Today I interviewed the "winners" of Quit and Win.
It's an incentive-based program for those who would like to quit smoking.
It went on for a whole month.
Can you imagine not doing one of the things you love for 30 days?
I can never quit anything I love.
I interviewed a young man who joined the program but didn't succeed.
He's a lawyer who, whenever faced with anything as challenging as a TV interview, has to have his cigarette fix.
So after talking in front of the camera about how hard it was to quit smoking, we rushed to the basement to have a quick smoke.
He loves smoking. So do I.
And that is why we cannot quit it at this point.
We love it.
If you love something (or someone), it is impossible to turn away from it and say goodbye.
And if you do it, you will end up coming back to it quicker than when you first tried it out.
You will get addicted even more.
And you will appreciate every single puff.
And that is why I never joined the program in the first place.
I know that cigarettes are something I really enjoy and cannot live without, and I am going to be very very sad if I quit just now.

Some of the things we love are not necessarily good for us.
If I keep on smoking like this then God only knows what could happen.
Millions of people have died because they do did things that harmed their bodies.
In short, they died doing what they loved the most.
In a twisted world, that is awesome.
Would you die for something or someone you love?
That is a very difficult question, especially for me.
I love myself too much and I hate it when I love too much because my love for a particular thing or person is essentially competing with my love for none other than myself.
Ayos ba?

OLD OLD OLD OLD SCHOOL ... Happier days

Daniela, Tita Loloy, ME :), Carlo and Tita Monette patiently waiting for Tita Nenet to wake up.
Daniella, Shobe and ME :)
I was not a very good ballerina.



Me and Daniella. This was in my school.

Daniella, Carlo, Tita Monette and ME :)

I started growing my giant teeth at this age.

And check out the insect scanned with the pic.

Me Carlo and Ninish. Jesus Christ Superstar and Jumbo days.

Cousins ko! Laki laki na nila....

Thanks Daniella for the pictures... tell Mama to give you more and scan them...

did we take a pic of Carlo at Villa Virginia when he performed a miracle by the baby pool?

Tulad ng mga bituing
Nawawala ang ningning
Hindi ko makita
Ang gusto kong makita
Sa 'yong mga mata

Tulad ng dulot na perwisyo
Ng ugong ng eroplano
Nabibingi ako
Sa mga panloloko
Sa pabibo bibo

Pag natapos ang usapan
Simula na ng kasiyahan
Huwag ka nang magtanong
At di na rin kita pagdududahan

Pang ilang tagay na ba to?
Ika'y nakakahilo
Lungo na nga ako
Napapapikit na
Napapahikab na

Pang ilang kanta na ba to?
Gawa gawang lambing
Iisa lang ang tono mo
At di ko masabayan
Di ko masabayan

Pag sumikat na ang araw
At nasilaw ka sa akin
Kusa akong lalabas
Pinto mo'y ikandado
Para sigurado

It drags on... but the more important thing is that it drags on towards the right direction.
So it doesn't matter if it takes a day, a month or ten years, as long as it goes forward.
It's a healthy way of looking at anything.
For some people it's sheer optimism.
For others, delusion.
For me, it's the only choice.
It's like your favorite softdrink, or the place you always love to visit.
I feel gooooooood.

I always thought it would be funny to have another rectum attached on my forehead.
Messy, but funny.
Honestly, I need a good laugh.

Blame it on the weather.
40 degrees and rising.
It was around this time last year that I forgot to take my brain next door.
Thank God it was still on my bedside table when I came home.
It was also around this time in 2007 when I danced with a stranger in an 18th century costume.
I realized that the dentures were not really part of the whole ensemble.
Yuck.
It was also around this time in 2006 when I dreamed of taking a sip of that especially fermented drink. The thought of smelling vanilla in my drink hypnotized me.
But I snapped out of it. I always did.
But before I did, I had to endure looking at badly decorated walls, tasting cheap wine, and smelling sweaty armpits.
So this year it's different story.
It gets interesting. Not.
Really. It doesn't.

