Had fun!
Spent lunch time at home stuffing my face with siopao and chips.
I also mock-proposed to Fifi by going down on one knee and offering her a piece of cake that looked exactly like a Tiffany blue box.
It was tear-jerking. In many ways.
Anyway Fifi and I collaborated on another rap song.
She's my Dr. Dre/Timbaland in a lot of ways, and I'm her Eminem/50 Cent.
Actually we borrowed Leslie Knope's rendition of a famous early 90s rap song.
Well, famous if you were a Fresh Prince fan.
We are not dorks, but we couldn't think of anything else to do.
Will post it here soon :)
Oh my gosh multi-media savvy beats being president any day!

I am so happy today!

The big zit smack in the middle of my forehead is a speck of dirt in my life.

That's the power of optimism and morning workouts.

Also I think my thighs are getting smaller.

I have been waking up extra early lately to go for a swim in the morning and talk to my mom on the phone. It feels great!
I get a lot done before 9 AM, like go to the bank or make my morning warm water and lemon concoction and sip it slowly.
I also have a lot of time to clear my mind before starting another long day at work.
It is so great to be an early bird for a change!
I've been a late sleeper for so long, maybe a decade!
And to wake up at 630 in the morning to jump in the pool is a big achievement for me!
Some people climb Mt. Everest, some decide to end their drug addiction, some get all of their teeth repaired, and I decide to wake up three hours earlier than my usual wake up time.
Not bad.

Michelle Phan's rice water toner and cotton mask

I love this video! Yes I will try this. Don't eat rice. Put it on your face, biotches!

Handsome Men's Club

Oh my gosh!
How handsome are the men in the Handsome Men's Club?
I'm surprised the studio didn't explode when they all got together.
Okay, my top three picks are:

Rob Lowe
Lenny Kravitz
John Kasinski

World of 30

Check this out! This group I am working with posted the short video I made about two girls who share what they love about their age. Both are based in Dubai and turning 30 this year, and are looking forward to a lot of things after hitting the big Three-Oh. More importantly, they are happy!

World of 30 is a group dedicated to women who are either approaching their 30s, have turned 30, or are in their early 30s. The founders are beautiful, creative, and determined to reach out to women all over the world to address their concerns that come with their age.

I am so happy they found me! :)

They say that God will never give you a challenge that you cannot overcome.

Today, I have accepted a very big one, and it is about to change my life.

This will bring my self-respect to greater heights and make my family happier than ever.

Most importantly, it will make me worthy to be God's beautiful child.

All for Your glory, God. Amen.

+

=

Ok my video post was NOT successful at all.

For some reason the audio was not in synch with the video.

So my mouth is moving weirdly and this could distract the viewer.

Whatevah.

What up! I just found out you could post videos on this thing. How low-tech am I?

Ok so here's a video I made in February.

I wrote this song in high school. It's about... good guess. A boy.

He's a drummer and I never got the chance to know him because I was too shy to approach him.

Also he was part of a big band back home. Underground superstar status.

So there.

And how stupid do I look in the beginning and between verses?

Hahaha.

Enjoy!

I cannot stand watching this performance by Adele.
It's such a very good, very emotional, very precise account of every failed love story.
It drags the corners of my mouth down to the ground.
She is so good.

Bedtime Schmedtime

I am tempted by lots of C's this week. Panic!

Chocolate, Cosmos and carbs!

Yikes!

Must ask other C's to salvage this bovine lifestyle.

Vitamic C, costumes (wink) and Christian living!

Corny, cheesy, completely useless information.

I realized that one way I could help my Philippines is by supporting the Reproductive Health Bill.
It hit me when I had a conversation with a 23-year old Belgian who seemed to have vast intimate knowledge of what's going on in my uterus.
And I took no offense because I kind of had an idea why.
The Belgians have one of the best educational systems in the world.
The moment they hit puberty, their teachers are obliged to tell them what hormones do to you, and how they change your body.
As a result, they are smart enough to know when and when not to fool around.
They also know what to do when they do fool around.
And they now what's going on in their bodies.
And so the Belgians are able to plan their lives - when to settle down, have babies and juggle family life with career.
So the Kingdom of Belgium sits comfortably somewhere in Western Europe, with a population of over 10 million and a GDP of $466 billion.
The government does not need to worry about hungry mouths to feed, homeless families, and what the church will say about family planning.
Belgium is also a predominantly Roman Catholic nation, just like the Philippines.
I am no genius and have not conducted a study on whether the RH Bill will improve our lives and consequently the Philippine economy, but maybe it will.
Squeeze it into the curriculum.
Welcome questions.
Give people options.
We hear of families having too many babies because they couldn't afford condoms or pills, so they kill their babies or make them work before they could even go to school.
They're lucky if they could.
So what's wrong with a few free condoms being passed around the slums?
What's wrong with having options other than despair and death?
Let's give RH a shot.
Come one people.
We gave Erap a shot.
We will never ever be Belgium, but we can be a better, less hungry, less ignorant, happier Philippines.
Now where to start.

forward, always forward: The Kardashians are back!

forward, always forward: The Kardashians are back!

The Kardashians are back!

Kris and Kim at Sonya's Garden, Tagaytay

Khloe, Kim and Kourtney with Gab at Dubai WTC

Kim and Kris at Sonya's Garden

Kourtney, Kris and Khloe performing at Kim's birthday party

Kim, Kourtney and Khloe at Yas Island, Abu Dhabi

Kourtney's karaoke birthday party

Kourtney, Khloe, Kim and Kris at Comedy Junction

Kim and Khloe hanging out at a coffee shop

7 Female Celebs Who Got Plastic Surgery For “Medical Reasons”

7 Female Celebs Who Got Plastic Surgery For “Medical Reasons”

I wish there was a thigh-and-hip equivalent of a deviated septum.

