flowers for zoe

my sister Zoe.
love her to death.
we have a thirteen-year gap that seems nonexistent
due to her wittiness and maturity that can match and
definitely surpass mine.
she's everything to my mother and me.
she's an angel, a menace, a clown,
a little girl, a foul-mouthed grown up,
an irrelevant person who, by just stating the obvious
in her own amusing way, wins the laughter of many people.
before she wanted to be an SM saleslady.
then she wanted to be a seamstress.
now...she doesn't care about being somebody when she grows up.
she just listens to her favorite CD's: compilations of
the very best and very jologs OPM.
i wake up and see her pad papers all over MY bedside table,
on which lyrics of her favorite songs were written in red ink.
I wake up and see her bobbing her head while enjoying my iPod.
i wake up to find her in my face, commenting on how bad my breath is in the morning.
she banters with my friends.
she knows how to retaliate verbally.



i like the way she became now that she's 10 years old.
unconventional kid with jologsness.
but i miss her when she was still a baby,
reeking of sour milk and vomit.
when she would cry and i would change her nappies.
when i could still carry her, when she was having a hard time saying my name.
when i could put lotsa hair accessories in her hair and she wouldn't
say it's tacky and punch me in the face for looking hideous.

anyway i think i'll be loving her until the day i die,
regardless of what she will become.
probably a rockstar?
a TV star?
a newscaster?
a sports celebrity?
a business tycoon?
a sexy star?
a model?
a comedienne?
a lawyer?
a doctor?
a struggling artist?
a big fat momma? hope not!



FLOWERS FOR ZOE by Lenny Kravitz

Flowers for Zoe
Love for Zoe
Angels and rainbows
All kinds of things you can call your own
Garden for Zoe
And oceans for Zoe
Jungle gym playgrounds
All kinds of things for you to explore
Flowers for Zoe
Love for Zoe
Angels and rainbows
All kinds of things you can call your own
Yeah yeah yeah
God is for Zoe
And heaven's for Zoe
Oh can you believe
That everything is waiting to unfold ?
You can call your own
You can call your own
You can call your own

this is my cdg family

(caricatures courtesy of jel)

eto ang ilan lang sa mga magigiting na miyembro ng creative development group....


at iisa-isahin ko silang lahat! bwahahahaha!

ito si ferry. table at pc niya ang ginagamit ko ngayon.


ito si x, ang head ng cdg. jowa niya si rhoda, senior brainstormer. oks na oks sila. may bago silang diet ngayon. walang kakain, period.


ito si sunny. siya ang nagpapasweldo sa amin. lab ko nga to dahil dun eh. dun lang. haha.


ito si jel, ang gumawa ng mga caricatures na ito, ang head ko, at ang matalik kong kaibigang maaasahan. eto nga knock out si ferry eh. pero nakangiti pa rin. kamusta yun?


ito naman ang napanaginipan niya kagabi.


ito naman si mother lye, isa pang unit head at nanay ng pink putaheras. grabe siya noh? birthday niya kasi to eh.


ito naman yung malaki niyang pagpapanggap na straight siya.


ito naman si nix, isa pa naming head. isang araw, susunugin ko ang cabinet niya para mawala na lang ang mga fabulous finds niya sa ukay. abangan! panuorin niyo rin ang panday. siya yung taong bayan 1. hahaha!


ito naman si lenni. marami ang marami sa kanya. marami siyang chocolates, marami siyang resibo, marami rin siyang votes sa mga favorite conestants niya sa SIAM.


ito si dianne. ang funky but hopeless romantic and extremely religious officemate namin. siya ang girlfriend ni vino, ang dashing debonnaire sa SIAM. o di ba!


ito si maemae. dati siyang cdg pero madalas pa rin siyang dumalaw sa office and war room. lagi siyang hyper and super fun niya kakwentuhan tungkol sa dates. haha! ang tawagan namin, bheng at dhan. dahil kami ang kikay masin!


and me? well, when i'm not sitting pretty, i do yoga!




bow!

doncha?

doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
ito yung kanta ng pussycat dolls.
sila yan, yung nasa taas nito.
very pop ng song, very bad ng dolls, nakaka LSS tuloy.
eto yung kumakanta talaga sa kanila.
ang hot nga niya.

I LOVE ZEENA!

i will think of nothing but myself this weekend.
yup, i will be an unfeeling hedonist frolicking around the city.
i started by splurging on clothes this morning with my good friend fifi.
then i had a pedicure and a manicure while napping before going to work.
then i had my brows and upper lip threaded this evening.
tomorrow i will undergo plastic surgery!
of course i'm kidding.
i want to do something really peaceful and purely selfish, like read a book
in a coffee shop, write in my journal, or get a massage.
nothing too meaningful.
what's meaningful? time for myself. i miss myself.
i spend most of my life trying to please other people,
doing what they want, giving them what they need and
saying what they want to hear.
and i bet it won't be hard to do those things for myself.
all together now! .... I LOVE YOU ZEENA...I LOVE YOU ZEENA....

zero energy

today i feel like i will collapse anytime.
is it possible to feel very very tired without doing much?
i'm probably burning out.
from what?!
maybe i should be doing something else.
but what?
i wrote a song a week ago to describe my emotions these past few weeks.
but i don't know if the words in my song captured my exact emotions.
oh well. writing a song is always relaxing.

