Thursday, May 31, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Louis Theroux
I have watched a couple of Louis Theroux's Weird Weekend episodes and I must say he could even beat Ali G or Stewie Griffin in being my most favorite YouTube stuff.
I've see the Neo Nazi episode, and now I'm watching the Thai Brides episode.
Try searching it on YouTube.
I've see the Neo Nazi episode, and now I'm watching the Thai Brides episode.
Try searching it on YouTube.
the future
I am not at all afraid of the future. If anything I think the future is afraid of me, because I am not doing anything about it.
OK I’ve made a few contributions to my family, and I’ve invested money to acquire new skills and feel a little better about my appearance, and I’ve also done some of the things I promised myself I’d do, but in a lot of ways, going home every day from work leaves me unfulfilled, to the point that I cannot sleep at night without thinking of ways to improve my life.
Every day, God gives me reasons to smile, like a chat with Kat or Cookie or Terri, or a nice email from my Pinks, or a call from Mama and Zoe, or some funny shit on www.youtube.com, a fun night as Ria's tagalong to some events in town (hopefully with good food and free stuff), a quiet dinner with Colin (when he is home) while he tries to figure out the TV, or a spontaneous night out wit Sherry, Jen and the gang. But I have rarely made myself happy, as in me alone, by myself. It’s one thing to look retarded window shopping alone in the mall, and it’s another thing to take drastic measures to change my life. How the hell do I make it better?
I frequently check www.ivillage.com, www.oprah.com, and even shamefully tried to look up Dr. Phil on the internet, and in fairness to these sites, their contents made sense, and I feel so confident and motivated the first five minutes after reading them, but then I look around me and feel like slapping myself. It’s just not that easy to walk down an aisle when people are not looking at you, when they haven’t decided that you deserve a red carpet. In short, when they do not recognize you and your capabilities.
But then again, it’s probably not an aisle I have to walk on. A long aisle ends in a wall, a cold wall, and you have nowhere to go but inside a big room full of people, and it ends there. I probably need to climb a mountain. I start at the foot, climb up, climb up, run out of breath and get bruised and cut and sweat profusely and get dehydrated. And I need to make sure that I reach the top of the mountain, because otherwise the climb would be completely useless. I can’t wait to be up there. There are no walls, just freedom, just fresh air, no one to approve or disapprove of me, nothing to worry about. Just everything I am not right now, and I can’t wait to be up there. I can’t wait to be up there.
So yeah I want to be happy and I am ready to climb that mountain, if someone can just tell me where it is.
OK I’ve made a few contributions to my family, and I’ve invested money to acquire new skills and feel a little better about my appearance, and I’ve also done some of the things I promised myself I’d do, but in a lot of ways, going home every day from work leaves me unfulfilled, to the point that I cannot sleep at night without thinking of ways to improve my life.
Every day, God gives me reasons to smile, like a chat with Kat or Cookie or Terri, or a nice email from my Pinks, or a call from Mama and Zoe, or some funny shit on www.youtube.com, a fun night as Ria's tagalong to some events in town (hopefully with good food and free stuff), a quiet dinner with Colin (when he is home) while he tries to figure out the TV, or a spontaneous night out wit Sherry, Jen and the gang. But I have rarely made myself happy, as in me alone, by myself. It’s one thing to look retarded window shopping alone in the mall, and it’s another thing to take drastic measures to change my life. How the hell do I make it better?
I frequently check www.ivillage.com, www.oprah.com, and even shamefully tried to look up Dr. Phil on the internet, and in fairness to these sites, their contents made sense, and I feel so confident and motivated the first five minutes after reading them, but then I look around me and feel like slapping myself. It’s just not that easy to walk down an aisle when people are not looking at you, when they haven’t decided that you deserve a red carpet. In short, when they do not recognize you and your capabilities.
But then again, it’s probably not an aisle I have to walk on. A long aisle ends in a wall, a cold wall, and you have nowhere to go but inside a big room full of people, and it ends there. I probably need to climb a mountain. I start at the foot, climb up, climb up, run out of breath and get bruised and cut and sweat profusely and get dehydrated. And I need to make sure that I reach the top of the mountain, because otherwise the climb would be completely useless. I can’t wait to be up there. There are no walls, just freedom, just fresh air, no one to approve or disapprove of me, nothing to worry about. Just everything I am not right now, and I can’t wait to be up there. I can’t wait to be up there.
