doncha?

doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
ito yung kanta ng pussycat dolls.
sila yan, yung nasa taas nito.
very pop ng song, very bad ng dolls, nakaka LSS tuloy.
eto yung kumakanta talaga sa kanila.
ang hot nga niya.

I LOVE ZEENA!

i will think of nothing but myself this weekend.
yup, i will be an unfeeling hedonist frolicking around the city.
i started by splurging on clothes this morning with my good friend fifi.
then i had a pedicure and a manicure while napping before going to work.
then i had my brows and upper lip threaded this evening.
tomorrow i will undergo plastic surgery!
of course i'm kidding.
i want to do something really peaceful and purely selfish, like read a book
in a coffee shop, write in my journal, or get a massage.
nothing too meaningful.
what's meaningful? time for myself. i miss myself.
i spend most of my life trying to please other people,
doing what they want, giving them what they need and
saying what they want to hear.
and i bet it won't be hard to do those things for myself.
all together now! .... I LOVE YOU ZEENA...I LOVE YOU ZEENA....

zero energy

today i feel like i will collapse anytime.
is it possible to feel very very tired without doing much?
i'm probably burning out.
from what?!
maybe i should be doing something else.
but what?
i wrote a song a week ago to describe my emotions these past few weeks.
but i don't know if the words in my song captured my exact emotions.
oh well. writing a song is always relaxing.

UNDER THE COVERS

busy days
no wants to have coffee
no one cares if your heart's broken
everyone is running around

not today
i'm going to ignore the noise
and listen to good music
remind myself to quit daydreaming and

from under the covers
i'll get up and dress up
i'll go out there to win the fight
call up my lover
and then i'll discover
won't let the world eat me alive

wednesdays
midweek boredom
fun is gone
it said goodbye yesterday
and i am left with the sound
of my footsteps

i want to play
kick up my heels and laugh
and say hello to everyone
so tomorrow morning waking up is easy

from under the covers
i'll get up and dress up
i'll go out there to win the fight
call up my lover
and then i'll discover
won't let the world eat me alive

YOU LOOK SO FINE by Garbage

You look so fine

I want to break your heart
And give you mine
You're taking me over

It's so insane
You've got me tethered and chained
I hear your name
And I'm falling over

I'm not like all the other girls
I can't take it like the other girls
I won't share it like the other girls
That you used to know

You look so fine
Knocked down
Cried out
Been down just to find out
I'm through
Bleeding for you

I'm open wide
I want to take you home
We'll waste some time
You're the only one for me

You look so fine
I'm like the desert tonight
Leave her behind
If you want to show me

I'm not like all the other girls
I won't take it like the other girls
I won't fake it like the other girls
That you used to know

You're taking me over
Over and over
I'm falling over
Over and over
You're taking me over

Drown in me one more time
Hide inside me tonight
Do what you want to do
Just pretend happy end
Let me know let it show
Ending with letting go
Let's pretend, happy end

sunday morning call by oasis

Here's another sunday morning call
Yer hear yer head-a-banging on the door
Slip your shoes on and then out you crawl
Into a day that couldn't give you more
But what for?
And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
You take what you want
But you won't get it for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more
But i'm not sure if it ever works out right
But it's ok.
It's alright
When yer lonely and you want to hear
The little voices in your head at night
You will only sniff away the tears
So you can dance until the morning light
At what price
And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
You take what you want
But you won't get it for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more
But i'm not sure if it ever works out right
But it's ok.
It's alright
And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
You take what you want
But you won't get it for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more
And i'm not sure if it'll ever, ever, ever work out right
Will it ever, ever, ever work out right?
Cos it never, never, never works out right

breast wishes

i am a big fan of boobs. actually an aspirant.
i don't really want gigunda parachutes hanging down my chest.
i just want bigger breasts so i can look good in clothes that show off my cleavage, which i'm still trying to look for right now .
i don't want silicone implants.
i dont want socks or monay.

i want my breasts to grow until they're a decent 34 B.

because my hips are so loving the attention.

how do i do that?

i must, i must.....

see you around

a song for lye, jel, elaine, bridge, dodi, ces, dan, bheng, inggo, cookie, lenni, melo....

