a refreshing night

A few weeks ago we had our SAMASKOM alumni acquaintance party, and it was my most fun night in months! I got to see my friends from college and it was very refreshing to chika, dance and laugh with them!

Jel and I had work that afternoon so we rushed home and prepared for the party, and when we got there we just had to gulp down our free beer and meet the other fabulous alumni!


me, nomer, yam, nesty and jel


me and miro. musical director ng maraaaaming live aids and vocalist of stonefree. rockstar shit!
ang istoryang dinebelop ng samaskom!
iba't iba ngunit iisa ang kwento.
buhay ang sa iyo magtuturo
matututo kang harapin ang tunay na mundo!


me and jel my lab. check out our latest eyebag collection!


jel, miro, gladys, marzi ko diona, me and leng!


me, nomer, gladys. nomer my agricultural hero gets sexual with gladys while i singit singit and ruin the momentum...


strike a pose! diona, maggie and me and nesty. uy si nesty nasa likod, paki aninag na lang.

i had a great evening! more SAMASKOM parties to come!

One-liners that say it all

The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein

i am not stupid but i definitely don't want to be a genius.

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-Billy Crystal

Yeah, we need a reason, but we'd really appreciate a nice venue.

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
-Richard Jeni

How many couples are really honest to each other? Really, how many want to hear that their partner didn't enjoy the sex tonight, or the valentine gift they received was disappointing? Sometimes a little white lie doesn't hurt. It even helps keep the romance alive.
But you know what? I wouldn't like that kind of relationship.
So yeah, I'm all for honesty. He he.

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
-Sharon Stone

Fair enough. Men say "I love you", women say "I love you too", and they start a relationship. Then men look forward to sex of course. They think everything's going to be perfect until the lovemaking stage. I love being a woman.

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."
-Groucho Marx

Sometimes it's easier for me to agree with difficult people than defend my beliefs. What I do, I bash them in my journal. What a sly way of making a point, and making fun of others.

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein

I don't mind waiting a lifetime for someone I really care about, whether we're jsut having coffee or having a smoke.
But I do mind waiting 10 minutes for a sucky colleague at work.

"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ."
-Woody Allen

Amen.

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
-Oscar Wilde

I am cursed forever!

Leo in Love

Oh, love is real enough; you will find it someday, but it has one archenemy -- and that is life.
-Jean Anouilh Ardele

i am a big fan of love, whether it's artificial, superficial, or real mad passionate love. the problem is, i am also a big fan of life. a worry-free, hell-to-the-world, i-am-god life. why must love and life clash, when i've always believed that love is the very reason i am here in this world? i am inspired to wake up each morning and face what life serves me when i am in love, but the dynamics of life can leave me dumbfounded. just when love has adorned my life, fate selfishly takes it away from me.

In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-Elizabeth Ashley American Actress

i love playing the role of a woman in love. i am high, i am free, i am myself, only 100 times better. and if the one i love feels the same, then we can star in our own movie, one that never ends and has a thousand climaxes.

Love is a great beautifier.
-Louisa May Alcott 1832-1888, American Author

i am alive when i am in love. i fall, bleed, cry, but i stil end up beautiful. i guess it's not only the feeling that makes me fabulous, but the things i learn from feeling it. and i am willing to learn from the right person.

Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.
-Henri Frederic Amiel 1821-1881, Swiss Philosopher, Poet, Critic

i am done with pretending. to others i can be zeena, the bonehead, the comic relief, the escapist, the unfeeling shithead, the subordinate who bows down every time, or even the warrior princess. but to the one i love i am zeena, a girl who has so much love to give, no matter how weird i show it.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-Joan Crawford 1904-1977, American Actress

i am a leo. leo is a fire sign. fire is passion, bravely blazing across everyone's lives i touch. fire is warmth, something i can give to the one i love if given the opportunity.
but fire is also my downfall. i can burn someone if i give to much, and i can also get burned if i don't stop playing with fire.

SHREDS

SHREDS

you got away with what is yours
what's mine is still unknown
how can you not know
you cost me my patience

ive never seen your shadow
never walked through your door
ive never seen you happy or sad
i dont know what you have

but you tear me down to shreds
and i like it
confetti in your mind
that's what i am
ill shower with me
would that be all right?

i dont get tired of you
when youre not aware of me
youve caused too many daydreams
icant relate to life
ive never seen what is
beyond your eyes and hands
but i do knwo there is a way
so how long will i have to wait?

coz you tear me down to shreds
and i like it
confetti in your mind
thats what i am
ill shower you with me
would that be all right?

and if you let me in your dreams tonight
do i have the right to stay tonight?
and never wake you up
coz it feels so right

doesnt it feel all right?
i know it feels all right
feels all right
feels all right.....

waiting time

in a corner on the 15th floor, taking pictures of myself while everyone waited for a meeting to start


in our room in galera, waiting for the girls to get dressed!


in the office, waiting for a meeting again


in galera, waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting for someone to wake up!


in jel's room, waiting for her to get dressed


masscom lobby, waiting for my thesis partner


in bed, waiting for myself to get on my feet


yosi, ground floor, waiting for yosi buddies


in quezon, waiting for my friends to take a bath. waiting again.

vegetarian?