Ok a lot of things have changed since I left Manila.
Terri is getting married in December.
That is a milestone, because she is the first in our group to get hitched, and I can't wait to wear a nice dress and hug her on her wedding day.
Will the Gigs prepare a dance number, like what we did at Charm's 18th birthday party?
I remember wearing a Coca Cola shirt that I bought in Divisoria, plus a thick vest and a bonnet.
hahahaha. Yuck.
I am guessing that my friend Charm will be the next one to say "I do".
I'm happy to wear nice dresses and witness how true love is sealed and celebrated.
But I don't think I will get married soon.
I am happy to go through that "Always a bridesmaid" phase and drink lots of champagne.

Ok Terri getting married. What else?
Hmmm Wyson falling in love.
Why the hell not?
I think she is a great woman and the man she is in love with is nothing but lucky.
Wyson is beauty and brains and happiness personified.
I wonder what's been happening to her?
She used to make fun of me when we were in fourth grade.
All the way until we were in college.
I used to drool on her shoulder in the FX on the way to Cubao, and she used to poke my urinary gland with sharp pencil to see if I could stand "pee pressure" on Taft Avenue.

Ok Wyson getting married.
What else? Kath has a boyfriend!
Yay! I love Kath.
Hmmm I think Carlo is her perfect match.
They look good together and they always have lots of fun.
Plus they're both funny.
I would like to validate that statement in our blue book (Kath, insdie joke).
So does that mean that Kath will not say "Tado" ever again?
Or maybe she'll say it to Carlo when they have petty fights.
By all means.

I love change.
It's challenging.
Either you cope or you're out.
Or you stay at home and wish you'd die.
I love change.

So random.
Cheeseburger.
Margaritas.
Aegis songs.
Jumbo Hotdog.

It's like that one night with Ria on Jupiter Street.
Music 21 from 9 PM til 6 AM.
We had half a case of Red Horse.
And chugged down a bottle of Chocolait for breakfast.

Or like that nice evening on the beach.
Mindoro sling, pot.
High school kids.
Friendship bracelets.

Or like that eventful day in the heart of Manila.
Karting race.
Wake.
Eastwood dinner.

Random things are always fun.
But to end up being a random person in some random place is not.
I like things to start out randomly, as in that movie Serendipity.
But I would like to see things fall in place eventually.
That's what makes randomness amazing.
When the craziest circumstances lead you to something that will change your life.

So if something totally out of this world happens to you and it really hasn't made a difference...
It's just a badly written part in your autobigoraphy and you should just tear it out because it's irrelevant.

I called Mama Becky to say hello today.
She said she couldn't go out to pay her Globe bill because of the heavy rain.
Rain!
Now I feel like taking the first plane headed for Manila.
Suddenly random memories of my rainy days back home flashed before my eyes.
Kath and me, at Starbucks Katipunan, waiting for her ride. Hoto chocolate. Validating all her statements in the blue book (UP speak).
Muddy water chasing my feet on the pavement as jeepneys roared past me.
Arriving at work all wet and folding my dripping umbrella in the corner.
Hot chocolate. Chai tea latter. Cello's Donuts and Dips.
I remember having to walk from Miriam to my house in Project 4 because my school bus left me and I the jeepneys were being jerks.
Spending the day indoors and watching old movies. I remember watching Along Came Polly dozens of times while the raindrops angrily knocked on my windows, calling my attention.
And I remember realizing how much of a Polly I was.
I still am, perhaps.
Rain makes me happy.
Wet cement, wet grass, wet shoes.
LIVE AIDS rehearsals at Vinzons that finished at 11 PM.
Yosi yosi on the ground floor of the ELJ building, with call center posses puffing away like zombies.
Beer after work.
Gay bars.
Trapped in a gay bar on a rainy night!
That was fun.
Doobie doobie doo. For free.
Rainy days on the beach.
Ahhh. Fruit shakes and kebabs.
Eastwood. I have fun memories at Eastwood.
I'm not sure if Cable Car still exists but that's where Charm, Kath, Fifi and I went for some drinks all the way from Sacred Heart Subdivision.
Scared Heart. Do you have any idea how far that place is?
Two words: Tungko Jeepney.
Rain on Taft Avenue is also as interesting.
Taft, Espana, E.Rodriguez.
Strong winds, flood up to my waist, leptospirosis fears putting an end to my happy commute.
And don't even get me started about Aurora Boulevard.
La lang.