So yeah I want to be happy and I am ready to climb that mountain, if someone can just tell me where it is.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Family Guy
I remember the times we played I've Never... the Pinks and the rest of the CDG... those were such fun times. Miss them to death!
Friday, May 18, 2007
My Gigs In Tagaytay
Cookie's rest house in Tagaytay.
Jagermeister.
Jokes.
Karaoke.
Jacuzzi.
And I wasn't there :(
But these pictures are hilarious!
(Sorry it's a private joke.)
Thanks guys!
Jagermeister.
Jokes.
Karaoke.
Jacuzzi.
And I wasn't there :(
But these pictures are hilarious!
(Sorry it's a private joke.)
Thanks guys!
10 Things
I should never ever do again on a Thursday night:
1. Go to a karaoke without enthusiasm. I sang off key, yodeled foolishly and shamed everyone around me, and I didn't even enjoy my drink.
2. Go to a Filipino bar at 1 AM. At this time there are no seats available already, a real hassle when you've got varicose veins (like me).
3. Bring more money than I need. Because I will live like a pauper for the next two weeks after spending everything in one night.
4. Go out, when all I really want to do is rest.
5. Wear a hideous outfit. Because after a week of hard work, I deserve to wear something really fabulous. I have no idea why I wore that shit of a top last night.
6. Drink rubbish until I get a little tipsy, tipsy enough to dance with a stranger with a bad stubble.
7. Go home late from work when it's not necessary. I ended up going out at 11 PM already, and when all the bars close at 3 AM we all tend to force ourselves to have fun already, without the slow laid-back warm-up drinking... so we don't waste time.
8. Wear eyeliner. I looked dirty last night and I hated my face.
9. Separate from friends. Go with the majority. It COULD be lonely going to a karaoke bar alone, like what I did last week, while everyone was at a different place dancing the night away.
10. Hope I'll see someone I miss! That pretty much messes up the start of a great weekend.
1. Go to a karaoke without enthusiasm. I sang off key, yodeled foolishly and shamed everyone around me, and I didn't even enjoy my drink.
2. Go to a Filipino bar at 1 AM. At this time there are no seats available already, a real hassle when you've got varicose veins (like me).
3. Bring more money than I need. Because I will live like a pauper for the next two weeks after spending everything in one night.
4. Go out, when all I really want to do is rest.
5. Wear a hideous outfit. Because after a week of hard work, I deserve to wear something really fabulous. I have no idea why I wore that shit of a top last night.
6. Drink rubbish until I get a little tipsy, tipsy enough to dance with a stranger with a bad stubble.
7. Go home late from work when it's not necessary. I ended up going out at 11 PM already, and when all the bars close at 3 AM we all tend to force ourselves to have fun already, without the slow laid-back warm-up drinking... so we don't waste time.
8. Wear eyeliner. I looked dirty last night and I hated my face.
9. Separate from friends. Go with the majority. It COULD be lonely going to a karaoke bar alone, like what I did last week, while everyone was at a different place dancing the night away.
10. Hope I'll see someone I miss! That pretty much messes up the start of a great weekend.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
mean
I feel so fat and I’m taking out my anger on everyone and I know it’s not nice and I know it’s mean of me and I know my actions will have repercussions in the future and I’m sure everyone knows that I’m not usually like this and I don’t intend to be a little devil but I just can’t help being a bitch. I personally don’t like bitches and all my life I’ve been trying to be nice to everyone but sometimes the bitch in me escapes and does bloody horrible things and at that point I can’t help it anymore. I am upset, I feel fat, I feel lonely and alone and unfortunate and I want something exciting in my life and I’m upset that it hasn’t come yet.
There.
There.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
pests
Last weekend was different.
Not in a good way, but at least it was different.
I grossed myself out last weekend, thank God I survived it.
Thursday night was supposed to be Xernes’ night and he wanted to go to Jules. We compromised and agreed to go straight to Hibiki (karaoke – what else?) for the rest of the evening. But it was so fun at Jules that Xernes wouldn’t leave, and even if Sherry and the gang were coming to Jules from the Boyz2Men concert, I decided to leave. I went straight to Hibiki like a drunken divorced man not wasting any second to sing his heart out again with his equally pathetic buddies. In a matter of minutes I was with a few of the regulars, singing Olivia Newton-John like it could make me happier than dancing to fun showband music at Jules, where the gay vocalist sang Sex Bomb in nothing but a sarong and an undershirt on. Oh, and combat boots.
