not good? so what?

surprisingly, i am not yet tired of dubai.
the other night fifi and i explored al diyafah, the road near al satwa, where we live. we walked through a stretch of stores, supermarkets and internet shops, not minding the shawarma-filled aroma.
we bought milk for our australian housemate mike ( i think i drank some of his, sorry mike ), and two pints of ice cream that we finished in a night.
i had one cigarette and a great conversation with fifi, who was busy figuring out what her praline ice cream was made of.

yesterday ayadh picked us up and treated us to lunch at the InterContinental Hotel. a buffet that consisted of 4 different cuisines and a kingdom of desserts. wow.
then ayadh invited us (we invited ourselves, rather) to his flat, where we had a long and fun talk about the usual things --- life, love, relationships, the future. we talk about the same things, but i never cease to learn from him. he's a good man.

he said the best thing to go about it is to figure out what a man can give me, and what i want from him. if both do not match, then i have to get out of it, or else, in the end there is no one else to blame but myself.

what do i want? am i settling for what he can give me, or am i genuinely happy with this? if i spent time thinking about that, i would probably have to stop moving for days.

oh well. these are my life's hey days. i am allowed to make as many mistakes as i want and can. i know i cannot be good, or perfect, or the woman everyone thinks i am, but at least i am being myself.

cheers to deliberate mistakes and a hell-to-the-world future!