I have a new record for my lowest point in life, thus erasing the bitter memory of last year.
I picked up chocolate from the garbage bin.
I was so hungry and craving something sweet and the chocolate was right there, and it was staring at me and I felt sorry for it.
So I fished poor Mr. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup out of the trash and enjoyed it with green tea.
Nothing is wrong with that.
Don't waste food, don't waste waste.
God I love dirty chocolate.

"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even."
– Muhammad Ali

Here Lies Love

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/breakfast/8588831.stm

Scottish-born musician David Byrne collaborated with artists such as FatBoy Slim and Tori Amos to produce here Lies Love, an album inspired by Philippines' former first lady Imelda Marcos.
That is so weird and also an awesome concept.
Haven't listened to the whole album but it should be interesting.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8670594.stm

I just got schooled.
So yeah this is pretty much what happened...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/country_profiles/1264117.stm

I knew that shrimp was bad.
Never eat seafood embedded in a shady-looking salad displayed in a convenience store.
I am probably suffering from mild food poisoning, the kind that doesn't make you go to the toilet but blurs your vision and affects your appetite.
Cross-eyed and feeling physically weak, I shall carry on with work.
A love and hate relationship with seafood is not uncommon here.
Just didn't think it would happen to me, a Manila native with a stomach that endured years of eating chicken intestines between university classes.
And also mother said I ate my own crap when I was a baby.
So that shrimp must have been really really expired.

Justin does Stevie

He is so adorable.
For real, Bill.
Don't judge me.

Diabetic much?

Kitkat recently came out with a dark version.
My favorite break time buddy is healthier and yummier and keeps me alive at 5 PM in the office.
Three more hours to go and I can jauntily bounce off to wherever I want to go.
Which is usually home.
But honestly I don't really want to eat anything sugary.
I'm kind of psyching myself to be allergic to sweets.
Or anything or anyone sweet.
Is that even possible?
If I had a better option I would ditch this biatch.
But right now it's the best wake-upper the convenience store.
Give me a break.

Washington deputy mayor a Filipina | The Philippine Star News News Feature

Washington deputy mayor a Filipina | The Philippine Star News News Feature

I've been on the internet scavenging information about Jesse James's mistress Michelle McGee.
And it is not worth it.
I can't see one single thing in her that would make me say, "Okay, I can see why Jesse hit on her."
Wow. He would trade Sandra Bullock for a dumb stripper?
The more I know about men, the less I understand.
Dissecting a guy's brains is as good as trying to untangle a ball of yarn that a mean cat has been playing with.
The more you try to figure it out the more screwed you get.
I am afraid that I still don't know the answer.
So best to say no until I find a reason to say yes.
Ok you bombshell. I wish I could cyber slap you for my fellow Leo Sandra.

Cougar Town is funny. Full stop.

Cougar Town is funny.
And scary.
I guess I got hooked because the kind of humor the show has is something that makes me want to stay home after a long day at work, and not wander in some mall praying for something exciting to happen after business news got the best of my Monday.
But also, each episode rubs in my face the realer-than-real realities of aging, and even though I am only approaching 30, it is a touchy subject for me.
But then I snap out of my foolish thoughts and go back to laughing at the harsh truths the characters lash out throughout the show.
So Cougar Town is funny again.
And hello I am not yet a Cougar.
But once dated a much younger guy and both our heads exploded.
So that was a premonition.
Nah.
Cougar Town is funny.

10 Little Things OFWs, Balikbayans and Pinoy Expats Could Do To Help by Atty. Alexander L. Lacson

a) Spend your vacation, your dollars, in our Philippines

It is understandable for our OFWs, balikbayans and Pinoy expats to spend vacation in other countries. The world is truly beautiful and majestic. But please do spend some of your vacation, and some of your dollars, in our Philippines. Every dollar that you bring into our country will help build our Philippines. It will help our tourism industry. It will mean more sales and more jobs for our local industries. It will mean an increase in our country’s international dollar reserves. It will help stabilize the Peso. And ultimately, it will help stabilize our economy.

{mosgoogle}b) Teach your relatives back home to be good citizens & good Filipinos

Whether or not you are sending money to your relatives in the Philippines, you are one of their heroes. They look up to you as models. They listen to every word you say, to whatever you tell them. Please teach them to become good Filipinos, to become good citizens. They can start with my book - 12 Little Things Every Filipino Can Do To Help Our Country. Please ask them to help me spread the message of the book. In particular, please ask them to “Buy local. Buy Pilipino.” In an article in one of the recent issues of TIME Magazine, it was said that the most crucial factor for economic progress is not foreign investments, but economic nationalism, i.e., when people learn to support their own country’s products.

c) All OFWs, Balikbayans and Pinoy Expats should do more during elections in RP

In the next and all future elections, the OFWs and Balikbayans and Pinoy expats should do more by helping your relatives back home in choosing the right leaders - “the national ones especially" - for our country. Your relatives at home will surely listen to you. This means that as OFWs and expats, you need to surf the internet and read the news so you’ll know the candidates who should be elected to office. There are organizations and websites which can help you on this.

If is true that there are at least 8 million OFWs all over the world now, and if it is also true that every Filipino has at least 4 family members or relatives, then the 8 million OFWs have at least 32 million relatives back home in the Philippines. This means that the OFWs and their families, by their own numbers, can already change and transform the political leadership in the Philippines, our government, and eventually our nation as a whole.

d) Buy Pilipino, wherever you are in the world

If you look at the Japanese and the (South) Koreans, wherever they are in the world, they buy and patrionize their own products. They are like that too in the Philippines. That’s why there are so many Korean stores sprouting all over the country now. The Chinese, Thais and Malaysians are almost like them too, but in a less passionate manner.

We Filipinos have a trait of preference for imported products - the so-called “colonial mentality” - because we were ruled and controlled by the Spaniards for 333 years up to 1898, and by the Americans thereafter up to 1946. Truly, while they ruled us, they made us believe that only the Spanish and American products, ideas and ways were better and superior. And that ours were inferior.

