting to have fun with him.
I was thinking, nah, it's awkward to date outside my race, and maybe this guy's not really serious, and maybe he was just trying to see if I was up for it or not...
Surprisingly he has stayed. Interesting.
I'm not publishing this so he'd stay forever --- haha that's scary --- but I just thought I'd let him know about these things I've never told him before. Because I know he reads my blog!
Someone taking his time to read my blog to know me more and appreciate my writing makes me feel like a star.
So there. He's almost finsihed reading this.
But if he missed this, that's his problem!!! I'm NOT going to write about this again.
Hi Macy!!! Thanks for the salpicao recipe.
Hmmm now I'm inspired to collect recipes
and have my own recipe library.
Not that I plan to cook. Hehe.
If you know any Pinoy dish recipe that's easy to follow,
please email them to me. . . zeenahhh@yahoo.com . . .
other easy-to-make stuff are ok too...
desserts, steak, raw stuf....
Thanks!
Zeena
Hmmm now I'm inspired to collect recipes
and have my own recipe library.
Not that I plan to cook. Hehe.
If you know any Pinoy dish recipe that's easy to follow,
please email them to me. . . zeenahhh@yahoo.com . . .
other easy-to-make stuff are ok too...
desserts, steak, raw stuf....
Thanks!
Zeena
Thank God for Chikka text!
I can now send senseless text messages to my friends and family in the Philippines without spending a single fil.
AND they can reply for as low as P2.50.
Bet mo yun?
Hahahah I know, Chikka's been existing forever, but laziness had always kept me from creating my own account. Now I bug everyone back home, asking them mundane things like how's work and did you sleep well and what are you guys doing now.
Thank God for Chikka text!
AND they can reply for as low as P2.50.
Bet mo yun?
Hahahah I know, Chikka's been existing forever, but laziness had always kept me from creating my own account. Now I bug everyone back home, asking them mundane things like how's work and did you sleep well and what are you guys doing now.
Thank God for Chikka text!
THE LONELY BOXER
I have not been boxing for a long time now.
I'm afraid I've lost stamina and rhythm. But I haven't lost the drive. I need a sparring partner to challenge me again, to push me to increase my strength. I need a sparring partner who will not leave me just when I'm starting to get into shape again.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
patience
I am impatient.
I never wait for people to move.
Ironically, some people are also impatient with me,
because I take my own sweet time when I want to.
But my situation right now needs me to be very very patient.
And other people around me must also understand this.
I can't wait to know what's next.
I never wait for people to move.
Ironically, some people are also impatient with me,
because I take my own sweet time when I want to.
But my situation right now needs me to be very very patient.
And other people around me must also understand this.
I can't wait to know what's next.
Friday, August 11, 2006
MAMA BECKY
My friends and I were out in our frontyard talking about how stupid our dads were, and after 20 mins the next logical thing to talk about was how fabulous our moms were.
My mom's really the best mom in the world. I'm sure that you say the same thing about yours, but if God were to judge, Mama Becky would surely get the Best Mother in The Whole World award. Of course she's not perfect, she's far from that, really. But every time I talk about her with my friends or anyone else, I realize how proud I am of her. All of her, and that includes her habit of telling me that I am a pig.
THAT'S JUST MAMA
So she struts in the house after a good haircut courtesy of Salon de Manila, asking everyone how her new bob looks when she's had that cut for 10 years; refuses to eat rice in the evening but stuffs our faces with all the carbs she can afford (yes she wants us to be healthy, but I always insist that I have the right to go on a diet like her); gets really impatient when I go shopping but takes hours raiding Kamiseta to find that crisp white collared shirt when she already has three; and makes plans to take Zoe and me to the cinemas and have dinner in a nice restaurant but decides it's better to rest at home when we're already dressed up.
