Efren for CNN Hero of the Year

I watched this video on CNN after reading a forwarded email from a colleague, urging us to vote for a man named Efren Penaflorida. Here's what the mail said:

Each year, CNN gives $100,000 to the winner (from a field of ten finalists---winnowed from 9,000 nominees from all over the world) of its "Hero of the Year" award. This year, a 28-year-old Filipino, Efren Peñaflorida, made it to the top ten. (A panel of 12 well-known personalities from various fields picked the finalists. Colin Powell was among the judges this year). If Efren wins this year's award (based on how many votes he gets, which will depend on us), he will be able to expand his mobile school program for the children of the slums in the Philippines. What this young man is doing to improve the lives of the kids in the slums is truly inspiring.

Please vote for Efren. You can vote as many time as you want on this link:
http://edition.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/03/05/heroes.efren.penaflorida/index.html

Suppose he wins and uses the funds to expand his organization, making him able to transform the lives of more gang members and soften the hearts of hardened criminals throug hthe power of unconventional education. That means one less mugger in the back alleys, one less rapist at the bus stop, and one less person off the streets.

It's a win-win situation. You have until November 19.

One step forward, one step back
Always gray, never white or black
Locked inside, can't unpack
Driving down a dead-end track

Every toast and sip is poison
Concocted with deadly passion
Filled with doubt, devoid of reason
Suffering from loss of vision

Eleven minutes, seven years
More time to stretch your fears
More excuses in my ears
Stabbing me with dull shears

UP Quirks and Perks

My university is home to intellectuals, stoics, artists, athletes, athlete's foot, atheists, nerds, promdis and every other Pinoy stereotype you can possibly imagine.

More often than not we agree to disagree, whether it's a debate on gender issues or political correctness, but there are things that bind us, and making us perfect examples of the "unity amidst diversity" BS.

And these things do not exactly hold meaning to anything. They're just fun.

MANG LARRY'S ISAW

Chicken intestines may spell Hepatitis for the gastronomically sensitive, but for Isko and Iska, they are a palatable treat in between classes. Mang Larry has been around for ages and he managed to construct a small stall in the middle of an empty lot of land near Kalayaan Dorm and the Shopping Center. I hope it's still two pesos a piece.

LANTERN PARADE

Every year right before the Christmas holidays, every college goes out to the Academic Oval to showcase its artistic talents. Of course the fine arts people are always under the spotlight. But engineering and communication students don't do badly at all, most of the time.

OBLATION RUN

A well-known fraternity in our university hosts the Oblation Run. A group of frat neophites run around the campus naked for a cause. It could be freedom of speech this year, and a cry for increased government subsidy in the next. Whatever it is, the gays get the most fun, following the birds around to get a glimpse of you-know what. Not once did we see a shaven haven, FYI.

Anyone hungry? Try More Than A Billion.

The UN has said that global food shortage is worsening. A sixth of the world's population are possibly on their way to death as we speak. No shit.
I was saddened but not surprised by the fact that Asia and the Pacific has the largest number of hungry people - 642 million.
The possibility that an acquaintance or a distant relative of mine sits in a shack in a remote area in the Philippines, waiting for judgment day as their stomachs cry for nourishment, is chilling.
The numbers translate to reality, and the reality is scaring me.

Half the word away, things are plastic-fantastic.
Every table of every restaurant shamelessly displays half-eaten sandwiches and untouched salads.
In our own pantry, rice is spilled on the floor as if it were the last thing the world needs.
At my place, panic-bought fruits rot away in the fridge as I calmly smoke cigarette after cigarette on the balcony, my mind flying from mundane thoughts to matters of the heart, and back.

Though I am facing a lot of challenges in my life lately, I must consider myself lucky to be in a situation that does not require food aid. I can eat whenever I want, stay healthy and be sure that I will not die of starvation.

So now that world hunger has just been added to the list of my concerns in life, I have the moral obligation to help. And despite my meager savings and lowly status in this world, I am more than capable of reaching out to those in need. And I will.

Wyson and Cookie

Wys and Cux finally replied to me! I've always been in touch with Nikko, Charm and Terri through emails and Facebook, but Wys and Cux suddenly disappeared from the face of the earth. And they're back! I'm so happy! I love them!
We're usually the ones to plan nights out and road trips and karaoke sessions.

Cux sent us a loooong email about how her house was submerged in Ondoy waters... Provident was one of the badly flooded subdivisions in Marikina and I had been wondered how Cux was holding up. It turned out she is fine. She just wanted to be alone and not to leave home, traumatized by Ondoy. She saved her new drum set and she wants to come over to Wys' place with the rest of our friends (we call 'em gigolos, long story), and jam and drink the night away.

Wyson is alive too. She has been on duty at PGH and is seriously craving sleep. She's usually lazy to answer emails but I'm glad she visited my blog and left a comment.

So I hope we will continue our correspondence until I am finally with them in December, and I hope we'll go on a really long road trip and forget that I am just there for a weeks, Wys is now a doctor on call 24/7, and Cux ever had an "I wanna be alone" moment.

Finally, Final?

The word "final" has assumed a whole new different meaning to me just recently.
We've used and abused it, but we have never really gotten anywhere close to it.
Usually when things are final, they are never to be altered again and more often than not, they are put aside because there is nothing else we can do about them.
But I have been using that word for the past couple of weeks, and so is he, but we never get around to finalizing anything.
Hopefully things will be clear soon and "final" will be synonymous to "happy ending" and not as in "final destination".

Cyndi Lauper - Until You Come Back to Me (That's What I'm Gonna Do)

I bet this is Mama Becky's favorite version of this song.

10 Things I Love About My Weekend

1. Authentic Mexican food, and authentic Mexican music to match.
2. A present in the form of a flower made out of paper napkin.
3. Karaoke and bullfrogs.
4. Sleep.
5. An evening at Aquaventure with Ethel, Dacky, Sherry and Janice.
6. A shocking documentary on the porn industry - Lolo Ferrari, Sharon Mitchell, amateurs, wannabes and sleazebags
7. My new dress reconstructed by Janice.
8. Fiber boost.
9. Hibernation.
10. Several calls from Mama Becky and Zoe. They were affected by the power cuts in Manila due to the typhoons, but I think it's not so bad. They chilled in the mall and laughed at Zoe's ramblings about her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend.

I started taking this fiber supplement over the weekend and it's proving to be very effective.
But thou shall not take it before going on a date or attending an important function.

One of its side effects is severe flatulence.

Pepeng (Parma) Causes Landslide in the Phillipines: Kills 122

"Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich." – Sarah Bernhardt

Y Tu Mamá También - Julio and Tenoch Fight [Eng Sub]

This has got to be the funniest bit in the movie Y Tu Mama Tambien (And Your Mother Too), a film by Mexican Alfonso Cuaron. It's essentially a teen flick, but with underlying themes that affect anyone who has gone through young adulthood (me, you, them), when insecurities make get in the way with logic. Which I think is funny. Most colorful years of my life so far.

