Yesterday I ate an enormous amount of corn that sent all the farmers in Asia planting double for the next quarter. I felt terrible last night. And to help “aid” my digestion, I had Milo, a kind of sugar that pretends to be hot chocolate. I felt so bad that I couldn’t control my eating that before I fell asleep I cried so hard. I imagined there was Oprah’s camera next to my bed, and so I made everything even more melodramatic by saying things out loud.

I don’t want to be alone. I eat when I’m alone. I realized that without someone to love I become a monster. And I eat and eat until I cannot feel, and whenever this dreadful feeling comes back I just eat some more. I hate being alone. I can’t be alone.

Things like that. Sorry not a good scriptwriter for reality segments but my feelings were real. To appease myself and divert my attention to something --- anything!!! --- I ended up watching Close To You, which starred John Lloyd Cruz, Bea Alonzo and Sam Milby. I liked it, but it was a bad copy, with shadows of heads (wearing caps) crossing the big screen and laughter and smirks. I also searched YouTube and even danced in my chair. And had a short chat with Colin before I finally allowed him to go to bed and do what he does best.

And then afterwards I resolved to lose weight. Before Guillaume comes back, before I lose my cool, before I turn into someone I can’t recognize in front of the mirror.

And so today I had three liters of water, cereals for breakfast, fresh orange juice, and a banana. And I feel much lighter now.

So no, I’m not on my way to self-destruction. Thank God!

everything was going on smoothly. and then i farted!

at least that's how i feel right now. things have been perfect until one day when i became reall stupid. and i feel like everything's over.

maybe not.

i am angry

My horoscope today says it’s ok to be angry. Controlled anger is normal, and as long as I can express it without ruining other people’s lives then I have every right to turn red.

I am so frustrated. Work has been ruthless and though I know that it’s not like all eyes are on me waiting for me to commit a grave mistake, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and pressured. I’ll lose all my hair before 6 PM, I swear.

I am also sad that the weekend has gone by and I am back in my swivel chair that sometimes disappears after lunch and reappears when it wants to. I am back to answering a thousand emails and deciding on things to which a simple “yes” or “no” could make all the difference. I can make ruin the program in a split second, or can make it one of the best episodes. Aside from that I am in charge of everything else until the end of the week, which is seemingly ages from now!

I am also harboring bad feelings towards my friend because she’s been very inconsistent and I really don’t want to have to do anything with her or for her because she has a bad habit of taking me for granted. I tried helping her out and working out her request but she’s just been so scatter-brained and I don’t want to get involved in her shit, as I already have my own to deal with. Her annoying habits are taking their toll on me and our friendship and no matter how much I love her she’s just throwing it all away.

I am angry. And I like being angry because I have reasons to feel this way. I want to scream and shout but won’t. I want to pull your hair but I won’t. I want to tell my friend that she can forget about our friendship but I won’t.

Will take a hot bath instead. Or go out for sushi with a friend.

Sorry natawa ako. Kakapanuod ko lang ng interview ni Lolita Solis ka HOPE, yung kabit ni James Yap. Tinanong ni Lolit kung may ibang nakakaalam ng relasyon, sabi ni Hope, "Meron po yung facialist niya si Elise at yung scrubber niya, si Mitos". Grabe yung setting na derma clinic!

Jarvis - Dont Let Him Waste Your Time

well you can stay all night if you want to
you can hang out with all of his friends
you can go and meet his mother and father
you better make sure that's where it ends

cause baby, there is one thing you gotta know....

let him read your palm and guess your sign.
let him take you home and treat you fine....
but baby, don't let him waste your time
don't let him waste your time

cause the years fly by in an instant
and you wonder what he's waiting for
and then some skinny bitch walks by in some hotpants
and he's running out the door

so remember that one thing that you gotta know...

let him read your palm
and guess your sign
let him take you home and treat you so fine
but baby, don't let him waste your time

You ain't getting no younger
and you've got nothing to show
so tell him that it's now or never
and then go go go go go!!!

he can have his space and he can take his time
and he can kiss ya where the sun don't shine
baby, don't let him waste your time
don't let him waste your time...