But that’s history. Our Philippines today is different. There are many good Filipinos now, with equally good Filipino products or bands. Look at Bayo, Kamiseta, Bench, Penshoppe, Jollibee, among others. In fact, some of the best branded products you see in New York, London and Italy are made in our Philippines.

Please be an ambassador of the Filipino, by wearing Pilipino. Show to your foreign spouses and officemates and to the world, the elegance of our culture and beauty of our people. All these things begin with us, with each one of us.

e) Adopt a poor child as a scholar back home

According to government sources, around 40% of our people are poor. But according to our bishops from CBCP, the figure is much higher than that, possibly at 63%. Since we have a population of almost 86 million now, please imagine how many is 63% of that. And most of the poor are children, young children a great many of whom are out there in the streets, because their parents cannot afford to send them to school. Is there something that we, in the private sector, can do to help the many poor around us, particularly the children?

My proposal is this - let’s adopt as scholars our poor children in the streets.

There is this group called World Vision. It is an international foundation which does scholarship for poor children in different areas of the Philippines. It is also operating in more than 100 countries around the world today. Under World Vision, you can adopt a poor child as scholar for only P450 per month. Yes, for only P450 a month. If P450 is expensive for you, convince your best friend to pay half of the P450 monthly. You and your best friend will be partners in adopting 1 scholar.

If you wish, World Vision can give you the name, address and personal profile of your scholar so you can talk or write to your scholar.

Can you imagine if we are able to convince 5 million Filipinos (including OFWs, Balikbayans and Pinoy expats) today, each one wiling to sponsor 1 scholar each under World Vision? It means that 5 million poor children will be taken out of the streets – where they are exposed to all kinds of criminality – and sent to school as scholars. This means that 5 million poor children are given the chance to have a better future.

This could be one of the fastest paths to progress and social transformation in our country. And this is a very Christian way. Even Jesus Christ, who was born very poor in a manger, had to be adopted by Joseph.

f) Support a charitable organization

There are many good charitable organizations that truly help build our Philippines to become a better place for all of us. Gawad Kalinga, Pondo ng Pinoy, Caritas Manila, World Vision, among others. These groups are beyond the dirt and mirth of politics.

Like most of us, you too are busy. Often, you will have not the time and skills to help others. Charitable organizations are there to allow us to help others while we are busy. So please seriously consider this. Every little help that you send will help one poor Filipino, often one poor child, in our country.

g) Teach your children about the Philippines, and to love it and its people

Teach your children and your foreign spouses, wherever you are in the world, about our Philippines - the home of the Filipino, and the birthplace of our race.

Let your children and foreign spouses hear it from you - that you appreciate and love our Philippines. Because if they hear and see it from you, their beloved, they too will appreciate and love our Philippines. Or they will find a way, sooner or later, to appreciate and love it, because, as I said, you are their beloved. I see that all the time, everywhere, in practically all the fathers and mothers in this world. Their sons and daughters often carry and continue their parents’ loves, causes and advocacies.

If you make your children see and hear that you love our Philippines, believe me, someday your children would grow up with love and admiration for the Philippines in their hearts and minds.

h) Speak positively about our Philippines and our people

Surely, there are things that will disappoint and dishearten you in the Philippines, especially if you look at our government and the politicians who run it and those businessmen whose companies earn so much but pay very little to their employees.

But there are also many good things in our Philippines. We are a race capable of greatness and excellence, and you see this in the likes of Lea Salonga, Dr Josette Biyo, Diosdado Banatao, Efren Reyes, Ninoy Aquino, Jose Rizal, among many others. Except for our leaders, we are essentially a breed of honest people, and you see this in the likes of Nestor Sulpico, the Filipino driver in New York who, on 17 July 2004, drove 43 miles from New York to Connecticut, USA to return the US$80,000 worth of rare black pearls to his passenger who forgot it at the rear back seat of his taxi. We are a people of truly good hospitality even to strangers, and a people who are very forgiving, and very caring of our olds. There is so much humanity and Christianity in us as a people. I really believe that, someday, we can be the most, if not one of the most, beautiful peoples on earth.

We just really have to learn to elect our leaders properly. If we learn to do that, we can be a great people and a great nation.

What I am saying is this. Let us focus on our beauty and strengths, and build from there. If we have beauty and strengths as our foundations, we can only get beautiful and strong from there. You and all the Pinoy expats and OFWs should be, and could be, the best ambassadors for our home country and people. Rafael Salas, the founder of the United Nations’ Population Fund, said that every Filipino is an ambassador of our country.

i) If you are remitting funds to your relatives in the Philippines, teach them to save 15% or 20% of the funds

If you are remitting funds to your relatives in the Philippines, please teach them to save at least 15% or 20% of the funds. Please teach your relatives the importance of savings. These savings seem small at the start, but even only after 2 years of savings, they would already see the growth of their savings and how fast these are growing.

Teach them also to take their savings away from their reach, and invest them in high-yielding investments like mutual funds or treasury bonds. There are many good financial advisers in this area. Teach your relatives to consult one on a regular basis. The book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” of Robert Kiyosaki is very good on this matter. The book “Pera Mo, Palaguin Mo” of Filipino author Francisco Colayco is also a very good here.

These savings, if handled and invested wisely, could mean the financial independence of your relatives from you in the future, or even from themselves.

Teach your relatives too to live simply, and not to spend so much on consumer items that are unnecessary. There is so much beauty in simplicity. There is so much elegance in modesty.

j) Invest in the Philippines

Finally, if you have extra funds and are looking where to invest them, please invest in our Philippines. There are good investment advisers who can help you in this regard. Philippines is a growing market - an emerging market in the language of international banks and financial institutions. Almost 86 million in population. If you have investment ideas that can cater to the basic needs and desires of these 86 million Filipinos, you will make it big in our Philippines.

But more than that, every cent or dime that you invest in the Philippines will certainly help our people and our country. And when you do it, you become our partner in building our nation. You become a good Filipino. You become a hero of our country.

******
Atty. Alexander L. Lacson is the author of the Book “12 Little Things Every Filipino Can Do To Help Our Country .” He wrote the article “10 Little Things OFWs, Balikbayans & Pinoy Expats Could Do To Help Develop Our Philippines” as a reply to the request of PinoyExpats Magazine (May 2006), an online magazine based in Europe.