ME AND THE VEGGIES

wala lang! haha!


kama-tis is it!


what a sili idea!

from one escapist to another

my friend ria taught me to push away negative thoughts.
shrug them off, drink them down, smoke them away, bring the (videoke) house down and listen to yourself sing until you can't hear others drag you down.

she's right.


it's our way or the gateway!


seattles morato. naglalaitan ng buhay!



before her big exhibit. preference: no difference!

high school

ILANG ARAW NA LANG

Nikko, Yogi, Teresa ,Kaye and I composed this song for our alma mater a few days before our graduation. We sang it in fron to f the whole batch and the juniors.
Don't you just miss high school?

Umaga na naman
Heto parin ako naghihintay
Sana bumuhos ang ulan
Mabuti pang magtext na lang
May quiz kami sa physics at trigo
Hirap kasi, walang kapantay
Magclinic ka na lang

Huwag na lang kaya ako pumasok
(Masakit ang aking batok)
Di na talaga ako papasok

Pero teka nandiyan mga kaibigan
Mga teachers na maaasahan
Di malimutang pinagsamahan
Chikahang walang hangganan
Ilang araw na lang
Tapos na ang lahat ng 'to
Mamimiss ko talaga ang Miriam

Hapon na naman
Heto pa rin ako naghihintay
Sana huwag na kong sunduin
Ayoko pang umuwi

Sana bukas ay may pasok
(Bakit last day ko na 'to?)
Gusto ko bukas ay may pasok

Dahil syempre nandiyan mga kaibigan
Mga teachers na maaasahan
Di malimutang pinagsamahan
Chikahang walang hangganan
Ilang araw na lang
Tapos na ang lahat ng 'to
Mamimiss ko talaga ang Miriam

Ilang araw na lang
Mamimiss ko talaga ang Miriam


me and spren charm at seattles katipunan.
pharmacist siya. how is she? may boyfriend na ba?


wyson, cookie and me in cookie's car. tambay tambay.
pero kami ni wys may ginagawa sa totoong buhay. si cookie lang talaga ang tambay.


me and wys at cafe lupe. sobrang tagal na naming friends. she was the first one to see the freak in me. nilait lait niya yung spanish skirt ko nung grade 4. sana may picture siya nung nadapa siya nung nagjogging kami. gumulong gulong siya sa semento. hah!


nikko and me. in front of pan de manila katipunan. adik siya sa pandesal. musta yun?


cookie. niloloko loko ko kasi nadidistract magdrive. si nikko nasa likod masaya lang.
nanuod kami nito ng super flop na movie, yung si ashton with the black girl. hindi kami natawa.
pero patok na patok kay cookie. yeah, that's cooks for you.


nikko and me, mcdo eastwood. nagpapicture kami with jimpson, yung kadiring guy na feeling model. basta nakakatawa yun!


cookie and me. quality time at bento box katipunan.
kwento siya ng mga tennis dudes na pinagnanasaan niya.
one of the boys daw siya. ako one of the vaklers.

freakazoid!

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
-Robin Williams, on being weird

Bakit minsan wala tayo sa ayos? para tayong tanga.
Bakit minsan pwede namang gawin nang tama ang mga bagay bagay, eto tayo minamali mali?
eh ang saya nun eh.
mali lahat, pero masaya ka.
tulad ng mga pictures na to.


pre-videoke pigout. cheap burger, even cheaper pose.


videoke...videoke...videoke!


ok, nanira ako ng solo pic. eh gusto ko eh.


kala namin maganda sa beach na to. panghi pala.

SO LONG, FAREWELL!

my friend said goodbye a little sooner than i expected.
there is something terribly wrong with that.
he says think about it, talk about it, face it!
i say enjoy while it lasts, make the most out of the precious time left.

don't you just hate timebomb situations?
the clock ticks and you know it will never cease to.
and the explosion just devastates you.

i cannot afford to dwell on it.
i can't handle it.
i'm not used to it.
i'm not good at it.