Kris and James

I had a chat with my mother this afternoon.
Being a big fan of Kris Aquino, she told me that James Yap cheated on her.. with a receptionist at a Belo facial clinic. YUCK.
That was the worst thing he could do. Not only to Kris, but in his entire life.
I bet the whole country's cursing him.

I was affected. Deeply.
A couple of years ago we all thought James was the man who would save Kris from her ugly past and elp her start a happy family life, something she had alwasy wished for. Instead, the dickhead reinforced the universal opinion that men are all bastards. That sort of scared me and the girls --- Mama, Sherry, Jen.
Don't we all want a nice guy who would never cheat on us?
If someone from the slums of some province in the Philippines could afford to cheat on the daughter of the former President and the most famous TV personality in the country, then all men could could cheat on any kind of woman.

Oh no. I was starting to really like Guillaume and it doesn't help that he's away and not emailing me. Oh no. Panic panic.

Not! I'm going out with the girls.

one year. no way?

I have been staying here in Dubai for officially one year now.
Tomorrow’s my anniversary and I feel so fulfilled.
Why? Because it was not an easy year for me, but I managed to turn things around and make the most out of my hardships.
For the first six months I was poor as a rat, eating rubbish and enduring every single day at work as a nobody.
The next six months were glorious. I found my friends, I found a nice man, and most importantly, I found the job I wanted and it is proving to be very very promising.
My prediction for 2007 for myself?
As usual, a rocky love life. But work is a different story. I would really like to make something out of my career here.

Last night Eve had dinner at our place and guess who she brought with her? Caloy. Yes Caloy my orgmate, Caloy the playboy and druggie, Caloy who cared less about life and more about props for Live AIDS.
It was a shocking change. He looked healthier and happier, and he did NOT accept Craig’s invitation to have a beer. Wow.
And the way he talked to me, it was like he left everything in the past and was starting anew. He showed me his wedding ring and I was speechless. Caloy is now happily married, and is trying to be a good boy.

People can really change. And people can make something of themselves if they wanted to, with a little help from friends.
I don’t particularly need to change drastically, but I am going to make sure that I change for the better. Small steps towards a big beautiful change.
Hey, last year I promised myself I’d do something big, and here I am now in Dubai doing much better.

I wonder what I’ll be doing this year?
Thought of properly documenting my life, but that would be too hard.
Maybe assemble a Jag?
Or learn French.
Or!!!! Lose the goddamn 5 pounds I’ve been whining about year after year.

Perfect 10

Guess who’s happy?
Unaware but alive.
Into that kind of love.
Lazy, cozy, stay-at-home love.
Ludicrous, whimsical, floating kind of love.
And it’s not as bad as the ones before.
Unbelievably effective, if you ask me.
Maybe this is what I really need.
Everything I need.

Someone once said,
I was never going to keep it
Might let it go
Or the other way around
Nobody knew
Never did they guess
Endangered, but existing
Tell them I have found it.

i like ignorance

if everyone resorted to ignorance
they'd be happier
no question marks, no periods
no opinions, no suspicions
just bliss in its purest form
nothing but a smile painted on each face
no secrets revealed
no feelings concealed
just giving and returning
without waiting for cues or signs
feet on the ground but head in the clouds
and nothing seems to be wrong with it
no one asks if you're straight
or gay or human or breathing
just taking everything for what it is
as how you see it
no calendars
no clocks
nothing to rush you
or remind you of anything
i like that

Sarah McLachlan - Sweet Surrender (Live)

It doesn’t mean much
It doesn’t mean anything at all
The life I’ve left behind me
Is a cold room
I’ve crossed the last line
From where I can’t return
Where every step I took in faith
Betrayed me
And led me from my home
And sweet
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
You take me in
No questions asked
You strip away the ugliness
That surrounds me
Are you an angel
Am I already that gone
I only hope
That I won’t disappoint you
When I’m down here
On my knees
And sweet
Sweet
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
Sweet
Sweet
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
And I don’t understand
By the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall
I miss the little things
I miss everything (about you)
It doesn’t mean much
It doesn’t mean anything at all
The life I left behind me
Is a cold room
And sweet
Sweet
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give

Nice Sunday

Yolanda cooked dinner for us. She has a new Arabic cook book and made lamb shanks. Beautfiul. Then we had date pudding with vanilla ice cream for dessert. Heavenly.