I spent the morning taking up Noynoy 101 at my desk. Time Magazine's vivid recollection of the people power days sparked something inside me . All of a sudden I got goosebumps and tears streamed down my face. And I suddenly wish I had registered to vote to proclaim my support for Noynoy Aquino.

His platform, found on his website, promises to take Filipinos....

"From a government that treats its people as an export commodity and a means to earn foreign exchange, disregarding the social cost to Filipino families... to a government that creates jobs at home, so that working abroad will be a choice rather than a necessity; and when its citizens do choose to become OFWs, their welfare and protection will still be the government’s priority."

AMEN.

Noynoy

I was born on the first death anniversary of Benigno Aquino.
For decades after his wife's term as president, the Aquinos have kept a low profile, except for Kris.
Noynoy has been quietly serving the country as a senator, and now he is in the center of the Philippine's political arena, exposed and obliged to reveal a little more than what the public already knows.
It's barely two months before elections and I hope that more people will see what this man is all about.
More importantly, if he does win and take his oath as the next president of my country, I pray to my God and yours that he will make our nation a better one.

Jizzed in My Pants by The Lonely Island

Ever heard of sulphur burps and farts?
That is the grossest form of flatulence that exists.
It's like farting from the mouth and the butt.
And it smells like death and makes you wonder what you could have done to deserve it.
You're basically a walking fart machine.
Belch here, belch there.
It's like your stomach suddenly developed a mechanism for converting freshly inhaled air into rotten eggs.
I had it last weekend.
Recovering from it was like a second chance at life and being a woman.

Leslie Knope? Nope.

Before going to bed the other night Fifi said I was like Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation.
What exactly did she mean by that?
Leslie is thirty something and her biggest pleasure is her delusional dream of becoming the first female president of the US of A.
Also she is super positive about anything and everything.
She is also cute and funny and generally nice to everyone.
But she has really stupid ideas.
So I don't know which dimension of Leslie Knope's persona resembles me.
I guess I am really unique.
I could have easily been Anne.

This is the shizzle!
I mean, it's one thing to have an amazingly smooth and powerful voice, but to have lived in Taiwan and actually sing an English song without the chingchong accent?
I bet my blisters this dude has been practicing since he was a little chubby boy in a small town in Taiwan.
As he improved, he decided that the town was too tiny for his voice and his dreams, so he set out to the city to brave one of the country's largest auditions.
Still chubby.
Oh who cares.
Also I like his haircut.
I kind of know how to it.
When I was a kid my mom told me that hair style was achieved by placing a bowl on your head and cutting the fringes across the forehead just below the bowl.
Anyway.. the hair, the voice, the size, and the obvious charm this boy has will take him places where noodles aren't a staple food, but maybe even some kind of last resort for takeaway cooking is just too tiring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw8QK2w2EH0

What's more gross than discussing the details of explosive diarrhea?
Actually suffering from it.
And man am I suffering.
I'm on a crackers and banana diet, plus the occasional Gatorade.
I was super weak yesterday but oddly enough when I entered the office, I began to feel better.
Is work the answer to everything?

La Biblioteca ... Word. What, it's 20009!

I'm Rob Huebel's friend!
On Facebook, only the biggest social networking site in the world!
Hmmm our connection could go either way.
I could drown in his 3,800-strong group of friends, or I could be considered lucky that I'm in his Facebook friends group and not some loser site like FilipinaHeart.
Yeah maybe I'm lucky.

Worked my sore butt off today and it feels nice to retire at home and just lounge around like a retired businessman.

I am in my PJs that I haven't washed in months.

Fifi and I have made plans to watch a documentary about Coca Cola.

Also challenged myself to finish a liter of water before I go to bed.

Fifi and I are also writing a song about yogurt.

We're collaborating on a lot of creative things at the moment.

Songs, videos, comments on Roy's Facebook page.

We go waaaay back.

We wrote a rap song in high school in an attempt to survive Algebra class.

It's basically about why a mother should breast feed her monster baby.

So now the yogurt song.

It's going to be a measure of how much we have matured.

It will show in out lyrics and the rhythm.

We've written an awful lot, but my favorite lines are:

Hey fat but healthy man, watcha eatin'?

Well I'm eatin' a bug tub of Yogurberry!

We're still waiting to be further inspired.

Maybe our next visit to Yogurberry will allow us to come up with an awesome third verse.

Nanay Tuneng's sweet and chili tamarind + Happy garlic peanuts = toilet explosion

Whoa Jason I don't mind dialing your digits!
He's funny and a great musician and he looks really nice.
No, nothing to do with the nude scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Oh no God.

Roy greets me on Facebook chat with an Ang Pagbabalik ni Leon Guerrero video and news that he is once again in love.
That is disgusting.
Not because it's Roy trying to share his soft side with me, but because he's been saying that every month.
He's always in love it's a joke.
What happened to that girl he claimed was his high school love?
He dumped her by not replying to her text messages simply because it was taking a toll on his mobile card spending. What an ass.
And that singer at some bar in Ajman?
Well, he used the office phone to shamelessly flirt with her for a whole week.
Then he quit her cold turkey and said she was a slut.
Whoa whoa whoa.
And now he is in love again.
With a woman he will probably dump before seeing her for the second time.
Roy, you don't do that.
You don't claim you're in love with a girl for shits and giggles and then drop her like a hot tamale.
And spit out her name to your friends like sour milk.
I would prefer if you said you were just in it for the cookie.
And that you didn't have the patience to woo her for more than a week before she puts out.
Good thing I am Roy's friend.
If Mama Becky by any chance became his, she would really let him have it.

Before I sleep I spend ten heavenly minutes in the bathroom bathing in self-love.
And yet in the morning I always wish I had a bigger rack.
These things won't even fill a tiny shirt.
This morning was a bit different though.
At least I thought so.
I threw my insecurity in an ocean of denial and used lots of safety pins to tighten my dress in the front a little bit.
Still no cleavage. Really.
Might need to spend a couple of hours in the bath tonight.

