NOT helping.
I read all about diuretics and they're supposed to flush all my water weight down the toilet.
I must have had three gallons of water today and even gulped down a cup of black coffee, because these are the best natural diuretics.
Well, why do I feel like a giant tree trunk after a nasty rain? Why am I swollen? It keeps me from having a swell time.
I can't enjoy food, and I certainly DON'T enjoy starving. And I don't enjoy walking down the street under the hot hot sun as my thighs engage in a bitchfight. And I don't enjoy jogging around the neighborhood as the humidity approaches 100% every single day. And I don't like the idea of growing another chin, as I see no use for it. I don't like the fact that I can't fit into my fabulous outfits and wear make up to make me look like I only have two cheeks.
WHY? WHY DO I HAVE TO GAIN WEIGHT EVERY SINGLE SHITTY MINUTE?
Well I'm going to lose weight whatever it takes.
My motivation? Check this out:
http://www.jesusseesus.com/swinegod/swinegod3.html
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