After washing the dishes Fifi and I went out for a walk. To Shangrila and back. The weather was perfect and the timing was right. It was a breather, really. I think we should spend quality time together like that just talking about rubbish. I showed off my vocal stylings by singing Irreplaceable to passers by. But they weren't impressed because I also occasionally passed gas. Hey I had a huge meal.

At work the environment was light. I liked it there today. Greg liked that I submitted a roster of potential guests and I left the office while he was going through them. Kurt accused me of stealing his pen, when in fact he didn't have a pen to begin with. Rasool and Mohammed were in a friendly banter in the car going home. Fifi and I walked together to 24/7 for a snack.

All in all I can say that today was a good day. I feel light and happy. I also emailed Guillaume and checked how he was. I hope he'll reply tomorrow.

Good night guys!

Giving In

Elaine and I had a short chat about “giving in”.

Girls like to give ultimatums and keep on soliciting all sorts of reactions from guys, but the moment guys decide to pull away upon deeming a situation hopeless or too complicated for them, that’s it. They won’t take the bait.

And why do we give these ultimatums? Because we want to know the real score. We don’t want to be kept in the dark, and we want to be able to tell ourselves that we have done our part to revive or maintain something, and this justifies the need for the guys’ efforts. It’s your turn, buddy. I’ve done enough and I’m tired of it.

But are we ever tired of it? As long as they don’t say yes or no, as long as we are being kept in the dark, we’ll never stop. I found myself trying to achieve closure with two men in the past, and it wasn’t a nice feeling. Just as I was opening my doors and readying myself for something more serious, they kind of just shrugged and walked away. I felt like a walking symbol of trouble. Don’t go there, there’s a lunatic with huge thighs waiting to trap you. She might even LOVE you.

And so we do not only give an ultimatum to guys. Eventually we give the same to ourselves, if we fail to get any kind of response from them. And so “If you are really giving up on this, just say so, and that’s the end” becomes “if he doesn’t reply by tomorrow noon he can forget it, I’m giving up on this.” And then we extend our deadline. Tomorrow noon becomes next week, or our birthday, or some time in 2008. Unless a guy opens his mouth and lets a short “no” escape from it, a girl is bound to pursue the matter, if only for good old peace of mind.

But what happens when a guy decides to keep quiet forever? A girl can’t live her life trying to make him speak up. And so we move on. That’s the most beautiful part of it, don’t you think? We move on and on and on until we find something not necessarily better, but something that suits us, something that’s right, that’s not too much for us to handle, and eventually we deem it perfect. But we never really see that unless we get past the “giving in” stage.

And so I wish girls would not have to ask, demand, or even beg for anything. But if she does, I’m sure the whole world understands that more than anything, she just wants to feel better about herself and be given the thumbs up to move on. Completely.

And what happens if after ages of waiting, after moving on and having another shot at happiness, a girl finds her past love coming back to her and pursuing her again? That’s hard. Hopefully by that time the girl has found something that she is happier with, and she wouldn’t have to fall into the trap again. No giving in. That part is over.

Back to work.

Mama and Zoe

Here are some pictures my mother sent me....
We had a long chat today and she was her usual funny self.
I miss them!

more Global Village Pics (feb2)

Dreamgirls

Just watched Dreamgirls with Sherry, Jen, Galo, Xernes and Jason.
I looooved Beyonce. I'd give anything to have her body.
And her voice.

It was sweet of Galo to give each of us a rose. A post-Valentine gift.
Now I've got two roses. I got the other one from Hibiki's sweetest waitress.
Never mind the fact that all the other girls were given roses, no matter how terribly they sang. I'm not talking about my girls... I mean the others.

And so the Dreamgirls all went home at 130 AM, to get their well-deserved beauty rest. I'm off to bed now. Night!

Yun lang naman.

V Day! May Day!