I spent my Friday finishing an article for an event I covered. The event was fun, but I wasn’t, so I had a hard time writing about it. I spent the day in the mall, in a coffee shop, and it took me five hours to write a simple show review. Jen and Arvin came and Eve followed and Xernes came and we all headed to Chikka Grill. I was very sleepy and a little depressed but went anyway.
Why was I depressed? Maybe because nothing new was happening to me, to my life, to my appearance, and I felt like an old hag. After an afternoon of serious pest control and attempted carpentry (our cabinet door fell off), I dashed out the door. Coffee bean, Chikka Grill.
Saturday was not as depressing, but I wasn’t exactly a happy bunny. I spent the day with people who never fail to tear me apart and make me feel like trash. They can’t help it, because I can’t help it. I can’t say no and that’s always been my problem. I can’t say no because very few people want to be with me, and saying no to any one of them would mean missing out on something, like basic human interaction, or a date of some sort. I went straight to the mall to have coffee and go shopping with Sherry, and we talked about the cause of my depression and she told me to just stop moving and focus. I think I should, but stopping would mean facing the music, and I am not sure if I’m ready for that.
Aside from my depression, another thing I’m worried about is bed bugs. Or are they dust mites? All I know is that they have somehow reached me and decided never to part from me. They’re annoying, they’re gross and they’re ugly and they make me feel like trash, like the two human pests I know. But these human pests are even harder to get rid of because I’d rather be them than be alone.
Not in a good way, but at least it was different.
I grossed myself out last weekend, thank God I survived it.
Thursday night was supposed to be Xernes’ night and he wanted to go to Jules. We compromised and agreed to go straight to Hibiki (karaoke – what else?) for the rest of the evening. But it was so fun at Jules that Xernes wouldn’t leave, and even if Sherry and the gang were coming to Jules from the Boyz2Men concert, I decided to leave. I went straight to Hibiki like a drunken divorced man not wasting any second to sing his heart out again with his equally pathetic buddies. In a matter of minutes I was with a few of the regulars, singing Olivia Newton-John like it could make me happier than dancing to fun showband music at Jules, where the gay vocalist sang Sex Bomb in nothing but a sarong and an undershirt on. Oh, and combat boots.
I spent my Friday finishing an article for an event I covered. The event was fun, but I wasn’t, so I had a hard time writing about it. I spent the day in the mall, in a coffee shop, and it took me five hours to write a simple show review. Jen and Arvin came and Eve followed and Xernes came and we all headed to Chikka Grill. I was very sleepy and a little depressed but went anyway.
Why was I depressed? Maybe because nothing new was happening to me, to my life, to my appearance, and I felt like an old hag. After an afternoon of serious pest control and attempted carpentry (our cabinet door fell off), I dashed out the door. Coffee bean, Chikka Grill.
Saturday was not as depressing, but I wasn’t exactly a happy bunny. I spent the day with people who never fail to tear me apart and make me feel like trash. They can’t help it, because I can’t help it. I can’t say no and that’s always been my problem. I can’t say no because very few people want to be with me, and saying no to any one of them would mean missing out on something, like basic human interaction, or a date of some sort. I went straight to the mall to have coffee and go shopping with Sherry, and we talked about the cause of my depression and she told me to just stop moving and focus. I think I should, but stopping would mean facing the music, and I am not sure if I’m ready for that.
Aside from my depression, another thing I’m worried about is bed bugs. Or are they dust mites? All I know is that they have somehow reached me and decided never to part from me. They’re annoying, they’re gross and they’re ugly and they make me feel like trash, like the two human pests I know. But these human pests are even harder to get rid of because I’d rather be them than be alone.
Monday, May 07, 2007
that girl
So meet me at the corner
I will not be late
I want to see your face again
I want to feel this way again
So let the words slip out
You know you want to say them
You want to feel this way again
You want a nameless face again
So never let the day pass
Without giving me a call
I know there's such a slim chance
But won't you take this one chance
I'm patient and I'm fine
I'm restless and I want you
I want to be that girl again
Come let me be that girl again
I will not be late
I want to see your face again
I want to feel this way again
So let the words slip out
You know you want to say them
You want to feel this way again
You want a nameless face again
So never let the day pass
Without giving me a call
I know there's such a slim chance
But won't you take this one chance
I'm patient and I'm fine
I'm restless and I want you
I want to be that girl again
Come let me be that girl again
Sunday, May 06, 2007
I am restless.