Things In My Head

Ters and Cris attended a family planning seminar at Quezon City Hall.
Apparently if a couple wants to get married in the Philippines, they have to attend a series of seminars and shit.
Ters said Cris was traumatized by the whole lecture.
The guy was actually telling them when and when not to have sex.
He thought he could just dictate when Cris can impregnate Ters.
That was funny.
I don't think I want to attend that kind of seminar, but if the wedding had to be held in the Philippines, I really have no choice but to sit through the whole thing.

I am finally getting around to doing what I've always wanted to do.
Basketball.
I was very hesitant before because I didn't know if the sweaty Pinoy posse would welcome me to their team.
I'm playing against one person this time, so no pressure.
Plus I don't think we'll be keeping score.
I would just work on my jump shots and lay-ups.
I can't do anything about my height but I can certainly use my width to block the opponent.

And last but not the least, I went to an event and wanted to use the toilet.
The bowl was filled with poop. Solid brown things all camping out in the water.
Floaters and sinkers.
Yuck.
So yeah I had to hold my pee until nearest Adnoc.

It's going to be a great weekend!

'Album Release' and JimmyDShea Update Blog

I received a message on Facebook from the Jimmy D'Shea page. His superiors in the marine have been watching his YouTube videos and offered him a job in the Public Relations department. He gets to up his rank, and a $20,000 bonus. The US Marines turned out to be easier to please than I thought.

It's a freaky ride
To the wild side
Like a flat tire
Screaming ire

It's a ninja kick
Or a camera trick
Take your pick
In an action flick

It's a big mess
Anti-happiness
Little black dress
Put to the test

It's a hazy phase
Like an endless maze
Or a slice of cake
Ganja-laced

Walk for A Cause for Ondoy Victims

Walk on Friday for Ondoy victims organized by the Philippine BusinessCouncil below:
(Please feel free to re-post and forward to your friends' list, the more the better =) )

What: Walk for a cause for the victims of Ondoy

Where: Inside Safa Park, Gate 5

When: Friday, 9th October 2009 (7AM to 11AM)

REMEMBER:-The walk will be held inside Safa Park
- not in the usual walking path outside the park.
- No pets will be allowed
- All donations will be on cash basis only
- No donations in kind will be accepted during this event
- All donations will be in denominations of Dhs50/- i.e., Dhs 50/
- will get one ticket and one free t-shirt, Dhs.150/
- will get 3 tickets and 3 t-shirts (free t-shirts will be subject to availability on first come first serve basis)
- Please bring exact amount as no change will be available at site
- All participants are requested to come in decent casual or sports attire
- Please keep all rubbish in the trash cans around the park. Let us keep Safa Park clean
- Warm up exercises will be available near the starting line every 15 minutes
- Groups of more than 10 persons should register as one group.

Please call Ms Eden Borja on 055-3676256 for group pre-registration

- For all other enquiries please call Neli on telephone 04-3408381

Bare Necessities

1. Enough sleep
2. Peace of mind
3. Ample hydration
4. Good skin
5. Neat hair
6. Clean clothes
7. Healthy food
8. Music
9. Workout
10. Self-love

The Piggy Bank. Bow.

I've been reading articles by "financial bloggers" and I am overwhelmed by all that money jargon. I only wanted tips on how to save money. Best money-saving tip I got from all of them? Three words:

KEEP IT SIMPLE.

Keep it simple.

Keep it simple.

It's a sentence worth repeating and a tip worth following.

If you are an average earner, live an average life.

If you are single or a couple, a one-bedroom apartment gives you enough space.

You can splurge on a nice pair of shoes as long as you still have money to spend on basic stuff like food and bills until next pay day.

If you feel that your funds are just enough for you to get by until the end of the month, resist the urge to dine out in a fancy restaurant until cash flows in again.

But more often than not, we simply forget how simple it is to keep things simple.

And then come debts, poverty, financial wars and other evils that root from money.

Also make sure that you keep a little cash aside every day.

PIGGY BANKS RULE.

I keep a bank account because I need one and banks these days are offering services that make my life easier, but if I had to choose, it would be the old-school way of saving.

The piggy bank is more inspiring and cute compared to a bank account.

You actually see (or weigh in your hands) how much you are saving.

It gives you a sense of responsibility.

This is my life, this is my money, and I am going to use it for my future.

So ultimately, it's not all about the Benjamins.

It's really about taking control of your life and making sure that you are doing something about your future, be it short, mid or long term.

My Vodka bottle (AKA piggy bank) is almost filled with fivers and I can't wait to smash it with a hammer.

Eat Your Way to Better Skin With 7 Surprising Antiaging Foods Beauty: glamour.com

It's been a very tiring week and I really want to recover from those bad face days. So I searched the world (wide web) for some tips to get myself back together. My goal is to feel fabulous before the end of the week, whatever happens.

And I believe that eating right is a big chunk of that plan. So here, I want to share it with you guys, because it's so easy to get these foods. It's just a matter of throwing away that bag of chips (or you can puke out the chips if you've just eaten them), and heading to the supermarket to purchase the following:

Eat Your Way to Better Skin With 7 Surprising Antiaging Foods Beauty: glamour.com

Shared via AddThis

My favorite quotes from Flight of the Conchords

Eugene the Landlord: I'm going to give you a month to pay me
Bret: Can we pick which month?

Eugene the Landlord: No

Murray: How do you think you get to be "sold out." It's the small venues. It's a trick. It's an old trick.

Bret: Jemaine, I don't think we're going to get sex and get paid.

Jemaine: Why not?

Bret: 'Cause we never get sex or get paid.

Murray: I'm so angry, I feel like swearing.

Bret: Oh, Murray, you wouldn't swear at us.

Murray: Go f**k yourself Bret!

Mel: Does... does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? A bit?

Murray: A little bit. 'Round the eyes.

Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes, huh

Murray: Well she's... she's got eyes.

Bret: What happened with the gig at the aquarium?

Murray: It was kind of a misunderstanding. Um, there was a typo in the ad. It was 'Sand' they wanted. Sand. You know the wavy font, it looks like a 'B' but it was an 'S'. But I sent the demo. The good new is that they liked it, they might play it in the lobby.

Jemaine: Yeah, well, that's positive

I like my job.
The other week I was all set to wear my poncho, and last evening I was itching to fit into a snug and shiny sari.
Also I've been getting messages from viewers saying they like my work, and keep it up.
It gives me a tingly feeling.
Nothing similar to peeing.
Just a nice feeling that makes me sigh and stare into the sky.
The question is, does my job like me?
There are times when I look like a piece of shit on camera, but I would like to think that more often than not I come across as a serious journalist.

