Sunday, November 29, 2009
Outliers
Milan Kundera Quotes
Time to revisit an old favorite. Milan Kundera is complicated, screwed up even, and has a lot of emotional issues that he can verbalize in a way that stabs my heart like a knife sharpened by the devil.
Here's a toast to you Kundera, for the thoughs you made me ponder and the truths that you discovered about myself. (at this point, our glasses clink)
Eroticism is like a dance: one always leads the other.
Happiness is the longing for repetition.
How goodness heightens beauty!
Optimism is the opium of the people.
People are going deaf because music is played louder and louder, but because they're going deaf, it has to be played louder still.
Debts, Goals and More
My take on that is yes, the extension shoould be granted. It's not the first time in history that a conglomerate is unable to pay off its loans on time, and it's no surprise, given the economic situation, no matter what press releases and optimists say.
It's a holiday, so I will let my brain take a back seat and let my emotions run free like a fool, because I'm girly like that. So why give leeway? Because we all make mistakes and we deserve a second chance in everything. Any delay caused by an unfortunate series of events that got out of hand is of course a hassle to the parties awaiting results or payments or a mere update. It's agonizing and it brings about insecurity and hostility.
But if the borrower is transparent and takes reassuring steps towards a sound alternative payment plan, I don't see why things can't work out.
Let's drop the borrower-debtor situation and zoom out to the big picture. Let's talk about ourselves. Each person has a vision, whether short-term or long-term. And that vision is backed by the belief that that happy place he sees in his head will soon take place in real life at the right time. So he works on it and makes it happen. He sets a deadline and is determined to beat it!
But there are obstacles. Unexpected events, people in his way, or bad weather. So he buys time. He allows himself more time but never takes his eyes off the light at the end of the tunnel. So he gets there, slowly but surely, and he feels his adrenaline pump up when his goals begin to take shape.
Or there is an alternative ending to it. He may lose sight of his goals. Consequently he may not find the strength to carry on, and may likely waste away. Which in my book is NOT an option. It is simply not.
Each of us has a personal battle. We are both the borrower and the lender. We owe ourselves our future. And we patiently wait for ourselves to reach it. We give and take to ourselves by allowing grace periods to right the wrong and clean up our mess. We give ourselves a pat on the back when we meet our deadlines. We reprimand ourselves when we falter. Then we get back on our feet.
And the last five words of the last sentence are the most important thing I have written in this entry so far.
Like, I can dive into a pool of shit, swim there all day, but at the end of the day I can towel it all off and take a long hot bath.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The Fat Game
It was so much fun. We got a high out of the whole fat name calling thing that we didn't want to stop. We're both online right now and she just called me Rolly Polly Porker Belly. Wow. Original. I tried my best to come up with something. Miss Pork Rind 2009. It's an endorphin-boosting exercise.
Try it.
You're so fat trying you can't procreate.
You're so fat you ate your fiancee.
You're so fat you don't need tampons, your thighs do all the absorbing.
You're so fat your fingers stick together when you type.
You're so fat you're tempted to cook yourself.
You're so fat you can fly like a giant balloon.
You're so fat you look like a sofa when seated.
When standing, you look like a fridge.
You're so fat you are the capital of your country.
You're so fat you need a whole year to poop.
You're so fat you can never be phat.
You're so fat like that yo!
How I Met Your Mother
This comedy series is basically a very long story told by a father to his kids about how he met their mother. It's the fourth season and still we don't know how. The main character, Ted (who is the dad in the future), was engaged and heartbroken and single and attached so many times that the excitement leading to how he really met his future wife is escalating. And I am itching to find out.
I never really found out how my father met my mother. We never had that chat. I don't think I want to know. It's just a fleeting moment that led to my birth and now that I'm all grown up to backtrack, I won't. I just feel that something that ended tragically and was buried six feet underground some fourteen years ago does not deserve another glimpse.