I spent most of Valentine’s Day running around in the office, and the rest of it in the funkiest place in town ---when you’re lonely and problematic and want to forget the world --- Hibiki! It’s the only karaoke bar in Dubai that offers camaraderie among the regular customers. After a few months of spending our weekends there, we’ve come to love the small crowd of regulars who can really sing. . .
We have waiter Joan (a Filipino guy) who sings Josh Groban (without being asked to, he just keys in his song and no one really protests) while the speakers tremble.
Then we’ve got the fat British guy who sings With Or Without You, and towards the end of the song he uses the instrumental to sings a few lines of Orient Pearl’s Pagsubok. I found myself singing along last night actually. “Kaya mo ya-haaaaan!”
And then there’s this chubby Brit who sings Coldplay and Oasis like he was in his mid 20s. He’s far from being two decades old, I can tell you that.
And then there’s the Indian George Michael. Suave voice, always in a suit, and always reaching his falsetto notes perfectly. With the heavy gold necklace, of course.
And of course there’s us. The group of shrieking brown girls who sing anything from Carly Simon to Shakira to Spandau Ballet to Cher. And then we remember that we have work the next day and abruptly say goodbye to everyone.

Why am I writing about these drunkards on V Day? Because my drunkard wasn't with me. No Guillaume. He spent his V day drowning in whisky with Emmanuel at their flat in Sharjah. He drank and drank until he was drunk enough to excuse himself from celebrating V day with me, which I found very offensive. It's good that I enjoyed singing with the girls, otherwise I would have really let him have it. I told him to just sleep and make sure we'd meet before he left for Paris--- which was today---- or I'd really hate him.
And so I took a carlift to Sharjah to see him last night, and he graciously welcomed me with two bottles of vodka, two bottles of really good whisky, stale cigarettes, and after some time, burgers from (where else) Burger King. This is the point where I roll my eyes and ask myself why I like him.
Anyway Emmanuel brought his friend "Monster", a petite thirty-year-old Indonesian who looked like Ella May Saison but had the energy of Pokwang. She was really funny and I really liked her. She's the carefree type.
And then Guillaume had a little too much to drink for the nth time and explained why he didn't like V day. For him it was a commercial MO, a form of extortion, and not celebrating it would mean not conforming to the norm. Yeah yeah yeah. Monster tried to defend San Valentin, but he was too mashed to argue and too stubborn to concede. And so we left it at that. No V Day for us. He did say that if he wanted to be romantic he could do it any day of the year.
In fairness to him, he was definitely sweet this morning. He asked for my email address and memorized it. And while writing this I'm thinking that maybe there is also something wrong with me. I actually find memorizing my email address sweet. I mean, where are my standards of romance?
Back to this morning. Emmanuel drove him to the airport with me in the backseat, quietly thinking what to make of his vacation, how time apart could help us both, and if he'd really email me and think of me while he's surrounded by his family and friends in good ole Paris. He kissed me on my forehead and waved goodbye. That's sweet.
Oh I hate thinking about it. I don’t like thinking. Where do we go from here?
No one really knows. Guess I'll find out in March.

Quote of the Day

"The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink, and somebody to love you."
– Brendan Behan

the barbecue

Last night we had the much awaited barbecue night with Guillaume and Emmanuel, and I thought it was great!

After work I dragged Fifi to Carrefoure to shop for some bread, corn and chicken skewers. I went home to find Guillaume and Emmanuel waiting outside the villa. They brought a cake, which Fifi “guessed” was black forest, and she turned out to be right! Yolanda made Greek salad, which was lovely. Fifi and I boiled some corn and convinced everyone it was a dish, and finally, most importantly, Colin was in charge of the barbecue. Craig did a good job entertaining the boys with beer and smokes. Carolyn was unusually quiet, tired from work, maybe.

We teased Craig about liking Shakira and Michael Jackson and Madonna and he was very responsive in a sarcastic way. Guillaume constantly teased Fifi about her tasting the cake before dinner. Emmanuel was amused with Fifi, because she was really funny last night, and given that she didn’t have much energy, she really tried to socialize and be fun. I thank her for that. I like my flatmates because they were nice and happy and really took the time and made an effort to get to welcome Guillaume and Emmanuel.