HOW SHE FEEDS US
She's an excellent cook, but when she was just learning, but because she would just leearn two dishes at a time, we used to have just bola bola or menudo for a good three years. Now she's added chicken garbanzos, adobo, alimango, chicken tinola, this beef dish ZOe and I love, and the famous fried eggs and hotdog. And when it's Sunday afternoon and we're scavenging in the kitchen foe somethign to snack on, we hit the big drum beside the fridge that she filled with V-Cut, Piattos, Potato Chips, Kornettes, Taquitos, biscuits, green peas, butong pakwan, and of course kiamoy. Paired with at least 3 bottles of Yakult, we go and watch THe Buzz until Mama decides it's dinner time.
ON THE FOUR-LETTER WORD
Not a big fan of drama, I realized how much of a character she was when I had my first heartache! It was a Holy Week pupply love kind of thing, when he kissed me on Holy Tuesday and fled the country on Good Friday. So on Holy Thursday, not wanting to let go (I know, YUCK), I spent the whole morning in bed in my stinky pajamas, cyring my heart out for a thing with a boy that didn't even last a week. I thought that Mama would excuse me from the Visita Iglesia (which was attended by our whole clan, which meant a grand convoy from one chruch to another) at 3 PM, but being a tough chick she dragged me out of bed and forced me to hear the two-hour mass with swollen eyes, nose and brain. Ok so I went, thinking that I could tell everyone I just didn't have enough sleep that's why my eyes looked really bad. But upon reaching the chruch premises, everyone was giggling, from my grannies down to my 3-year-old cousin, asking me why my boyfriend had left me, and some other questions following that. Yes my mother had a problem with discretion and I think I inherited it. There were times in the past when I knew she was having problems with a man she liked, but I didn't dare ask her. For her, that's really not a good topic for a mother-and-daughter talk, but I managed to sympathize in whatever way I could, like offering to take care of our business whiel she's away. Anyway it's the same case vice versa --- when I had more boy problems, she just made life easier for me by not nagging 24/7.
And when I broke up with my first boyfriend, she visited me at work and had coffee, and she told me that I was so lucky I got out of a relationship with a man who believed that patriarchy is the key to a perfect relationship. My mother doesn't tolerate that kind of crap. Generally, she's just not a fan of all that lovey-dovey shit and men who thought they could rule the world. Duh! Becky, Zeena and Zoe ARE the world.
HER TAKE ON MY LIFE
Surprisingly, my mother has been very supportive of my plans, even when I didn't have any yet. So I told her I was leaving the country, and she's fine with that, as long as I was. At the airport her eyes were watery but she never let a single tear fall, and I think that's the kind of strength only Mama Becky has. So now we chat a lot (when we're both at work and bored), and we chat about really random things, like just recently when she said she went to a transvstite fortune teller who was so sure I'd marry an engineer. And that time when she told me about Zoe's menarche. Hahahahaha. OK and the time we were making fun of my dad's lousy life. She just lets me be, and that, I think, is the reason I want to succeed in whatever this is I'm getting into. I want her to be proud of me. I want her to be able to say that "I trusted my daughter and it turned out ot be a great decision."
Ok so maybe my mom's not even reading my blog but I'm sure she knows everything I wrote here. She's crazy and loving and youthful and just everything you want from a mother (and then some . . . ) And maybe next year when we see each other she's going to ask me who I'm dating, how her "new" bob cut looks, and feed me adobo or menudo.
My mom's really the best mom in the world. I'm sure that you say the same thing about yours, but if God were to judge, Mama Becky would surely get the Best Mother in The Whole World award. Of course she's not perfect, she's far from that, really. But every time I talk about her with my friends or anyone else, I realize how proud I am of her. All of her, and that includes her habit of telling me that I am a pig.
THAT'S JUST MAMA
So she struts in the house after a good haircut courtesy of Salon de Manila, asking everyone how her new bob looks when she's had that cut for 10 years; refuses to eat rice in the evening but stuffs our faces with all the carbs she can afford (yes she wants us to be healthy, but I always insist that I have the right to go on a diet like her); gets really impatient when I go shopping but takes hours raiding Kamiseta to find that crisp white collared shirt when she already has three; and makes plans to take Zoe and me to the cinemas and have dinner in a nice restaurant but decides it's better to rest at home when we're already dressed up.
