I got an email from Cookie and it was all I needed to brighten my day.
Cookie is one of my friends who tell it like it is. Nothing is too complicated or hard for her, because she always goes back to basics, and I'm glad she reminded me of MY fundamentals. There is really no problem that I cannot solve. I'm great, I'm a kickass gigolo pretending to be a girl. I'm worried that I might be losing my luster in an environment that doesn't encourage much creativity. In Manila, being surrounded by a bunch of sinful creatures made me think out of the box, made me witty and smart and inspired. I don't think there's much room for that here. I mean there's literally no room for me here. In thirty days we need to move out. I know I don't make much sense and this doesn't qualify as a blog entry, but this is how I feel. Sue me.
PS I watched Evan Almighty last night and aside form getting a stomach ache from laughing too hard, I realized how God gives us opportunities to get what we wish for. And everyday I think I'm going through the motions, but each challenge, each action, each destination is really an opportunity for me. What kind, I would never know, but I know that something wonderful will happen. Soon. Don't ask me when.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
If there is one thing I need to learn more, it would be crisis management.
Things happen at once and my world stops faster than you can say "wimp".
We are being asked to move out because according to the landlord we are not a family. Never mind the fact that we are the only Filipinos in the building.
And then a couple of giant zits appear on my fat cheeks out of nowhere, just when I desperately need clear skin for work.
And finally, the icing on the cake, my precious phone is showing signs of disdain towards me and deliberately hangs when I'm about to reply to a potential date.
What a fun life.
Ethel reminded me how much of a worry wart I was and I absolutely agreed with her. I know that I will spend the rest of my life fighting fear, that is inevitable, but I should really take one step forward and at least face the music rather than watch a bunch of DVDs to kill time. Or buy some. Or stop it altogether.
I feel that I am the most unfortunate girl in town, and I know I shouldn't, but a few hassles in life happening during my time of the month are too much. Under normal circumstances I would just get a fucking haircut, ugly or otherwise just to have some distraction. Or I would buy myself a nice dress. But part of the problem is, I am broke. I am stingy and I am broke, so that leaves me with... uh let me guess.... zero balance.
I am finally getting a bank account, finally finally finally. I hope to high heavens that it will not be empty soon, and that I will slowly get out of this financial, emotional, mental, celestial and olfactory slump I am in.
Let me smile again, get the stink out of my life again, be a normal person again without anything to worry about. Of course that is not possible in this lifetime, which brings me back to my need of crisis management skills.
I haven't really resolved anything by writing it out, have I?
Well I hope you read this and realized how lucky you are.
Ciao.
Things happen at once and my world stops faster than you can say "wimp".
We are being asked to move out because according to the landlord we are not a family. Never mind the fact that we are the only Filipinos in the building.
And then a couple of giant zits appear on my fat cheeks out of nowhere, just when I desperately need clear skin for work.
And finally, the icing on the cake, my precious phone is showing signs of disdain towards me and deliberately hangs when I'm about to reply to a potential date.
What a fun life.
Ethel reminded me how much of a worry wart I was and I absolutely agreed with her. I know that I will spend the rest of my life fighting fear, that is inevitable, but I should really take one step forward and at least face the music rather than watch a bunch of DVDs to kill time. Or buy some. Or stop it altogether.
I feel that I am the most unfortunate girl in town, and I know I shouldn't, but a few hassles in life happening during my time of the month are too much. Under normal circumstances I would just get a fucking haircut, ugly or otherwise just to have some distraction. Or I would buy myself a nice dress. But part of the problem is, I am broke. I am stingy and I am broke, so that leaves me with... uh let me guess.... zero balance.
I am finally getting a bank account, finally finally finally. I hope to high heavens that it will not be empty soon, and that I will slowly get out of this financial, emotional, mental, celestial and olfactory slump I am in.
Let me smile again, get the stink out of my life again, be a normal person again without anything to worry about. Of course that is not possible in this lifetime, which brings me back to my need of crisis management skills.
I haven't really resolved anything by writing it out, have I?
Well I hope you read this and realized how lucky you are.
Ciao.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Which Office Character Are You? | |
 | You are part Michael. Deep down, you are caring and good-natured, but you often express yourself in insensitive ways. Though you always try your hardest to make your talents be seen, you could use a little more self-awareness to avoid being awkward. |
 | You are part Jim. You are personable, easy-going, and always socially aware. Your great sense of humor and impishness soften the blow of what might otherwise be a dark, cutting cynicism. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
25
I had such a fun time today.