afternoons
dirty coffee mugs
cigarette break small talks
anything to keep my mind off

loneliness
it's eating me alive
this isn't what i want
i'm sure there's something else

coz i am tired
of making up excuses
for all my fears and worries
i'm sure you know what i mean

so run into me down the hall
stop and ask me how i've been
light my smoke and tell me
you'll see me around

rain rain
make it go away
to come again another day
together with the fun

coz i am tired
of making up excuses
for all my fears and worries
i'm sure you know what i mean

so run into me down the hall
stop and ask me how i've been
light my smoke and tell me
you'll see me around

so when they look for me
i'm nowhere to be found
and when you come for me
i'll stop running around

let's have a beer on the 13th floor
joke about this dead end boredom
hum a few familiar songs
and it's all right

i can sleep sound tonight

no worries

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
--Oscar Wilde

The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses in your cheeks and in your soul. --Linda Knight

Laughter is an instant vacation. --Milton Berle

best weekend in months

cavite.
cookie's house.
judge icasiano.
tons of food.
ukay.
coffee (and the brand new coffee maker).
chika fatale.
pinoy big bridget.
rain.
road trip.
laugh trip.
vic sotto and ruby rodriguez.
joed's mega disco.
zeena.
lye.
jel.
elaine.
bridge.
cookie.
nix.
lenni.
again on october 12.
abangan!

23 ways to live life at 23 (in no particular order)

1. lose the fats
2. give a damn. already!
3. map out long-term career plans
4. start saving for the future
5. fight aging
6. pay at least one bill
7. be in a serious relationship
8. read good books
9. listen to good music
10. write good songs
11. journal entry about self-assessment
12. be completely financially independent
13. have a fitness routine
14. be spiritual
15. establish connections
16. appear on TV
17. travel
18. learn to say "no"
19. say yes when i need to
20. get acquainted with the notion of responsibility
21. unconditional self-love
22. strive to be and look fabulous
23. show some attitude

my kind of women

i've always loved music.
i admire women who make music and are not afraid to express their happiness, sadness, vulnerability, angst and concern through meaningful lyrics and enchanting melodies.
and so i have created a posse, through which every member's principles and tunes i live by.


here's to the girl who has always been beautiful. period. whether donned in a dress or a shabby ensemble, she just radiates this timeless beauty that captivates me.
you picked me like a cherry
and i don't understand
and it killed me with a craving
and i don't understand


where can you find a girl as cool her. she sings about failure in love and life--- how she always ends up getting hurt and getting shortchanged in relationships. she belts out her emotions for everyone to hear, and still she is the desire of every man, even commitment-phobics.
don't let it go away
this feeling has got to stay
don't let it go away
this feeling has got to stay
and i can't believe i've had this chance now
don't let it go away


i've always wanted to be like her. she yodels, and everyone listens. her powerful voice gets her emotions across. and i am one of those who are still being touched by her old records. there is no one like her in this world.
can't you see me? can't you hear me? can't you see me standing there?
my identity. has it been taken? is my heart breaking?
all my plans, fell through my hands
all dreams suddenly seem empty.........


she made me see being misunderstood as a way of life. sometimes i wish i could be as twisted and famous as her so i can get away with anything. never have i witnessed angst and troubledness transform into good music.
i feel the horses
coming galloping
i will never grow old i'll go to heaven tonight


her face is angelic, her tunes are groovy, and her lyrics are frank. all the absurdities of life captured in one favorite song of mine.
the night is on edge now hanging low against the tide
the world is at its best now when the loveless ones collide
it's a long night, a beautiful night
we were the first leftovers of the night


the most successful leo, as far as i'm concerned. the chameleon, the goddess. she has changed her look and lifestyle a million times, which i plan to do when i finally believe in myself. and that's what she's here for: to inspire me to do that!
the face of you
my subsitute for love
my substitute for love
should i wait for you?
my substitute for love
my subsitute for love

every night i listen to their music.
i thought that it was my way to escaping myself.
but i realized that it was really the key to knowing myself better.
and waiting for the these women in me to come out.

tribal tots

tribal tots

zeena's days out

I love easy days. Coffee, cigarettes and a good time. Sometimes I forget that life's cheap thrills are the key to productivity at work. When I am energized and I have dusted off all the tension and stress with a pedicure and a good laugh, I am once again ready to jump into the arena where I can be eaten alive a.ka. office.