HOW SHE FEEDS US
She's an excellent cook, but when she was just learning, but because she would just leearn two dishes at a time, we used to have just bola bola or menudo for a good three years. Now she's added chicken garbanzos, adobo, alimango, chicken tinola, this beef dish ZOe and I love, and the famous fried eggs and hotdog. And when it's Sunday afternoon and we're scavenging in the kitchen foe somethign to snack on, we hit the big drum beside the fridge that she filled with V-Cut, Piattos, Potato Chips, Kornettes, Taquitos, biscuits, green peas, butong pakwan, and of course kiamoy. Paired with at least 3 bottles of Yakult, we go and watch THe Buzz until Mama decides it's dinner time.
ON THE FOUR-LETTER WORD
Not a big fan of drama, I realized how much of a character she was when I had my first heartache! It was a Holy Week pupply love kind of thing, when he kissed me on Holy Tuesday and fled the country on Good Friday. So on Holy Thursday, not wanting to let go (I know, YUCK), I spent the whole morning in bed in my stinky pajamas, cyring my heart out for a thing with a boy that didn't even last a week. I thought that Mama would excuse me from the Visita Iglesia (which was attended by our whole clan, which meant a grand convoy from one chruch to another) at 3 PM, but being a tough chick she dragged me out of bed and forced me to hear the two-hour mass with swollen eyes, nose and brain. Ok so I went, thinking that I could tell everyone I just didn't have enough sleep that's why my eyes looked really bad. But upon reaching the chruch premises, everyone was giggling, from my grannies down to my 3-year-old cousin, asking me why my boyfriend had left me, and some other questions following that. Yes my mother had a problem with discretion and I think I inherited it. There were times in the past when I knew she was having problems with a man she liked, but I didn't dare ask her. For her, that's really not a good topic for a mother-and-daughter talk, but I managed to sympathize in whatever way I could, like offering to take care of our business whiel she's away. Anyway it's the same case vice versa --- when I had more boy problems, she just made life easier for me by not nagging 24/7.
And when I broke up with my first boyfriend, she visited me at work and had coffee, and she told me that I was so lucky I got out of a relationship with a man who believed that patriarchy is the key to a perfect relationship. My mother doesn't tolerate that kind of crap. Generally, she's just not a fan of all that lovey-dovey shit and men who thought they could rule the world. Duh! Becky, Zeena and Zoe ARE the world.
HER TAKE ON MY LIFE
Surprisingly, my mother has been very supportive of my plans, even when I didn't have any yet. So I told her I was leaving the country, and she's fine with that, as long as I was. At the airport her eyes were watery but she never let a single tear fall, and I think that's the kind of strength only Mama Becky has. So now we chat a lot (when we're both at work and bored), and we chat about really random things, like just recently when she said she went to a transvstite fortune teller who was so sure I'd marry an engineer. And that time when she told me about Zoe's menarche. Hahahahaha. OK and the time we were making fun of my dad's lousy life. She just lets me be, and that, I think, is the reason I want to succeed in whatever this is I'm getting into. I want her to be proud of me. I want her to be able to say that "I trusted my daughter and it turned out ot be a great decision."