I really appreciate Craig’s concern as well. When Guillaume and Emmanuel left we walked to the shop for some cigarettes and he gave me a piece of advice about relationships. Don’t lose my heart, know myself, be strong to the point where I’m so sure of myself that nobody can shake me. And I think that was very sweet of him. That was something that really pulled my feet back on the ground, and I have to make sure that they remain there until I am absolutely sure that he’s serious and for real.

So it turned out (like it always does), the highlight of the evening was not Guillaume, but myself.
For me anyway.

UP sa UAE General Assembly - February 7

Why does it feel like a game?
If I don't do well, my prize runs away.
And when I fail, I'm the only one to blame.
I didn't ask for him to blow me away.

no to cancer

Never Date a Cancer

Clingy, emotional, and very private - it's hard to escape a Cancer's clutches. And while Cancer will want to know everything about you, they're anything but open in return. Instead try dating: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, or Aquarius

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

complicated

Last night I couldn’t sleep. I decided to bring my guitar to bed, and miraculously, after more than a year, I was able to write two songs. The words just flowed like a stream, like I was just writing in my journal, only the words rhymed, and the music just came out of nowhere, effortlessly.
I am grateful to learn that I haven’t lost it yet. All I’ve been doing for the past year was facing the music, not making it. And I believe all these events and feelings bottled up during my stay in Dubai will all be known to a few select people with the strum of my guitar.
I missed hurting my back from slouching on the guitar all night, thinking of what to write next, or playing my newly-composed song over and over again, trying to listen to each chord, if one needed to be replaced or removed altogether.
However when I’m writing a song it always means that I am fighting or expressing my misery. Why was I miserable? Maybe it was just plain boredom, a feeling that doesn’t mean anything, just an indication that I have to move my ass.
Today after work I am going to the gym to see if I’ve still got that tae bo super power. I miss working out really, but working out, I suppose, won’t be that fun and simple anymore because of a weird acquaintance that goes to the same gym and attends the same gay classes.
Why is there nothing simple in this world anymore? Why do I always have to have deeply-rooted reasons for everything? Why is Freud so crazily believable?
If I am bored, I just want to feel bored. If I am fat, that means I have to work out.
Each feeling is an end in itself, not a result of an underlying emotion triggered by an event in 1986.
If everything is so complicated then we’re all bound to be paranoid.
Am I getting close to answering my questions about myself?
Don’t think so.

how to kill the fun

Many times I’ve told myself not to worry about things that have not happened yet. Perhaps I haven’t been praying lately that’s why there are demons in my head that go around, making me sleepless and worried for nothing.
Many of my friends who have experienced worse and have gone through the most unbelievable times --- the reason I heed their advise --- tell me to just enjoy the moment and worry about bad things if and when they happen. And I cannot believe how cynical past events have made me that even enjoying the moment is a huge effort on my part. What more do I want? I’ve got a boyfriend who calls me at least twice a day and asks me how I’ve been, and unexpectedly invites me out when I’m in a slump, and gives me permission to sleep at his place when I want to. And yet I am going out of my mind after just three days of not being with him.
I think paranoia is the most evil feeling in the world. It’s worrying about the non-existent, and preventing you from experiencing happiness at its finest form. There he is, right in front of me, with the most sincere eyes in the world, and yet my mind still holds suspicion and doubt and all the bad things that couldn’t be possible now.
But while paranoia is a malicious way of seeing things, instincts are totally valid. How many times have I felt that something was going to end, and a few moments later watched a wonderful thing fall spectacularly to pieces? And how many times have I kicked myself for gleefully ignoring that voice inside me? How many times have I betrayed my conscience and pursued something which I knew was totally going to go wrong?
So it’s good to be cautious, to bury my head in the clouds but still keep my feet on the ground. It’s good to enjoy and not worry, but draw a line where wisdom ends and foolishness begins. It’s best to give Guillaume the benefit --- not of the doubt, because there is really no reason to doubt him (yet) --- but of being with me and experiencing Zeena, how much I can give him and how much I can take from him without having reservations or false expectations.
Ok I feel much better now.
I don’t know what I was so worried for.
He’s in his flat getting a bad hangover.

i'm a what?

quiz recommended by Sherry

You Are A Realistic Romantic

It's easy for you to get swept away by romance...But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective.You're still taken in by love poems and sunsetsYou just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouromanticorrealisticquiz/">Are You Romantic or Realistic?