UNDER THE COVERS

busy days
no wants to have coffee
no one cares if your heart's broken
everyone is running around

not today
i'm going to ignore the noise
and listen to good music
remind myself to quit daydreaming and

from under the covers
i'll get up and dress up
i'll go out there to win the fight
call up my lover
and then i'll discover
won't let the world eat me alive

wednesdays
midweek boredom
fun is gone
it said goodbye yesterday
and i am left with the sound
of my footsteps

i want to play
kick up my heels and laugh
and say hello to everyone
so tomorrow morning waking up is easy

from under the covers
i'll get up and dress up
i'll go out there to win the fight
call up my lover
and then i'll discover
won't let the world eat me alive

YOU LOOK SO FINE by Garbage

You look so fine

I want to break your heart
And give you mine
You're taking me over

It's so insane
You've got me tethered and chained
I hear your name
And I'm falling over

I'm not like all the other girls
I can't take it like the other girls
I won't share it like the other girls
That you used to know

You look so fine
Knocked down
Cried out
Been down just to find out
I'm through
Bleeding for you

I'm open wide
I want to take you home
We'll waste some time
You're the only one for me

You look so fine
I'm like the desert tonight
Leave her behind
If you want to show me

I'm not like all the other girls
I won't take it like the other girls
I won't fake it like the other girls
That you used to know

You're taking me over
Over and over
I'm falling over
Over and over
You're taking me over

Drown in me one more time
Hide inside me tonight
Do what you want to do
Just pretend happy end
Let me know let it show
Ending with letting go
Let's pretend, happy end

sunday morning call by oasis

Here's another sunday morning call
Yer hear yer head-a-banging on the door
Slip your shoes on and then out you crawl
Into a day that couldn't give you more
But what for?
And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
You take what you want
But you won't get it for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more
But i'm not sure if it ever works out right
But it's ok.
It's alright
When yer lonely and you want to hear
The little voices in your head at night
You will only sniff away the tears
So you can dance until the morning light
At what price
And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
You take what you want
But you won't get it for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more
But i'm not sure if it ever works out right
But it's ok.
It's alright
And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
You take what you want
But you won't get it for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more
And i'm not sure if it'll ever, ever, ever work out right
Will it ever, ever, ever work out right?
Cos it never, never, never works out right

breast wishes

i am a big fan of boobs. actually an aspirant.
i don't really want gigunda parachutes hanging down my chest.
i just want bigger breasts so i can look good in clothes that show off my cleavage, which i'm still trying to look for right now .
i don't want silicone implants.
i dont want socks or monay.

i want my breasts to grow until they're a decent 34 B.

because my hips are so loving the attention.

how do i do that?

i must, i must.....

see you around

a song for lye, jel, elaine, bridge, dodi, ces, dan, bheng, inggo, cookie, lenni, melo....

afternoons
dirty coffee mugs
cigarette break small talks
anything to keep my mind off

loneliness
it's eating me alive
this isn't what i want
i'm sure there's something else

coz i am tired
of making up excuses
for all my fears and worries
i'm sure you know what i mean

so run into me down the hall
stop and ask me how i've been
light my smoke and tell me
you'll see me around

rain rain
make it go away
to come again another day
together with the fun

coz i am tired
of making up excuses
for all my fears and worries
i'm sure you know what i mean

so run into me down the hall
stop and ask me how i've been
light my smoke and tell me
you'll see me around

so when they look for me
i'm nowhere to be found
and when you come for me
i'll stop running around

let's have a beer on the 13th floor
joke about this dead end boredom
hum a few familiar songs
and it's all right

i can sleep sound tonight

no worries

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
--Oscar Wilde

The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses in your cheeks and in your soul. --Linda Knight

Laughter is an instant vacation. --Milton Berle

best weekend in months

cavite.
cookie's house.
judge icasiano.
tons of food.
ukay.
coffee (and the brand new coffee maker).
chika fatale.
pinoy big bridget.
rain.
road trip.
laugh trip.
vic sotto and ruby rodriguez.
joed's mega disco.
zeena.
lye.
jel.
elaine.
bridge.
cookie.
nix.
lenni.
again on october 12.
abangan!

