What is up with people who do NOT let me finish talking, only to either repeat what I was going to say, or make a really stupid point?
Along with deceiving a woman's heart, it should be illegal, Shakira.
I have developed this indispensable skill of standing straight and speaking without stuttering and looking down, and it is hard for me to maintain for years.
And it's hard for me to maintain that swag every time a douchelord interrupts me.
Good thing there is that breathe-and-count-to-ten technique, or prayers.

How incredible is life?
Seriously.
I have not had time to think about it lately, but when I do get a minute or two, like now, I make it a point to ponder events in my life lately, and it is simply awesome.
When a struggle ends, another starts.
And as we all know a struggle is not an end in itself.
Struggles make us stronger, wiser, happier in the long run.
But we can only take so much at once, and so we are given one at a time.
I am so happy that my mom is recovering fast and her doctor has reduced her meds.
It is truly good news for the whole family.
And right now we have something else - equally big and life-changing - to think about.
And it is a challenge I am willing to take on.
I am very excited because my family and I are working as a team again.
The fact that I am miles away is not even important.
We are so awesome.
I love it!

I am in love with Blaine even though he is gay.

Rebecca Gonzales Zalamea is my mother.

Call her Becky for short.

She had me when she was barely 18.

So she was this tiny 18-year-old mom in the early 80's.

After finishing college, she started to work.

Every day she would commute from Quezon City to Manila, where she worked as a designer.

Every day she would work hard and go home to greet me and prepare dinner.

She worked to buy my milk, clothes, pay our bills, send me to good schools, pay for my swimming and ballet and speech classes, pay for our weekend holidays with our aunts and cousins, and give me some money to buy food in the school cafeteria.

She taught me to pray and we walked to church together every Sunday.

She was not one to show weakness.

Rest and solitude were for losers.

She kept working even when she was pregnant with little Zoe.

She worked through the most turbulent times of her life, and worked her way up until she was not longer a mere employee but an indispensable figure in her firm.

She established her own line of clothing.

She put up her own business.

Everything we ate, used and enjoyed were from the fruits of her labor.

I always thought she worked really hard.

She would take a vacation once in a few years.

She loved the States and Hongkong.

Straight from the plane, she would make sure we were good girls, and go back to work.

I cried to her a lot of times and she didn't like it.

I didn't like it either.

I wanted to be strong for her and I wanted her to see that I took after her when it came to possessing strength and soldiering on in the face of adversity.

And then the daily grind stopped this year.

She took a minute to rest and catch her breath.

She is regaining her strength and can't wait to get back on track.

That's my Mama.

I've been witnessing her tireless and selfless efforts to keep our family intact for 28 years.

Many people tell me that they admire my mother's resilience, and that they wish they could be like her.

Well, it hasn't been easy to get to where she is.

It took a lot of twists and turns.

But at present, we have never been happier.

You are an amazing mother, Mama.

You deserve the world.

I love you.

This is the week of a LOT of Fs - fatigue, fun, friends, frivolous frolicking, fat figures, fading foundation, feces, favors, fixations, fiends and family.
And I cannot explain each one of em.

Housewarming Party Guest Wish List

ok i was so bored i played a game in my head.

what if my friends and i had lots of money but we could only use it to pay for good company?

and so my housewarming party guest wish list idea was born.

Zeena's Guests:

1. Zach Galifianakis. My favorite person at the moment. "If a foot could fart..."

2. Aziz Ansari. Tom Haverford is a close second, thanks to www.tomhaverfoods.com

3. Jim Balsillie. Please give me a new BlackBerry and a PlayBook. And I will rest my case.

Fifi's Guests:

1-5. The hosts of TV5's Juicy. They MUST sing the Blind Items jingle because it tickles Fifi.

Momzi's Guests:

1. A lover. Nuff said.

2. A new boss. Word.

3. Our trusted dermatologist. Good luck getting out of the party place alive.

I know I tend to overuse the word "literally", but right now, I'm not kidding, there are literally hundreds of things happening at the moment - in me, around me, concerning me, concerning the people around me, and they can all be too much to handle. I am only one tiny brown girl. And while not entirely empty, my brain cannot cope with things that all need to be thought through and decided upon at once.

A lot of people around me seem to think they know better.

I don't, but neither do they.

It is just sad when they are arrogant, negative and inconsiderate.

But in the spirit of Easter, may they finally obtain the knowledge they thought they had.

Google Me

I just discovered that if you googled me, all my Tweets, blog posts, stand up comedy videos, idly written comments on various websites and profile on all networking sites turn up - all in between my online resume, work videos and sites that mention my work.

I am very careful when writing something which is not work-related online, but my opinions and story-telling are too much information for potential employers.

And I have not idea how to clean up my act on the world wide web. Apparently typing and clicking are not the only skills one has to have in order to use the web properly.

Sorry Mike Sorrentino, but this is The Situation.

I realized that since finding this out, I've become more cautious when expressing my thoughts and insights on any website, even this precious blog of mine. If I eventually learned to edit my Google results, I would be faced with a dilemma: do I really want to hide my blog from people? Nobody reads it at the moment but that is not the point. Do I want my Tweets to be read only by my followers? Most of them are US-based companies selling random stuff, but again that is not the point.