My friends came over for lunch.
Obet cooked.
Then we all went to Hibiki to sing.
And I sang the songs I wanted to sing, not the ones I thought people would appreciate.
Because whether I admit it not, I'd be lying if I said I'd been singing what I wanted for the past couple of months at the karaoke bar.
I guess I wanted to sound good, and with that attitude the fun would stop.
So I decided to raise hell with a song called What's Up by 4Non Blondes.
Didn't care if I sounded like an old hag trying to do country.
Oh well I am an old hag. At least I feel like one.
I am 25. Pretty young if you ask me.
It's just that there are a few things that pushed me to be scared of growing old.
Aging. Aging is the word.
I would hate to see the day when my breasts aim for the floor and my wrinkles are tree branches embossed on my face.
I would hate to see my libido go, my zealous take on life take a backseat, and my love for single life turn into a big desperate call for help in the love department.
There. Now I can sleep peacefully. Good night.
My friends came over for lunch.
Obet cooked.
Then we all went to Hibiki to sing.
And I sang the songs I wanted to sing, not the ones I thought people would appreciate.
Because whether I admit it not, I'd be lying if I said I'd been singing what I wanted for the past couple of months at the karaoke bar.
I guess I wanted to sound good, and with that attitude the fun would stop.
So I decided to raise hell with a song called What's Up by 4Non Blondes.
Didn't care if I sounded like an old hag trying to do country.
Oh well I am an old hag. At least I feel like one.
I am 25. Pretty young if you ask me.
It's just that there are a few things that pushed me to be scared of growing old.
Aging. Aging is the word.
I would hate to see the day when my breasts aim for the floor and my wrinkles are tree branches embossed on my face.
I would hate to see my libido go, my zealous take on life take a backseat, and my love for single life turn into a big desperate call for help in the love department.
There. Now I can sleep peacefully. Good night.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Quote of the Day
"The Noah rule: Predicting rain doesn't count; building arks does."
– Warren Buffett
Interesting weekend.
In two days I lost my phone and I realized I misplaced my passport.
I am tired.
When one's birthday rolls around, situations create themselves to test the celebrant.
In my case, fate is probably fed up with me and telling me to grow up and be less of a ditz.
Or maybe I am just thinking that it's hard to lose things, the things that are supposed to make up my identity. Passport, phone. I'm thinking I can't function without them.
The truth is though, these are the times that test my real identity. Me stripped of the means to communicate with everyone else and proof of the validity of my existence in a foreign place. How I deal with these petty losses will help me make up my opinion of myself, rather than rely on material things that dictate who I am. I am more than a green booklet and a mobile phone. I am a person who is capable of reacting to tough situations with sound solutions. I can handle this.
Just don't let me lose this computer.
In two days I lost my phone and I realized I misplaced my passport.
I am tired.
When one's birthday rolls around, situations create themselves to test the celebrant.
In my case, fate is probably fed up with me and telling me to grow up and be less of a ditz.
Or maybe I am just thinking that it's hard to lose things, the things that are supposed to make up my identity. Passport, phone. I'm thinking I can't function without them.
The truth is though, these are the times that test my real identity. Me stripped of the means to communicate with everyone else and proof of the validity of my existence in a foreign place. How I deal with these petty losses will help me make up my opinion of myself, rather than rely on material things that dictate who I am. I am more than a green booklet and a mobile phone. I am a person who is capable of reacting to tough situations with sound solutions. I can handle this.
Just don't let me lose this computer.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
My Wish List
It took the help of three high school classmates for me to make an email account. I only found out the benefits of the internet when I was in college. I'm the kind of person who doesn't back up, renew anti-virus programs or know how to send a file via blue tooth. I still have a journal, apart from this blog that I painstakingly created two years ago in Manila. Even the word techie seems new to me, even though I've been hearing people use it all the time for years. I want to gradually make my way into the 21st century and kill my ignorance. And what better way to do that than have wish list made up of techie stuff? You might think that the following gadgets are ancient, but they are new to me and I find it absurd to purchase them myself. Save me from this quicksand of technology cluelessness and graciously consider buying them for me.