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos." -Snoopy


"I quit, I give up, nothing's good enough for anybody else, it seems...When I'm all alone it's the best way to be. When I'm by myself nobody else can say goodbye. Everything is temporary anyway." -Anonymous quotes

M.I.A

MIA
Foo Fighters



Call and I’ll answer
At home in the lost and found
You say that I’m much too proud
Someone who’s taken pleasure
In breaking down

Never mind the mannequins
Drunk in their hollow town
Drinking their spoils down
Cheap imitations
A revelation is now

Yeah, you won’t find me
I’m going m.i.a.
Tonight I’m leaving
Going m.i.a.
Getting lost in you again
Is better than being numb

Counting every minute
Till the feeling comes crashing down
Run when it hits the ground
I’m good at escaping
But better at flaking out

Calling unanswered
The center becomes blown out
Stuck on the inside now
It’s fear I’m embracing
I never could face you down

Red, red, laced around your head
Cold and rescued

Yeah, you won’t find me
I’m going m.i.a.
Tonight I’m leaving
Going m.i.a.
So you don’t find me
I’m going m.i.a.
Tonight I’m leaving
Going m.i.a.

Say goodbye to me
I’m going m.i.a.
I can find relie
fI’m going m.i.a.
Getting lost in you again
Is better than being numb
Better than playing dumb

aurora

AURORA
Foo Fighters

You believe there’s something else
To relieve your emptyness
And you dream about yourself
And you bleed and breath the air
And it’s on and on and on and on and on

I just kinda died for you
You just kinda stared at me
We will always have the chance
We can do this one more time

Hell yeah, I remember aurora
Hell yeah, I remember aurora
All this time
Hell yeah, I remember aurora
Take me now
You spin the sun around
And the stars will all come out
Then we turn and come back down
Turn and come back down

You believe there’s somewhere else
Where it’s easier than this
And you see outside yourself
And you buy the hole you’ll fill
And it’s on and on and on and on and on

On and on and on aurora
Wait for everyone
Wait till the last one’s done
Take me now
You spin the sun around
And the stars will all come out
Then we turn and come back down
Turn and come back down
Turn and come back down
On and on and on and on...

my freaky foot

Carrie: You have to figure ... if the world's fattest twins can find love, there's hope for all of us. Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us, understand us, and kiss our 3 heads and make it all better. -Sex and the City

We're all freaks.
But we're quick to hide that side of us because we fear rejection.
Why? We're all freaks.
It's funny how someone gets disgusted at me because I'm being myself.
We're all freaks!
I can assure you that no matter how perfect a person may seem, he or she is hiding something, a weirdness waiting to be uncovered and embraced. And be recognized as essential in his or her personality.

In the end, when I'm tired of putting my best food forward, all I have is my second best foot to count on. And if someone kisses it for all its imperfection... (what a freaky thing to do!) then good.
And my best foot can finally retire. It doesn't have to wander anymore.

zeena

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals."
-Buddha

Buddha bless you.

one guitar, a million thoughts

I like to write when I feel spiteful; it's like having a good sneeze.~ D. H. Lawrence

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~Maya Angelou

shreds
for the groupies

you got away with what is yours
what's mine is still unknown
how can you not know
you cost me my patience?
i've never seen your shadow
never walked through your door
i've never seen you happy or sad
i don't know what you have

but you tear me down to shreds
and i like it
confetti in your mind
that's what i am
i'll shower you with me
would that be all right?

i don't get tired of you
when you're not aware of me
you've caused me too many day dreams
i can't relate to life
i've never seen what is beyond your eyes and hands
but i do know there is a way
so how long do i have to wait?

'coz you tear me down to shreds
and i like it
confetti in your mind
that's what i am
i'll shower you with me
would that be all right?

if i let you in my dreams tonight
you have the right to stay tonight
and never wake me up
'coz it feels so right
doesn't it feel all right?


playroom
for the frustrated and annoyed

i can't teach you tricks
yo uare not a dog
can't expect your grace
you are not my god
so how can i relate to you?
how can i tell if...

you want to kill me
or segregate me
or take me to a place i've never been to?
dress me down or make me over
or leave me hanging in a corner somewhere?

i can't fix you now
i don't have the tools
i can't disagree
i don't have the right
so how can i see through you?
how can i tell if...

you want to punch me
or reprimand me
or leave me here where i do not want to stay
you feed my sadness
add to my madness
to you the best thing is my defeat

you're toying my pride
i'm letting it loose
but try to be
try to be me

i can't see you
could it be that you're not real?
and i can't close your eyes
'coz you are not me
so how would you like to talk?
take me out for a walk...