Stewie Annoys Lois (Family Guy)

I watched this for a whole week. Every day after work, I would go in front of the computer just to watch this again and again. Before I had a life.

wednesday non sense

I’m so bored I’m watching a video on YouTube called Peter’s Prostate.
Quite funny actually.
I am now headed to the UPAA General Assembly and I’m in charge of some stuff.
I feel productive doing something else than work and see Guillaume.
And the fact that I’ll be devouring some really good Chinoy food excites me a lot.
Ok I’m not ashamed of the fact that the GA is in Chowking.
A siopao here could cost you more than a hundred pesos.
Anyway I’m changing into my red top, because girls have to wear read and the boys have to wear white.
And there’s going to be a speed-dating type of networking activity, and I thought that up so it should turn out fabulous.
OK see you tomorrow!

the pursuit of happYness

Last night Fifi and I watched The Pursuit of HappYness, and it moved me to tears. I canNOT believe there were men out there who really followed their dreams, no matter what, under the most difficult circumstances.

It was also nice of Fifi to invite me. We hadn't gone out together since September, and it just felt nice to have a chat with her again. Not without my nasty comments about her boyfriend of course. I still hate his face and that will never change. But Fifi has been a friend since we were boisterous fifth graders, and it's safe to assume that it's still possible for us to catch up after several months of silence.

Anyway back to happiness. Isn't everyone in pursuit of it? Surely at least someone must have gotten what he wanted? Is that enough to make him happy?

I don't always get what I ask for. But I guess I've become more positive and can turn things into blessings. My job is definitely a blessing. Guillaume is definitely a blessing, My Dubai friends are definitely a blessing. And my presence in Dubai is a blessing. And if you put it that way --- that I get so many blessings without even doing much to shape my destiny --- it's more than enough to make me happy. Happiness is really subjective, if you think about it.

At 3 in the morning Guillaume called me wanting to chat. I felt like going to Sharjah and strangling him. I was fast asleep and I could have sworn I was even snoring until my phone rang hyterically. But the minute I heard his voice and his extra-sweet "How are you?" I just had to entertain him.

Now that's happiness.

And in a few hours it was magically converted into sleepiness and struggling to keep my head up at my desk in front of the computer.

Office time. Bye!

sing with me!

There are indeed many reasons to be happy.
And some people find happiness in the simplest things.
Some people, however, find it in the most unusual suggestions.

Guillaume and I were sharing a beer last night when he casually mentioned that we’d go to a karaoke bar when their Global Village hell month is over.
And then he sang Isn’t She Lovely in a mean French accent.
And I almost died.

Karaoke is my life.
I remember when the Dubai gang was having a discussion and one question came up, which was “How do you know if he’s the one?”
And I said “If he invites me to go to a karaoke bar.”
And I was serious. I mean, if karaoke is the only thing that can cheer me up when I’m in a slump, he might as well sing with me.
This means that he's willing to be with me through the good and bad times.
Trust me to stretch things a bit.
Maybe he just really wants to sing. With or without me.
Still he invited me, and that says a lot about him.
That he's not shy to make a fool of himself, and he doesn't mind doing that in my presence.

After a few minutes he said goodbye and headed home to Sharjah to get his well-deserved rest, but I remained sleepless and found myself singing Summer Nights with him in my mind.

