Got time to talk?

Stinking feet
My feet don’t stink anymore, because Khadijah gave me a nice pair of shoes that matches my top today. I really hate those bronze slip-ons I got from Global Village for 35 Dirhams. They made my feet stink like hell, and Guillaume even caught me smelling themlast Friday morning. I thought he was fast asleep. I like doing all sorts of things when he’s dozing off. One time he caught me plucking my armpit hairs. Another time I was putting on concealer. I don't know why the hell I did that but I just feel more secure with my concealer on all the time. Hips don't lie and they're sexy. Scars don't lie but they're freaking ugly so better cover them up.

Problem sleeping
I have trouble sleeping and I think it’s getting more serious. I drink lots of water and try not to smoke a few hours before bedtime, and I take a hot shower with pretty little candles all around the bathroom. And then I read a book. I’m reading one called My Friend Leonard by James Frey. I recommend this one for those who liked Holden Caulfield and that guy from Trainspotting. And then I wake up in the middle of the night and turn on the fan, or turn off the fan, or read again or pee, or drink water or something. I don’t know why I wake up in the middle of the night. It’s crazy.

A pleasant wake-up call
My phone rang at 1230 in the morning and it was one of my favorite aunts, Tita Anna. I sent her a Friendster message asking her to call me. She did! I talked to Neil for a few minutes and it was nice to know that he had not twisted his Tagalog tongue. We talked about random things, and while she was doing number 2 she said goodbye. Only two Euros worth of talk time with her dear niece.

Bheng mah Mhen
Bheng went online last night just as Jel was disconnected. I was grateful for his company because he was very helpful, especially when I was telling him about Guillaume. I suddenly found Bheng very similar to Guillaume. When I was still in Manila we used to go out a lot with the CDG people and get drunk and do karaoke until the break of dawn. We’d find ourselves crawling on the streets, sometimes vomiting and singing songs and telling jokes. And then his girlfriend would send a message and he’d call her. Men like Bheng and Guillaume like drinking and having fun and staying up late doing nothing. Maybe their girlfriends have nothing to worry about. I don’t know. Bheng said I should keep my cool and stop wondering where he is or why he hasn’t replied yet or why he hasn’t been calling. And I totally agree with him. First and foremost --- keep my sanity in tact. In the long run it’s going to be the most integral part of a relationship, and most importantly, a person.

Leftovers, dependency
As I write this I'm watching Yolanda and Craig eat the freshly baked chicken pie Yolanda made. I was determined not to have it for dinner, because after all, it wasn't mine. The leftover beef barbecue however, was not their property anymore and therefore was up for grabs. Not that anyone would grab it. It was two weeks old. Well I did. I shoved it in the microwave, put some sweet chili sauce on it and threw in some corn, and dinner was served. My dinner. I want to be responsible for myself and not depend on someone else to make my dinner. Isn't that a mature thing to say? Well I'm serious. If and when I get sick of sardines maybe I'll force myself to cook. If not then my body deteriorates from all the MSG and preservatives. That's my fault.

Damn why did she have to make apple crumble and vanilla ice cream. Can I now eat my words.