Officially.
Thursday night after a LONG day at work (arrived at 9 AM), I went home, showered and went straight to Chikka Grill for some serious dancing.
Friday, I went to the Arabian Travel Market and tagged along with Eve.
And then Sherry and I went straight to Hibiki where Galo followed.
Woke up Saturday morning and did my groceries. Went home, unloaded them, took a quick quick shower and went straight to the BOD meeting.
BOD meeting finished, Ria and I went around Karama for a few minutes.
She dropped me off at my place, and in less than one minute I washed up and went out again until 9 PM.
By 930 PM I was home, and in an hour or two, as planned, I found myself having mojitos with Jen, Sherry and Ria at Zinc. I said yes to it already and it would be a shame to pass up on free drinks.
I went home itching, with large red bumps on my face. I was scratching my whooole body and I had to raid Colin’s shelves. I found a tube of hydrocortisone cream and it seemed to work because now I am at work and I look less stupid and ugly than this morning.
I am so miserable. I promise to get some sleep later!
Officially.
Thursday night after a LONG day at work (arrived at 9 AM), I went home, showered and went straight to Chikka Grill for some serious dancing.
Friday, I went to the Arabian Travel Market and tagged along with Eve.
And then Sherry and I went straight to Hibiki where Galo followed.
Woke up Saturday morning and did my groceries. Went home, unloaded them, took a quick quick shower and went straight to the BOD meeting.
BOD meeting finished, Ria and I went around Karama for a few minutes.
She dropped me off at my place, and in less than one minute I washed up and went out again until 9 PM.
By 930 PM I was home, and in an hour or two, as planned, I found myself having mojitos with Jen, Sherry and Ria at Zinc. I said yes to it already and it would be a shame to pass up on free drinks.
I went home itching, with large red bumps on my face. I was scratching my whooole body and I had to raid Colin’s shelves. I found a tube of hydrocortisone cream and it seemed to work because now I am at work and I look less stupid and ugly than this morning.
I am so miserable. I promise to get some sleep later!
Friday, May 04, 2007
1. What is your idea of perfect
Happiness?
>> being ok with how i look, feel and live
2. What is your greatest fear?
>> letting myself down
3. Which celebrity you most identify
with?
>> drew barrymore
4. Which living person do you most
admire?
>> Mama Becky
6. What is your favorite journey?
>> the way back into love... hehe
7. What do you dislike most about your
appearance?
>> my thighs
8. Which living person do you most
despise?
>> i don't despise anyone
9. What is your greatest regret?
>> none.
10. When and where were you happiest?
>> lots of times, lots of places
11. If you could change one thing
about yourself, what would it be?
>> lessen the drama moments
12. What do you consider your greatest
achievement?
>> toughing it out here
13. If you were to die and come back
as a person or thing, what do you
think it would be?
>>i want to be my journal
14. What is your most treasured
possesion?
>> my journal
15. What do you most value in your
friends?
>> presence
16. What is it that you most dislike?
>> weakness
17. What is your motto?
>> forward, always forward
Happiness?
>> being ok with how i look, feel and live
2. What is your greatest fear?
>> letting myself down
3. Which celebrity you most identify
with?
>> drew barrymore
4. Which living person do you most
admire?
>> Mama Becky
6. What is your favorite journey?
>> the way back into love... hehe
7. What do you dislike most about your
appearance?
>> my thighs
8. Which living person do you most
despise?
>> i don't despise anyone
9. What is your greatest regret?
>> none.
10. When and where were you happiest?
>> lots of times, lots of places
11. If you could change one thing
about yourself, what would it be?
>> lessen the drama moments
12. What do you consider your greatest
achievement?
>> toughing it out here
13. If you were to die and come back
as a person or thing, what do you
think it would be?
>>i want to be my journal
14. What is your most treasured
possesion?
>> my journal
15. What do you most value in your
friends?
>> presence
16. What is it that you most dislike?
>> weakness
17. What is your motto?
>> forward, always forward
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