I know that obsession over losing weight is not a unique trait.

Hundreds of girls shrink, get ill and even die from it.

But I am still learning how I as an individual developed it.

It's become embedded in my soul that I don't see it as a burden.

In fact, it is integral to my existence.

If within a month I don't shed unwanted fat, I panic and sometimes think my life is ruined.

But that is okay, because more often than not, I always do.

When I don't, I find a way to do so.

And the control I gain over how I am supposed to look and what the weighing scale should say is intoxicating, like falling in love or going on a really nice holiday.

Ok, at least I know where to start: control.

Control is synonymous for Leo.

Leos like being on top, whether it is of a situation or a nice young man.

They thrive in knowing that they are able to manipulate something or someone effortlessly that in the end, they are seen as powerful yet beautiful.

That is exactly how I feel and what I become when I lose a kilo, resist a cookie, or burn 900 calories in 90 minutes doing Bikram yoga.

So why do I feel the urge to control my weight?

I am generally a person who needs more patience.

And while it takes time to achieve my biggest goals in life, body weight is such an easy thing to play with.

Bikini season in a couple of weeks? No problem.

I can quit chocolate, drink a gazillion cups of green tea, walk a mile or two every day, and purchase every weight loss supplement in the market.

And then I am not tubby anymore.

And then I am happy.

Quick weight loss quenches my thirst for things to happen instantly.

Why did I grow up not being patient?

Because it was absolutely a no-no for my mother.

I am being completely neutral about this.

When I was a kid I thought my mom was ruthless and unbelievably impatient.

But as I grew up I learned that sometimes, patience is an excuse to not move a muscle and trigger activity in one's life.

In short, impatience makes me do stuff.

And I do stuff.

Wow sometimes I just go on and on about something and I totally lose my point and become sleepy.

Good night!

What is up with people who do NOT let me finish talking, only to either repeat what I was going to say, or make a really stupid point?
Along with deceiving a woman's heart, it should be illegal, Shakira.
I have developed this indispensable skill of standing straight and speaking without stuttering and looking down, and it is hard for me to maintain for years.
And it's hard for me to maintain that swag every time a douchelord interrupts me.
Good thing there is that breathe-and-count-to-ten technique, or prayers.

How incredible is life?
Seriously.
I have not had time to think about it lately, but when I do get a minute or two, like now, I make it a point to ponder events in my life lately, and it is simply awesome.
When a struggle ends, another starts.
And as we all know a struggle is not an end in itself.
Struggles make us stronger, wiser, happier in the long run.
But we can only take so much at once, and so we are given one at a time.
I am so happy that my mom is recovering fast and her doctor has reduced her meds.
It is truly good news for the whole family.
And right now we have something else - equally big and life-changing - to think about.
And it is a challenge I am willing to take on.
I am very excited because my family and I are working as a team again.
The fact that I am miles away is not even important.
We are so awesome.
I love it!

I am in love with Blaine even though he is gay.

Rebecca Gonzales Zalamea is my mother.

Call her Becky for short.

She had me when she was barely 18.

So she was this tiny 18-year-old mom in the early 80's.

After finishing college, she started to work.

Every day she would commute from Quezon City to Manila, where she worked as a designer.

Every day she would work hard and go home to greet me and prepare dinner.

She worked to buy my milk, clothes, pay our bills, send me to good schools, pay for my swimming and ballet and speech classes, pay for our weekend holidays with our aunts and cousins, and give me some money to buy food in the school cafeteria.

She taught me to pray and we walked to church together every Sunday.

She was not one to show weakness.

Rest and solitude were for losers.

She kept working even when she was pregnant with little Zoe.

She worked through the most turbulent times of her life, and worked her way up until she was not longer a mere employee but an indispensable figure in her firm.

She established her own line of clothing.

She put up her own business.

Everything we ate, used and enjoyed were from the fruits of her labor.

I always thought she worked really hard.

She would take a vacation once in a few years.

She loved the States and Hongkong.

Straight from the plane, she would make sure we were good girls, and go back to work.

I cried to her a lot of times and she didn't like it.

I didn't like it either.

I wanted to be strong for her and I wanted her to see that I took after her when it came to possessing strength and soldiering on in the face of adversity.

And then the daily grind stopped this year.

She took a minute to rest and catch her breath.

She is regaining her strength and can't wait to get back on track.

That's my Mama.

I've been witnessing her tireless and selfless efforts to keep our family intact for 28 years.

Many people tell me that they admire my mother's resilience, and that they wish they could be like her.

Well, it hasn't been easy to get to where she is.

It took a lot of twists and turns.

But at present, we have never been happier.

You are an amazing mother, Mama.

You deserve the world.

I love you.

This is the week of a LOT of Fs - fatigue, fun, friends, frivolous frolicking, fat figures, fading foundation, feces, favors, fixations, fiends and family.
And I cannot explain each one of em.

Housewarming Party Guest Wish List

ok i was so bored i played a game in my head.

what if my friends and i had lots of money but we could only use it to pay for good company?

and so my housewarming party guest wish list idea was born.

Zeena's Guests:

1. Zach Galifianakis. My favorite person at the moment. "If a foot could fart..."

2. Aziz Ansari. Tom Haverford is a close second, thanks to www.tomhaverfoods.com

3. Jim Balsillie. Please give me a new BlackBerry and a PlayBook. And I will rest my case.

Fifi's Guests:

1-5. The hosts of TV5's Juicy. They MUST sing the Blind Items jingle because it tickles Fifi.

