no no drama

4:09 am. just finished editing.
not a very hard job, but i can't possibly be confined inside an editing room for 6 straight hours.
i am waiting for fifi to finish with work. we'll have tea later and trade stories about our dates.
she looked so pretty tonight. hmmmm.
ok, something has been bothering me.

my great-grandmother died some days ago.
i will miss her, but one of the things i'd rather not do is mourn.
so now i am avoiding going to her wake and funeral.
i know my father will be furious if he finds out
that i would rather edit than see nanay.

part of my being an escapist.
just like i'm so eager to date after ending a bad relationship.
it's the same principle. i don't want to sulk.
and this attitude may not be healthy -- Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
says to grieve all i want before moving on --- but i'd rather skip the drama.

so i'd like to think that nanay is in heaven right now, smiling down at us
and thinking how funny her grandkids look when they're crying.

not me. i'm smiling back at her.