Ok so maybe my mom's not even reading my blog but I'm sure she knows everything I wrote here. She's crazy and loving and youthful and just everything you want from a mother (and then some . . . ) And maybe next year when we see each other she's going to ask me who I'm dating, how her "new" bob cut looks, and feed me adobo or menudo.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
my birthday is coming up!
for my birthday i want sandals that don't have "smiling" soles.
i'm supposed to be happier than my footwear!
make up won't hurt.
hmmm and a whole new wardrobe.
and a job that will pay better and make me look younger!
probably travel? ok that's a little ambitious.
i want to speak to all my friends and tell them all about my life.
and i want to receive text messages saying "happy bday, i miss you!"
or "hey, when are you coming home? happy bday! it's not the same without you!"
and of course i want a simple dinner with champagne and maybe strawberries?
and i want to go swimming or get a massage or go shopping and then watch a movie.
i want, just for a day here, live manila-style.
i'm supposed to be happier than my footwear!
make up won't hurt.
hmmm and a whole new wardrobe.
and a job that will pay better and make me look younger!
probably travel? ok that's a little ambitious.
i want to speak to all my friends and tell them all about my life.
and i want to receive text messages saying "happy bday, i miss you!"
or "hey, when are you coming home? happy bday! it's not the same without you!"
and of course i want a simple dinner with champagne and maybe strawberries?
and i want to go swimming or get a massage or go shopping and then watch a movie.
i want, just for a day here, live manila-style.
i can cook
Hey did I mention I can now cook adobo?
Yeah, it just happened one day, when there was chicken in the freezer and I saw bay leaves and whole black peppers and soy sauce and vinegar and onions and garlic.
And I threw everything in the pot hoping against hope that it would turn out ok.
And it did!
We loved it.
Ok so now I'm moving forward, towards the direction I was so afraid of.
But there's no harm in having more than one interest.
I can't just write and write and find myself starving when I'm tired of writing.
Yeah, it just happened one day, when there was chicken in the freezer and I saw bay leaves and whole black peppers and soy sauce and vinegar and onions and garlic.
And I threw everything in the pot hoping against hope that it would turn out ok.
And it did!
We loved it.
Ok so now I'm moving forward, towards the direction I was so afraid of.
But there's no harm in having more than one interest.
I can't just write and write and find myself starving when I'm tired of writing.
I am so bored at work today, eating a rotten banana and tilting my head to the left and to the right just so I can say that I'm moving.
Last night Richie and I had coffee and I had fun talking to him, over sour cherry pie.
I think that was the best night I had in a long time.
I am still waiting for someone, anyone actually, to call me up and tell me that my lfie will change soon, for the better.
Can't be stagnant.
Last night Richie and I had coffee and I had fun talking to him, over sour cherry pie.
I think that was the best night I had in a long time.
I am still waiting for someone, anyone actually, to call me up and tell me that my lfie will change soon, for the better.
Can't be stagnant.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
ZEENA STORIES
http://www.actionaid.org/497/zeenas_story.html
http://www.irinnews.org/print.asp?ReportID=46206
http://www.bizarremag.com/bizarre_lives.php?id=1809
http://www.irinnews.org/print.asp?ReportID=46206
http://www.bizarremag.com/bizarre_lives.php?id=1809
LIKE SHOW BUSINESS, BUT NASTIER . . .
cuxragasa: well kasi tong kups officemate ko always late, tapos today 5mins early na sya sa time! feeling ko nagkaimpact ako!!
haha tapos feeling siguro nila takot na takot ako sa kanila e hindi naman! kaya ko silang isumbong sa hong kong office! huh-ha!
yeah!!! hardcore choo choo kaya ako! wag nila kakalabanin ang hardcore choo choo
grabe no? company politics! tsk tsk! happens in every office!
That was my dear friend Cookie walking about her work. I canNOT believe even the friendliest and one of the few good-natured people left in the world had a problem with dealing with officemates. I guess no matter how nice you are to them, there will always be shitheads who will try to make work hell for you. Anyway it just goes to show how strong Cookie is. She's not a pushover. Magsusumbong talaga siya! And she'll make sure that her indolent colleagues get what they deserve. Tell the boss in Hongkong, Cooks!
Oh God. Work. People trashing other people, like they don't uphold the name and vision mission of the same company that feeds them and pushes them towards their career goals. Nasty labels like "company whore" and God knows what else they might be calling YOU or ME behind our backs.