Paul Scheer is my new favorite

"I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something. Say, instead, that you are doing it. Then fasten your seat belt. The most remarkable things follow."
– Julia Cameron

Another One About My Sister

Ok Zoe is turning 15 in a couple of months.

She just blossomed into a pretty young thing.

She was cute and chubby ten years ago.

Total transformation.

When I turned fifteen, I had teeth.

When I was five I didn't.

That was it.

But my sister is just killing it.

I can totally get over the fat date.

Her growth is just unbelievable.

Human Giant: Commercial Jingles (Part 1)

Human Giant: Commercial Jingles Part 2

Philippine Tourism AVP

Human Giant: Let's Go

This is dope.

Roy baffled me with a question on Facebook chat.
"Zeena, pano ba maging ninja?"
Oookay.
And I can't believe the answer is on the internet!
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Ninja
And Wikihow suggests that playing Parkour will actually lead to ninja-hood.
That is unbelievable.
So there is actually a possibility that Roy will eventually become a ninja.
Wow. Talk about waste of ambition.
No offense to ninjas, but seriously, do these guys have health insurance?
I sent the link to him anyway.
It's his call.
If he does become one in the near future, I'm going to consult Wikihow on how to become god.

Sundays

I don't hate Sundays.
How could I.
It used to be the day for church in the morning and reserving the rest of the afternoon watching ASAP and The Buzz.
Sometimes Greenhills was on the agenda.
And now it's the first day of the week.
It's the day I psyche myself to get ready for five days of everything and nothing.
Okay.
Sundays are great in general.
Another weekend has come and gone and another week ahead is bound to challenge my intellect, patience and ability to work under the premise that I would rather not.
Sometimes I think a particular Sunday starts out wrong and the rest of the week will follow through, but then on Tuesday or Wednesday something incredibly awesome happens.
And just like that, Sunday is forgotten.
So yeah I don't hate Sundays.
Sometimes I have a feeling that it hates me.
But I keep my middle finger down and relax my fist.

ENCARNACION - NACHO LIBRE

Fifi and I sang this for two straight days.

It never ever gets old.

No no no no no no way Jose.

Raaaaaaaandy and I have the same shizzo going on. Before Funny People was even conceived, I already used the multiple vowel method to excite my fanbase. I created my Yahoo email address, zeenahhh@yahoo.com I used three H's because "zeena" wasn't available. Anyway the H was supposed to be pronounced in a perky way, as if you just took a sip of the best soda in the world. Not as if you were trying to seduce someone but to no avail. Zeena is not a sexy name.

So anyway I'm psyched to have realized that Raaaaaaaandy and I have some things in common when it comes to humor and keeping the crowd going gaga. One noticeable difference between us is, there is actually a crowd cheering him on in his neck of the woods.

I want a black doll now. It's the craziest thing ever. I love it.

I want a black rapping, beat-boxing, ass kicking doll.
I saw one at Festival City and I am begging Fifi to buy it for me.
It's a mass-produced rapping brotha with "Hip Hop" proudly written on his shirt.
And guess what. When you press his hand he busts out a mean rap song.
I want that toy! I want that toy!

Also if there is a Raaaaaaaandy doll I would love one as well.
Randy with 8 A's.
Loooooooooooooool.
In yo' face!

Al Jazeera English - Asia-Pacific - Thai demonstrators 'draw blood'

Al Jazeera English - Asia-Pacific - Thai demonstrators 'draw blood'

Okay. Very symbolic.
Disgusting too.
If one of them had a deadly disease that could be spread all over Bangkok through this bizarre form of protest, that would be a bigger story.
These guys are waaay too advance for me.
Political unrest is a common thing in most parts of the world.
But trust the Southeast Asians to color it bad. And red.
Here's a high five to the Thais for setting us back a hundred more years!

Flight of the Conchords: Bret and Jemaine meet Jim

Annoying new friends.
Classic.
Cracked me up big time.

HBO Boxing: Pacquiao vs. Clottey - Face-Off w/ Max Kellerman (HBO)

Media savvy much?
I wish he never had a mistress, because I used to respect him 100%, grammar and all.

Aziz Ansari - Walking With Dinosaurs

Investopedia says....

I am officially a ghetto sista. How cool is that!
Actually Investopedia's term for it is....

Slumburbs.
What Does Slumburbs Mean?A slang term for the suburbs of once large and prosperous cities that have become less desirable due to an economic downturn. Slumburbs refer to the neighborhoods and small towns that cannot consistently attract highly educated and entrepreneurial people. As a result, business in these previously hopeful communities diminishes leading to such negative outcomes as unemployment and crime. Slumburbs can also refer to areas in otherwise wealthy cities that experience similar problems.
Investopedia explains
Slumburbs In contrast to the poor neighborhoods found in California and New York, which are often referred to as "ghettos", slumburbs have regular real estate developments and required amenities such as parks and schools. At one point, these areas were prosperous and saw increased real estate deveolpment, but became too expensive for the potential or current owners. Due to a high level of foreclosure in such areas, families move away, leaving vacant homes that fall into disrepair. These types of communities usually arise during tough economic times.

International City was once a nice place, you know. Now it only looks nice after a nice downpour, when rain water instantly washes away the dust on buildings and streets, revealing the original bright peach hue of my building, not to mention its royal blue roof.
Our parking lot, once filled with fourwheel drive vehicles owned my residents who went out on weekends and led typical yuppie lives were replaced by commercial vehicles used to transport fruits and vegetables, move furniture, and you get the picture.
A number of crimes, mostly murders, have also taken place here.
People have no time to get rid of their garbage properly, exchange pleasantries, and some times, shower.
But they do have time to spit on the floor, get into fights, and kill me with dirty looks in the lift.
Only thing missing is a gang of crack-dealing thugs and maybe your friendly neighborhood rap group to keep the place upbeat in the face of adversity. And if they do rise to stardom, we be like "They our brothas!"
Holla!!!!!!!!!!

An Awwww-some Farewell

From 2006 throughout 2009, I witnessed people leaving the company and moving on.