The chances are getting slimmer
And so am I
The air is getting colder
And so am I
The winds are getting stronger
And so am I
The mornings are more pleasant
And so am I
The evening lights are brighter
And so am I
The way things are is perfect
And even thouh I'm not, I'm still going to try to be
The shit has already hit the fan
And no, I don't want to hit the fan
I don't even have a fan
Just the centralized A/C that sometimes fails us

Trash Talking

It's been ages since I took out the trash.
Sorry Ethel.
I hate taking out the trash.
I hate trash.
I try not to produce too much trash.
But I get a high out of getting rid of trash.
The moment I take that Spinneys bag out of the trash can and bring it downstairs.
I'm finally getting rid of something I don't need.
I don't need trash in my life.
I'ts good to feel clean and fresh again.
And that brings us back to why I scrub all the time.
But I don't want no scrubs.
Same for people.
If you say something and do the exact opposite, then that means your word has no value.
And the words you say and the things you do reflect your personality.
And if your word has no value at all, then your word can be compared to trash.
It means nothing.
It's not needed.
And therefore it should be chucked out the window.
If you say something, honor it.
Then deliver.
Especially if you were given the benefit of the doubt,
The benefit of the doubt is tantamount to a second chance.
Second, third, fourth.
Take those chances for granted, and people will realize that you're just talking shit.
And when they get fed up, you go straight to the recycling bin.
Or just in a dumpster.
Welcome to Payatas.

An acquaintance appeared from nowhere and said he would like to guide me.
Towards what?
I don't even know what I want.
Ultimately, I want to be happy. Ok so that's vague.
So what do I do now?
He's into numerology among other things and I wonder if his numbers could really add up to bliss.
It's hard to tell, but what the heck, it's worth a try.
I'm still confused as to what kind of help he offered.
At least the mojito and decaf were good.

Finally.
I tracked down the guy who sold me my sim card.
He agreed to transfer the ownership to my name.
It's been over three years.
I remember The Devil. Yes he wore Prada.
But I love my number and wouldn't give it up for the world.
So yes I am swallowing my pride and paying 50 dirhams for something I already own.
Technically.

"It is good to act as if. It is even better to grow to the point where it is no longer an act." – Charles Caleb Colton

Things to look forward to this week:

1. I just bought a basketball and I can't wait to shoot some hoops!
2. Yoga. The type of yoga Chris mentioned. Can't spell it. Lol.
3. Jogging and swimming. The usual workout.
4. My big trip. I need a short break and decided to travel alone. The guest house gave me a good deal and I am grabbing it. By hook or by crook.
5. Some of the people who owe me money will be paying me back. Hopefully.
6. Talking to my friends on the phone. I did mention the Etisalat promotion before, right? I already talked to Wyson on the phone. She was sleeping. Post duty at the PGH. She's going to be a proper doctor in January! Shame she can't be part of Team Honeymoon.
7. My mom's pasalubong. It's just a bunch of beauty products. Nothing beats kikay stuff at times like these.
8. Wearing my new clothes. The shopping spree with Momzi and Janice was awesome. I got seven items for less than a hundred bucks. I am wearing the PJ's now. They're so comfy. Better than sleeping in the nude.
9. Facial with Roy. As if he'd show up.
10. A massage at the Thai place. Guillaume and Emannuel's. Their massage parlor is the talk of the town. Everyone knows about it, even my boss. I think he's going this week. I hope I don't bump into him.
11. Maybe another haircut? My hair's a mess.
12. Flipping the bird. I gave the finger to a minibus driver last week for honking so much. I drove away before he could see my registration number. But yeah it gave me a high and I want to do it again.

This is probably one of the moments in my life that I should take pride in.
It was one of the best things I have done and I hope that I will stick to it.
When I finally thought it through and got everyone to believe me, suddenly a thousand opportunities started flooding through the front door.
It's a nice feeling, when you have accomplished something on your own.
And with the support of the people who truly care for you.
Plus it's going to be family week this week, because Etisalat has reduced calls to the Philippines by more than half until October 8, to show their sympathy for the victims of Typhoon Ondoy.
It's also going to be Roy's week. He's convinced he could be one of the Backstreet Boys if he really worked on his dance moves.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/09/typhoon_ketsana_ondoy.html

Mae sent this link.... devastating.
My prayers and love go out to everyone back home.

Sa panahon ngayon, kailangan na tayong maging maingat.
Hindi lahat ng mukhang maganda ay maganda sa totoong buhay.
Kailangan ng oras para busisiin nang maigi ang isang bagay bago makapagdesisyon kung ito ay nararapat na gawin parte ng iyong buhay.
Hindi porque masaya ka ngayon ay magiging masaya ka habang buhay sa iyong desisyon.
Kaya kailangan palipasin ang panahon para malaman kung tiyak na makabubuti ito sa iyo.
Pero iyon ang isa sa mga bagay na malimit tayo magkaroon - panahon.
Maging ako, lagi kong sinasabi, "Hay nako, wala akong panahon para dyan."
Sa isip ko, tumatanda na ako at umiikot ang mga kamay sa orasan, at wala na akong panahon para pag isipan ang lahat ng ginagawa ko.
Mali iyon, alam ko.
Pero bakit pabugso bugso akong tumalon sa mga bagay na hindi pamilyar sa akin?
Hindi ba ito senyales ng pagiging batang isip?
Ikaw nga ng Agaw Agimat, sa karanasan daw ako ay hilaw pa.
Pero bente syete na ako.
Syet. Bente syete.
Paano ako nakarating dito nang hindi ko alam ang mga pinaggagagawa ko?
Kailangan ko ng konti pang panahon para pag isipan ito.
Malamang maiinip na naman ako at ang magiging desisyon ko, "wala akong panahon dyan!"

Season 2 of Flight of the Conchords.
It's super funny, except that I'm starting to feel sorry for Mel.

No fan should ever be treated that way, even though she looks like a sex-starved nerdfreak.

If I had a fan, I would treat them nicely and devote time for them.

If I didn't have a fan, well that means I suck at what I do.

I know why Southeast Asians were made to be the friendliest and happiest people on the planet.
They need to be resilient in times of disaster.
Our part of the world has been beaten black and blue lately.
Whether it's a volcanic eruption, a flashfood, a tsunami, an earthquake, a deadly epidemic, or the conniving team of Caucasians.
But they should really learn to "flip the bird" sometimes.
Just raise that dainty middle finger and walk away.

I didn't bring the car today.
I feel weird.
I know I should feel ashamed for feeling incomplete without the car.
I was a commuter all my life until I finally decided to go behind the wheel.
But it's so hard to depend on other people to take me to my preferred destination.
It just feels awful.
I feel as if I have lost control of my life.
Not exaggerating.
But I keep telling myself the car's not all that.
And yet, it is.
Very much.
Very much all that.
So I will sit patiently in the passenger seat until I am home.
Then I'll rev it up.

Bienvenido a Mexico!
Roy is looking forward to tacos and chimichangas.
I am just looking forward to keeping busy.
Ok I'll bring a poncho, what the hell.

Ano Daw???

Hahhahahahaha

Salary and celery. The two things that will make my life easier today.

Coke Commercial - Philippines

Probably the most touching Coke commercial I've seen?

