When I want to bitch about men and think of them as the worst creatures ever made, and wish they could actually disappear from the face of the earth, I talk to my girlfriends. And if all my girlfriends gathered around me and joined forces, I honestly believe they can make any guy go to hell for messing with me.
"Well Zeena, I thought he was too dumb for you anyway."
"Yeah, and don't tell me you've NEVER complained about how his armpits stink. COME. ON."
"Snap out of it, Zeena. You'll find someone better, and with a smaller nose."
"Like he had HALF the brain to stick with you."
"You're fabulous. And he can bury his face in that whore's genitals forever, but you? You'll paint the town red with your charms."
And 10 minutes into the bitterness banter, I feel so much better, like no one can shatter me. I am more confident than ever, knowing that 20 other girls are wishing he would die.
However, if I want enlightenment, I turn to my guy friends. THey can be painfully honest, but at least I'm not kept in the dark. And then I know that it's not MY fault the whole thing didn't work out.
"We're really stupid Zeena. The problem with us is, we know it when see a great girl but we don't know how to keep her."
"Testosterones. Not love, honey."
"He doesn't like you anymore. And even if everybody thinks you're the greatest girl in the world, he will never come back to you."
"He stopped calling you? He's calling another girl. Your Saturday nights are someone else's."
"You're an old cow. He's found a new one."
And even though I feel like the one disappearing from the face of the earth, I just move on and hope that the next guy will have less testosterones.
Ohhh forget enlightenment. Screw truth.
Given a choice, I like my cheerleaders better than my coaches. Call it bitterness, call it bitching, go ahead dude.
I call it sisterhood.
3 comments:
Oh my goodnezzz gracious great balls of fire!!! Zeeenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Potah miss na kita! I'm with Jel sa Baang kowfee, stalking a bald chef who cooked not-so-good steak for us last Saturday ng madaling araw. Pero sabi ni Jel, he's good enuf to eat daw. Che!;) Nung una, kras ko din pero nung Sunday night, eh di pumasok si Andrew Wolfe... and this chef guy was making silip through his kitchen door. Ok lang yun... guapo naman si Andrew at baka tinitignan niya kung type din namin ni Jel... Pero eto ka... dumating ang napakasikat na si MON CONFIADO! Nakow... sumilip na naman! Anu veh... So ako na-turn off na at mega support na lang kay Jel pag type niya mag-BAAANG kowfi. Here at Baang kowfee, Jel's dream is that she can BAAANG the chef. Hihihi. Tapos, tapos, tapos... eh hulaan mo kung zinong bago kong kras! Ops... bago yan... Magbabalik ang... BAAANG THE CHEF! MAKUBA KA SA MMMM.... TIKIM! Katakam-takam diva!?:) Email na lang kita, sabi ni Jel nakikita pala to ng lahat. Wehehe.:) Mmmmmmwah!
Why not to think the other girl is greater than you in some way , and like big noses.
Ummm I was being bitter, can't you get it? That's the whole point of this blog entry. And yes I know that we all have preferences, but the last time I checked, NOBODY wants to date a giant nose. Thanks for reading this! High five!
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