They would get a pat on the back, a handshake, a smile and best wishes.

Some people chip in to buy something nice, like a cake and maybe a small gift.

I had always thought I would make a quiet exit eventually, without anyone noticing or missing me or thinking why my desk has been deserted.

I was wrong. These people actually like me!

They bought me ice cream because they knew I was not fond of cake.

And they got it from Coldstone, and it reminded me of the craaazy bit in Aziz Ansari's monologue about that damn creamery.

They gave me two books (aaawesome) and threw in some chick-chick-chicken, courtesy of the hippest GMO chain in the world, KFC.

Okay here's the best part...

Khadijah made a video of everyone in the office bidding farewell to me.

It was very, very touching.

Ganda, Sonia, Evelyn, Natasha, Usman.

Roy just tear-blocking everyone in the team.

Suraj calling me Gina.

Aziz singing Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. (Proud to say I taught him that! Not bad. Now he speaks Pashtu, knows how to say different body parts in English and Tagalog, and sings the latest hits on Virgin Radio.)

And then, as if that wasn't enough to fill my heart with gladness and replace the smoke in my lungs with gratitude, they gave me a shirt.

Its design was a collection of pictures of me sleeping on the job.

It was all Sonia's idea. She took a picture of me every time I fell asleep at my desk.

Every single time.

Did I drool and snore? I don't know okay, but I can pretty much manage some serious REM in 5 minutes, seated, with my hand on my chin and my eyes leveled with the headline of some news website.

Anyway the shirt said, "Why Think When You Can Meditate?"

Finally, someone who understands me!

It was overwhelming and I just realized that that it was a far cry from the goodbye I imagined before. I was thinking: pack bags, empty drawers, scram.

They gave me: Awwwwwwww.

Because, as the expression implies, I'm awwwesome.

This is my last day at work and I'm trying to keep things quiet.
Mainly because I'm sad and I will miss these guys.
We had KFC for lunch and (here's the scoop) ... I am guessing they are going to surprise me with ice cream later! Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!
I love ice cream. It just makes me really happy.
Ok how did I know? I saw a scooper on the office table.
Uh duh. If that's not for ice cream it must be for measuring the loose change we have right before we get our salaries every single month.
So yeah it's definitely ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My colleagues love me as much as a I love them! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How often does one resign and get ice cream?
Suck on that.

pilipinas got talent rolando.avi

love the bungal look!

The Killers-Mr.Brightside (Acoustic)

I seriously think I have more estrogen in my body than what is needed to keep me female. It's driving me nuts. I hate snapping at people but it's my hormones doing all the evil things and I have no control over them!

I am sooo girly like that I hate.

And yet I have a mustache.

HOW I BECAME A MILLIONAIRE WITHOUT EVEN TRYING

EXECUTIVE ROYAL AWARD
Company Reg No: 2004/079414/23
PHYSICAL ADD: No 12, BRIGHT STREET
SANDTON, 4050 P O BOX 216637.
JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA.

IN CONJUNCTION WITH
SOUTH AFRICA 2010
WORLD CUP LOCAL ORGANIZING COMMITTEE

we happily announce to you the draw of the EXECUTIVE ROYAL AWARD held last month in JOHANNESBURG. YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WAS SELECTED ON THE COMPUTER PROMOTIONAL BALLOT SYSTEM DRAW, AS ONE OF THE WINNING EMAIL ADDRESS ON THE INTERNET COMPUTER AWARD DRAW. You have won $2, 000, 000, 00 (TWO MILLION, UNITED STATES DOLLAR)

FOR MORE ENQUIRIES AND INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT:
(MR. FRANKLIN EDWARD)
THE DIRECTOR OF INFORMATION
INFORMATION DEPARTMENT ON EMAIL ADDRESS:
(franklinedward@gala.net)

SINCERELY,
MRS. CHARLOTTE NELSON
DIRECTOR OF PROMOTION,
EXECUTIVE ROYAL AWARD.
No 12, BRIGHT STREET
SANDTON, 4050 P O BOX 216637.
JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA.

You have to note that this program is being sponsored by the FIFA SUPPORT AFRICAN TEAM, to create awareness for the coming 2010 world Cup, which is to be host by South Africa.

Friday Pig Out

Ok yesterday's events were a blur to me.

I ate so much it affecteed my brain, and the fact that Fifi burst out laughing every five seconds wasn't very helpful at all. That means I laughed too and took more air in, making my brain more bloated than usual, like my tummy.

Fifi and I justified our pig out day by thinking that our time of the month is just around the corner and we are entitled to act like middle-aged balding men who have lost hope in their lives, and could therefore eat anything they fancied.

The menu was awesome.

We alternated between sweet and salty.

Flip, non-Flip.

Everything was dirt cheap.

The deep friend stuff didn't look healthy, but as Fifi said, we are so immune to bacteria.

We could eat street rats if we wanted too.

Enjoy the pictures! (nicked them off the internet)

It is so much fun to work for TV.
I'm talking Cougartown, The Office and you know the rest.
It would be cool to write scripts for a comedy series.
I would like to play the character of a super dumb but super endearing girl who works as a mechanic for a garage in a small town.
I just recently learned how to change tires.
Also overalls are flattering. As well as grease on my face.
Okay that just flowed right out of my fingers onto the keyboard.

It's someone's birthday at work today. Great weekender.
She is actually the third celebrant of this month.
It's good to celebrate birthdays at the office.
She will get a cake and blows loads of candles after the whole office give their heart-warming rendition of the Happy Birthday song, and then she cuts the cake and we all have a piece and we go back to work after a few minutes of chit chat.
And if we're lucky, the company will have the budget for buckets of KFC.
And don't forget the Pepsi for that explosive burp that concludes the celebration.
I received two cakes in 2008 when I celebrated my birthday here.
I liked that. I would have loved it if people started throwing slices of cake at each other and waged a well-documented massive food fight.
I don't know if I will ever receive a brithday cake at work in the future.
The people here are so sweet. They just have so much time in their hands and they make use of it to touch our lives. Why did I just laugh at what I wrote.
When I leave, I don't want no cake. Don't want no Coke either.
Maybe a toast or something. Or a cheer composed by the news team.
Something really fun and original. Like a motorcade with a big banner with my face on it.
Is that too much to ask of them? Maybe.
That would be cool though.