It would be horrible to worry about it all night. Well I don't have to, thanks to Sleep N Restore. Melatonin and Valerian will help me sleep like a baby in 5, 4, 3...

I am not a loser, but this morning I went online to look for inspirational quotes that would inspire me to go to work today.
A short backgrounder: I have been restless since I landed in Dubai last week, and started trying a bunch of home remedies and herbal pills to keep my stress levels down and help me go to sleep.
My efforts are not entirely futile, but I seem to be tiring myself more looking for more remedies to feel better and better.
It was becoming a pointless snowball of temporary cures to a messy mind.
So I tried another method.
Let's have a go at this Zen thing.
So I start by going online (dur... how do we always start something?) and these words made a HUGE difference to my day.
If they make you feel a little better, good.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
Henry David Thoreau

The only journey is the journey within.
Rainer Maria Rilke

We are either progressing or retrograding all the while; there is no such thing as remaining stationary in this life.
James Freeman Clarke

Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and good things will be yours.
Swedish Proverb

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one's horse when he is leaping.
Thomas Hood

Quarter life crisis visited me late.

Too late, in fact.

I am 28. I have no business worrying about what to do with my life.

I should have had that cheap insane moment ten years ago.

But there was no way I could slam the door in its face.

It came uninvited, and if I didn't deal with it, it was going to sleep over.

Jerk.

So I pondered.

Tried to think like a poet/the Dalai Lama/Maya Angelou and struggled to find words to console myself.

Needless to say, QLC left a gaping hole in my brain and I could not think of anything good to tell myself.

What a bummer.

Not even little miss perfect Kim Kardashian inspired me.

Tried to smile but ended up smirking at the thought of smiling.

What was there to smile about?

I was a big lump of mess.

Until Cookie went online.

She saved me.

We talked, talked some more, and laughed.

I feel so much better knowing that on the other side of the world a friend understands exactly what I am going through.

And helps me cope too.

And encourages me to be positive, productive, grateful and resilient.

Now all I need is a warm bath, two sleeping pills and I am all set to bury this episode six feet underground.

If I wake up and it's still there, God will find a way to save me again.

I'm glad He sent Cookie tonight.

Amen.

"The Daily Stat: Mobile-Phone Purchases Reduce Tobacco Use in Philippines"

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2058946_2059124_2059119,00.html #ixzz1IurYdM3M

- a Tweet by Harvard Business Review

Okay, this makes Lucio Tan poorer and MVP richer.
But this also means that more people may get cancer from mobile phone radiation than from tobacco.
But if I had to choose, I would go for the phones.
At least they don't smell and they are actually a tool for dating, not a turn off.
I am one to talk.

Family first

I have spent a week and a half in Manila and I feel nothing but gratitude and happiness.

I am so glad to be able to witness my sister's graduation ceremonies and walk by her side as she ends a chapter in her life and begins a new one.

By doing this I've made two very important points that I hope she will never forget - I love her very much, and obtaining top notch education will take her places.

The day of my sister's graduation was also my mother's birthday.

On her special day and during my entire stay I made sure that I was able to serve her and show her how much I love her.

I cooked, shopped for clothes and waited on her.

I bought her favorite food and accompanied her to the hospital.

These are very small gestures, but these are the things I am capable of doing to make her happy.

My heart is filled with nothing but happiness and love, two things even the meanest, tallest, funkiest pair of shoes cannot replace.

Amen.

Interesting Dinner Date Rule - Very Helpful

5. If you have to use the powder room, just say, "Excuse me please." Or "Will you excuse me for just a moment?" Your date doesn’t need to be told that you’re off to evacuate your bowels.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/rules-for-a-dinner-date-2464185/

There's a lot to learn on the world wide web! Sigh. Thanks Internet!

This little girl from Winnipeg took YouTube by storm and actually got to sing with Lady Gaga on stage. She's Filipino by blood, and I associate myself with her because. Like millions of others back home do.

Crying in my head to Stevie Wonder songs.
Yes it's one of those crazy days.
I made a mistake of finishing all my self-imposed tasks at 4 PM.
Now it's Thursday, and with one foot out the door, I've had to improvise with some - or any - form of entertainment to keep me awake.

The painkillers are (pun intended) big downers and I am scared to close my eyes.
I've reapplied lipstick for the nth time today, so don't suggest that.
I also did some research, stretching and a lot of thinking about what to do with my appearance.
Sometimes I think I look like a monkey.
But just on really really bad days.

this is what i ought to do. now.

Second day staying at home with a lopsided face.

My lumpy cheek is so annoying.

I sometimes think I'm chewing, and then I realize it's only mouth ulcer.

What a gross thing to have, especially on days when I'm all fired up to work.

I am restless but doc won't allow me to go out.

A 90-minute yoga class won't harm me.

It's a detox thing, so why would it.

Unless some old guy farts in my face again.

If my mouth ulcer was flammable that would be the end of the only bikram yoga studio in Dubai.

my wisdom tooth is getting in the way of work.

i woke up yesterday morning and suddenly there was an extra gum flap forming around it.

my dentist calls it pericoronitis.

i call it the nemesis of botox.

it completely dragged my left cheek down.

and inflamed it - hopefully not beyond repair.

today was tiring: i had to pretend i was chewing all the time.

antibiotics, painkillers, topical shiznit, here we go again.