Glowing Inside ( Vaseline Shampoo TV AD / Nikki Gil )

I just saw this on YouTube. It's a shampoo ad in the Philippines. I kinda miss my long shiny black hair. I had a hair cut over a week ago and now I look like a retired rockstar. Think Pepe Smith.
I also like the whole concept. Reminds me of my early years. Mama, me and Zoe - we all have raven black hair. I have a few white ones but don't tell anyone.

"Friends are like bras. Always close to your heart and there for support."

I just saw this online and thought, "How true".

Mio Fights Cancer

The son of my fellow Miriam High School Alumna is battling cancer.
There will be a concert for him on the 9th.
Proceeds will cover his medical expenses.
If you are in Manila, it would be nice if you could come to help Mio and his mom.

In behalf of organizers Denise Laurel and Maja Salvador, we'd like to inform you that MIO FIGHTS CANCER: The Benefit Concert is moved to OCT 9, 2009 Fri 8pm at the Music Museum. We hope to see you then. We are praying for everyones safety.

Manila is flooded.
And it's not just the estero-dwelling people or the squatters under the bridges.
It's rich and poor Manila, covered in murky water.
It's cars and jeepneys and manicured lawns and junk yards.
It's strangers and people I love.

Our country is an archipelago.
It's made up of more than 7,000 islands, and we are surrounded by turbulent waters.
Angry storms attack us every year, and tears are shed for those who were fated to get washed away.
Yes, natural catastrophes are inevitable.

What can be done, I think, is a national disaster plan that is designed to lessen the destructive effects.
We have an exisiting one, and I don't know much about its strategy, but I know that it has failed to avoid losing lives every time a typhoon with a funny name visits us.
How about a more comprehensive study on our sewage network?
Katipunan is a lovely road, but the bridge on the extension becomes a river after a drizzle.
Antipolo is up high above all of us, yet it did not escape tragedy.

And what I can do right now is spread the word about the help they need back home.
Red Cross Philippines is receiving donations.

RED CROSS BANK DEPOSIT

Account Name: The Phil. Nat’l. Red Cross

METROBANK Port Area Branch

Peso Acct.: 151-3-041-63122-8

Dollar Acct.: 151-2-151-00218-2

Type of Acct. : SAVINGS

Swift Code: MBTC PH MM

BANK OF THE PHIL. ISLANDS Port Area Branch

Peso Acct.: 4991-0010-99

Type of Account: CURRENT

BANK OF THE PHIL. ISLANDS UN Branch

Dollar Acct.: 8114-0030-94

Type of Account: SAVINGS

Swift Code: BOPI PH MM

Today I went missing.
I didn't mean to disappear from the face of the earth for a couple of hours.
Well, I really shouldn't have.
Those were WORKING hours.
Everyone thought I had gone in hiding, run away, gotten lost.
But the weird thing is, for the first time in weeks, during those precious hours that I was cut off from the rest of the world, I felt that I was home.
I loved the feeling and I want to feel it again and again and again.

I also loved Flight of the Conchords by the way. Finished the first season in one day. With a wonderful person who sat through episodes 1 to 12 with me.

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be the india arie

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be the
india arie

Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the
game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta change
but,Don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with
y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'Cuz everything's gonna be all right

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be the india arie

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your Kristal and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don't need your silicone I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be india arie

You know what I do when I am utterly depressed?
I scrub.
I scrub myself silly.
I get a Moroccan bath.
I stock up on spa salts and creams and soaps and fragrances.
I scrub the dead skin away hoping all the bad things I've been keeping inside me go down the drain with all that dirt.
I scrub like there's no tomorrow.
I scrub like it's 1999.
I scrub all that shit off with my special gloves.
I scrub away.
I scrub while dancing in the bath.
I scrub while singing in the shower.
I scrub.
God do I scrub.
As a matter of fact I just did, a couple of hours ago.
I smell like milk.
And my skin feels smooth and tight.
My mind is still in shambles.

It's almost dawn and I can't sleep. If I knew all the answers, I would be dreaming away by now. But I don't, and I have to accept that. I am not about to take Panadol Night again. And this movie Asshole is not doing anything for me. There's only one thing I would like in this world right at this very moment and it's sad that there is a 50 per cent chance I will not get it. But life's like that, and even though the sleepless nights and all this thinking suck, I am embracing them as part of living, and until I know the answer - whether it's good or bad news - I am proud to have done something that I think is the best thing to do. I don't want to get in the way of someone else's goals in life. I don't want to hang around, unsure of whether my company is wanted. But it is the same pain and love inside me that will empower me to set someone free, if that's what I need to do.

Don't get me wrong... it still sucks.

Recurring Insomnia

Hey what's up.
I'm up.
After a long, almost traumatic slumber.
I succumbed to pill-popping after trying all kinds of natural ways to fall asleep.
I couldn't.
On the verge of desperation, I asked Ethel for her last two Panadol nights.
In the middle of I Love You, Man (cool movie), I went straight to dreamland.
The sofa felt like a marshmallow bed with satin sheets, and my pillows felt like George Clooney.
I woke up at 1030 AM and knew I was in trouble.
I managed to get a story out today, but I didn't start until almost 2 PM.
I was dead the whole early afternoon.
Panadol Night guarantees a total KO, longer than you want though.
So yeah no more pill-popping.
I guess the only thing you need to sleep well at night is nothing but peace of mind.
Good luck to me.

Apart from my savings, I literally have 10 dirhams to spare until pay day, unless the people who owe me money pay up. I think it's exciting and I can't wait to find out how I will end up spending it. Who am I kidding, it's going to land in the hands of the Nepalese petrol attendant.

I am so bored at work right now.
I'm trying to eat my salad in a funny way so I can make myself laugh.
How many ways are there to eat a salad?
Just stab those leaves with your fork and ram the stuff in your mouth.
I am trying to muster enough strength of character to resist the temptation of starting a food fight in the newsroom.
But that's the only thing I really want to do right this minute.

"Courage is the human virtue that counts most — courage to act on limited knowledge and insufficient evidence. That's all any of us have."
– Robert Frost

Kat and Cook

Kat and Cook have been dating for almost a year now, and I just realized how good they look together and how happy they are. Kat used to be my single friend (apart from Cux and Wys), and now she is part of a couple and I am looking forward to hanging out with them when I'm back home. It's going to be a blast. :)

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
– Annie Dillard

Had a chat with Terri and she is organizing a big trip to Visayas right after her wedding. She's calling it Team Honeymoon. So it's us and a bunch of Cris's friends.
It's basically just hanging out at the beach and maybe going on a tour. Finally, a tarsier in the flesh!
Terri jokingly told me that her fiancee is trying to create his own version of www.filipinaheart.com, by setting up his friends with hers at their wedding.

Websites like that aren't funny at all though.
If you want a crappy marriage that is based on desperation and the color of your skin, then log on to any race-based dating site.
If you want true love, wait for it.
If you want to meet new people, go out and smile at the world.
If you want a salad, walk to Cultures and get one, lazy ass.
That's what I am going to do right now.

Happy Thoughts

Happy thoughts are a quick fix to a long face.
And so I resolve to daydream until this ugh feeling goes away.
I have a bank of happy thoughts that go back to my childhood.
So let me think my way back to happiness with random memories.

