The Benefits of Being an OFW

One thing I realized about being an overseas Filipino worker is that I now have involvement in my family’s finances. I don’t meddle with how my mother spends her own money; after all, it is her own, and she has worked hard for it, spending time at work and on her business to make sure that she and my sister can live a comfortable life. However, I have committed to paying for my sister’s annual tuition, and that gives me a little more say in the family in terms of income. I now have a voice when it comes to discussing a big purchase or contemplating an investment. I can tell my mother what I think, but she still has the last say and she will do what she thinks is best, but at least she now listens to me. That’s a far cry from absolutely zero involvement.

My involvement in financial matters allows me to permeate deeper into my mother’s thoughts. I can ask about things that may not be money-related, but are on the same level of importance as our family income. Take her health. If I could ask about how much she spent on something, why on earth can I not ask her about what the doctor said during her check up? Or I could start by asking how much she has been spending on her meds, and then we can have a proper conversation about so many other things.

I think one reason she is comfortable sharing her thoughts with me is --- aside from the fact that I actually have a serious job as opposed to my hazy days in Manila when I spent most of my time smoking like a chimney and frequenting karaoke bars --- I am far away, too far that I can only listen and empathize with her without having to look at the sorry expression on my face. The last thing she wants from me and her loved ones is pity. She’s also been a fighter, a person who has always decided for herself and influenced me and my sister to do the same.

I also find that with all the talks we have all throughout the year will make me feel so much more comfortable when I finally see her. Now I know her better. I know what ticks her and what impresses her. And so days out with her and my sister are much more pleasant, and conversations have more meaning and depth. And I don’t think I could have strengthened our relationship had I not flown to another part of the world. That’s just how I see it.

I’m looking forward to December, because when I see her I’m sure we’ll have a better rapport and a fabulous Christmas. No, we can’t share a joint, but at least we can talk about money now.