what's up with my attitude?

"When I do things without any explanation, but just with spontaneity…I can be sure that I am right."
– Federico Fellini

"We each need to let our intuition guide us, and then be willing to follow that guidance directly and fearlessly."
– Shakti Gawain

"It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich life."
– Katherine Butler Hathaway

"When you cannot make up your mind between two evenly balanced courses of action, choose the bolder."
– William Joseph Slim


I am finally making the biggest decision of my life.
Not everyone agreed with me.
I know, they care for me and want me to be safe.

I didn't just think to myself, "Fuck it, I'll pack my bags and leave tomorrow."
I thought it over. For a long time, without anyone influencing me.
Pros, cons, no pressure. Cigaretter after cigarette.
I silently fixed everything, to ensure my safety and a promising life in another country.
I invited my most special friends to go with me.
And I made sure that I will get the respect I deserve when I get there.
And when I was sure of what I was about to do, I told my loved ones and closest friends.
Picture perfect.

Still, some are worried for me, and I don't blame them.
I am taking a risk. And it's about time.

Some are excited for me, some wishing me well.
But there are a few who have gone out of their way to understand, defend and support me.
They are even willing to embark on the journey with me.
Mama, Fifi and Jel.

So now I am braver. I am not afraid that will disappoint them, because that is not an option.

I love you!