One-liners that say it all

The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein

i am not stupid but i definitely don't want to be a genius.

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-Billy Crystal

Yeah, we need a reason, but we'd really appreciate a nice venue.

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
-Richard Jeni

How many couples are really honest to each other? Really, how many want to hear that their partner didn't enjoy the sex tonight, or the valentine gift they received was disappointing? Sometimes a little white lie doesn't hurt. It even helps keep the romance alive.
But you know what? I wouldn't like that kind of relationship.
So yeah, I'm all for honesty. He he.

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
-Sharon Stone

Fair enough. Men say "I love you", women say "I love you too", and they start a relationship. Then men look forward to sex of course. They think everything's going to be perfect until the lovemaking stage. I love being a woman.

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."
-Groucho Marx

Sometimes it's easier for me to agree with difficult people than defend my beliefs. What I do, I bash them in my journal. What a sly way of making a point, and making fun of others.

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein

I don't mind waiting a lifetime for someone I really care about, whether we're jsut having coffee or having a smoke.
But I do mind waiting 10 minutes for a sucky colleague at work.

"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ."
-Woody Allen

Amen.

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
-Oscar Wilde

I am cursed forever!