BEAUTY DAY OUT WITH FIFI!!!






I WAS SUNNY'S PERSONAL ASSISTANT WHEN SHE AUDITIONED FOR WAZZUP WAZZUP AS A TADJOCK!


TOTS AND ME A FEW HOURS BEFORE OUR MONTHSARY




BRIDGE AND ME CHATTING THE AFTERNOON AWAY WHILE DISCUSSING OUR CAREER OPTIONS...

clueless and happy

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress
I live my life as lightly as possible. Why? I come from an emotionally turbulent past, a decade ago caused by family problems, and recently, a relationship that left me disillusioned. So now that things are falling into place and I don't know what will happen next, I try to take life one day at a time, and it works.
I think no lightness is unfounded or senseless. So yes, Alicia was right. Lightness has to come from a deep place, and in my case it's the trauma of my bad bad past.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
I find you weird, you find me weird. As long as we get along fine, we're good. There's nothing wrong with a little weirdness. Mine is different from yours, and I would love to explore it.

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
Hey maybe some of my ideas aren't stupid!

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither! - Drew Barrymore
True, we don't ever look sex-starved! Maybe that's the reason why men initiate sex. We both want it, and somebody has to make the first move!

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. -Woody Allen
Exactly my sentiment. When someone asks me if i fear death, I say no. But I don't want to experience the pain of it. I don't want to see my family weeping over me while I turn into a corpse. I don' t want to see my blood and feel the throbbing pain of while slowly losing my memory of the human world. But I don't mind going away from the world, if only for the better life ahead of me.

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers. -Mary Richards
True. When I venture into a friendship or a romantic relationship, I do not realize how much I don't know about the other person until we stop bantering or merely conversing. That's the time we observe each other --- how we react to situations, how we feel about certain things, how we live life in general. That's why I love meeting strangers. Maybe subconsciously, I know that even my closest friends and my significant other are ultimately strangers to me and vice versa.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -Henry Youngman
Fun is the key word here. I do anything that makes me happy. And I avoid anything that leaves me distressed and worried.

THE OFFICE

whre i work......


......i can jump on the table and see a spectacular view out the window.


......i can visit other offices with my friends and take our pictures.


......i stay up late to finish something that my boss probably won't need the next day, but it's all good.

penny for my tots

this is tots. he's my boyfriend. he's very easy to talk to. we almost never argue, because whenever we sense that our insights will clash, we instinctively turn our conversation into a playful banter. so yeah, i can say that he's somewhat an escapist. makes our relationship fun. we laugh a lot and we try to talk to each other on the phone before going to sleep.

eventhough he lives outside Metro Manila, we don't have problems seeing each other. i think we're a great pair because we both like fun and spontaneity. we don't ever want to fight because we try to avoid drama --- i'm clueless when it comes to confrontations and he simply thinks relationship drama sucks. i don't know if that's a good thing or not. but i'm happy with the way things are and i hope he is.

sometimes i think that this relationship lacks depth. but are we really looking for that? my idea of a perfect relationship is three things: love, honesty and fun. plus two other things to back them up: time and effort. so far those elements are present in our relationship. oks na oks!

we're both having fun. for me, that's the whole point of entering a relationship. we don't have a lot in common but miraculously this thing that we have actually works. because we are able to make fun of our differences:
>he teases me about my makeup and i tease him about his being skinny.
>i go around the city riding buses and jeepneys; he gets really tired of life riding the MRT.
>his passion is cars and i know comedy like the back of my hand.
>he likes house music and frequents bars; i am the queen of videoke joints and i live for rock.

well, we a few things in common: we both smoke marlboro lights, we both love to make fun of people, and we live for nothing but fun.

cheers tots!

a refreshing night

A few weeks ago we had our SAMASKOM alumni acquaintance party, and it was my most fun night in months! I got to see my friends from college and it was very refreshing to chika, dance and laugh with them!