My toy Totoy. He's not with me anymore; I gave it to my friend Kat. But he made me the happiest woman in the world when I was 23. And I swear when I go back in December I will get him back and we will have a blast!

Valentine's day at the local gaybar with the Pinks. How about guys in thongs dancing to Mickey?

That looong karaoke date with Ria back in 2005. We rented a whole room at Music 21 on Jupiter Street, and we had shitloads of Red Horse and pika pika, from 9 PM to 6 in the morning. It was like a whole shift. I finished my meager salary on that fateful night. We welcomed the morning with a bottle of Chocolait from 7-11, and headed home unbelieveably tired, but happy.

Karaoke with the very best of Kiko Machine at Nard's, a small bar on Panay Avenue. I crawled back to the ELJ building to have a pa-morningan snack of goto, but I created my own goto in the toilet by throwing up everything I had eaten that day. The guys got me a cab and upon reaching home, our maid pushed me to the toilet, where I submerged myself in a big drum. I woke up naked in my own bed and had to come up with a stupid explanation to Mama Becky. One that would not make her NOT proud of her first born.

Slapshock groupie days. We followed a group of up and coming rockstars around Metro Manila, and it has got to be the most embarrassing period in my teenage life. We had to go through a lot to survive their gigs. We were tear gassed by security. Nikko drove on ESDA without a head - we all had to duck in the car so the band wouldn't see us stalking them. I brought Zoe (she was 5 then) to a gig and made her sing Agent Orange in front of Jamir. Then she got scared of Jamir's orange hair and Dahlsim-like body and started crying.

Beach holidays with my family. My aunts and uncles and cousins are crazy fun. I hope we can all get together some day for a big outing. My cousin Carlo pooped in the baby pool when he was 2 years old, and it sent all the kids running to their parents, petrified. Now he is 20 and doing well in school, heading the debating team and doing social work. Maybe he's helping kids not to poop in baby pools?

Me and Wyson. When I got lonely, I would just take a jeep to Wyson's house and she would cheer me up. With a song she learned to play on the guitar, with a funny story about her dad or mom, or with a joke about how my hair sucked. The last time we got together was in December. We had a few drinks and hung out at Gateway, and promised to still give the finger to the world.

I am still debating whether this is a true story or not....

"When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that is my religion."
– Abraham Lincoln

Everyday - Barbies Cradle

This is probably my favorite Barbie's Cradle song.
And it's probably the only Christian song I am fond of.

The music video is very simple.
A walk through the Pahiyas Festival in Quezon Province.
Momzi took us there in 2005. It was fun. Lotsa colorful stuff hung on houses' windows, sweets and knick knacks you can buy from stands just outside the church.

My iPod does not disappoint.
I have been carrying it around in the car, plugging it on in the flat and everywhere else.
The songs in it are at least four years old.
But the lyrics sound fresh.
So I sing along to my favorite songs.

"No you won't find me I'm going MIA.
Tonight I'm leaving going MIA.
Getting lost in you is so much better than being numb."
-MIA, Foo Fighters

"Here comes the sun in the form of a girl
She's defined as the sweetest thing in the world
Uhuh, we're going to heaven tonight."
-Heaven Tonight, Hole

"A friend in need's a friend indeed,
A friend with weed is better."
-A Friend in Need, Placebo

"Me and my girls we aren't stressing out,
We ain't brids, we ain't heading south."
Fighting Temptation, Missy Elliott / Beyonce Knowles

"When youre searching your soul
When youre searching for pleasure
How often, pain is all you find
But when youre coasting along and nobodys trying too hard
You can turn around and like where you are."
-When I'm Thinking About You, The Sundays

"And you're consuming me violently
And your reverence shamelessly tempting me
Who sent this maniac?
'Cause I never had this taste in the past
Oh you're different, you're different from the former
Like a fresh battery, I'm energized by you."
-New, No Doubt

"When I grow up I'll be stable
When I grow up I'll turn the tables
Don't take offense, better make amends
Rip it all to shreds and let it go."
-When I Grow Up, Garbage

"I remember running through the wet grass
And falling a step behind
Both of us never tiring
Desperately wanting."
-Desperately Wanting, Better Than Ezra

"Oi lienda
Bella che fa?
Bonita, bonita que tal?
But belle
Je ne comprend pas francais
So you'll have to speak to me
Some other way."
-Belle, Jack Johnson

"There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving."
-Better Together, Jack Johnson

weird movie

I just saw the weirdest movie. Two successful women try to get male prostitutes at a bar. They take one guy each back to their place and do their thing. So in the morning they pay the guys and the guys get insulted. It turns out the guys are regular Joes grabbing a beer at the local joint. They're new in town and looking for jobs. So they storm off mad and disillusioned. But back at the motel where they're checked in, they decide they need the money. So they go back, take the wad of cash, and eventually camp out in the girls' backyard, sleeping with the girls on a daily basis and sort of dating them. Things get sour when the men feel insecure because they couldn't match the girls' finances and lifestyles. And I don't even want to know the rest of the story. I got bored.

Penis Enlargement, Sushi. You Know, Stuff.

This week was eventful all right. But it's no biggie. I would rather focus on the tiny details that I sort of overlooked because of one single event, and see if they make sense. Even if they don't, they're totally better than whatchamacallit.
Things like...

Roy's status message said he doesn't need penis enlargement. Ok he didn't really have to announce that. I lost my appetite. That is NOT a sexy thing to say and it would NOT get him any cookie.

I lent a stranger thousands of dirhams and would get the money back on Sunday. But asked her to leave her watch with me just in case. You can never be sure. I don't like the feeling of not being able to trust, but we arrived at a compromise and the watch is sitting on my bedside table.

Everyone on Facebook thought my birthday was yesterday. They sent warm greetings and their comments about my 27th birthday photo made me happy. :)

www.rta.ae/virtualtransport ---> uses Second Life Technology. A virtual tour of the Metro takes you through the station halls and on the train. And you can actually choose your character. Not bad.

Guillaume and his old pictures. He looked like a character straight out of That's Entertainment. That cracked me up!!! And to think those pictures were taken not long ago.

Fiona Apple, Dido, Nina Pearson, Gwen Stefani. Why did they have to write those songs????

Bret McKenzie is actually cute. Weedy cute.

I am going to give Momzi a Moroccan bath for his birthday. Ok I'm not going to put on my scrubbing gloves and run it up and down his ass. I am going to pay someone to do it. And no, it's not a macho exotic dancer. It's a Pinay I met who's been doing Moroccan baths for decades, and she's giving me a discount. Bonus - home service.

My best friend is in London, doing the very thing that destroys her. It's a viscious cycle. I don't know how to talk her out of it. If she gets tired, good. If she doesn't, I probably will.

The pig is staring at me in its cool green shades. No, pig, I will not make out with you. Not today. I arranged the toys I bought from Kenya and I threw in the pig in the pile, and I swear at this very second the giraffe is sniffing its butt.