And sometimes it's wise to just turn and walk away and get rid of the people and give up your job IF you don't like your job in the first place. But if you love the job, and you want to stay, then it's up to you to get rid of the people without losing your focus on career. It's a shame if you leave your job because the PEOPLE are not allowing you to grow and be happy, because as far as I'm concerned, they're not supposed to get in the way. They should be part of your climb to success.
On a lighter note, what Cookie did is the perfect example of fighting back without losing your cool.
I just love you Cooks!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
not bad...
two job interviews in a day.
not bad. not bad at all.
and the first one was very very promising.
let's see how the second one goes.
now if i can just tell my hair to behave.
i don't want any managing director talking to my split ends.
see yah later!
not bad. not bad at all.
and the first one was very very promising.
let's see how the second one goes.
now if i can just tell my hair to behave.
i don't want any managing director talking to my split ends.
see yah later!
After realizing I'd been having shawarmas for dinner the whole week, I decided to . . . (drumroll) . . . no, not cook . . . (drumroll again)... but try something else on the menu. Jabal Ohoud is a small cafeteria in Satwa, and their menu is always conveniently lying around the house, for hungry tired me to grab. Chicken fillet looked ok, good enough to convince Steve to have it too. (By the way Steve is our new housemate: 57, has a Filipina wife now in Zambales where they have ricefields and probably cute sons). Also ordered mango shake.
The food came and being the freeloader that I was, I let Steve pay for mine even before he finished saying "It's on me". Devoured everything in minutes. Chewed ans sipped and listened to Colin, Steve and Andrew about something (please tell me it's not rugby again), and had a nice evening chat with Reiziel.
Then began my evening ritual: channel surfing. It starts with CNN, and ends with Sky News, if I'm lucky. I don't know why I like watching the news. Deaths in Lebanon, poverty worldwide, corruption somewhere else. But that's jsut me. I'm usually fascinated with how events can develop so fast, and no one can predict what happens next. And everyone was just shocked to find Shiyah blasting last night. Sad sad sad.
So Colin the happy housemate came to the rescue, and after finishing his laundry offered a glass of Bailey's, which I believe I really really needed. So ok, he gave me the liberty to channel surf, so I did, but got stuck on CNN again. I watched for a good 5 minutes, until Colin said he couldn't take it, could we please watch something lighter, please please please Zeena, so I went on with my surfing. Then we found something realy interesting, a British teen flick. The humor was very different from other chick flicks. Sarcasm, dryness, slapstick all put together to create chaos in SUZIE GOLD's life. Plus, they're a Jewish family, so that's something new (for five months I've been observing Muslim laws and customs). But what I really liked about it is the theme song --- GOLD by Spandau Ballet, sang by maybe Suzie Gold herself or some teen Brit. It's probably a B movie or some independent film (I don't know, I haven't researched yet, sorry), but it made me feel a hundred times better. And I thank God Colin was an optimist, so he can somehow lighten my burden by suggesting thigns like "let's change the channel".
For more about SUZIE GOLD, please Google it. And try to watch it. Nothing special in terms of storyline and special effects, but it DID have a special effect on me. I cheered up and slept peacefully.
"You are GOLD! Always believe in your soul... You've got the power to know, you're indestructible...Always believe it....GOLD! Glad that you;re bound to return, something I should've learned...you're indestructible ....."
The food came and being the freeloader that I was, I let Steve pay for mine even before he finished saying "It's on me". Devoured everything in minutes. Chewed ans sipped and listened to Colin, Steve and Andrew about something (please tell me it's not rugby again), and had a nice evening chat with Reiziel.
Then began my evening ritual: channel surfing. It starts with CNN, and ends with Sky News, if I'm lucky. I don't know why I like watching the news. Deaths in Lebanon, poverty worldwide, corruption somewhere else. But that's jsut me. I'm usually fascinated with how events can develop so fast, and no one can predict what happens next. And everyone was just shocked to find Shiyah blasting last night. Sad sad sad.