Jel and I had work that afternoon so we rushed home and prepared for the party, and when we got there we just had to gulp down our free beer and meet the other fabulous alumni!


me, nomer, yam, nesty and jel


me and miro. musical director ng maraaaaming live aids and vocalist of stonefree. rockstar shit!
ang istoryang dinebelop ng samaskom!
iba't iba ngunit iisa ang kwento.
buhay ang sa iyo magtuturo
matututo kang harapin ang tunay na mundo!


me and jel my lab. check out our latest eyebag collection!


jel, miro, gladys, marzi ko diona, me and leng!


me, nomer, gladys. nomer my agricultural hero gets sexual with gladys while i singit singit and ruin the momentum...


strike a pose! diona, maggie and me and nesty. uy si nesty nasa likod, paki aninag na lang.

i had a great evening! more SAMASKOM parties to come!

One-liners that say it all

The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein

i am not stupid but i definitely don't want to be a genius.

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-Billy Crystal

Yeah, we need a reason, but we'd really appreciate a nice venue.

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
-Richard Jeni

How many couples are really honest to each other? Really, how many want to hear that their partner didn't enjoy the sex tonight, or the valentine gift they received was disappointing? Sometimes a little white lie doesn't hurt. It even helps keep the romance alive.
But you know what? I wouldn't like that kind of relationship.
So yeah, I'm all for honesty. He he.

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
-Sharon Stone

Fair enough. Men say "I love you", women say "I love you too", and they start a relationship. Then men look forward to sex of course. They think everything's going to be perfect until the lovemaking stage. I love being a woman.

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."
-Groucho Marx

Sometimes it's easier for me to agree with difficult people than defend my beliefs. What I do, I bash them in my journal. What a sly way of making a point, and making fun of others.

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein

I don't mind waiting a lifetime for someone I really care about, whether we're jsut having coffee or having a smoke.
But I do mind waiting 10 minutes for a sucky colleague at work.

"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love ."
-Woody Allen

Amen.

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
-Oscar Wilde

I am cursed forever!

Leo in Love

Oh, love is real enough; you will find it someday, but it has one archenemy -- and that is life.
-Jean Anouilh Ardele

i am a big fan of love, whether it's artificial, superficial, or real mad passionate love. the problem is, i am also a big fan of life. a worry-free, hell-to-the-world, i-am-god life. why must love and life clash, when i've always believed that love is the very reason i am here in this world? i am inspired to wake up each morning and face what life serves me when i am in love, but the dynamics of life can leave me dumbfounded. just when love has adorned my life, fate selfishly takes it away from me.

In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-Elizabeth Ashley American Actress

i love playing the role of a woman in love. i am high, i am free, i am myself, only 100 times better. and if the one i love feels the same, then we can star in our own movie, one that never ends and has a thousand climaxes.

Love is a great beautifier.
-Louisa May Alcott 1832-1888, American Author

i am alive when i am in love. i fall, bleed, cry, but i stil end up beautiful. i guess it's not only the feeling that makes me fabulous, but the things i learn from feeling it. and i am willing to learn from the right person.

Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.
-Henri Frederic Amiel 1821-1881, Swiss Philosopher, Poet, Critic

i am done with pretending. to others i can be zeena, the bonehead, the comic relief, the escapist, the unfeeling shithead, the subordinate who bows down every time, or even the warrior princess. but to the one i love i am zeena, a girl who has so much love to give, no matter how weird i show it.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-Joan Crawford 1904-1977, American Actress

i am a leo. leo is a fire sign. fire is passion, bravely blazing across everyone's lives i touch. fire is warmth, something i can give to the one i love if given the opportunity.
but fire is also my downfall. i can burn someone if i give to much, and i can also get burned if i don't stop playing with fire.

SHREDS

SHREDS

you got away with what is yours
what's mine is still unknown
how can you not know
you cost me my patience

ive never seen your shadow
never walked through your door
ive never seen you happy or sad
i dont know what you have

but you tear me down to shreds
and i like it
confetti in your mind
that's what i am
ill shower with me
would that be all right?

i dont get tired of you
when youre not aware of me
youve caused too many daydreams
icant relate to life
ive never seen what is
beyond your eyes and hands
but i do knwo there is a way
so how long will i have to wait?

coz you tear me down to shreds
and i like it
confetti in your mind
thats what i am
ill shower you with me
would that be all right?

and if you let me in your dreams tonight
do i have the right to stay tonight?
and never wake you up
coz it feels so right

doesnt it feel all right?
i know it feels all right
feels all right
feels all right.....