Brian and Miss China. Things are not going great, apparently. But ok let's give the man a break.

I read my old journals. I realized how interesting my life has been, especialy in Dubai. I went through some of the longest entries and thought, "How the hell did that happen to me?" It's always awesome to read diaries. I would probably start writing my autobiography.
Or not yet. Not interesting enough.

Fridge and cupboard staples include Nesvita (rich in fiber, great taste), papaya slices, apples, chips, coffee, oats, tuna, chocolate and big bottle of champagne waiting to be popped. Like the troubled, angst-ridden school girl's cherry.

Sushi and sake last night. The Sushi Bar beats BentoYa. It's the freshest, most authentic thing in the world. The hot sake sliding down my throat paired with a nicely cut piece of salmon sashimi is officially better than spooning.
Do the Japanese think about spooning? Obviously not, they've got enough sushi over there.

I'm getting a crash course on how to use the PD camera at work.
Tomorrow my colleague is filming in a ladies' salon and they obviously don't allow men inside. Meaning all the cameramen are crossed out for the shoot.
And for the first time, I will be doing the camera work.
I love it.
I remember when I studied production in college.
I looooved being in front of the camera.
My classmates took advantage of that fact and assigned me to really weird roles.
When we did a short film, I played the ghost.
When we did a mock-up TV series, I was a lesbian delivery girl.
When we did a TV drama, I was Satan disguised as a nun.
But I also learned to be behind the scenes, and one of the things I enjoyed was handling the gigantic, almost-obsolete studio camera.
And I loved assuming the role of floor director.
I just basically told people what to do and sat back and relaxed.

So yeah I'm excited for the shoot.
I'm a little rusty after five years, I must admit.
But it's worth a try.
Something new. :)

Old Filipino Ads

Notice the obvious American/Spanish influence in these ads.
From the products to their choice of models.
I guess Igorots can't sell Coke.

PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE- D' Sound

Decisions.
When did you last make a big decision?
I made mine not very long ago.
It was a gamble.
It was not wrong though.
It's just something that I had to do.
Before it was too late.
And even though it really was, I think there's something good that will come out of it.
It's not going to be easy.
My mother said nothing is ever going to be easy.
Even over-easy eggs aren't that easy to make.
And it doesn't feel like I am back to square one.
It feels like I travelled a million miles and there is no turning back.
There's time for grief and lots of thinking.
Ok, I am doing just that.
And even though there are questions that cannot be answered, there's always another option.
Swallow the truth.
Swallow it until it goes down my system and leaves my system.
Fill the gaps with things that make me happy.
Like good books, and karaoke.
Or first dates.
Or emails from Manila.
Or swimming. Jogging.
Or sleeping.
And maybe somewhere around the corner something good is waiting for me.
I just need a day.
A whole day to rest my heart and mind.
To pray.
To go back to being my happy self.

I propose a toast.
To life.
To the things that make us alive.
To the people who make us alive.
To the good and bad times.
To health.
To dreams.
To the future.
To the past.
To the present.
To the end of fear.
To friends.
To love.
To belief.
To beauty.
To peace.
To everything and everyone that matters.
And the rest can go to hell.
Cheers!

Were there really plans to blow up Burj Dubai?
What the.
It's enough for Dubai to be a catastrophic place for the single and lonely.
But a terrorist attack was out of the question until today.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

I keep on opening the Bible to read these verses from Corinthians 13. They're beautiful. They're a source of strength. Even a person who cannot be bothered with religion would agree that the words in the Holy Book sums up true love. I read it all the time. When I was a teenager I read it at weddings, because I was too young to be one of the bride's maids and too old to be a flower girl. And my awkward age caused me to be familiar with the verse. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be those words.

Love is a beautiful thing. It is not Sex and the City. It is not Why Men Marry Bitches. It's not He's Just Not That Into You. It's not even the Unbearable Lightness of Being. It not any of those books. It is greater than anything one can ever feel or experience.

Love is not a game, where one person has to win and the other surrenders. Nor is it a formula for finally getting your white dress and your happily ever after. It's not a dough that you can mold into something. If it starts to grow in you, you have no choice but to heed its call. The beginning isn't always nice and sunny. And I have faith that with a sturdy pair of shoes and enough belief, love can walk through anything. Even a warzone. Or a road full of dog poop. Or the Atlantic Ocean. Or the deserts of Dubai.

So help me Love.

Quote of the Day

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." – Lao-Tzu

There are things that I really don't understand.
I wish they could be explained to me truthfully and clearly.
If that happened, my zits would surely go away and I would have the best sleep in a long time.

It really takes time to build trust when things start to go deeper than intended.
Well, I am building it, brick by brick.
The only way it will crumble is if someone burned it down to the ground.

So what? I'll build it again. But I need a hand.

I have a zit.
It's big and black and it sits right beside my mouth.
It's annoying.
It's nowhere near dry and it's not going anywhere until who knows when.
I hate zits.
I get all stressed out over one and it only leads to more zits.
Zits suck.
They multiply and they happily camp out on my skin like Facebook friends.

Mama Becky used to tell me that my zits would go away.
I had a mild case of acne when I was a teenager and it sent my self-esteem down the hill.
They did go away after a few sessions at the dermatologist's office.
As did the self-esteem issues, but it made me dread zits forever and ever and ever!
Having a zit makes me want to curl up and die in a dark corner.
Well not really.
Maybe just curl up on the sofa, tucked in a cozy blanket while watching a funny movie or series.
Waiting for benzoyl peroxide to do its magic.

I'm Short, You're A Jerk

What's up world, I'm 5 foot 2!
I know I am a little on the short side, but short people have the right to get a story without being stampede victims.
Together with burly middle-aged journalists, I chased a government official around a hypermarket in the capital, and I got pushed around in the crowd.
Someone actually pushed me and sent me flying the the dairy section.
Despite the fact that I barely slept and I was still buzzed from last evening's wine and whining, I kept my composure and told myself that those people were not worth my attention.
So before I could collide with the labans and cheeses, I gracefully glided across the aisle with a smile.
I still got a story. Two soundbytes, lots of vox pops and a short piece to camera.
Without harming anyone or throwing a fit.
And as for those giants, they can stick their stories up their hairy asses.
Jerks.

Cat's out of the baaaag!!!!
Not.

I am crazy about Flight of the Conchords.
They're actually my new heroes now.
It used to be Ali G, and then Peter and Stewie Griffin, and then Michael Scott.
Now Bret and Jemaine have caught my attention and I am addicted.

God I remember my high school years.
I used to collaborate with a number of people to write songs.
Mostly with Nikko, who is by the way (ahem ahem) a lawyer now.
Congrats Nildy.
Ok and then there's Fifi.
I remember this rap song that we wrote.
Well, re-wrote. It was our version of Humanap Ka ng Panget.
It was called Humanap ka ng Gatas.
It's about breastfeeding an ugly baby that was so hungry when it was still a fetus that it ate up its mom's placenta.
We performed it in front of the whole batch on Sophomore Day, when the guest performers didn't show up.
Man, we were great fillers.
And then there's Izza. We wrote a song about meeting a princess and eating Snaku with her.
And then another one about salted eggs in Pateros. Ooookay.
That was way out of this world.
We weren't even smoking anything then.