and tell me false things
and tell me they're true
and then accuse me of not listening to you?
you crush my ego
you think i don't know?
you want to keep me in your little playroom

keep me in your little playroom
in your little playroom
little playroom

relax
for the escapists

no one's bleeding
no one's to blame
i'm cool
it's all good
you had to go
and find yourself
not bad

in spite of myself
you gave me nothing
but happiness profound
and it did me wonders
and i'm cool
no one's bleeding
no one's to blame

and i fed my tears to the lions in my head
never neglected the thought of your return
arms to wrap, eyes to trap
and i lose my reasons

cold and hot nights
the same
rain and sunshine
the same
come back, come back
bring back color
bring back weather

you did not leave
i was not left behind
we are in touch
with nothing but hope
but feeling
no one's bleeding
and no one's to blame

and i fed my tears to the lions in my head
never neglected the thought of your return
arms to wrap, eyes to trap
and i lose my reasons

and when i wake up in the morning
swolen eyes, runny nose
i say to myself
i'm cool
no one's bleeding
no one's to blame

i am irving feffer

Danny: Does he make you laugh?
Tess: He doesn't make me cry.
-Ocean's Eleven
Is it enough that your significant other doesn't disagree with you, harm you in any way, or get in the way with what you do? That's a pity. He just lets you be. When you part ways, you realize that he hasn't taught you anything; he just let you be.
Yes, it's true, everyone is an island. But we're islands linked with chains (About A Boy). We're supposed to affect each other's lives.
Unless you've cried, laughed, fought and felt with him, you've never been with him.

Barry Egan: You are so beautiful. I love you so much I want to smash your face in with a sledgehammer.
Lena Leonard: I love you so much I want to scoop your eyeballs out of their sockets and chew and suck on them. [Pause]
Barry Egan: This is funny. This is nice.
-Punch Drunk Love
How strange is love? Sometimes it's the one you love you want to kill, because you feel so much for him that you don't know how to handle your emotions anymore. You want to hurt him, to see if this is real and not a fleeting escape. You want to ruin things to get ahead of the actual goodbye.
Or sometimes you just want to see how you too hurt together.
That's just sweet.

Mauricio: You Had Me At "Get Lost".
-Shallow Hal
The more someone treats you like shit the more you gravitate towards him. Of course that's not a good thing, but it's challenging.
I like to be mistreated once in a while. I find it funny. If I were perfect I'd probably die of boredom.
Not all the time though.

Troy: See Lainy, this is all we need. A couple of smokes, a cup of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks.
Lelaina: You got it!
-Reality Bites
Ah, the cheap thrills I miss the most. All I need to have fun are good company and a thousand jokes. Don't you feel like sneaking out of a glamorous cocktail party so you can have a beer or two with your best friends at the cheapest beer joint in town?
Cheap beer is good when shared with priceless friends.

Amelia:We're young, we deserve to be young. We deserve to be young together.
-Riding in Cars with Boys
I will keep this in mind until the day I lose my teeth. I don't ever want to feel too old for anything. Not to mention doing anything alone.
Toothless and alone. Nah, I'm not going to be that old lady.
I'm going to have nice dentures and even nicer friends.

Bridget: It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.
-Bridget Jones's Diary
Which part of my life is going okay anyway?
And which is falling to pieces?
Do I have time to check?
I'm too busy trying not to fall to pieces at work.

Irving Feffer: It's not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It's about the ride, for Christ's sake. There is no point in going through all this crap, if your are not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what... when you least expect something great might come along. Something better then you even planned for.
-Along Came Polly
I am Irving Feffer. There.

what to do?

relax
or
keep up the fight?



hope for the best
or
expect the worst?



feel no shame
or
practice modesty?



burn out
or
just fade away?



love what you do
or
do what you love?



i say
love those who also do what you do
because when you all stop doing it
you'll find there's so much more you can do with them

and that's the time
you can relax
hope for the best
and will feel no shame
because whether you burn out or just fade away
you know you're not alone in this

you know what to do
just do it!

a hard day's night (the beatles)

It's been a hard day's night, and I been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright

You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things
And it's worth it just to hear you say you're going to give me everything
So why on earth should I moan, 'cause when I get you alone
You know I feel ok
When I'm home everything seems to be right
When I'm home feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah

It's been a hard day's night, and I been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright

So why on earth should I moan, 'cause when I get you alone
You know I feel ok
When I'm home everything seems to be right
When I'm home feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah

It's been a hard day's night, and I been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you
I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright
You know I feel alright
You know I feel alright...

i am the universe

yeah, we live in a man's world, but i have my own universe.

happy days

RUNNING No Doubt


Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side



MeI'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most



I'm so sorry that I've fallen
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love



Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?