Momzi's Guests:

1. A lover. Nuff said.

2. A new boss. Word.

3. Our trusted dermatologist. Good luck getting out of the party place alive.

I know I tend to overuse the word "literally", but right now, I'm not kidding, there are literally hundreds of things happening at the moment - in me, around me, concerning me, concerning the people around me, and they can all be too much to handle. I am only one tiny brown girl. And while not entirely empty, my brain cannot cope with things that all need to be thought through and decided upon at once.

A lot of people around me seem to think they know better.

I don't, but neither do they.

It is just sad when they are arrogant, negative and inconsiderate.

But in the spirit of Easter, may they finally obtain the knowledge they thought they had.

Google Me

I just discovered that if you googled me, all my Tweets, blog posts, stand up comedy videos, idly written comments on various websites and profile on all networking sites turn up - all in between my online resume, work videos and sites that mention my work.

I am very careful when writing something which is not work-related online, but my opinions and story-telling are too much information for potential employers.

And I have not idea how to clean up my act on the world wide web. Apparently typing and clicking are not the only skills one has to have in order to use the web properly.

Sorry Mike Sorrentino, but this is The Situation.

I realized that since finding this out, I've become more cautious when expressing my thoughts and insights on any website, even this precious blog of mine. If I eventually learned to edit my Google results, I would be faced with a dilemma: do I really want to hide my blog from people? Nobody reads it at the moment but that is not the point. Do I want my Tweets to be read only by my followers? Most of them are US-based companies selling random stuff, but again that is not the point.

It would be horrible to worry about it all night. Well I don't have to, thanks to Sleep N Restore. Melatonin and Valerian will help me sleep like a baby in 5, 4, 3...

I am not a loser, but this morning I went online to look for inspirational quotes that would inspire me to go to work today.
A short backgrounder: I have been restless since I landed in Dubai last week, and started trying a bunch of home remedies and herbal pills to keep my stress levels down and help me go to sleep.
My efforts are not entirely futile, but I seem to be tiring myself more looking for more remedies to feel better and better.
It was becoming a pointless snowball of temporary cures to a messy mind.
So I tried another method.
Let's have a go at this Zen thing.
So I start by going online (dur... how do we always start something?) and these words made a HUGE difference to my day.
If they make you feel a little better, good.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
Henry David Thoreau

The only journey is the journey within.
Rainer Maria Rilke

We are either progressing or retrograding all the while; there is no such thing as remaining stationary in this life.
James Freeman Clarke

Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and good things will be yours.
Swedish Proverb

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one's horse when he is leaping.
Thomas Hood

Quarter life crisis visited me late.

Too late, in fact.

I am 28. I have no business worrying about what to do with my life.

I should have had that cheap insane moment ten years ago.

But there was no way I could slam the door in its face.

It came uninvited, and if I didn't deal with it, it was going to sleep over.

Jerk.

So I pondered.

Tried to think like a poet/the Dalai Lama/Maya Angelou and struggled to find words to console myself.

Needless to say, QLC left a gaping hole in my brain and I could not think of anything good to tell myself.

What a bummer.

Not even little miss perfect Kim Kardashian inspired me.

Tried to smile but ended up smirking at the thought of smiling.

What was there to smile about?

I was a big lump of mess.

Until Cookie went online.

She saved me.

We talked, talked some more, and laughed.

I feel so much better knowing that on the other side of the world a friend understands exactly what I am going through.

And helps me cope too.

And encourages me to be positive, productive, grateful and resilient.

Now all I need is a warm bath, two sleeping pills and I am all set to bury this episode six feet underground.

If I wake up and it's still there, God will find a way to save me again.

I'm glad He sent Cookie tonight.

Amen.

"The Daily Stat: Mobile-Phone Purchases Reduce Tobacco Use in Philippines"

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2058946_2059124_2059119,00.html #ixzz1IurYdM3M

- a Tweet by Harvard Business Review

Okay, this makes Lucio Tan poorer and MVP richer.
But this also means that more people may get cancer from mobile phone radiation than from tobacco.
But if I had to choose, I would go for the phones.
At least they don't smell and they are actually a tool for dating, not a turn off.
I am one to talk.

Family first

I have spent a week and a half in Manila and I feel nothing but gratitude and happiness.

I am so glad to be able to witness my sister's graduation ceremonies and walk by her side as she ends a chapter in her life and begins a new one.

By doing this I've made two very important points that I hope she will never forget - I love her very much, and obtaining top notch education will take her places.

The day of my sister's graduation was also my mother's birthday.

On her special day and during my entire stay I made sure that I was able to serve her and show her how much I love her.

I cooked, shopped for clothes and waited on her.

I bought her favorite food and accompanied her to the hospital.

These are very small gestures, but these are the things I am capable of doing to make her happy.

My heart is filled with nothing but happiness and love, two things even the meanest, tallest, funkiest pair of shoes cannot replace.

Amen.

Interesting Dinner Date Rule - Very Helpful

5. If you have to use the powder room, just say, "Excuse me please." Or "Will you excuse me for just a moment?" Your date doesn’t need to be told that you’re off to evacuate your bowels.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/rules-for-a-dinner-date-2464185/

There's a lot to learn on the world wide web! Sigh. Thanks Internet!

This little girl from Winnipeg took YouTube by storm and actually got to sing with Lady Gaga on stage. She's Filipino by blood, and I associate myself with her because. Like millions of others back home do.

Crying in my head to Stevie Wonder songs.
Yes it's one of those crazy days.
I made a mistake of finishing all my self-imposed tasks at 4 PM.
Now it's Thursday, and with one foot out the door, I've had to improvise with some - or any - form of entertainment to keep me awake.

