i'm always on the go and do not have time to ponder things.
i rush past my own thoughts because i always have work or something fun to do.
but when i'm alone and don't have anything to do, the things that matter to me most visit my mind, and i get so overwhelmed that i think that i can't take it. i can't feel that deeply anymore.
earlier this week my mother and i had a short talk about work. she looked so tired and she said she wanted a vacation but she couldn't get that anytime soon. i just said that i'd be here if she wanted to vent out. that was the best i could do.
and i felt so bad afterwards. i wanted to give her the time she needed to rest and the energy she needed to face another long day at work, but i couldn't.
that's the worst feeling in the world, wanting to do something for someone you love, but you do not have the means to do it. you're helpless.
and i that day i felt for mother so much that i literally felt paralyzed. i couldn't move a muscle be cause if i did i might break down and lose it completely.
i'm not used to feeling that way anymore. i easily brush things aside if i don't want to think about them. but this one is about my mother, and there's no way i can deny my concern for her.
yun lang naman.
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