me and pain

It's always been like this.
It never ends.
It's a vicious cycle of yeses and nos.
Of pleases and shits.
Of hellos and goodbyes.

Well, maybe I'm finally getting the hang of it.
I'm still struggling, but not holding on like before.
I'm finally understanding that nothing is permanent in this world.
That nobody will stick it out with me forever.
Some people may use BIG BIG words to woo me and sweep me off my feet, but words are just words.
They don't mean a thing to me.

But I think what I have gone through made me a more beautiful person.
A fabulous woman.
I just feel it.
Now it's getting better for me because now, a few very precious people who are willing to understand me are finally discovering where I am coming from, and that's very very important to me.
Now, with them cheering me on, I just know it's going to be much easier for me.

Things might get worse, and yes I'm apprehensive.
But I'm interested to know how much more beautiful it will make me.
Can't wait.




GOODBYE SUNDAY
Everything But The Girl

Slowly runs the lazy river
And in it I pitched all my dreams
And all the things I ever wanted
And watched them heading slowly downstream
For I have learned that such things fade
Like photographs and family holidays
And every Monday is Goodbye Sunday
I guess you'd like me to throw away
That box of diaries and old letters
For they do nothing
But feed my memory
But really you should know me better
For I am too fond of the past
But I think I am learning at last
That every Monday is Goodbye Sunday
Yes it's true that I cling to things
That I should leave behind
As if those were the goldens days
Well, I just hope that you really don't mind
Slowly runs the lazy river
Every Monday is Goodbye Sunday