The painkillers are (pun intended) big downers and I am scared to close my eyes.
I've reapplied lipstick for the nth time today, so don't suggest that.
I also did some research, stretching and a lot of thinking about what to do with my appearance.
Sometimes I think I look like a monkey.
But just on really really bad days.

this is what i ought to do. now.

Second day staying at home with a lopsided face.

My lumpy cheek is so annoying.

I sometimes think I'm chewing, and then I realize it's only mouth ulcer.

What a gross thing to have, especially on days when I'm all fired up to work.

I am restless but doc won't allow me to go out.

A 90-minute yoga class won't harm me.

It's a detox thing, so why would it.

Unless some old guy farts in my face again.

If my mouth ulcer was flammable that would be the end of the only bikram yoga studio in Dubai.

my wisdom tooth is getting in the way of work.

i woke up yesterday morning and suddenly there was an extra gum flap forming around it.

my dentist calls it pericoronitis.

i call it the nemesis of botox.

it completely dragged my left cheek down.

and inflamed it - hopefully not beyond repair.

today was tiring: i had to pretend i was chewing all the time.

antibiotics, painkillers, topical shiznit, here we go again.

This is the only day of the week I feel like lazing about, but all these unfinished tasks won't allow me to.
I am swamped!
But it's totally okay because this morning I finished all the boring stuff.
Things that needed to be signed, fixed, paid for, ordered and ignored.
Healthy breakfast too.
So anyway I am faced with at least a dozen things I promised to do before the end of the week.
And that is at 7 PM today.
I have a few ideas on how to speed things up:

1. Think: work now, drink later.
2. My work is still so much better than an ass wiper.
3. I would feel awful if I didn't finish my work.
4. My weekend would be spent worrying about unfinished tasks.
5. I am paid to work. Dur. Thursday 10-7 does not belong to me. I am owned by my company and I must compensate them for giving me a chair and a computer.


OR... stop blogging and actually work!

The glass is still half full.
While other friends of mine are embarrassed by ALL their relatives on Facebook by posting either irrelevant, cheesy or unsolicited advise on their walls, only ONE of my relatives does that.
It's annoying, it's equivalent to death in the social media world, BUT there is always the delete button.

What?!

I knew it was going to be awesome but I didn't realize it was going to be such a huge deal.
Plus, he is such a nice guy.

Who pees in a lotion bottle while driving?

That is ridiculous. That is gross and uncivilized and no one should ever reduce a delicately-scented beauty product like that to a portable toilet.
And no one should treat a car seat as a urinal.

Or...

That is awesome.
If there is no nearby toilet and it's the only option left to release those evil toxins, then I'm all for it.
In your face, urinary tract infection.

If your family is prone to renal disease, your reaction would be the latter.

No doubt.

I had an interesting lunch.
Let's see.
A spoonful of peanut butter.
A cup of hot choc'lit.
Some fancy biscuits.
A handful of popcorn.
Spanish olives. They're the best.
Nachos.
Hotdog tidbits.
Lotsa nuts.
A mini sandwich.
Yogurt.
Cheeseseseseses.
There's a big party in my stomach.
Thanks, Gulfood.

No amount of Retinol, moisturizers, affirmation moments and denial can turn back the clock.

People don't say I look 18. No, not anymore.

They either say 22 or 24. Good enough I guess.

But that's only good enough for a few years.

I need a game plan.

I ruled out Botox and unemployment, so this is going to be tough.

Dear random chubby mom,

If you have to explain to a total stranger like me why you took ages inside that cubicle, then you're probably guilty of dropping a bomb in there.

If you walked away with your head held high, I would have respected you.

Too late.

Love,

Zeena

Validation is such a sweet word.
Whether you're getting it from a hotel's concierge to avoid exorbitant parking fees, or a stranger sent by God to give you a compliment just when your self-esteem is plummeting.
This is a good week.

Chek it out, check it out!

I feel like Nicki Minaj minus the slutty rapping and look-at-me-I'm-crazy hair.
I just exchanged six empty MAC containers for a brand new lip color.
Pink Nouveau.
My high school friend wore it at our reunion and I saw a number of cute girls wear it, and I just had to have it.
It is awesome on the lips.
Can't rap to match my lip color yet but working on it!

Another comedy gold discovered by Fifi.

Exciting week! I have not had the chance to have a proper night of sleep.

Ok let's see...

A new kidney for Mama.

Transplant over, bills paid.

She's back home, liking stuff on Facebook and keeping abreast of the whole showbiz scene in Manila.

Fifi and Zeena's visit to the Philippine Labor Office.

We finally got the chance to meet the two distressed maids we were sending home.

We managed to get some of the proceeds of our high school reunion and used it to buy a Dubai-Manila ticket for one of the Pinay housemaids that the labor office are giving shelter to.

And then Lye, Mae, Danters, Fifi and I recently sold old stuff at a flea market, which enabled us to buy another ticket.

So two happy girls going home.

It was truly a day of love.

And of course, pictures with shiny happy athletes at the tennis event.

And another one with Real Madrid's president.

And I lost a little weight.

Icing on the cake.

Miss you Zoe and Agnes!

I told my good friend Chris off for making a harmless comment about my sister's newly established enterprise. It was silly, really.

But I charged it to that time of the month and he was okay with it.

Okay. But it's true.

And that admission flooded the gates of truths that I had carefully hidden in my mind.

That was a nice release from my pointless desire to keep my reality from being discovered.

Sort of like a contrived mystery.

He's worth opening up to, I must say.

Brunch with Fifi

We were like stay-at-home moms who hadn't had time off since Christmas '03.

We dressed up and looked refined.

Took a cab to the hotel with sky-high expectations.

And didn't leave the place until we were numb from all the food, champagne and laughs.