So Colin the happy housemate came to the rescue, and after finishing his laundry offered a glass of Bailey's, which I believe I really really needed. So ok, he gave me the liberty to channel surf, so I did, but got stuck on CNN again. I watched for a good 5 minutes, until Colin said he couldn't take it, could we please watch something lighter, please please please Zeena, so I went on with my surfing. Then we found something realy interesting, a British teen flick. The humor was very different from other chick flicks. Sarcasm, dryness, slapstick all put together to create chaos in SUZIE GOLD's life. Plus, they're a Jewish family, so that's something new (for five months I've been observing Muslim laws and customs). But what I really liked about it is the theme song --- GOLD by Spandau Ballet, sang by maybe Suzie Gold herself or some teen Brit. It's probably a B movie or some independent film (I don't know, I haven't researched yet, sorry), but it made me feel a hundred times better. And I thank God Colin was an optimist, so he can somehow lighten my burden by suggesting thigns like "let's change the channel".
For more about SUZIE GOLD, please Google it. And try to watch it. Nothing special in terms of storyline and special effects, but it DID have a special effect on me. I cheered up and slept peacefully.
"You are GOLD! Always believe in your soul... You've got the power to know, you're indestructible...Always believe it....GOLD! Glad that you;re bound to return, something I should've learned...you're indestructible ....."
Good morning Indians!
Right now one corner of our office is being renovated. The big ugly cabinets are being replaced by sophisticated magazine racks that don't take up too much space.
Idama, mostly Indians, is the team in charge of renovations and cleaning and of all of Dubai Media City and Dubai Internet City. They have a reputation for procrastinating, like it was their favorite sport (next to cricket of course). Now I'm watching them, rummaging through their toolkits, drilling holes in the wall, lifting giant shelves and tiptoe-ing, trying not to step on any magazine or newspaper that occupied most of the corner space. You really have to give it to them. They work very very hard and I bet they are not well compensated. And now I want to give them water or tea with milk (I think that's an Indian favorite), but I can't even bring myself to look them in the eye. I'm afraid that if they smile at me I'd just burst into tears. How can some peoplve live like this? Working all day, sometimes out in the sun at 50 degrees, and receiving only enough for them not to die of hunger?
This is something I am not sure how to deal with, but well, ok, I'll smile at them on their way out.
Idama, mostly Indians, is the team in charge of renovations and cleaning and of all of Dubai Media City and Dubai Internet City. They have a reputation for procrastinating, like it was their favorite sport (next to cricket of course). Now I'm watching them, rummaging through their toolkits, drilling holes in the wall, lifting giant shelves and tiptoe-ing, trying not to step on any magazine or newspaper that occupied most of the corner space. You really have to give it to them. They work very very hard and I bet they are not well compensated. And now I want to give them water or tea with milk (I think that's an Indian favorite), but I can't even bring myself to look them in the eye. I'm afraid that if they smile at me I'd just burst into tears. How can some peoplve live like this? Working all day, sometimes out in the sun at 50 degrees, and receiving only enough for them not to die of hunger?
This is something I am not sure how to deal with, but well, ok, I'll smile at them on their way out.
Monday, August 07, 2006
shiny red balloon by barbie's cradle
im keepin my affair in a book
so this is how a villain feels
theyre running seasons in my chest
and im only to keep them
maybe its not true
love on the tv
just like we imagine it
and its so hard to do
when theres always some distraction
a shiny red balloon
that spoils everything
im keepin my affair in a book
such practical and harmless vice
but im feelin it could end up painfully
and the tv should apologize
im keepin my affair in a book
my long and lonely compromise
how can you live like that my dear
well we do
it spoils everything
so this is how a villain feels
theyre running seasons in my chest
and im only to keep them
maybe its not true
love on the tv
just like we imagine it
and its so hard to do
when theres always some distraction
a shiny red balloon
that spoils everything
im keepin my affair in a book
such practical and harmless vice
but im feelin it could end up painfully
and the tv should apologize
im keepin my affair in a book
my long and lonely compromise
how can you live like that my dear
well we do
it spoils everything
One thing about Arabs, thet are either very sweet and helpful or arrogant and frank about how much they hate your face.