23 ways to live life at 23 (in no particular order)

1. lose the fats
2. give a damn. already!
3. map out long-term career plans
4. start saving for the future
5. fight aging
6. pay at least one bill
7. be in a serious relationship
8. read good books
9. listen to good music
10. write good songs
11. journal entry about self-assessment
12. be completely financially independent
13. have a fitness routine
14. be spiritual
15. establish connections
16. appear on TV
17. travel
18. learn to say "no"
19. say yes when i need to
20. get acquainted with the notion of responsibility
21. unconditional self-love
22. strive to be and look fabulous
23. show some attitude

my kind of women

i've always loved music.
i admire women who make music and are not afraid to express their happiness, sadness, vulnerability, angst and concern through meaningful lyrics and enchanting melodies.
and so i have created a posse, through which every member's principles and tunes i live by.


here's to the girl who has always been beautiful. period. whether donned in a dress or a shabby ensemble, she just radiates this timeless beauty that captivates me.
you picked me like a cherry
and i don't understand
and it killed me with a craving
and i don't understand


where can you find a girl as cool her. she sings about failure in love and life--- how she always ends up getting hurt and getting shortchanged in relationships. she belts out her emotions for everyone to hear, and still she is the desire of every man, even commitment-phobics.
don't let it go away
this feeling has got to stay
don't let it go away
this feeling has got to stay
and i can't believe i've had this chance now
don't let it go away


i've always wanted to be like her. she yodels, and everyone listens. her powerful voice gets her emotions across. and i am one of those who are still being touched by her old records. there is no one like her in this world.
can't you see me? can't you hear me? can't you see me standing there?
my identity. has it been taken? is my heart breaking?
all my plans, fell through my hands
all dreams suddenly seem empty.........


she made me see being misunderstood as a way of life. sometimes i wish i could be as twisted and famous as her so i can get away with anything. never have i witnessed angst and troubledness transform into good music.
i feel the horses
coming galloping
i will never grow old i'll go to heaven tonight


her face is angelic, her tunes are groovy, and her lyrics are frank. all the absurdities of life captured in one favorite song of mine.
the night is on edge now hanging low against the tide
the world is at its best now when the loveless ones collide
it's a long night, a beautiful night
we were the first leftovers of the night


the most successful leo, as far as i'm concerned. the chameleon, the goddess. she has changed her look and lifestyle a million times, which i plan to do when i finally believe in myself. and that's what she's here for: to inspire me to do that!
the face of you
my subsitute for love
my substitute for love
should i wait for you?
my substitute for love
my subsitute for love

every night i listen to their music.
i thought that it was my way to escaping myself.
but i realized that it was really the key to knowing myself better.
and waiting for the these women in me to come out.

tribal tots

tribal tots

zeena's days out

I love easy days. Coffee, cigarettes and a good time. Sometimes I forget that life's cheap thrills are the key to productivity at work. When I am energized and I have dusted off all the tension and stress with a pedicure and a good laugh, I am once again ready to jump into the arena where I can be eaten alive a.ka. office.


BEAUTY DAY OUT WITH FIFI!!!






I WAS SUNNY'S PERSONAL ASSISTANT WHEN SHE AUDITIONED FOR WAZZUP WAZZUP AS A TADJOCK!


TOTS AND ME A FEW HOURS BEFORE OUR MONTHSARY




BRIDGE AND ME CHATTING THE AFTERNOON AWAY WHILE DISCUSSING OUR CAREER OPTIONS...

clueless and happy

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress
I live my life as lightly as possible. Why? I come from an emotionally turbulent past, a decade ago caused by family problems, and recently, a relationship that left me disillusioned. So now that things are falling into place and I don't know what will happen next, I try to take life one day at a time, and it works.
I think no lightness is unfounded or senseless. So yes, Alicia was right. Lightness has to come from a deep place, and in my case it's the trauma of my bad bad past.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
I find you weird, you find me weird. As long as we get along fine, we're good. There's nothing wrong with a little weirdness. Mine is different from yours, and I would love to explore it.

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
Hey maybe some of my ideas aren't stupid!

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither! - Drew Barrymore
True, we don't ever look sex-starved! Maybe that's the reason why men initiate sex. We both want it, and somebody has to make the first move!

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. -Woody Allen
Exactly my sentiment. When someone asks me if i fear death, I say no. But I don't want to experience the pain of it. I don't want to see my family weeping over me while I turn into a corpse. I don' t want to see my blood and feel the throbbing pain of while slowly losing my memory of the human world. But I don't mind going away from the world, if only for the better life ahead of me.

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers. -Mary Richards
True. When I venture into a friendship or a romantic relationship, I do not realize how much I don't know about the other person until we stop bantering or merely conversing. That's the time we observe each other --- how we react to situations, how we feel about certain things, how we live life in general. That's why I love meeting strangers. Maybe subconsciously, I know that even my closest friends and my significant other are ultimately strangers to me and vice versa.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -Henry Youngman
Fun is the key word here. I do anything that makes me happy. And I avoid anything that leaves me distressed and worried.