And the massive sprinklers all over the place may have gotten us and our food a little wet, but they didn't succeed in dampening our spirits.

Sorry I'm so dramatic. Sorry to no one in particular.

And no poop jokes at the table, as far as I can remember.

But then again I never remember anything after brunch.

Hard to hate the dude when you know he's got game.

First he puts his junk in a box and gives it to his girl.

Then he acts all stupid on a boat.

And then he poops on his secretary's desk.

He may act like a douche, but it's hard to act like one when you're smart in real life.

That is why Andy Samberg is a genius.

Poor Aimee, her heart was broken by a douche graveyard shifter.
She must feel really bad. She didn't see it coming.
I did. Come on Aimee, give me a hundred push-ups and quit being a wuss.
We're going to celebrate all year round if your jean size drops an inch.
Motivated yet? :)

The latest songs on the radio get me through the day, but the big catch is they are looped in my brain. Possibly forever.

These black guys that sing about getting hoes and partying until they all die are the worst.

They keep me happily bouncing on Emirates Road, but once I reach the office, I can't think of anything else.

And then there are the party chicks like Pink and Katy Perry and Kesha.

They talk about loving forever and drinking until their glasses are empty and blowing up the place for fun. By the time I park I feel like a double gin and tonic.

BUT having said that, I am grateful for their existence.

If it weren't for them I would just be taking life seriously and maybe turn into a prick.

So thank you pop music, thank you pop singers, thank you pop culture for keeping me awake, alive and giving me just enough cheesiness to to keep me sane.

What the f

i live my life and (e)how!

Sometimes when I don't really feel like running my life, I let www.ehow.com do it for me.

Most of the time it does a great job. I can switch my brain off and still function as a human being.

I recommend these search phrases:

Hair color that suits you

How to not look sleepy

How to avoid flatulence

How to feel good

How to get a life

Me, only different

My actions this week have turned me into a completely different person.

Actually, a combination of people I know.

My obsession with chocolates has turned me into Kim Kardashian from the waist down.

Face-wise, I resemble a genetically-modified tomato, thanks to the super strong retinol cream Mama Becky gave me.

And from my neck to my mid-section, I could be either a boobless Sandra Bullock, or Wanda Sykes. Or Justin Bieber. I can't really tell.

My brain is turning into a big pile of nothing, thanks to a visiting friend of mine called insomnia.

I was looking up natural home remedies to simple beauty problems.

There was a site I came across and it was fantastic.

Vinegar to rinse the hair, olive oil to deep-condition it.

Petroleum jelly for the feet, to leave overnight.

Until it suggested that I put Preparation-H under my eyes to reduce the puffiness.

Ok, what's next, bathe in someone's breast milk?

Here's a treat

I cooked twice today.

Sue me fore being such an achiever.

Okay.

This morning I didn't want to wake my friend up, so I sneaked out to buy some ingredients.

An hour later, we were enjoying a fresh batch of vanilla cinnamon french toast and mushrooms sauteed in cayenne pepper.

So we lounged around like retired businessmen, Facebooking and watching The Lonely Island music videos while the drizzle took its time and flooded our neighborhood.

(Poor drainage, poor people.)

Come evening, I still had some energy left, which I spent grocery shopping and doing some magic in the kitchen.

While watching the awesomest Old Testament parody movie ever - Year One, starring Jack Black and Michael Cera - I effortlessly whipped up two to-die-for (there is NO room for modesty here) treats: French onion soup paired with baguette slices drowning in Gruyene nad parmesan cheese, and stir-fried orange beef with cashew nuts.

Cooking brings out the subservient Asian girl in me.

But I don't take comments lightly.

If you say that my culinary creation needs a bit more salt or reminds you of another dish, get ready to hear from a tiger (also from Asia).

I guess my defensiveness in the kitchen stems from the fact that I spent most of my womanhood trying to avoid cooking because I didn't want to disappoint myself or the people who would partake in my meals, and now, finally I am crawling out of my cave called Kitchiphobia (yes, I made that up, dork), so no one rain on my parade.

And I made it a point to tell everyone how I feel every single time I put on my imaginary apron.

And until now, not a single friend of mine has had anything bad to say about my salmon in grapefruit sauce, or my honey ginger chicken.

Go figure.

"you have to have a past colorful enough to look back at when you finally settle down" - Kat Canillas

pwede pwede!

I welcome today's good news.
A healthy kidney for Mama.
A profession of admiration.
A new song to hum to.
A renewed faith in the form of a big fat smile to the heavens.
Amen!

Feeling Gooood

	Unknown Artist - coco rosie/good friday .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Complete Womanhood

Last year I had my fill of sumptuous meals, thanks to people like Ladybug, Galo, Jen, Mhykie, and everyone else who cooked for me.
I enjoyed taking a whiff of an elaborate dish being prepared by a good friend, and looking over their shoulder to estimate the time left til eating time.
Being handed a plate and cutlery was like being told "you deserve my time and efforts, so here ya go, chew away".

Not this year.
This year I am going to return the favor. Wink.
Why? I love my friends and I want them to see me not as a mere parasite who eats off their kitchen, but someone who is actually capable of creating something beautiful that will nourish them and fill their stomachs and souls. I made that up just now thank you very much.

Also I realized that even though I have two ovaries and hundreds (if not thousands) of eggs, I wouldn't 100 per cent feel like a real woman if I didn't know how to cook. God knows how many envious stares I gave my friends last year for knowing what coriander or a sherry looked like, and also knowing what to do with them. I wanted to quickly learn, but there's no such thing. We learn everything in this life. So I needed to start fast. I promised to start fast. (If you are a feminist and ready to kill me, well boo ya! This is how I feel and feelings are never wrong.)