But here's the good news. Someday I will become a mother and I hope that my story will be so fondly remembered by my children, their children and the children of their children. I want it to be a well-told, unbelievably kickass love story that it will become a legacy and possibly become a smashing hit comedy series. And I get to star in it.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Remembering the Old Me
The old me likes a hot cup of taho with extra sago when everybody else is having tapsilog at Edong's. She sneaks out of a brainstorming meeting to meet her boyfriend at the border of the Metro. She likes to have a San Mig Strong Ice before going home from work. She keeps an apple in her bag just in case she gets hungry. The old me buys cigarettes per piece and smokes them throughout the day. She likes smoking under the watershed when it rains, while saying hello to acquaintances holding their umbrellas and hailing cabs in front of the ELJ building. The old me likes to crack a joke or two with a good friend while listening to crap music on the office computer. She likes eating other people's leftover food.
The old me likes road trips. With high school friends, it's got to be Cookie's house in Tagaytay. With college friends, Puerto Galera. She likes boys. Smiling at them, talking to them, holding their hands and pinching them hard. She likes girls too. Well, as friends. She likes it when things happen spontaneously, especially on pay day after work.
The old me is moody at times and would hide under the office table to avoid pleasantries with people. When in the mood, she is playful and likes talking to superiors with chocolate in her teeth. She likes taking pictures with people's butts.
The old me is not complicated at all. She doesn't always get what she wants but doesn't fuss over it. She lets go of things not meant for her gracefully and with the hope that something better will come along.
I am not sure if I will come to terms with the old me when I'm back home again. Maybe the tangible reminders of my old self have been thrown away by our new house help, or eaten by termites, or simply too deeply buried under dust to be retrieved. But it would be nice just to say hi and ask how she's been. She might be wondering how the new me is.
Well, the new me is not exactly different.
A little stronger, a little wiser.
A little more serious, a little more refined.
A little more cautious, a little more inquisitive.
A little more responsible, a little more fair.
Just a little.
I don't want to lose touch with my old self.
I love the old me!
When I look at my old picture, I think, "I was pretty badass."
Saturday, November 21, 2009
For G
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Satruday Night
Each fighter's story was told with so much depth that it succeeded in touching my heart.
I was moved to tears.
One of the most memorable things that were said in the series was this:
Long after Saturday night, what would be remembered?
How many years they lived?
How many rounds they fought?
Or what happened in that small handfull of moments that really mattered?
For the two boxers, Saturday night was the big fight.
It could mean a different thing to every person.
Could be the night they won the lottery, met their spouse, or had that life-changing hair cut.
I've had so many memorable Saturday nights, with handfulls of moments that brought happiness and sadness in my life.
Some of them I chose to bury deep in my pocket, some I still hold in my hand.
I once told a person that Saturday is for lovers.
Now I realize it's not really that exclusive.
It's for those who wish to beat the doldrums and do something bold.
And I hope that I will soon have an eventful Saturday night to shake up my life.
But then I realized, I don't wanna be Manny.
I wanna be Freddie Roach.
He's dealt with a lot of champion boxers and won't take any of their shit.
In short, he's an excellent trainer, mentor and friend.
With those qualities of his, he produced the world's best in the arena.
I'm Freddie.
Now if I can find my Floyd and my Manny.
Ok, my Manny is Aimee.
Aimee oks lang ikaw si Manny?
Manny Pacquiao on Jimmy Kimmel Live PART 1
This was so much fun to watch.
I love Manny.
I'm sure he loves me too.
Antukin - Rico Blanco (Official Music Video)
Thanks Mae... you're right.
He's brilliant, and this song is so true.
HBO Sports: 24/7 Pacquiao Cotto Episode #1 (HBO)
Watch the other parts on Youtube. Excellent Sports feature.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Pacquiao Wins Again!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
For Aimee: Reasons to Eat Healthy
Aimee has become so happy with her single life and successful career that she has forgotten to take care of her body, munching on lard and having as much rice as she can take in.
I think it's disgusting and this has got to stop, especially after feeling the effects of staying in shape and eating healthy. So I have made it a point to help her.
1. Pooping won't be a chore anymore, but a very intense and gratifying human experience.
2. You will look like a female human being again.
3. You'll fit through your the doors of your office.
4. You won't have to make fun of yourself all the time and cry in your room later.
5. You won't have to worry about diabetes, hypertension, smelly sweat, a dark neck and gout.
6. You will have the right to bash your former flame, who according to you now looks like King Coopa from Mario Brothers.