Yes it’s a tacky rendezvous. Sue me!

weekend gone bad

This week has been craaaaaazy.
I didn’t think PMS could make me so depressed, for reasons I couldn’t and would never know.
Guillaume and I met again on Thursday night and everything was fine again. I think we missed each other so much, so I suppose a little time apart didn’t hurt us.
To be very honest I felt bad that we didn’t see each other for four days prior to that, and that was pretty unusual, but then when I tagged along with them from Thursday midnight to Friday afternoon I realized how busy and tiring every day has been for them.
Thursday midnight they picked me up at around 230 AM. They came straight from Global Village and had not had dinner yet. I helplessly offered some energy bars I got from Carrefour just a few hours earlier (grocery shopping with Sherry). As luck would have it, it turned out the peanut butter was not a French favorite, and so they got cold tuna and chicken sandwiches from a petrol station in Sharjah.
And so we had a few drinks and before we knew it, it was 11 AM again, time to prepare everything for the day. And then we had a quick lunch in a Lebanese cafeteria in Sharjah before heading to Global Village. Everything went by so fast and I didn’t even notice the time. And I was awfully tired just watching them. Just watching them.Before Sherry and the gang arrived at the global I saw Janis and dragged her to the crepe stand so she could meet Guillaume. That was a milestone for me, since Janis is my mother’s friend and she would definitely tell Mama her impression of Guillaume.
Well, she was served a hot banana crepe and that was it, but still at least she could tell my mom about it and say that I’m such a good girl, just hanging around a theme park by the crepe stand.
That evening was crazy. We got to watch the Bayanihan dancers, who were great! I loved the Filipiniana outfits and the dances… and the girls! Doing the tinikling with that much horse power and with such speed, you’d think they’d be panting and sweating like pigs. But they maintained their grace and the smiles on their faces and that was one thing that really amazed me. Actually (being the self-centered Leo that I am) that kind of reminded me of myself --- smiling in the midst of stress.
And the I got some Chinese food for the big boys. Guillaume said the food was good, so I was very happy about that.
So then we went around and the night was just starting for us when it rained. Rained so hard we had to call Omar to pick us up. Rained so hard that we had to wear those Vietnamese hats and look like we were trying to find an area in Global Village where we could plant rice. We walked looking like refugees to the main road, covered in mud, until we got in the car and bitched about our sucky night.
So anyway I wish the weekend ended on Friday, but no. On Saturday an old prick bugged me and I thought it was going to be a good meeting, but in the end I felt really bad. You can't be friends with an ex, especially if he's a sexist and a moron.
But I suppose it's all right. Guillaume is coming over tonight (extra early, because they had to close because of the rain). I'm so excited to introduce him to everyone!
Bye now!

Pulp - Do You Remember The First Time

Old stuff but timeless lyrics.

"Choices are the hinges of destiny."– Pythagoras

weekend, shit ends

Thank God it’s Thursday, and thank God I’m still alive.
It’s been such a long week, and I badly wanted the weekend to come around and save me from all stress and brain damage.
I have been sleeping uncomfortably the whole week and feeling very sluggish in the morning, waking up just minutes before my lift arrives.
And I have been obsessing about whether I want to see Guillaume or not, and thinking if he’s thinking of the same thing, because I’m pretty sure we both get the feeling we’re getting too close for comfort. Let him make his crepes and I’ll spend time alone or with my girlfriends, reading tarot cards or declaring karaoke nights or lounging around eating lard.
I am getting a haircut and the last thing I want to happen is look like a brown siopao in a foreign land.
I am doing the groceries and vowed to revise my shopping list. As much as possible, if I can afford it, I won’t get instant noodles and canned tuna and other bad stuff and then feel bad every lunch time for the rest of the month.

By the way I had an interesting evening two nights ago. Sherry and I were eating in a quaint Japanese restaurant on Sheikh Zayed, and at the end of our dinner, before we could even burp and upon asking for the check, a guy came up to me and said it had been paid for --- he paid for our sushi. Why would anyone pay for our sushi? Anyway we thanked him and left the restaurant. However weird and potentially dangerous that incident was, I felt attractive even in my lola outfit and forced cheerfulness.

Got an email from Terri today and it’s nice to know that someone close to my heart is reading my blog. Terri and I have had very intimate conversations a couple of times when I was still in Manila and she was there for a visit, and though we rarely got together, we always found our dates to be timely --- the same things happened to us and we felt the same things at the same time.

Oh well. Wish me a nice weekend and a fabulous hair cut.