We're running
Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated



BeBe the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me



Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

An eye for an eye

You have to promise not to judge.
Do I judge?
We all judge. It's our hobby. Some people do arts and crafts, we judge.
-SEX AND THE CITY



I judge. I talk about people in the spirit of humor. I am very opinionated but never confrontational. Does that mean I back stab? Backstabbing is badmouthing someone to ruin his or her reputation, and I do not have that intention. I judge because I have five senses, I have a brain, and I have a voice. Not to mention an eye for details. Or flaws.

And who says I don't judge myself? That's the disadvantage of having such a gift. I suffer the most. I judge my hair, the way I dress, the way I acted in front of a friend, the way I never seem to get something right, I judge my nailbeds for crying out loud!

So there. I judge. And I don't mind being judged at all. Judge me!

BEDTIME THOUGHTS

FROM THE ALCHEMIST, PAULO COEHLO

It's really the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.
What is my ultimate dream? Haven't figured it out yet. It's hard to determine my one great dream when I have so many. Maybe the awareness that such a thing exists, the desire to determine my ultimate dream, is enough for now. I don't want to live everyday thinking about it, because I have other things to do --- like going for that dream without me knowing it.

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.
I used to want so many things at once that I did not have enough energy to pray for all of them. Now I just want one at a time, and if I do get it, I'm the happiest girl in the world at that moment. If I don't, I move on to the next thing on my list.
Right now I just really really want to sing my songs and relax. Will "all the universe conspire" to give me some free time?

...he realized he had to choose between thinking of himself as a poor victim of a thief and as an adventurer in quest of his treasure. "I am an adventurer, looking for treasure," he said to himself.
I will never ever see myself as a victim. I am a beautiful person. Reject me, stall me, escape me and I will wait patiently... not for you, but for another opportunity. I think of every quest as a race against myself. I fall down, trip, even get bruised, but I never give up until I reach the finish line. Sometimes I just walk while others run past me. Well, I have my own pace. I'll get there -- not to win the race, but to finish what I've started. That's how we Leos are: we just go ahead and tread the track, whether we win or not.

All things are one.
All things are one-derful. Amen. Except for condescending bastards.

When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.
What decision have I made lately? The decision to indulge in something that might hurt me in the future. It's all good. I don't care for the consequences. I just want to see how far this decision will take me. So far...there's no looking back, I've gone a long long way.

...intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life, where the histories of all people are connected and we are able to know everything, because it's all written there.
I choose to do this because I feel like it. It may not be right, it may even be the stupidest thing in the world, but I always follow my instinct.
Maybe it's been a long time since my life had a conflict. Just when things fall into place, I suddenly hunger for some pain and sacrifice.

People need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want.
I don't even know what I need and want. But I don't fear the unknown. I like it when events unfold before me, and when I look back, I cannot believe how far I have come. Fearing the unknown never gets me anywhere. And I am always on my feet. Always.

We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand.
It's the dumbest thing about me: I don't fear losing what I have, because I always think that there is always something better that can replace it. What I really fear is, losing something I do not have yet. I am afraid that my sleepless nights and endless stream of thoughts will go to waste. Oh well. I can always move on to much better things, but if I still lose them before I actually have them, then the my life story is shit, and I am a pariah in the history of the world.
Nah, there must be something good written there about me.

If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man... life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now.
That's me. The happy woman. I'm all for living in the present, because I always find myself wanting to alter my predictable future.
Life is a party. Every person I meet is a guest. He or she may choose to leave or stay, and my party will never end.
Cheers!

Who's stupid now?

"The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of
you." -Tom, Four Weddings and a Funeral

NEW by NO DOUBT

Don't let it go away
This feeling has got to stay
Don't let it go away
This feeling has got to stay
And I can't believe I've had this chance now
Don't let it go away

New, you're so new
You, you're new
And I never had this taste in the past
New, you're so new
My normal hesitation is gone
And I really gravitate to your will
Are you here to fetch me out?
'Cause I've never had this taste in my mouth

You're not old
And you're not familiar
Recently discovered and I'm learning about you
New, you're so new
You, you're new
And you're consuming me violently
And your reverence shamelessly tempting me
Who sent this maniac?
'Cause I never had this taste in the past

You're different, you're different from the former
Like a fresh battery I'm energized by you

Why am I so curious?
This territory is dangerous
I'll probably end up at the start
I'll be back in line with my broken heart

New, you're so new
You, you're new
And I never had this taste in the past