Yesterday I was going through my Friendsters and saw that my Tita Anna uploaded new pictures of their family. It was on my cousin Nico’s first birthday. They didn’t look like they were in England. They looked so happy with several Filipino moms and dads and their children surrounding the party table. I sent her a message and I hope she can reply soon. I really miss her. She’s always been the aunt who believed I’d go places and lead a good life. She has so much faith in me and I know she wants me to be happy. When we were chatting some months ago she told me to make sure that my next boyfriend was going to be nice and make me happy. Long loud sigh.
In the afternoon when I was getting ready to leave the office I caught up with my Tita Monina on Googlechat. We just had a very short chat and I showed him Guillaume’s picture and I said we’re okay and she said they were okay and then I had to go home already. I miss her and I wasn’t to see her soon. She’s been one of the very few people who never grew tired of convincing me that I was beautiful even when everyone else thought otherwise. Until now I think about that and it never fails to make me smile. She said that Guillaume looked nice. Sigh again.
When I came home I moped around the house and watched a bit of American Idol and moped some more and did really bad things and ate really bad food until I couldn’t find a more self-destructing activity and went online…and found Tita Dina. She lives in LA and rarely goes online. I was so happy to catch up with her. She asked me if everything was all right, and I told her about my little problem. She gave me really good advise, the kind that made me proud of being part of our family. She reminded me of the most important things like self-respect and true love. Very inspiring.
I resolve to make a change today. I realized that I was very weak yesterday and I was given today to regain the strength I lost for a while. I want to be a strong and beautiful as my aunts. I want their wisdom, their survival skills, their beauty.
I am in charge here and I can navigate this to any direction I want.
The power is mine.
I can start off by waxing my upper lip tonight.
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