So I started cooking.
A two-course meal for two very understanding guests - Fifi and Dante.
I made Beautiful Salad - spinach leaves, mandarin oranges, dried strawberries, walnuts and honey, balsamic vinegar.
And for the main course, I made Salmon Steak in Grapefruit Sauce. Good for the heart and not at all bad for the wallet.

Because I got good reviews for that Friday lunch, I volunteered to do another one next weekend. So I guess it's another successful venture for me. And it might delight you to know that my cooking skills are now happily sitting next to my eggs on a bench called "complete womanhood".

Dear body,

Please stop expanding. It's not funny!

Love,

Zeena

Dear 23-year-old self,

Thank you.

For being stupidly impulsive and nodding yourself all the way to a big dump of trouble.
Because of your sick decision to sell out to the world.
I could not have done what you did. You're the bravest 23-year-old I know.
You have so many plans and some of them seem unattainable, but you'd rather be delusional than be convinced that something you want to happen is impossible.
A gigantic suitcase and a friend with an even more gigantic heart are with you, and they are all you need to survive.
You don't pity yourself and mourn your plight, but laugh at the kind of adventure you put yourself through.
I won't try to belittle what you have done for me by giving you a high-five or a tight hug.
I will try to relive you, my 23-year-old self.
It's the only way I can ever experience what you have, to may homage.
Bonus: your friends are here! They followed suit to pursue their own goals.
So you are awesome. And if you say I am too, I will be on my way to make it happen again.

Love,
Zeena

After a month-long holiday that kept me in the company of my family and friends and kept me busy with all kinds of gigs -- from taking care of Agnes our dog, to a pa-morningan at the karaoke bar, to a trip to the beach with my dearest friends -- and eating non-stop just because food was always available, I am here again on my belly in my Dubai bed that I share with Fifi, waiting for time to pass until it's time to shower and get ready to go to work, playing viral videos on YouTube to kill the possibility of total silence.

That is all I have to say. Happy 2011!

Ok I've just come home from my ten-year high school reunion.
Well, for starters, everyone was late, including yours truly.
I had agreed to host it with Nikko, almost chickened out, but it took two gin and tonics to get my ass off my chair and host the crap out of that party.
It was good actually. There were over 50 people, a handful of whom brought their boyfriends.
So Jasmine Mendiola started the whole thing by reading out our yearbook's "prophecy page", which said that I was going to become a senator. Not quite going down that road, but good to know someone even thought of that.
Nikko and I made up award categories so we could give recognition to some of our batchmates.
Not bad. We gave out more than 15 awards, I think.
I am especially proud of the "Fetal Attraction" award that was given to Jovinne dela Fuente.
I totally made that up when I was under the influence, so here's a curtsy.
She was the only pregnant one in our batch so I guess we tailor made the whole category for her.
We gave an award to Laksmi Masbad. We called it the Laksmi Masbad.
How cool was that? She received an award just because she's Laksmi.
And then we had a game, called Pass the Balloon. It was all right.
Caught up with Katrina Montejo and a bunch of other girls, and I am so happy to have had that chance to chat with them and hear about their lives.
I miss high school. I really do.
Pics soon!

Back in Manila 2010

Yes, I am home and I love it!

I've missed the environment at home.
Nothing changed so far.
I still try to put on jeans that will never fit me, and then I bitch about how my hips are too big.
Zoe does the same thing, and we both know where we got them from - both the bitching and the hips.

Speaking of Mama, she has been awesome trying to be patient with all of us.
She's usually super annoyed at every single thing I do, but lately she laughs at stuff she would normally roll eyes at.
That means we're closer than ever as a family.

Zoe has a password for everything - her phone, her computer, her iPod Touch and her cel.
I am guessing her brain has one too, because as at 15 she can completely dodge any awkward question about her boyfriend, her developing body and her being not to keen to go to school with good humor. That is sheer talent waiting to be discovered, my friend.

As for me, I have started eating in a manner that I am not pleased with.
But Mama's carbonara, steak, veggies etcetera are divine and I cannot not have them.

One thing I love about this freaking city?
The drinks cost next to nothing.
If you're rich and unhappy here, you can definitely afford to become an alcoholic.
In posh places too.
Let's see. My drink, gin and tonic, averages at Php 120. That's 10 dirhams. Or A little over $2.

But must try to look for places where I can experience good music and even better company.
Where are the rock bands?
Where are the show bands?
Where is the super hip crowd dancing to the chart topping meaningless dance songs?
Last evening Aimee and I dance to Dying Inside at Katips, and today Mama was listening to Basha in the car.
Must make that my mission - discover the best of Pinoy music before I head back to the desert - second to weight loss.

I just learned that this sexy little man is half-Pinoy. Fallen in love yet?

Hard sell not necessary. You had me at "No oily stools".

When I was 22 I had all the time in the world. I would go home at 3 AM because I didn't want my evening with friends to end.
Today we are all over the world.
My friend Charm lives in Canada, Nomer is based in Australia, Izza flies for Kuwait Airways and so on and so forth.
We are all flying to Manila for the holidays and I promised to hang out with them for as long as time permits.
For as long as time permits?
Whatever happened to not caring about time?
It didn't matter that we had nothing in our pockets except a few bills and some cigarettes, because we could be together for days on end and we could tough it out together.
Today is very very different.
Nomer is asking for five hours of my time on December 22, because he wanted to catch up and have a serious conversation about life outside the Philippines.
Okay where the hell did that come from?
We were just nicking lattes at Starbucks Cubao eight years ago.
I have a month to see everyone and reconnect with them.
I want each and every meeting to be meaningful and long and fun and climactic.
We can't afford to just chill out and not do a thing.
If we're together, we have to do something.
That is weird.

