At the age of 18, I was inevitably thrown into the world of dating, a shocking experience that was further worsened by the fact that it had to naturally take place after my turbulent puberty years, when I was chubby, insecure and clueless about boys --- qualities that repel men.

My first few dates were not successful, but my fears of not getting the hang of this whole dating thing were assuaged when I had my first boyfriend. We lasted almost three years, and towards the end of the relationship, I realized I have not reached the end of the road yet. In fact, it was just the beginning of a long and sometimes frustrating journey to not being single. And so I went out on blind dates, and some of them might as well have been literally blind. Some of them were creeps. I bet the others thought I was the creep.

And this journey seems far from over. A number of reasons. 1. I am only 25 years old; a serious relationship that may lead to marriage is not an option. 2. I am single and still looking, and I am not one to approach someone I fancy, so I guess waiting is the most stupid but safest thing to do in order to not mess things up with a guy. 3. I have not met anyone I want to be with for a very long time. My male friend says it’s all about excitement. I want a guy because he is new, and we have a lot of things to talk about and laugh at and make fun of. Once that fun phase is over, discontent takes charge and I lose sight of any future that might have been miserable anyway.

And I am not in any way unique in this department. Millions of women suffer from dating dilemmas at any given time. Our stories are everywhere. We were portrayed by Bridget Jones and mocked in many other chick flicks, written about by countless of chick lit authors, turned into statistics by bachelors who don’t have anything better to do than divulge information about their conquests, and pitied by the ones who are hooked up.

But the focus has been so much on us that we fail to take a peek at the other side of the fence, where countless of nerds, dorks and chumps cringe at the thought of not getting the girl they like, or not getting a girl at all. And their story was made clear to me through a book called The Game, written by Neil Strauss. He talked about his experiences socializing with allegedly the world’s best pick up artists, who could steal a guy’s girlfriend under his nose in minutes. I am not yet finished with the book, but I am resigned to the idea that yes, guys also have it bad. Strauss made it clear that the book is a factual account of how he mingled and emulated different pick up artists, whose techniques ranged from magic tricks to a list of cocky-funny jokes they have used hundreds of times to hook up with hundreds of girls. However I still couldn’t believe such men existed (either that or I was not worth the trouble of having to bring all those props just to get my phone number), so I went online and looked them up. And there they were, the websites freely available to all the guys who want to get laid fast and all the girls who want to know how men actually seal the deal. www.puatraining.com and www.themysterymethod.com are only two of the most popular websites on this subject matter, and I’ll leave all the details for you to research.

Learning about this nonsense -- which these men claim as an art/science/result of extensive research in psychology – has made me feel more cautious and suspicious of intentions. If a guy has genuine feelings, he would not resort to phony methods and project a false image to start friendship with a girl. I must admit, suave guys are really a turn-on, but finding out that all this pizzazz roots from insecurity --- the feeling I hate the most --- and takes elaborate practice, then there’s nothing more disgusting and irritating and… well, disappointing.

I am wary of bachelors out there, but more than that, I am on the look out for the simple guys, who are nice and offer nothing but a simple hello. No matter how witty pick up lines are, I now think they’re all lame. Even the prospect of having more excitement in my life isn’t enough reason to make me write my number on a piece of tissue paper. Schemers may kick off fast, but they also kill it as soon as girls find out about their phony act. Nice* guys don’t finish last. They simply last longer.

Nice here is used in the context of genuineness. It pertains to guys who are not aware of any game or schemes, or may be aware of them but do not bother to use them. They may be arrogant, dorky, or plain, but at least they are true and are not evil enough to fool girls, making them nice.