When I first came here and tasted the impeccable balance of freedom and responsibility, I thought I made the right decision.
Away from everyone, I found it so convenient to move around a place where hardly anyone knew me. I could start anew and tell all my loved ones back home about the progress I was making.
It was so easy to send an email or phone someone and tell them about my achievements and desires and fears. It was so easy to feel vulnerable, because I showed my weakness to people I just met, people who didn't mind me feeling this way.
All of a sudden, in the latter part of this year, some events caused me to rethink my stay in Dubai. Don't get me wrong, Dubai has given so much, so much more than I expected. However I realized that it has also been taking from me.
Friendships have not been the same as before.
And I don't know how to make them work again.
SOme people can carry on without even thinking about friends. They just come and go and if they get lucky they bump into an old friend, and have a pint with them.
Well I want lasting friendships. I want my friends back.
Friends who listen to me and keep me and consider me family.
I guess I also fear change. Change in people that will make them feel differently towards me. And I deny that I have changed myself, but in doing so I did not only show how much I've changed but expressed a complete lie.
I have changed. It sucks, but I can't unchange and that sucks even more.