I was so psyched by Flight of the Conchords that I rummaged through my old stuff under my bed and found the Lulubhelle Morayta CD.
It was a bunch of songs that Nikko and I recorded when we were in third year high school.
We skipped our big chemistry quiz so we could stalk our prom dates, and afterwards, if I remember correctly, we went to her house and decided to legendize Lulubhelle Morayta.
So we recorded 15 tracks using her portable CD player/recorder, in her room.
I listened to the whole thing in the car on my way to work on Thursday, and it cracked me up.
The songs were about falling in love with our teachers, falling in love with our prom dates, falling in love with a house boy, falling in love and falling out of love again.
And we didn't even know how to make out then.
I would probably deny to have written some of the songs if it wouldn't make people laugh.
But they would. Sherry cracked up when she listened to Corn Bits, the rap song I wrote.
I honestly believed I could be a female Snoop Dogg.

Anyway I miss Nikko and her second voice, eventhough she always overpowered my voice and hers always seemed to sound like the main one.
I miss Izza and her lyrics.
And Fifi and her ideas.
But Fifi's right here with me so maybe I don't miss her all that much.
I miss her Betty Boop hairline though.
Too bad she discovered the joys of threading somewhere between college and her early career.

I probably don't have the knack to write such songs anymore, which is why Bret and Jemaine are so awesome. They've been doing this stuff since college and now they're over 30 and can still rock the house.

We used to do that a lot. I swear when I go back home I am going to let everyone listen to the CD. I'm not sure if they'll still find it funny, but for sure I'm going to crack up again.
And maybe this time we'll be smoking something.

Flight of the Conchords Ep 7 'Leggie Blonde'

Flight of the Conchords- I'm Not Crying Ep 1

LOL... my favorite line here is
"I'm not crying, it's ust been raining on my face..."

I never knew online banking was THAT easy!
I am happy with Dubai Bank, really.
They don't have many branches or ATMs, but they keep things simple.

It's my techie phobia that's making me miss a lot of stuff.
There are so many things I can do with my finances, travels, shopping and basically my whole life if I just had the courage to comprehend technology.
It's not beyond my cranial capacity.
I just have to be desperate enough to try it out.

My friend worked in a kind of company where the boss's wife had a say in everything, and according to my friend she was a real bitch.
She never really updated me on the kind of stuff she had to deal with, but I could tell that the bitch was giving her lots of shit.
And then she emailed me saying her fiancee threw an "I Hate My Boss's Wife" party for her.
Complete with party hats.
That is awesome.
It's one of the sweetest things a man could do for the woman he loves.
It's not about the party really.
It's a very creative and fun way to show her that he is actually listening to her.
That he actually understands and sympathizes.
That it pains him to see the woman he loves suffering in the hands of a someone who's not even significant in her life.
The party was small and simple. The hats were handmade (markers), but the thought is way out of this world and it is definitely what counts.
She sent me a picture, and I am tempted to post it on my blog.
But she said to hold it until she gets permission from her colleagues.
LOL.
She got a new job by the way. Good for her.

My first trip on the Metro was all right.
It was like everyone was on acid.
I've never seen train passengers get so hyped up.
There was a whole family in red holding red balloons, because they were gliding through the Red Line, and it was the mom's birthday.
Some people worked their way to the front of the train (nudging me, shoving their armpits in my face) to get a good view of Dubai by night.
Others sat still but looked giddy and smiled all throughout the trip, as if they wanted to scream but thought it was better to keep the excitement to themselves.
I wanted to do a walk-through piece to camera on the train, but I couldn't possibly walk while it was moving, because the ride was a bit bumpy and I was wearing high heels, as instructed by my producer.
We thought there was a press conference after the ride.
But it was just a ride. A joy ride. More like an ecstasy ride.
I'm glad people didn't get around to giving each other free hugs.
Or feeling each other up.

The trip had a different effect on me.
Or I was taking a different drug.
It gave me a nostalgic high.
It reminded me of Metro Manila's MRT and my turbulent days after stepping out of college.
My first job interview at an advertising company was made possible by a 10-peso Cubao-Ortigas MRT ride.
It wasn't a good one though.
I kicked ass during the interview but failed a trick exam, the one with squares inside cirlces and dots inside ovals and you have to choose from a, b, c, or d the best shape that completes the pattern.
The boss said he would still hire me if I didn't get a boyfriend.
So I left the jerk in his office without saying a word, and my day would have sucked if I had to take the bus all the way back home.
But I didn't have to.
MRT saved my day.

What a stupid flashback.

"Always behave like a duck — keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath."– Jacob Braude

Flight of the Conchords Ep 4 Sello Tape

Stick it together with the tape of looooove.... the sticky stuff. Hahahahhahaha!

Tell me all your secrets
And I'll tell you no lies
Ask me all your questions
I've got nothing to hide
I'll hold your hand and pack my bags
Won't even think twice
Just to be with you I'd go a thousand miles

I'll never wake you early
On a holiday
I'll never call you up
If I've got nothing to say
But I'll always let you kiss me
'Round everyone
And you won't have to look for me
You know I won't run

Jason Mraz - "I'm Yours" LIVE (Official RMTV Acoustic) Rare Early Performance!

Make It Mine Official Music Video - Jason Mraz

Love the lyrics.

I am always lost for words when I am in front of someone I truly love and respect. I always don't get my message across. I try too hard to say something in the best way possible. When we are face to face, I stammer and look down and eventually dismiss everything with a joke and a kiss. And at this point I don't think he knows how much I love him.

He makes me happy. He really does. I may not verbalize it, but I am sure that he feels it. Whatever it is that I feel inside is so strong that it is impossible for him not to sense it. It is out there, shamelessly screaming at the universe.

This is one of the rarest moments in my life where I have stripped myself of selfishness. I just want to give and understand and love. And doing all this for him makes me even happier. Whatever happens, as long as he is still willing to continue, I will stand by my man all the way.

I am proud of him. I am. I believe in what he does and the endless possibilities that his talent can bring. He has dreams that are high up there, and he is on his way to achieving them. And I am honored to watch them come true, to see the action unfold.

According to John Gray's Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus, men sometimes need to "retreat into their caves" when they are stressed. This could mean they would like to spend time alone while determing a solution to a problem, or simply spend time with friends to destress. They will eventually come out, feeling much better and more capable of taking care of their women.

When he comes out of his cave, he knows where to find me. I am just in the next cave, getting a facial.

Kenya Photos

zeenahhh.multiply.com

For the first half of my trip I indulged myself in contemporary Japanese literature.

Haruki Murakami put an end to my fiction reading hiatus, and once again my senses were excited by words craftilly put together to convey a slice of life.

The story starts with a wide shot of Tokyo, like a crane camera breezing through the city. Everyone knows about Tokyo. Bright lights, funky outfits, crazy music, colors everywhere.