7. You will finally fit into your tiny clothes. Remember, you used to wear next-to-nothing outfits in college?
8. Beach outing won't be scary anymore.
9. You will feel fresh and light in the morning. No snoring in the middle of the night, no more dreams of becoming the Marshmallow Lady, and most importantly, no more loud farts.
10. You will get laid again! Yay! So throw your dildo away and get thin.
Is There An Easy Way To Do Anything?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
They are all so lucky.
Jobs await them even before they step out of college.
Companies are eager to employ them to up their Emiratization numbers.
We used to have that kind of thing earlier this century.
What a big joke.
Now we're spread all over the world and don't have plans of going back home to work.
Speaking of work, I am so bored.
There's no breaking news, just my skin breaking out.
There's no big event, just my big fat ass stuck to the chair.
There's no extraordinary person to interview, just my extraordinary dislike for idleness in the office.
I am so bored.
Speaking of work, I am going to work out later.
It's high time I flush the McDonalds gunk out of my system.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Sonia gave me this herbal laxative.
Will use it tonight.
Also will disinfect the toilet.
And try to sleep without wrinkling my face.
Hi Aims!
Aimee's Future Husband
The Rebound
I don't even know why I own a really big bra.
It feels really heavy.
Did I wake up with so much confidence that I thought my breasts were a cup bigger?
Or was I just too sleepy to care which underwear to wear?
That remains a mystery.
Hate big bras with wood-hard underwires and straps that kill my shoulders.
But need to endure this feeling until 6 PM.
Oh the problems we have in life.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
CLOSER - DIDO
Are you kidding me?
There's a karaoke version of this song?
I love this song!
Reminds me of my first date in Dubai.
2006. Summer.
Roses, Breezers.
Fifi and her dance moves.
Single Colin, troubled Craig.
Fat Zeena.
What? It's been almost four years?
Barrio Fiesta Opens in Dubai
Ok. The food was amazing. The plates and the whole presentation will be changed on the opening night. Last night was just a trial thing. So in this picture, there's laing, tahong, sugpo, kare kare and sago gulaman. I had a little bit of some of them and too much of the Bacolod garlic rice, as well as the bagoong rice.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
New Cousin!
I have a new cousin! Tito Alex and his lovely wife just had their second baby boy, Roan. Alika now has a brother, and I now have millions of little cousins with contagious smiles all over the world. I have not even seen some of them, but I keep myself updated and look at their pictures all the time.
I heard Alika is a very friendly boy, and likes to smile a lot. Good. Tito Alex is very lucky to have two cute boys in his family.
I bet my aunts and uncles will never believe how much I've grown. Some of them haven't seen me in more than a decade. When I was as young as Alika, I didn't have cousins. I was the eldest. Now there's one born every year! One big happy family.
Even though I am in my late 20's, I still want to be able to play with my little cousins. When I see them, I am going to give them presents and make them laugh and just get them warmed up to the idea of having a really old cousin they've never seen before. Just the thought of them makes me feel young again. And playful and carefree. I've got to hang out with all of them before I get hitched. I don't want them to have nieces and nephews without even meeting me!
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Aimee
I remember that she was very sad at one point in her life and complained about everything.
Now she is in a much better place and is able to utilize her talent and intelligence with a job she enjoys.
We got in touch again last week, and our conversations have never been more meaningful.
It was as if we were just having coffee as Seattles Katipunan on a late week night.
She offers me excellent advice and tells it like it is.
Plus she's offering bartending courses for nothing, and I think I will take one in December.
It's high time I reconnect with friends back home.
It is proving to be very beneficial.
Aimee thinks she's fat.
Maybe she is.
Porker.
2009
2009 is a crazy year for all of us.
She's broken up with Randy after almost a decade.
Terri is getting married.
Cookie's house was almost destroyed by the flood.
Kath welcomed Carlo into her life and also suffered from the flood.
Wyson became a doctor.
Nikko became a lawyer.
Charm has quit her job to prepare for her migration to Canada.
Fifi started dating a guy other than her first boyfriend, but returned to the bastard anyway.