Please.
1. A flash drive. Preferrably 2 GB. I don't even know if that's what you call it, but I need it as soon as possible. It's enough to store all my files in my laptop, which I I have a feeling will give up any given minute.
2. A better wifi detector. Or is it adaptor? Find out. You see, my laptop is tired and old, and I'm the only person in the flat with crappy internet connection. As I write this, this ugly thing is blinking rapidly, desperately searching for connection. So figure out what this thing is called and give it to me on my birthday.
3. A memory stick for my phone. I believe it can take as much as 1 GB and sooner or later I will have to use it, with all the pictures and songs I plan to store in my mobile phone.
4. A digital camera. I want a digital camera. Needless to say, I am a picture monster and I need to document every single drunken minute of my karaoke life. Plus it will be useful for work.
5. My battery-operated friend Totoy. I left him at the airport for fear that it might get confiscated. I left it with Kath, and I hope she will take good care of it. It's my very own version of the Tamagochi. It kept me company, but never hurt me. It didn't bite, didn't require any form of care, and was ever-dependable. I am not crazy enough to ask anyone to give me a new friend, because Totoy will always be Totoy. But if they give me a new one I already have a name for him: Bruno.
Please.
1. A flash drive. Preferrably 2 GB. I don't even know if that's what you call it, but I need it as soon as possible. It's enough to store all my files in my laptop, which I I have a feeling will give up any given minute.
2. A better wifi detector. Or is it adaptor? Find out. You see, my laptop is tired and old, and I'm the only person in the flat with crappy internet connection. As I write this, this ugly thing is blinking rapidly, desperately searching for connection. So figure out what this thing is called and give it to me on my birthday.
3. A memory stick for my phone. I believe it can take as much as 1 GB and sooner or later I will have to use it, with all the pictures and songs I plan to store in my mobile phone.
4. A digital camera. I want a digital camera. Needless to say, I am a picture monster and I need to document every single drunken minute of my karaoke life. Plus it will be useful for work.
5. My battery-operated friend Totoy. I left him at the airport for fear that it might get confiscated. I left it with Kath, and I hope she will take good care of it. It's my very own version of the Tamagochi. It kept me company, but never hurt me. It didn't bite, didn't require any form of care, and was ever-dependable. I am not crazy enough to ask anyone to give me a new friend, because Totoy will always be Totoy. But if they give me a new one I already have a name for him: Bruno.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
This is a tough time for me.
I think turning 25 sucks and I don't have the ability to turn back time.
Turn back time. Aqua and I have got to have a chat over beer.
Gone are the days when dancing and singing were all I cared about.
Now I have to make sure I am going somewhere, and I have to get there fast.
Or else time will pass me by and I would never be able to tell what went wrong.
I have TROUBLED TWENTY SOMETHING written all over my forehead.
But I can still smile, no worries.
I can still laugh, no biggie.
I can still work hard enough to get a pay check that pays my bills and feeds me.
it's not much but it's what I have for now and what I have for now matters.
I'm going to bed.
(Not to hell.)
I think turning 25 sucks and I don't have the ability to turn back time.
Turn back time. Aqua and I have got to have a chat over beer.
Gone are the days when dancing and singing were all I cared about.
Now I have to make sure I am going somewhere, and I have to get there fast.
Or else time will pass me by and I would never be able to tell what went wrong.
I have TROUBLED TWENTY SOMETHING written all over my forehead.
But I can still smile, no worries.
I can still laugh, no biggie.
I can still work hard enough to get a pay check that pays my bills and feeds me.
it's not much but it's what I have for now and what I have for now matters.
I'm going to bed.
(Not to hell.)
I want to be here.
I hate myself for thinking too much.
These days I find myself wondering why I love this industry so much.
I could just be selling cars or weaving abaca baskets.
Why do I love the filth, the politics, the crazy shit I have to go through in order to put up every bulletin?
I tried other jobs. I was a call center agent, I was a receptionist, I was a small-time entrepreneur. They left me dry and desperate and incredibly lonely, like I was on my way to hell and the only thing that could save me was a job in TV.
Even an active dating life wouldn't make me smile. Not quite.
Now I have a job that doesn't pay much, with no boundaries in responsibilities, and doesn't pay me for extra hours, but I am willing to stay just to see if the ship will sink, continue to float aimlessly, or finally get where the captain wants to go.
