It's almost dawn and I can't sleep. If I knew all the answers, I would be dreaming away by now. But I don't, and I have to accept that. I am not about to take Panadol Night again. And this movie Asshole is not doing anything for me. There's only one thing I would like in this world right at this very moment and it's sad that there is a 50 per cent chance I will not get it. But life's like that, and even though the sleepless nights and all this thinking suck, I am embracing them as part of living, and until I know the answer - whether it's good or bad news - I am proud to have done something that I think is the best thing to do. I don't want to get in the way of someone else's goals in life. I don't want to hang around, unsure of whether my company is wanted. But it is the same pain and love inside me that will empower me to set someone free, if that's what I need to do.

Don't get me wrong... it still sucks.