The Office - Steve Carell on Michael Scott

A plausible definition of Michael Scott's character.
I love Steve Carrell.

There is always one thing that will be compromised when you make a very difficult decision.
Otherwise, where's the difficulty in that?
But you know, there is always a way to iron out the wrinkly parts of your life.
Time is the greatest steam iron in the world and beyond.
That's why healing is very much associated with it.
And of course if you choose to make use of that time wisely, you do your best to make things better, and cross your fingers that one morning the agony is gone and you're ready to really forego the what-ifs.
As far as you're concerned, the decision that you have made is right.
It is right to you, because you think it is the best thing for you.
And so the other choice that didn't make the cut has to fade away in your mind.
Of course the memories are still there.
Memories are good. They make me smile.
The songs, the thoughts, the journal entries and the other crazy details.
So yeah. Time, memories. We're good.

I really tried my best not to make this sound sappy.
Okay.

I had sugar overdose today.
Cake, KFC, chocolate, coffee and a bagel the size of my thighs.
Oh God let's not even go there.
Even though they look really good when I'm wearing heels, it's such a nightmare to look at them.
But thighs are good. They're my favorite part of fried chicken and Beyonce's body.
I used to hate mine because they're just... there.
They push each other away but as long as they're attached to my pelvis, they can never get rid of each other.
But ok, I'm done obssessing about my big girls.
They're here to stay unless I resort to amputation.
Zeena's thighs repruzent!

James Morrisson was great at the Jazz Fest.
Ok, I saw his face on the projector with garbage bags in the foreground.
And I listened to him play You Give Me Something and Man in the Mirror from a block away.
Mae and I decided to check things out at the even even though we didn't have tickets, and it worked out perfectly.
We didn't have to pay but we managed to enjoy live music.
Me love him long time.

Ok I don't understand how my dermatologist is also a doctor for sexually transmitted diseases.
Doctor, doctor, I am sick, I either have acne or herpes. Either way cure me please?
Anyway I am very happy with him, because he gave me the perfect medication and it doesn't make me want to kill myself at all, like it says in the label. So yeah that side effect didn't hit me.
I am on to my third month and I am seeing great progress.
Also he makes sure that my liver can take the medicine, which means I will have better skin but also I won't die in the next couple of years.
By the way I am being treated for zits.
On the face, not the kuchikoo.

On Tiger Woods' Public Apology

Brave move, but it took him a long time to co-write or approve those words on that piece paper.
Sorry was enough, and the rest of the time could have been utilized doing stuff for Elin at home.
Like a long warm tight hug.
In my opinion it was only semi-honest. It was one of those things that could tone down murmurs in the media corner.
Also, Buddhism? Seriously. Before you go back to the religion your mother taught you about, keep mum and stay in rehab until you're ok.
But ok the intention was comendable.
So let him work on his private life and hopefully Elin will find it in her heart to forgive him.
If that happens, any form of temptation or media scrutiny will not matter any more in the future.
Forget sponsors and career. Family is number one.
But finish rehab first.

Dumpling Drama

Mr. Chang's eyes grew way out of proportion upon learning that I didn't bring a camera crew to the Chinese New Year celebration at Radisson Hotel in Deira.

Earlier that day I had met him at a flower shop and he invited me and Roy to the celebrations, but I decided to bring Fifi along instead, thinking that it wouldn't really matter if Roy didn't show up with his hideous face and even more hideous appetite.

But it did matter to Mr. Chang, who was expecting a full TV coverage of the event. Fifi and I waved hello at him at the entrance of the ballroom. He nodded with a smile and instructed the hotel staff to make way for the camera.

"There is no camera, Mr. Chang," I explained cheerfully.

Then followed the crazy eye moment. For a split second I thought he would open his mouth and pick me up by the nape using giant chopsticks and eat me alive.

He pushed me out the door and yelled, "No! Get camela! Get camela! This is vely impoltant!"

Ooookay. I made a fake phone call to Roy and shook my head.

"No Mr. Chang, the cameraman has gone home already."

In an attempt to mask my agenda (food food food), I took out my notebook and started doodling away. Mr. Chang gave me a big smile and inquired, "You will put it in the newspaper?"
I smiled back and said, "Yes, like in the newspaper."
The word "like" absolved me of guilt of trickery caused by gluttony.

Whew. I thought my dumpling dreams would be zapped by this businessman's disappointment. He gestured for us to come in and led us to our seats, an obscure table near the bar, far from the center of the festivities and near the waiters. We actually didn't mind, because it was right next to the buffet area.

Oookay. I scribbled away as a group of lanky young men performed some kind of kung fu dance that I later on learned was called Wu Shu. I was introduced to a number of prominent Chinese businessmen in Dubai. I furiously pretended to write their names on the pages of my precious notebook given to me by Terri. But I didn't mind wasting paper. It was my responsibility to make sure that Fifi would come out of Radisson well-fed and happy.

Dinner was awesome. Dumplings, vegetables, and lots of wine.

But it turned out, the food wasn't the highlight of our evening. It was two Chinese girls called Alima and Flora. I'm sure those were not their real names, but I admire their audacity to change names for kicks. I spoke to them in Chinese and even sang a Chinese song, Ni Yaw Te Ai, from the sound track of the Taiwanese series Meteor Garden. They loooved me and Fifi.

We exchanged numbers and promised to get together some time. Not bad. A Tsino-Pinoy double date.

We scrammed after dinner and headed straight to the karaoke bar. The karaoke bar experience was... it was sort of... I kind of... ok the truth is, we shut it down.

And at midnight, we decided to do a Cinderella and go home.

Oh Mr. Chang. You made my day.

The Wallflowers - One Headlight

We can drive home with one headlight.
I already have.

Russian man pitches 'doomsday pod'

Investors, anyone?