And the only time I will stop is when I've had enough of it. Or when they say "Zeena, you suck at your job, go tend sheep or wipe old people's asses." I have so many things to discover, so many things to learn, so many things to do before I can finally say that I am ready to quit this shit.
I want this.
I want this.
I want this.
These days I find myself wondering why I love this industry so much.
I could just be selling cars or weaving abaca baskets.
Why do I love the filth, the politics, the crazy shit I have to go through in order to put up every bulletin?
I tried other jobs. I was a call center agent, I was a receptionist, I was a small-time entrepreneur. They left me dry and desperate and incredibly lonely, like I was on my way to hell and the only thing that could save me was a job in TV.
Even an active dating life wouldn't make me smile. Not quite.
Now I have a job that doesn't pay much, with no boundaries in responsibilities, and doesn't pay me for extra hours, but I am willing to stay just to see if the ship will sink, continue to float aimlessly, or finally get where the captain wants to go.
And the only time I will stop is when I've had enough of it. Or when they say "Zeena, you suck at your job, go tend sheep or wipe old people's asses." I have so many things to discover, so many things to learn, so many things to do before I can finally say that I am ready to quit this shit.
I want this.
I want this.
I want this.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Hello God!
Before going out on a date this evening I had a brief online chat with one of my aunts. It was a short but very meaningful conversation, something that lingered on my mind even after we logged off. She advised me to keep on praying and not do anything she won't be proud of. So I was putting my gypsy outfit and applying the usual shades of make up on my big fat face until my date came to pick me up, and I was still thinking about what she said. It was so simple, just commonsense really, but nevertheless it was the kind of thing I forget the most, so it was refreshing to have someone remind me about it, someone I truly trust.
I carried on with my date, and over three courses of fondue, we got around to talking about religion. On dates, I had always hidden the fact that my family, although never always together, prays together. I didn't quite like being thought of as a church girl or a Jesus fanatic. However this evening it was different. He said he was an agnostic, and under normal circumstances the talk about religion would just end with me nodding my head submissively. But I actually went the other direction, and I am so happy to have finally said it --- I love my God. I love Him for the world. I don't know if his name is really Jesus, or if he has a beard, or if he can really save my life, but I know that he listens to me, because when I turn to Him, I always end up feeling better and empowered. He is my God and no one else's. He's the kind of friend who doesn't really answer me but I can feel his support in so many levels. And towards the end of my little speech, as the chocolate fondue hardened, my date flashed a bright smile of genuine acceptance.
We went for a walk and talked about other things, like rock pools and water beds and the Moulin Rouge and Bawadi and desalination plants. We didn't go back to religion, but my faith stayed where it was. I may not be the kind of person who shows how I worship my God, but I truly do and I want to explore our relationship rather than start one with a horny earthling. I'm not talking about my date, just men in general.
So anyway he took me home, and we thanked each other the nice dinner and conversation, we said good night, and I said hello to my God. I'm back on track and I'll try not to lose my way again.
I carried on with my date, and over three courses of fondue, we got around to talking about religion. On dates, I had always hidden the fact that my family, although never always together, prays together. I didn't quite like being thought of as a church girl or a Jesus fanatic. However this evening it was different. He said he was an agnostic, and under normal circumstances the talk about religion would just end with me nodding my head submissively. But I actually went the other direction, and I am so happy to have finally said it --- I love my God. I love Him for the world. I don't know if his name is really Jesus, or if he has a beard, or if he can really save my life, but I know that he listens to me, because when I turn to Him, I always end up feeling better and empowered. He is my God and no one else's. He's the kind of friend who doesn't really answer me but I can feel his support in so many levels. And towards the end of my little speech, as the chocolate fondue hardened, my date flashed a bright smile of genuine acceptance.
We went for a walk and talked about other things, like rock pools and water beds and the Moulin Rouge and Bawadi and desalination plants. We didn't go back to religion, but my faith stayed where it was. I may not be the kind of person who shows how I worship my God, but I truly do and I want to explore our relationship rather than start one with a horny earthling. I'm not talking about my date, just men in general.
So anyway he took me home, and we thanked each other the nice dinner and conversation, we said good night, and I said hello to my God. I'm back on track and I'll try not to lose my way again.