Geez my sister is all grown-up at 15.
Her Facebook status says "Get out of my face hoeee."
She knows a hoe personally, and hates the biatch too.
If she's met a hoe then she's definitely in the real world.
Or in Kanye West's circle.
Either way, I think nowadays that's a sign that you're normal at 15.

Fifi and I are seriously thinking of moving to another area. Where people don't fart in the lifts!
Yesterday as we were walking towards our building from the parking lot, we were talking about how great our weekend had been and how we couldn't wait to just retire to bed watching the American Music Awards.
We entered the building and patiently waited for the lift. Thirty seconds later a poker-faced man casually strutted out. Well he farted so he had no business looking like there was nothing wrong.
We stay in the lift for at least ten seconds all the time. Please don't fart in the lift. Please don't.
You will forever be remembered as a pig.
And we will die of the smell.

A Kickass Day in Kathmandu

I've been working here in the Gulf for nearly five years, and have interviewed a number of prominent figures. Sheikhs, Bollywood super star Shah Rukh Kahn, actress Mandy Moore, English cricket star Freddi Flintoff and so on and so forth. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine meeting the Arabian Warren Buffett, the 19th richest person in the world, and one of the catalysts of change among women's role in Saudi Arabia. It's Prince Al Waleed bin Talal, chairman of Kingdom Holding.


So Danters and I were taking pictures in Kathmandu. Our first day in Nepal and we were already climbing over a hundred steps to see one of the capital's temples. And then there was a small crowd, and I checked out what was going on. There he was, casually waving at everyone, with minimal security surrounding him. I simply walked up to him and asked if we could take a picture together, and his short reply, "Sure," led to this:


People who are aware of the magnitude of his success and the amount of influence he has in the world that I was super lucky to have met him and taken a picture with him. Am I? Well...
I have mixed emotions. I feel extremely fortunate, but I also feel like it's just how I roll. So I am semi-modest and semi-super confident. Maybe that's why the prince and I get along? I don't know, you be the judge!

Pretty Ladies On My List

I have always liked the following Hollywood stars, but these pictures of them are exceptionally mind-blowing. What they're wearing nailed it. Also they're funny. Funny is always sexy, don't you ever forget that.

Jessica Alba, just one of those occasions

Eva Mendes in "The Other Guys", where she plays the wife of the character of Will Ferrell, a douche cop.

Sarah Silverman, one of my favorite comics in the universe.

Ellen, your speech made me cry.

My 2010 List

Oh well. End of the year.
How do you gauge if your year has been successful?
I always have a list every time I change calendars.
And the list is carefully crafted - not too easy so that I may not falsely overachieve, and not too hard that I just end up frustrated and unhappy.

Last year most of the things on my list were checked.
There were some things I was not able to do because I was holding out.
I didn't know what I was waiting for, and I didn't know what I was so afraid of.

This year I'm going all out, because this is not the year to hold out.
Because this is not the year to regret.
It started out great - Fifi and I moved together, I got a new job, I cut down on smoking, reconnected with friends, and had a relationship with a good man.
I'm not about to end it with a long face.
Or a fat one.

So what are the last few items on the list?

Travel, travel, travel.
Go places I've never seen before.
I've saved enough to pursue my short-term dreams on a whim, and more.
By the end of the year I will have traveled to five places, each with its own charm and an overwhelming sense of distance from everything that burdened me.

Get physical!
Walk, run, swim, fly, fall. That is the way to get fit. And with my itinerary for the last two months of the year, it looks like I will be doing all those things.

Brainstorm investment options.
I will no doubt spend my money in the Philippines.
But I need to look at a few things - is it going to be property, agriculture, food, apparel, a love shack? Kidding about the last one.
But yeah I need a concrete plan and maybe a trustworthy business partner who's smarter than me.

So far that's it. I don't have a lot of goals left, because I have achieved most of them, thanks to the infinite power of the Lord and my own awesomeness.

Can't wait to make my 2011 list.

Life's reflexes

When one part of my life is in shambles, another part starts to magically improve.
Thanks to life's reflexes, the good cancels out the bad.
The two are not similar in nature - a loss is still a loss, and a gain in another area of my life doesn't mean the other void is filled.
Nevertheless, I cannot complain.
I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, but a phone call changed it all.
I skipped to work today (well, from the parking lot to the entrance of the building) and involuntarily smile whenever I think about my good fortune.
Just when I needed the world to prove me wrong, it showed off its powers and left me happily scratching my head. Bow.

ABS CBN's New Station ID for Christmas 2010

My Take on Destressing

Brides Magazine published a list called "16 Surefire Ways to Destress". I thought it was a lameass page filler, because I would never blow bubbles to pacify myself, nor would I organize my sock drawer when I'm upset. Check it out:

1. Organize your sock drawer
2. Blow bubbles
3. Check things off a list
4. Give yourself a pedicure
5. Dance like crazy in your living room
6. Count backward from 100
7. Head out for a hike
8. Inhale a calming scent, like lavender
9. Try out a new, complicated recipe
10. Go for a drive with the windows open
11. Scream into a pillow
12. Pet a cat or dog
13. Chew gum
14. Kickbox
15. Buy a new lipstick
16. Try on your dress!

I kind of have my own version, and it's more realistic, because these are the things that people I know actually do, and they seem to work. Plus, it's a must shorter list.

1. Curse. Sometimes I like cussing under my breath or in the car when I'm alone. Especially when it's loud and there's a particular person I'm cussing. And just now as I was Googling, I found out that my favorite destressing technique is actually backed by a legit study. Chekirawt:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/norfolk/7047536.stm

2. Get away. Whether it's out of the house, out of town or out of the country, a new environment always works. I prefer going back home to the Philippines, or somewhere nice and exotic (last year I had an awesome ten-day holiday in Kenya), or if I'm on a budget I go out of town with my friends. Our latest in-country "ekskarshon" was to Khorfakkan in Fujairah.