I just realized that if I want to buy my dream house as soon as possible, I would have to win the lottery or come up with a really ingenious idea or an awesome invention that will serve all industries on the planet.
The Phillips Curve says that inflation in inversely proportional to unemployment.
If the unemployment rate is high, prices drop. Property, groceries, petrol.
But most people will not have the money to purchase anything at all because they don't have jobs.
If the unemployment rate is low, meaning most people have jobs and are able to pay their bills.
But if this Phillips guy is to be believed, their bills will be jacked up and they will won't be able to save much.
Hmmm. I would rather remain employed and afford certain luxuries and keep a little extra than be a bum and have nothing at all.
The best thing to do is cook up crazy ideas, and hope that one of them will be a big hit.
Big enough to get me out of this asylum we call the workforce.
And then I can cross out the "dream" in my dream house.

I am taking the road less travelled on Valentines Day.
Valentino is inexistente, and this calls for plan B.
Plan B is crashing a Chinese New Year party with Fifi and singing Kung Hei Fat Choi in our heads while stuffing our faces with siomai, mooncake, and lots of noodles.
I had planned on wearing a chiongsam but thought I'd save it for when I actually get invited to a Chinese party.
Mr. Chang and Mr. Chong and Mrs. Chin Chan Su will be happy to see us later, exchanging pleasantries with them in Mandarin.
Will they really?
我不知道 .
I have no idea.

Ganito kaming taga Makati - Binay Spoof

Hahahahahhahahah!!!!

Jason Castro - Clumsy

Perfect song for me.

Jason Castro "Daydream"

I'm convinced that he's part of a utopian world that only the happy ones can inhabit.
He just looks so peaceful and his voice is soothing.
Between this angel and coffee, I'd choose him to keep me going throughout the day.

Jason Castro Somewhere Over The Rainbow

The Mysteries

The mysteries of the Holy Rosary are a lot like our lives.
I think that we need to go through the joyful, sorrowful and glorious moments of our lives just to see where we stand at present.
It's nice to look back and sigh and give yourself a pat on the back when you realize that you're not doing bad at all.
There are people who are in worse situations, and you're just glad you have managed to survive and still have hope that things will be even better.
When I hold on to each bead and say the Hail Mary, I think that my decision to pray is actually working.
Every single prayer is heard by God and He is actually molding my future as I proclaim my beliefs.
It is a mystery that I should have all of this strength.
I honestly thought it was zapped a long time ago.
But hey I am still alive and I haven't given up yet.
There's no reason to.
I know I always forget or choose to be blinded by distractions.
But I have always believed, and now I choose to tell the world of His love.
He is my strength and He will always be number one on my list.
He's a cool dude for forgiving and forgetting and having entrusted me with a life worth living.
There are things that I will never understand, and they will remain a mystery forever.
But mysteries, though impossible to define, are a great way to learn about other people and myself.
The cirumstances remain bizarre and nameless and random, but they turn out to be the most significant events in my life.
And it is through these mysteries that I am able to see the light, and carry on.

Barack Obama on Ellen

Loool he got some moves.

Vote. Or Not.

I recently watched Mo Twister's interview with Ara Mina on his controversial talk show.
She is running for local office I believe.
Her answers were appalling.
Ok she is in favor of private armies.
She hasn't been following the Maguindanao massacre story because she claims to get depressed watching the news.
The only time she knows about anything that's been happening to the country is when she receives SMS news alerts.
And she is against premarital sex eventhough she used to strip in her movies for all the drunks (who are most likely to be the ones wreaking havoc over My Way in karaoke bars) and public school teenagers sporting bigotillos.
I know that our forefathers once fought a long and hard battle just so we natives could fill out ballots and have a voice in our own motherland, but at this point I think it pays to forego my right of suffrage.

February kicked in just fine for me.
I paid off my bills, did several short pieces to camera, and welcomed opportunities for professional growth.
Not bad if you asked me.
And I am not going to end with this month.
These are my hey days.
These years could pass me by and I wouldn't know what happened.
It's very challenging for me to accomplish my goals, because of several things.
Financial constraints.
Limited time.
Doubts.
Oh I hate doubts.
If I am going to do something, I should just go ahead and do it and forget about what other people might say, or how things will turn out.
I sometimes try to imagine what it would be like to know that you are dying soon.
If I had little time left on this planet, I would give myself the go signal to do things I never thought I would even try.
And then my senses come alive and suddenly I want to sing and dance and rap and love and eat that damn donut.
And then my doubts disappear and I just want to do things like a maniac.
And then, I clasp my hands together and thank God I am alive.
Ten fingers, ten toes, a brain and a heart.
And the doubts vanish into thin air.
And February simply won't suck.

My Way and Karaoke Murders: That's How We Roll

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/world/asia/07karaoke.html

I know I know I know it's silly that we have had half a dozen murders in karaoke bars because of the song "My Way", but read on maybe this article can give you a piece of our minds.

When you have a middle-aged man stuck in a rut somewhere in the slums of Manila, with the belief that opportunities have passed him by and he can never do anything his way again, the best thing is to sing a rather narcissistic (bordering on arrogant) tune by his idol. And when someone takes that moment away from him, that's the last straw.

Good Lord, some of us are really sick.

Bad Day?

Ok just when I thought I had a really nice day at work, the car made a funny sound just as I was reversing it in the parking lot. I had to change it with the help of Roy and go to the petrol station alone to have it vulcanized. That was a bit stressful.

On the way home, I imagined myself sinking slowly in a bath tub frothing with cherry blossom bubbles to the brim and enjoying a glass of wine. But I snapped out of it when the songs I had been avoiding to hear played on the radio like a feel-bad playlist dedicated to me. Okay.

It went on and on for the rest of the evening that I had to say a little prayer to help me keep bad vibes at bay and focus on the one thing that was left to look forward to tonight: a long, deep, uninterrupted sleep.

Obviously that hasn't happened yet. I am still furiously typing this.

Hopefully it will, in a few minutes.

Crush On Obama

I don't know if I had already posted this before.
This came out before Obama was chosen to run for president for the Democratic ticket.
Some quirky semi-political, semi-loony group made the song and the video.
I got a crush on Obama.

