why am i not enjoying my cocktails?
why am i expecting a special guest who will never come?
why am i wishing i were in someone else's banquet?
why am i imposing a curfew on myself?
why am i not mingling with the other guests?
why am i losing my appetite?
why am i not dancing to the music?
why am i not having fun?
why am i crying when i'm not yet drunk?
why am i staining my little black dress?
why am i in the corner, fingering my food?
why am i not minding my purse?
why am i offering more than i can afford to feed my guests?
why am i not giving away souvenirs?
why am i not proposing a toast?
why am i feeling like a gate crasher?
why am i not invited to my own party?
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