The glass is still half full.
While other friends of mine are embarrassed by ALL their relatives on Facebook by posting either irrelevant, cheesy or unsolicited advise on their walls, only ONE of my relatives does that.
It's annoying, it's equivalent to death in the social media world, BUT there is always the delete button.

What?!

I knew it was going to be awesome but I didn't realize it was going to be such a huge deal.
Plus, he is such a nice guy.

Who pees in a lotion bottle while driving?

That is ridiculous. That is gross and uncivilized and no one should ever reduce a delicately-scented beauty product like that to a portable toilet.
And no one should treat a car seat as a urinal.

Or...

That is awesome.
If there is no nearby toilet and it's the only option left to release those evil toxins, then I'm all for it.
In your face, urinary tract infection.

If your family is prone to renal disease, your reaction would be the latter.

No doubt.

I had an interesting lunch.
Let's see.
A spoonful of peanut butter.
A cup of hot choc'lit.
Some fancy biscuits.
A handful of popcorn.
Spanish olives. They're the best.
Nachos.
Hotdog tidbits.
Lotsa nuts.
A mini sandwich.
Yogurt.
Cheeseseseseses.
There's a big party in my stomach.
Thanks, Gulfood.

No amount of Retinol, moisturizers, affirmation moments and denial can turn back the clock.

People don't say I look 18. No, not anymore.

They either say 22 or 24. Good enough I guess.

But that's only good enough for a few years.

I need a game plan.

I ruled out Botox and unemployment, so this is going to be tough.

Dear random chubby mom,

If you have to explain to a total stranger like me why you took ages inside that cubicle, then you're probably guilty of dropping a bomb in there.

If you walked away with your head held high, I would have respected you.

Too late.

Love,

Zeena

Validation is such a sweet word.
Whether you're getting it from a hotel's concierge to avoid exorbitant parking fees, or a stranger sent by God to give you a compliment just when your self-esteem is plummeting.
This is a good week.

Chek it out, check it out!

I feel like Nicki Minaj minus the slutty rapping and look-at-me-I'm-crazy hair.
I just exchanged six empty MAC containers for a brand new lip color.
Pink Nouveau.
My high school friend wore it at our reunion and I saw a number of cute girls wear it, and I just had to have it.
It is awesome on the lips.
Can't rap to match my lip color yet but working on it!

Another comedy gold discovered by Fifi.

Exciting week! I have not had the chance to have a proper night of sleep.

Ok let's see...

A new kidney for Mama.

Transplant over, bills paid.

She's back home, liking stuff on Facebook and keeping abreast of the whole showbiz scene in Manila.

Fifi and Zeena's visit to the Philippine Labor Office.

We finally got the chance to meet the two distressed maids we were sending home.

We managed to get some of the proceeds of our high school reunion and used it to buy a Dubai-Manila ticket for one of the Pinay housemaids that the labor office are giving shelter to.

And then Lye, Mae, Danters, Fifi and I recently sold old stuff at a flea market, which enabled us to buy another ticket.

So two happy girls going home.

It was truly a day of love.

And of course, pictures with shiny happy athletes at the tennis event.

And another one with Real Madrid's president.

And I lost a little weight.

Icing on the cake.

Miss you Zoe and Agnes!

I told my good friend Chris off for making a harmless comment about my sister's newly established enterprise. It was silly, really.

But I charged it to that time of the month and he was okay with it.

Okay. But it's true.

And that admission flooded the gates of truths that I had carefully hidden in my mind.

That was a nice release from my pointless desire to keep my reality from being discovered.

Sort of like a contrived mystery.

He's worth opening up to, I must say.

Brunch with Fifi

We were like stay-at-home moms who hadn't had time off since Christmas '03.

We dressed up and looked refined.

Took a cab to the hotel with sky-high expectations.

And didn't leave the place until we were numb from all the food, champagne and laughs.

And the massive sprinklers all over the place may have gotten us and our food a little wet, but they didn't succeed in dampening our spirits.

Sorry I'm so dramatic. Sorry to no one in particular.

And no poop jokes at the table, as far as I can remember.

But then again I never remember anything after brunch.

Hard to hate the dude when you know he's got game.

First he puts his junk in a box and gives it to his girl.

Then he acts all stupid on a boat.

And then he poops on his secretary's desk.

He may act like a douche, but it's hard to act like one when you're smart in real life.

That is why Andy Samberg is a genius.

Poor Aimee, her heart was broken by a douche graveyard shifter.
She must feel really bad. She didn't see it coming.
I did. Come on Aimee, give me a hundred push-ups and quit being a wuss.
We're going to celebrate all year round if your jean size drops an inch.
Motivated yet? :)

The latest songs on the radio get me through the day, but the big catch is they are looped in my brain. Possibly forever.

These black guys that sing about getting hoes and partying until they all die are the worst.

They keep me happily bouncing on Emirates Road, but once I reach the office, I can't think of anything else.

And then there are the party chicks like Pink and Katy Perry and Kesha.

They talk about loving forever and drinking until their glasses are empty and blowing up the place for fun. By the time I park I feel like a double gin and tonic.

BUT having said that, I am grateful for their existence.

If it weren't for them I would just be taking life seriously and maybe turn into a prick.

So thank you pop music, thank you pop singers, thank you pop culture for keeping me awake, alive and giving me just enough cheesiness to to keep me sane.

What the f

i live my life and (e)how!

Sometimes when I don't really feel like running my life, I let www.ehow.com do it for me.

Most of the time it does a great job. I can switch my brain off and still function as a human being.

I recommend these search phrases:

Hair color that suits you

How to not look sleepy

How to avoid flatulence

How to feel good

How to get a life

Me, only different

My actions this week have turned me into a completely different person.

Actually, a combination of people I know.

My obsession with chocolates has turned me into Kim Kardashian from the waist down.

Face-wise, I resemble a genetically-modified tomato, thanks to the super strong retinol cream Mama Becky gave me.

And from my neck to my mid-section, I could be either a boobless Sandra Bullock, or Wanda Sykes. Or Justin Bieber. I can't really tell.

My brain is turning into a big pile of nothing, thanks to a visiting friend of mine called insomnia.