Monday, July 23, 2007
I’ve told myself time and again that I will not waste my life worrying. But every single day I find myself doing just that. Marvelous.
Worrying is a sign that I have so much fear in me, and that’s exactly what I want to get rid of. I used to be so fearless, so carefree, so hell-to-the-world-I’ll set-you-on-fire. Now I seem to have lost my luster. Is it Dubai? Is it adulthood? Is it the enormous amount of pressure on me at work? I have no idea.
And so I go and debate my singleness and my fatness and my loneliness. And I know that it’s not right to feel this way, I have been extremely lucky and I am in no position to complain. I’m not complaining. Just keeping it all in. That’s even worse.
What I want is to stop worrying. Stop worrying about my housemates and the laundry. Stop worrying if I am wearing such a sucky outfit. Stop worrying about the internet connection. Stop worrying about romantic connection… anyway in the end I always find out there is none.
What I also want is to make the most of my life. Not anyone else’s. I also find myself letting go, giving up things just to resolve conflicts. Well, I realized I am going to be indifferent, to the point of retardation. Lucky spazmos, they don’t need to be understood. Because they’re literally crazy, and I am just a nut. People ignore them and still love them without expecting anything of them. People can say I am just a nut, not completely crazy, and I have no excuse to treat life like a candy bar.
Worrying is a sign that I have so much fear in me, and that’s exactly what I want to get rid of. I used to be so fearless, so carefree, so hell-to-the-world-I’ll set-you-on-fire. Now I seem to have lost my luster. Is it Dubai? Is it adulthood? Is it the enormous amount of pressure on me at work? I have no idea.
And so I go and debate my singleness and my fatness and my loneliness. And I know that it’s not right to feel this way, I have been extremely lucky and I am in no position to complain. I’m not complaining. Just keeping it all in. That’s even worse.
What I want is to stop worrying. Stop worrying about my housemates and the laundry. Stop worrying if I am wearing such a sucky outfit. Stop worrying about the internet connection. Stop worrying about romantic connection… anyway in the end I always find out there is none.
What I also want is to make the most of my life. Not anyone else’s. I also find myself letting go, giving up things just to resolve conflicts. Well, I realized I am going to be indifferent, to the point of retardation. Lucky spazmos, they don’t need to be understood. Because they’re literally crazy, and I am just a nut. People ignore them and still love them without expecting anything of them. People can say I am just a nut, not completely crazy, and I have no excuse to treat life like a candy bar.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I can't wait.
Push the fast forward button so I can go home.
The feeling of longing is intoxicating.
I need to not be in my right mind so I can endure waiting a few more months.
Or else I would attempt to fly all the way to Manila.
Dubai has given me so much and I don't deny that.
But Manila is heaven. It is home.
Plus it's more fun to get drunk there.
I can crawl on the streets and not be arrested.
I can puke in the cab without fear of being called a slag. Which I am not.
When I go home I will drink and be merry.
And be very very drunk.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
nothing else to do
Starting Time: 12:!3
Name: Zeena Celine Zalamea
Sisters: Zoe!!!
Brothers: 0
Shoe size: 6
Height: 5'2"
what are u wearing?: pajamas with holes and an old shirt with more holes
Favorite Number: 21
Favorite Drink: bullfrog
Favorite Month: December
Favorite Breakfast: cereal
***Have You Ever
Broken a bone: never
Been in a police car: never
Been on a boat: yeah going to Galera and Boracay...
Came close to dying: once, twice
Swam in the ocean: only near the shore
Fallen asleep in school: yes in college
Broken someone's heart: i am not sure
Cried when someone died: yes
Fell off your chair: yes a couple of times
Sat by the phone..waiting for someone to
call? Not literally but yes, I waited for lots of phone calls that didn't come.
Saved emails?: all the time
Been cheated on: I think so. Don't guys do that all the time?
cheated on the test: a couple of times
***What is-
Your room like?:a nice quiet abode shared with Sherry and Ethel
Whats right beside you?: wall
What is the last thing you ate?:
a bagel
---Ever Had---
Chicken pox: yep.
Sore throat: yes
Stitches: yes, I was big fan when I was a kid
Broken nose: thank God never
---Do You---
Like picnics?
- Love them, especially with nice friends.
Like School?
- I love it more now that it's over. I miss it.