But Murakami's camera does a freefall and zooms in on people, places and actions. Closer shots may not capture the city's jumping neon vibe, but it makes the place more human. It fleshes out the secret thoughts and desires of people in the city as the night ends and another day approaches.

The book gave me a high. I read on the bus, while on a wildlife safari, outside my cottage with a maginificent view of Kilimanjaro, in the bed, and upon waking up. And no matter how beautiful Kenya was, I was enslaved by Murakami's writing. I couldn't put the book down.

Personally, I'm a very emotional and empathetic fiction reader. If I can't relate to the characters, I cannot finish a novel. And this is why I love After Dark. I think if it were made into a movie, it would be charged with energy and emotions, and a million other different feelings.

Mari, Takahashi, Eri. Deep slumbers, dreams of going away, committing a crime a decent person would never have done during the day, nights in the weirdest places. It's all about perception, feeling, getting a whiff, a slap, a sip of things. The things you do make you alive, and if you do something new it gives you a rush. In your brain, in your heart, in your veins. It's like drugs minus all the medical complications and the possibility of death. It is the complete opposite.

Come dawn, things are completely normal. The individual adrenaline dissolves in a mass of coats, boots, and slowly drowned out by rush hour noise. And it is devastating to be a faceless person in a crowd. We all want to stand out, in more ways than one. That's why we strive. And we do things differently. But a force collects us all so that the crane camera can film a perfect shot of the city. Coffee shops open, restaurants full, office computers turned on, cash being exchanged by busy hands.

Ok I have to stop writing before I get sad. The point is, I loved the book.

I got this from Facebuko. I do not own it and do not intend to, that's why I am sharing it with all of you. Hilarious!

update from Kenya

I am itching to blog but don't have much time!
What I can tell you is that I am having the time of my life.
Been eating lots of meat but the safari has been a total work out.
Lots of bruises and mosquito bites on my poor thighs.
Hmmm and have been reading a lot.
Any reading material I see, I grab and scan.
So I've learned a lot about anything and everything, but that's a different story.
Right now I am in a beautiful resort in Diani, with a view of the beach :)
I am three cartwheels aways from the spa, which makes it increasingly tempting to just go there and use my Visa card.
Shillings can be deceiving, you see.
You think a few thousands is just a couple of dirhams, but they all add up and before you know it your bank account's in jeopardy.
Luckily internet here is free.
Ok, pictures, anecdotes, and maybe a whole new layout when I' back.
See yah!

PS Follow me on Twitter! zeenahhh

FUNNY SIGNS!!!! (from the Definitely Filipino Facebook Page)

I loooove funny signs. Enjoy!

I want to change my blog layout but I am completely handicapped when it comes to following very specific instructions and figuring out which codes to use. The last time I fixed by layout and the color scheme, I was in front of the computer for hours and didn't even notice that I was salivating. The dining table had spit on it and even then I still couldn't find a way to move my profile picture from the center to the sidebar.

If you know a great blog layout site for dummies, let me know. I'm super bored of this look.
Might also change the title. Forward always forward sounds very Lea Salonga-ish, and I think I've outgrown that struggling nice girl making lemonade out of lemons phase.

Three Things (I got this from Eve)

THREE NAMES I GO BY
1. Zeena 2. Zinzin 3. ZZ

THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE
1. Brainstormer 2. Scriptwriter 3. Reporter

THREE PLACES WHERE I HAVE LIVED
1. Quezon City 2. Dubai 3. ELJ Building hehehe

THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
1. The Office US 2. Family Guy 3. Ali G reruns

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN
1. Bangkok 2. Delhi/Agra 3. Muscat/Nizwa

THREE PLACES I WANT TO VISIT
1. The U S of A :D 2. The rest of Asia 3. Some parts of Europe

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Pinoy 2. Japanese 3. Anything sweet/salty

THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO
1. My much awaited December vacation 2.Working on an awesome story 3. Hanging out with the people I love

THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
1. Sonia the infamous garter snake 2. an unnamed goldfish 3. that’s about it

THREE FAVORITE BANDS/SINGERS (I have so many, but ok lets see)
1. Garbage 2. The Cardigans 3. No Doubt

THREE FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH
1. Basketball 2. Boxing 3. That’s about it

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
1. WATERRRRRRRRR 2. fresh juice (coconut, mango, cranberry) 3. Wine

Annika

The latest from my cousin Annika :D

On overdrive
Sleep deprived
A thousand feelings
Come alive
Humming to
A catchy tune
Daydreaming
All afternoon
Fetching thoughts
From deep within
Tossing bad vibes
As I sing
Fading memories
Of a shady past
High five
I'm home at last

"When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time."– St. Francis De Sales

"There will be change, because all the military have are guns." - Daw Aung San Suu Kyi

I was having breakfast at Al Reem Tower while waiting for my passport to get stamped by the Kenyan consul when my eyes idly turned to the TV screen. Aung San Suu Kyi was on Al Jazeera, meeting a crowd of journalists after being sentenced to another 18 months of house arrest. I have not heard of anyone who has gotten used to being imprisoned in their own home - two decades to be exact. She has done nothing but fight for democracy and the people in Burma who wanted change, and the Burmese military junta just keeps throwing her back in her home where she is expected to shut her mouth and grow old, hands tied.

But Dr. Suu Kyi has shown nothing but resilience. The very first thing you notice is the calmness on her face that does not at all indicate surrender. It's both a knowing look that saw yet another mockery of justice and democracy, and more importantly, a sign of hope and dedication. She will just keep trying, house arrest after house arrest.

She has a lot of supporters around the world. Governments, high-profile officials, intellectuals, non profit groups, civilians. She has won a lot of international awards for her efforts to pursue democracy and peace. It's sad that the only place in the world where support for her is perpetually suppressed is in her own country, which is the only reason she has been through a life-long political struggle.

I realized while watching her gracefully accept her fate that she is someone I truly admire. There is something in her eyes that says the struggle is worth it, and one day her efforts will pay off. Not for her own benefit, but for the nation she has lived for. The challenges in my life are nothing compared to hers, and there is no reason for me to worry, something I tend to do all the time. So I reminded myself to do like Aung San Suu Kyi --- live life or calm and ardor, with a smile that only the people who truly understand me will know the meaning of.

When I got my passport stamped with the visa, I beamed and glided down the escalator, in true Aung San Suu Kyi fashion. The only thing I've got that she hasn't is my black abanico. What's up Dr. Suu Kyi.

I'm eating Khadijah's cold spaghetti
Straight from the Coca Cola paper cup
Thinking if the dots on my face are happy
Wondering if the swelling will ever stop
I finished writing my piece for the day
About a satellite and a bunch of men
And I plan to drink a glass of chardonnay
After work for a moment of zen

From Khalidiya, to Rashidiya
The heat and stink gonna kill ya
I miss Manila, my esquenita
Where my peeps dont sleep we gonna grill ya

I was so bored I started rapping in my head.
And these words just came together like a badly made mosaic.