And me? One awesome holiday and one failed relationship.
It's amazing how each of us has a major story to tell this year.
It's usually this and that, blah blah, shits and giggles.
Maybe our lives have become too boring and needed to be shaken up.
This year definitely required more energy and thinking and support from the people we trust and love than I imagined.
My mom said that the Chinese believe that 2009 was going to be bad, because 9 is a very unlucky number.
I personally don't believe that.
It wasn't as if I lost my job (knock on wood) or a loved one (knock again).
I am healthy. I have my whole body intact and my whole life ahead of me.
And there is no lucky or unlucky.
There is only happiness, and it is our only choice.
Happiness or death.
At Terri's wedding, our speeches will be more meaningful.
The toast we will propose will be heartfelt.
And the laughter will be genuine.
2009 is crazy, but so are we.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Breast TLC: While You're In The Shower
Let's not be scared of breast cancer.
We can kick its ass.
But let's win the war before going to battle.
To all my girlfriends, take care of yourselves and be good to your bodies.
I'm one to talk.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Victory. Period.
My Favorite Things
Things that make us tingle inside and glow on the outside.
They are tangible, and therefore cannot be dismissed as unreal or disproved.
They give us an irreversible sense of comfort that is hard to dispel when we're in the moment of appreciating them.
They are the things that we either bought, received from someone special, or found.
Some meaningful, some simply too cute to ignore.
Nevertheless, they are the ones that cheer us up and make us feel good.
What are your favorite things?
Here are mine:
1. My journal. I will never divulge my secrets on the internet for everyone to feast on, but when it comes to writing in my journal, I disclose every single detail of my life. And that is why I love it. It doesn't argue with me; it just listens. Swallows every painful or happy thought streaming from my mind down to the pencil, onto the paper. I've kept a journal since I was eleven. Sixteen years on, I am still as enthusiastic to jot down my life bit by bit as I was when I was in fifth grade.
2. My Our Daily Bread book. My mom gave it to me last year before I left for Dubai. Every day I read it to gain wisdom and inspiration so that I may live each life to the fullest. Equipped with the little blue book, I challenge life to challenge me. It's always helped me in making big decisions. And when I cannot make a decision, The One Up There makes ways to decide for me.
3. My iPod Mini. It's 750 songs that date back to 2004. 750 songs reminding me of different times in my life, especially when I was writing scripts for a TV show back home. It's got everything: Spice Girls, Placebo, Live, Fuel, Garbage, No Doubt, Ciudad, E-heads, Cynthia Alexander. It's got everything I need to get my through a long drive down Emirates Road.
4. My fan. I love fanning my face! It reminds me of Maria Clara and Sunday masses. I feel like a lady and I feel heavily guarded -- ironically, with such a feminine weapon. I would like to be as soft spoken and flawless as the traditional Filipina, but I can only fan my face.
5. A mixed CD. When I was in college one of my good friends said he was in love with me, and gave me a CD of songs that he liked, and maybe helped him tell how he felt towards me. A relationship between us never materialized, but I kept the CD and I've always listened to it. Beth Orton's Central Reservation (acoustic version) is one of the best tracks for me.
6. My phone. I need not say more, but I will. With it I can get in touch with the people I love, wherever they are in the world. Plus it makes me look busy when I am alone. If it weren't for it, I would probably be bored and homesick and drop dead eventually.
7. My milk salt spa. Scrubbing is very very therapeutic, especially when the grains smell great! My friends recommended a certain brand of scrub and I've been using it twice a week. I believe it improves blood circulation and makes my skin smoother, plus it makes me feel really good inside and out, knowing that I am taking care of myself and people are noticing.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Halloween 2009
I went as Miss Congeniality.
Nice pink gown (which Fifi and Mae stitched up in three seconds).
A bejewelled tiara.
Boots.
A gun strapped to my thigh.
And of course. A donut.
I had to eat two donuts to complete my ensemble.
So I mingled with Chun Li, a geisha, Audrey Hepburn, Annie and a bunch of other fun people.
Not much drinking and smoking, which is good.
A but of dancing.
I loved the party.
It was a much needed break and a chance to go gay again.