---Questions---
Who was the last person you danced
with: Sherry I think at Hibiki
Who makes you smile?
- nice emails from family and friends
---Who---
Did you last yell at: Mahmoud for being so late.
Do you like yourself?
- Yes most of the time
---Final Questions---
What are you listening to right now?
- my self typing away
Hated someone in your family?
- My dad
What car do you wish to have?
- Oddly, I don't wish to have one at the moment.
Good singer:
-fabulous. Not necessarily great, but fabulous.
Diamond or pearl?
- diamonds
Indoors or outdoors:
- indoors .. it's freaking hot outside!
---Today did you---
1. Talk to someone you like?
- yes
2. Who?
- some guy
3. Get sick?
- yes, I didn't go to work.
4. Sing:
- I do. Every single Thursday.
5. Talked to an ex:
- not recently
---Last person who---
7. Was in your bed besides you:
Jen gueco
8. Talked to on the phone?
- Ria
10. Went to the movies with?
- Sherry, Ethel and friends. Harry Pottah!
went to the mall with:
- i went by myself today
12.Been to Europe:
- never
13. Been to Asia:
- yes I actually live there
14.been to Russia:
- never
15.Been to the Bahamas:
- no no no no
18. Been to Mexico:
- will you take me?
19. Been to Canada:
- no but I want to
20. Been to U.S.:
-yes to see my aunts!!!
---Random---
21. Do you like someone at
the moment:
- well no one in particular
22. What books are you reading
right now?
- something by monica ali... i think it's called Alentejo Blue
23. Best feeling in the world:
- love. what else?
24. Future kids names:
-I haven't really thought about that.
25. Do you sleep with a
stuffed animal:
- no. I do sleep like an animal though.
Time Finished: 12:26
Name: Zeena Celine Zalamea
Sisters: Zoe!!!
Brothers: 0
Shoe size: 6
Height: 5'2"
what are u wearing?: pajamas with holes and an old shirt with more holes
Favorite Number: 21
Favorite Drink: bullfrog
Favorite Month: December
Favorite Breakfast: cereal
***Have You Ever
Broken a bone: never
Been in a police car: never
Been on a boat: yeah going to Galera and Boracay...
Came close to dying: once, twice
Swam in the ocean: only near the shore
Fallen asleep in school: yes in college
Broken someone's heart: i am not sure
Cried when someone died: yes
Fell off your chair: yes a couple of times
Sat by the phone..waiting for someone to
call? Not literally but yes, I waited for lots of phone calls that didn't come.
Saved emails?: all the time
Been cheated on: I think so. Don't guys do that all the time?
cheated on the test: a couple of times
***What is-
Your room like?:a nice quiet abode shared with Sherry and Ethel
Whats right beside you?: wall
What is the last thing you ate?:
a bagel
---Ever Had---
Chicken pox: yep.
Sore throat: yes
Stitches: yes, I was big fan when I was a kid
Broken nose: thank God never
---Do You---
Like picnics?
- Love them, especially with nice friends.
Like School?
- I love it more now that it's over. I miss it.
---Questions---
Who was the last person you danced
with: Sherry I think at Hibiki
Who makes you smile?
- nice emails from family and friends
---Who---
Did you last yell at: Mahmoud for being so late.
Do you like yourself?
- Yes most of the time
---Final Questions---
What are you listening to right now?
- my self typing away
Hated someone in your family?
- My dad
What car do you wish to have?
- Oddly, I don't wish to have one at the moment.
Good singer:
-fabulous. Not necessarily great, but fabulous.
Diamond or pearl?
- diamonds
Indoors or outdoors:
- indoors .. it's freaking hot outside!
---Today did you---
1. Talk to someone you like?
- yes
2. Who?
- some guy
3. Get sick?
- yes, I didn't go to work.
4. Sing:
- I do. Every single Thursday.
5. Talked to an ex:
- not recently
---Last person who---
7. Was in your bed besides you:
Jen gueco
8. Talked to on the phone?
- Ria
10. Went to the movies with?
- Sherry, Ethel and friends. Harry Pottah!
went to the mall with:
- i went by myself today
12.Been to Europe:
- never
13. Been to Asia:
- yes I actually live there
14.been to Russia:
- never
15.Been to the Bahamas:
- no no no no
18. Been to Mexico:
- will you take me?