Nickelback - Rockstar [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Last night's concert was pretty awesome.
90 minutes of momentum and music.
Rock, pyros, beer and good company.
Plus I think Chad played this song on the acoustic guitar, which sounded really good.

gigs videoke-always

gigs videoke-lovestory (zin, zoe).MPG

Rrrroooomeo!

I finally accepted a position elsewhere. I am very excited to join a new company and just be in a different environment after more than three years.

But of course I will miss the guys here in the office, and the thrill of not knowing how my day will turn out, who I'll bump into and what kind of injury I will suffer from.

The guys here are the best. They have been very supportive, generous and most of all, fun.

I will keep my hideous pieces to camera, starring my offensively big teeth, in a very handy treasure chest we like to call hard drive.

And I will remember the lessons this company has taught me.

I practically grew up here, and it's because of my stay here that I actually had the guts to throw mysekf back in the jobhunt field again.

Progress in 2 days

The spelling is a bit rough but what the heck!

Estoy muy ocupado, pero no estoy cansado.
Quiero comprar veinte siete vestida porque estoy feliz!
Puedo ver la futura.
Es prospero!
Gracias, mi Dios!

Today I've got a different four-letter word

Cute.
These children performed on Ukraine's Got Talent.
Made my day.

There you go, a douchebag in bad packaging.
Earning frowns and snickers from an easy crowd.
Not the best scenario but a fitting way to surrender.
The greatest love of is only a song, as everyone learns eventually.
And the biggest loser is not just a reality show.
No pretenses, in no pretext, a douchebag.
In very bad packaging.

Lady GaGa - Bad Romance (Acoustic Cover)

Someday this girl is not only going to own a microphone, but a whole stage.

(Fujairah shoot with Roy)

I was running, rushing past the good stuff.
And then I realized, I didn't really need to.
No one is hurrying me up.
No one is asking me to get there right this moment.
At my own pace, I shall get there.
And there are no ifs, buts or maybes.
I will simply get there when my time comes.
But right now I must say it is so refreshing to sit back, relax and watch everything unfold before my eyes.
So while I wait, I whistle.
I laugh.
I write.
I try to do good.
And I take a deep grateful breath.

Glee - "Sweet Caroline" Video

You hear Puck sing, you fall in love with him.
End of story.

New Year's Resolution #4: Learn a new language.

Lo necessito. Quiero verlo asi. Puedo aserlo. Puedo.
Es para mi y usted.
Lo ciento, pero no puede.
I am getting the hang of this whole Spanish thing.

Call to bar Filipino workers from going to Gulf - The National Newspaper

Call to bar Filipino workers from going to Gulf - The National Newspaper

My heart goes out to all of them who brave the unknown to feed hungry mouths back home.
Every day I thank the Lord for being in a position that allows me to help them in my own little way.
I know that a lot more must be done, and individuals driving down to the labor office to drop off old clothes and other old items for them to make use of just won't change things significantly.
But it is a big help, because it gives them immediate help and their plight is getting more attention.
Sometimes it is very frustrating to think that you can only help to an extent, and you cannot really go to the heart of the issue because you are just one person, also an employee, also helpless in a sense.
If I had the power to change things I would.
But the power I have now is important, and I shall not lose it.
I will keep on paying them a visit until I can do more.

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance - Acoustic Cover - Lucas Silveira of The Cliks

In the first month of this year, I must have achieved so much more than in the last quarter of 2009. I have faith in 2010 that, even though it is just a number assigned by genuises centuries ago to give humans a sense of accomplishment and order, it will usher me into a whole new way of living and eventually lead me to fulfillment.
I have managed to beat my self-imposed deadlines, whether they are small errands or life-changing decisions. Every year does not come without challenges, but I believe I have gone through the worst and there is nothing more important right now but for me to own the moment.
I'm going to make this year mine.
And because I am not selfish at all, you might as well make it yours.
Everybody happy.

I would like an extra hand to....

...assist me in the toilet.

...type my scripts.

...slap the other ones when I feel like a cigarette.

...answer my phone while the two others are on the wheel.

...reach my back when scrubbing in the bath.

...give bigger hugs to the people I love.

...carry grocery bags.

...go through the mysteries of the Holy Rosary with accuracy.

...edit a story in no time.

...slap up a nice healthy meal in the morning in speed lightning.

...turn off all the lights and the A/C before rushing out the door.

...to learn never-been-seen dance moves.

...to feak people out.

Absolutely unfounded, although true for some people.

Bad Romance Lady Gaga Beat Box

This is the coolest thing anyone has ever done to a Lady Gaga song. Glee-ish.

Funny. Not if it happened to me.

Two Evil Girls

I love scary movies. It seems to me that children are the new face of horror films these days. The Exorcist and The Oman raked millions of dollars back in the days, and I loved them both, which is why it's not hard to understand why kids are back on the big screen to give us grown-ups goosebumps.

I recently watched Case 39 and Orphan with Fifi, and I am now freaked out at the prospect of interacting with bright young girls who wear shabby Sunday dresses and have an IQ they could not have acquired in the environment where they were raised. Not that there are many here in Dubai. Not that there are any here in Dubai.

In Case 39, the child turned out to be the devil, and she can kill people just by having bad thoughts about them.

In Orphan, the adopted girl is actually a dwarf with a mental disability that causes her to kill her adoptive father if he does not reciprocate her romantic intentions for him.

Both girls are utterly convincingly disgusting.

They weakened my spine and made me want to watch The Office episodes to forget.

And though I did not entirely erase the image of Lilith and Esther from my head, Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute did help.

My favorite hang out in International City is closing down at the end of the month. I was deeply saddened by the news. The walls of The Crepes Bar have absorbed all my sentiments for the past year: the secrets, the gossip, and unfounded rants about anything and everything in my life. Mimi was very passionate about the creperie, thinking up ways to make the place more fun and cozy. But I guess like all good things, those days at the creperie had to end. I am sure that new place will sprout in the area. And I'll have more things to talk about with my friends when I take them there.

iheartradio: Alicia Keys "Empire State of Mind, Part II" (live)