One thing about Filipinos, they are either very sincere and helpful or they can stab your back for kicks.
One thing about the Brits, they can either be bubbly and up for a talk or snobbish and cold.
One thing about me, I either have very profound realizations or very shallow observations, like the above.
One thing about you, you read my blog and I like that! Thanks!
One thing about Filipinos, they are either very sincere and helpful or they can stab your back for kicks.
One thing about the Brits, they can either be bubbly and up for a talk or snobbish and cold.
One thing about me, I either have very profound realizations or very shallow observations, like the above.
One thing about you, you read my blog and I like that! Thanks!
Gotta Be Pretty!
Does a woman really need to be pretty in order to succeed in her career?
I think so. I spend lots of time dolling up (sometimes to no avail) because I believe that looking good will make me feel genuinely happy, and therefore confident. Others will notice that, including the boss, and he will have more faith in me that I can do things fabulously on my own.
This is the reason why my upper lip is itching. I waxed it last night and now I have tiny bumps all over it. Anyone wanna connect the dots?
Anyway back to the need to be pretty. Yes, I think women need to make an effort to look good. Feminists will shoot me in the head for this, but yeah! Some women just go forward because they look good. But we don't really want to be one of them. We want to be good-looking and smart. There are times when we will feel dumb, and we can always think at least we're pretty. Or prior to our period we'll fell ugly and fat, but we still have our brains so we're not about to lose it yet.
What happens if we feel dumb and ugly at the same time? Well, we try to redeem ourselves by reading a book or trying a new beauty product.
Ok so what happens if we're too poor to buy a book or a beauty product? Hehehehe.
I think so. I spend lots of time dolling up (sometimes to no avail) because I believe that looking good will make me feel genuinely happy, and therefore confident. Others will notice that, including the boss, and he will have more faith in me that I can do things fabulously on my own.
This is the reason why my upper lip is itching. I waxed it last night and now I have tiny bumps all over it. Anyone wanna connect the dots?
Anyway back to the need to be pretty. Yes, I think women need to make an effort to look good. Feminists will shoot me in the head for this, but yeah! Some women just go forward because they look good. But we don't really want to be one of them. We want to be good-looking and smart. There are times when we will feel dumb, and we can always think at least we're pretty. Or prior to our period we'll fell ugly and fat, but we still have our brains so we're not about to lose it yet.
What happens if we feel dumb and ugly at the same time? Well, we try to redeem ourselves by reading a book or trying a new beauty product.
Ok so what happens if we're too poor to buy a book or a beauty product? Hehehehe.
im in a rut!
I am often in a rut and I wonder what's eating me.
Most of the time I am distressed over something I cannot really identify. Somehow whatever it is that makes me sad remains in the dark. I had tried so many times to sit down, talkt to myself and name that one thing that always causes me to feel so low, but I usually end up getting more confused. More stressed.
You don't really just get out of a slump by lighting a candle and closing your eyes. When the candle dies and you open your eyes, you're back in the dark.
Maybe when I finally feel much better, I'll be able to name that sadness by determing what made me feel happy. Noh? Tingin mo?
Most of the time I am distressed over something I cannot really identify. Somehow whatever it is that makes me sad remains in the dark. I had tried so many times to sit down, talkt to myself and name that one thing that always causes me to feel so low, but I usually end up getting more confused. More stressed.
You don't really just get out of a slump by lighting a candle and closing your eyes. When the candle dies and you open your eyes, you're back in the dark.
Maybe when I finally feel much better, I'll be able to name that sadness by determing what made me feel happy. Noh? Tingin mo?
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