19. Been to Canada:
- no but I want to
20. Been to U.S.:
-yes to see my aunts!!!
---Random---
21. Do you like someone at
the moment:
- well no one in particular
22. What books are you reading
right now?
- something by monica ali... i think it's called Alentejo Blue
23. Best feeling in the world:
- love. what else?
24. Future kids names:
-I haven't really thought about that.
25. Do you sleep with a
stuffed animal:
- no. I do sleep like an animal though.
Time Finished: 12:26
Friday, July 13, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
It’s been crazy at work.
I won’t have a weekend, and it’s my choice.
Choosing to work over the weekend means choosing not do to other stupid things.
It means choosing to behave and stay in a place where I am safe, and I will go home and sleep soundly, without horrible nightmares.
It means I can wake up the next morning with only bad breath to worry about.
It means not being afraid of getting out of my comfort zone, because in the long run that comfort zone will eat me alive and I will end up feeling lonely.
I can assure you that.
I won’t have a weekend, and it’s my choice.
Choosing to work over the weekend means choosing not do to other stupid things.
It means choosing to behave and stay in a place where I am safe, and I will go home and sleep soundly, without horrible nightmares.
It means I can wake up the next morning with only bad breath to worry about.
It means not being afraid of getting out of my comfort zone, because in the long run that comfort zone will eat me alive and I will end up feeling lonely.
I can assure you that.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
i love change. and i don't mean nickels and dimes.
I am finally in my new place.
Comfortable, and Sherry and Ethel were extremely helpful.
I can be picked up late and still make it to work on time.
This isn't so hard.
Change isn't so bad.
True, I am just adjusting.
Adjusting as in always sleeping later and never minding what I wear to work and getting used to just being in my little corner and vomitting at work.
Change is stressful.
Better than not moving at all.
Better than just keeping still, trying to fight the forces that will make me grow.
So Sheryl Crow wasn't just hoping to make money by writing that song that goes "A change would do you good..." She really meant it. I think.
Sometimes it hurts to think that people have to change so much in this lifetime.
It hurts because it means saying lots of goodbyes and always adjusting to new things and always trying to fit in and stop doing things they love.
But as long as I have myself, still breathing and in one piece, change won't harm me.
Not in the long run. If anything, it will strengthen me.
I do think that with so many changes in my life, when I'm 30 I'll be able to fly.
Or drive a truck.
Whichever comes handy first.
Comfortable, and Sherry and Ethel were extremely helpful.
I can be picked up late and still make it to work on time.
This isn't so hard.
Change isn't so bad.
True, I am just adjusting.
Adjusting as in always sleeping later and never minding what I wear to work and getting used to just being in my little corner and vomitting at work.
Change is stressful.
Better than not moving at all.
Better than just keeping still, trying to fight the forces that will make me grow.
So Sheryl Crow wasn't just hoping to make money by writing that song that goes "A change would do you good..." She really meant it. I think.
Sometimes it hurts to think that people have to change so much in this lifetime.
It hurts because it means saying lots of goodbyes and always adjusting to new things and always trying to fit in and stop doing things they love.
But as long as I have myself, still breathing and in one piece, change won't harm me.
Not in the long run. If anything, it will strengthen me.
I do think that with so many changes in my life, when I'm 30 I'll be able to fly.
Or drive a truck.
Whichever comes handy first.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Monday, July 02, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
friends' sites
I got an invite from Danica. She wanted to add me to her friends list on a site called StumbleUpon. How many invites do I get to join these silly sites. Hi5, Zorpia, Facebook, LinkedIn, freaking Eskwela. I used to be a big fan of these sites that were suppsed to get you more friends and make you popular, but guess what, I've stopped joining. Friendster is all I need. Friendster got me intro trouble, but also saved my life, and made me discover stuff that I wouldn't find out if not for the excellent friends networking service it's got. It also cracks me up, when I browse and see how my old friends have become. Anyway my point is, I don't need new friends, or new friends' sites. I am ok with Friendster's services. And no freaking friends site ever had true friends for members. They're usually fly-by-night predators who think they're hot stuff. Even on Friendster, they have demons. But that site's my turf and I can handle them. And even if I couldn't, I have enough real-life friends to turn to. Thank you.
Ok that didn't make sense at all.
Ok that didn't make sense at all.
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