3. Pray. Whether it's reciting the Rosary or talking to God silently in the church, praying is a very effective stress-reliever for me. I usually thank God for all the blessings He's been giving me, apologize for not meeting His expectations, and ask for His help with my personal problems and the concerns of those who are dear to me.

4. Watch a funny video. I don't remember how many times a funny movie or YouTube video has saved me from killing myself. Or stress - more accurate. When I've had a long day at work and I don't have the energy to go out and meet up with friends or talk to them on the phone, a slapstick comedy or a short stand up clip always does the trick. Fifi and I were obsessed with Nacho Libre for a time. "Encarnacioooooon..." These days I'm hooked on Sarah Silverman's YouTube gags.

5. Talk. Just talk. If some people are really driving you crazy, talk about them. I do in the car on the way home from work. Alone. I usually do a Q&A with myself. Like I would ask myself "What makes (insert name) a douche?" and then I would answer, "Well, for starters, her breath stinks but she still talks like her words make the world go round."

6. Drive aimlessly. Works in this part of the world, where petrol is cheaper and traffic is bearable. I usually drive around and call people up, and if they're up to something that's interesting enough to make me get out of the car, I join them. Or I go to the mall and window-shop and eat ice cream.

7. Vino. Need I say more? If you'r all grown up and have bills to pay and a future to plan and you just want to take time off and clear your head until you are ready to carry on again, counting backward from 100 doesn't compare to a nice glass of wine. And quite frankly seems utterly useless. Booya.

Latest pics of my cousin Olivia! :)

I have been so anxious and it could be because of a number of things, like not enough sleep, too much excitement as my vacation nears, or too much caffeine.
But I really want to just get rid of this feeling.
I'm always to nervous.
The feeling is very similar to guilt, repression and paranoia.
I really would like to get to the bottom of this but I don't know where to start.
I'm usually chill and dismiss any kind of negative vibes, but this one has been drilling my brain.
Let me see if Google can help me.

A vacation within a vacation

I hit the jackpot today when I found Jobee online and idle.
She is the only good friend of mine who doesn't have a proper day job and can join me on a three-day backpacking trip in the place of our choice in the Philippines.
So we are leaving Manila for a few days and going somewhere beautiful.
She likes Batanes, and I'm torn between Bohol and Coron.
Bohol, because I want - and NEED - to see a live tarsier.
All my life I've been calling big-eyed people tarsiers, and yet I have never seen a live one. I need to hold one in my hands to make my next tarsier comment legit.
Also I've seen dozens of people on FB posing on top of one of the Chocolate Hills. They look so happy, like Maria in the Sound of Music. Maybe being there gives one that feeling. I want to see for myself.And Coron, because it is just amazing in the pictures. I've met countless of people in Dubai telling me how wonderful Coron is, and how it's a crime that I haven't been there, given that I am Filipino. I don't want to be a criminal here, so I'm seriously considering it.
Batanes... Jobee has a point. I was told that it is one of the most beautiful places in the Philippines, so yeah we might give that a try.
Suddenly I am itching to travel within the confines of our archipelago. Five years ago I totally ignored my motherland in an attempt to "see the world". To date I've been to a few countries and I'm happy to have travelled and pushed myself out of my comfort zone, but now I have this insatiable desire to just hop on a plane and fly to any of our 7,000 islands to see what I've been missing.

I'm sure it will not be an easy trip. We're not about luxury. We're about pooping in the mountains and peeling worms off trees and dipping them in vinegar. I'm sure there will be bad roads and power outages and pickpocketing incidents, but all of them will be cancelled out by friendly smiles, invitations to home-cooked dinner and huge discounts.

I'm going to tell you why this trip is so important to us.
Jobee used to be an anti-social who stayed in her room for two years, throwing tantrums and undergoing medication and just shutting herself from the world.
I take pride in telling everyone that I was one of the people who convinced her to sing in front of an audience during a noontime karaoke session when we played hooky at work.
And me? I just miss home so much, and I think it deserves the same level of enthusiasm I had when I was exploring Kenya, the same wide-eyed look I had when I saw the Taj Mahal, and the same energy I possessed when I walked around Bangkok.

Also the pictures. I will make Jobee take my pictures until her hands fall off and she goes blind.

This is the ultimate fear story. It spooks me more than anything because it seems closer to home than ghosts or aliens. They explain it in such a way that it will naturally happen, and there is nothing we can do about it but attempt to run for cover.

And as usual, as implied here, the rich can easily survive to the tune of $50,000. I have goosebumps.

It's going to be a great week

Last week was rough. Not enough sleep, ruffled some feathers and felt undeserving of resentment from some people.

This week however, is going swimmingly. I rediscovered my Twitter account and have been Tweeting endlessly and following random people. Receiving emails and texts from the boyfriend - such a responsible and sweet thing to do. I didn't even have to remind him :)

I was able to spend quality time with friends. Last Friday I was with the girls and we went out and we danced a little bit and a had a row with the waiters over the bill. Also spent time with Maers, who is currently getting over someone. Someone ugly. Dumb too.

We worked out, but we canceled out our fitness efforts with a couple of stupid food choices - jogging, KFC, swimming, ice cream. But yeah I plan to go healthy again today, Sunday, by walking around during my break and serving myself the healthiest meals. That's really key to a happy heart and an even happier digestive system.

So yeah this week is going to be great, work-wise and bowel movement-wise.

My cousin Olivia is the cutest!